Chapter 16
I put on my white blazer to cover myself before going out of my room; bringing my car keys and a bottle of rum. A drink on the pool will do before I'll proceed to Kiara's house.
Ngunit natigilan ako nang maratnan kong si Leslie sa isang lounge chair dito sa pool area ng mansion ko. Tahimik at humihithit ng sigarilyo. His eyes' staring at the blue water of the pool.
Sa halip na tumalikod dahil sa sakit at kirot na aking nararamdaman, pinili kong humakbang palapit sa pwesto niya. Kita ko namang nag-angat ito ng tingin sa 'kin.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
He looked down at the bottle of rum I was holding and lifted his gaze back to my eyes. "I should be the one asking you that. What are you doing here and with a bottle of rum?"
I shrugged as if my heart's not thumping fast, painfully. Umupo ako sa isa pang lounge chair at sumandal sa back rest nito. I inhaled deeply and tightened the grip of my car keys as I spit some questions.
"Was that a show?" mahinang tanong ko. "I heard your conversation."
"I know," he replied.
Nilingon ko ito. "Was that all a lie?"
Ang inaasahan kong pagtango niya ay hindi nangyari. Instead, a devilish grin formed on his lips as he calmly leaned against his chair. "That was true."
"You said you love me." I tried not to let my voice cracked.
Tumawa ito nang mahina at bumaling sa 'kin dala ang malamig na tingin. "What happened on that province is a show, Keith. It was your mom's plan. I love you mom that's why I did her will."
You asshole! Napahigpit ang kapit ko sa bote ng rum.
No way, Keith. Don't cry. Hindi ka dapat umiiyak. I convinced myself. Hindi naman niya talaga ako dapat makitang umiiyak. I don't want him to witness and know that I fell into his trap, and I fell in love with him. Hindi pwede.
So instead of bursting all the emotions I contained inside me, I chose to stand and smiled at him. A wicked one. It's as if my heart wasn't breaking into tiny pieces.
"I was right," I said. "If you think the plan was a success, you are wrong."
"I penetrated you," may diing sambit nito na ikinahalakhak ko.
"I didn't bleed, Leslie. It means, someone got me first before you," mapang-uyam kong sambit. "Your mission failed. I played you, too. Ang mga kagaya mo ay hindi siniseryoso."
I started making steps out of the pool area when he spoke, "And where are you going?"
Tumigil ako sa paghakbang at nilingon siya. "Magpapadilig. Ikaw sana papadiligin ko kaso ayoko na pala. Enjoy!"
I winked at him before finally walking out of the place. Dumiretso ako sa garage at pina-alarm ang sasakyan ni uncle Baron. Matapos ay sumakay ako dito at pinaandar ang sasakyan.
I maneuvered the car out of the place. Pinagbuksan naman ako ng guard ng gate kaya hindi na ako bumaba pa.
I bit my lips as I drove my car into the empty highway. Mariin ang kapit ko sa manibela habang ang isip ko ay binabaybay ang alaala namin nang nasa probinsiya kami.
Bakit parang ang bilis? Parang kahapon lang naglalampungan pa kami sa kama. Parang kahapon lang, bukam-bibig niya pa ang salitang mahal kita. Tapos biglang ganito.
Sometimes reality sucks. Kung kailan masaya ka na sa sarili mong mundo, bigla ka na lang kakalabitin ng reyalidad. Bakit nga ba hindi ko ito naisip agad? Nang tanungin ko siya tungkol sa pagmamahal niya kay mommy at hindi siya sumasagot, sana doon pa lang ay nagduda na ako.
Stupid me. He won't marry my mother if he didn't love her. Kasi kung tutuosin, na sa kanya na ang lahat. Pera, kapangyarihan, at pagiging sikat. He loves my mother and not me. Those three words he spit was a lie.
Keep convincing yourself, Keith. Diyan ka naman magaling, e.
I took a deep breath as lone tear escape from my left eye. Hindi ko ito pinahiran. Hinayaan ko na lang itong tumulo dahil wala akong lakas para punasan pa ito.
A sob escape my lips as I whispered, "Daddy, I hope you're here."
--
"Are you sure you're okay?" uncle Baron asked for the nth time.
He's been asking me that questions for a couple of time now. Kanina niya pa akong umaga kinukulit.
"I'm fine, uncle," I responded to his question.
"Did something happen in your vacation?" tanong ulit nito at umupo sa vistor's chair sa harap ng mesa ko. "You didn't even take a quick break. Nag-lunch ka ba?"
Binaba ko ang ballpen at nag-angat sa kanya ng tingin. I forced a smile and nodded my head. "Ayos lang naman ako, uncle. I'm just a little bit sleepy. I didn't have a proper sleep last night."
"Why?"
Nakagat ko ang aking ibabang labi at napayuko. Sorry, daddy. "Na-miss ko lang si daddy. I remembered that every vacation, he would take me to Bali and let me enjoy my life to the fullest."
Tumango-tango na naman ito na parang kumbinsido. "Alright. Anyway, your new secretary would be here for your personal interview."
Nginitian ko lang ito at tinanguhan muli akong nagpatuloy sa pagbabasa ng mga dokumento na kinakailangan kong permahan at intindihin.
"Kieth, someone wants to talk to you," saad ni uncle.
"Who? I'm busy at the moment," I replied; not bothering to look at him.
"Keith," pagtawag ng isang pamilyar na boses.
Doon ko na inangat ang tingin ko at bumungad sa 'kin si Marco na nakangiti at may dalang bulaklak ng tulips na kulay lila. Uncle excused himself and walked out of the room, leaving me alone with Marco.
"Oh, Marco. Napadalaw ka." Tumayo ako at iminuwestra ang sofa dito sa loob ang aking opisina.
"Stop faking your smile. Hindi nababagay sa 'yo." He handed me the bouqet of violet tulips. "Here, accept my love."
Natawa ako sa sinabi nito. Umupo ako sa mahabang sofa at tumabi naman ito sa 'kin. "Seryoso, alam kong may rason kung bakit ka nandito. Ano 'yun?"
Ang nakangiting mukha nito ay napalitan ng pagkaseryoso. "Kiara called me last night, saying you're wasted and crying. I asked her the reason and she told me to ask you personally because it's not her story to tell. Care to share it with me? Sinong nagpaiyak sa 'yo?"
Parang otomatikong bumuka ang bibig ko ang sinatinig ang pangalang kinamumuhian ko, "Leslie."
I saw how Marco's jaw clenched. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked at me. "What did he do to you this time?"
Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko at tuluyan nang umiyak. The last string that controlled my tears was gone. I burst out crying like a baby in front of Marco.
"I fell in love with him," I confessed. "T-tapos sabi niya na laro lang daw lahat. Na pag-uutos lamang daw 'yun ni mommy at—"
He pulled my hand and wrapped his arms around me for a warm embrace. Mas lalo pa yata akong naiiyak dahil sa pag-aalo niya.
"Hindi ko ba deserve ang seryosohin?" I cried. "Ang tanga-tanga ako, punyeta."
"Shh." He tightened his embrace and caressed my back in an up and down pace.
"Bakit ko ba kasi pinatulan 'yun, e asawa niya ang mommy ko. Ang landi ko rin," pagkakastigo ko sa aking sarili habang patuloy na umiiyak.
"Hush, now." I felt him kissed my hair. "He's not worth your tears. Stop crying."
Sa halip na tumahan, mas lalo pa tuloy akong naiyak. Lalo na nang maalala ko si daddy. He was my comforter back then. Hindi na ako nasanay.
Hindi na nagsalita pa si Marco at hinayaan na lamang akong umiyak. Hindi siya nagreklamo kahit alam kong basang-basa na ang balikat ng kanyang damit dahil sa luha ko. He just hugged me tight like he's telling me that everything's gonna be alright.
Nang tumahan na ako ay dahan-dahan akong lumayo sa kanya. Medyo blurred ang paningin ko dahil sa luhang nasa mga mata ko. I keep sobbing as I whispered.
"Thank you, Marco."
He held my chin and lifted it to lock my gaze with his. Pinunasan nito ang mga takas kong luha sa 'king pisngi. "I told you, I'm one call away."
I smiled at him and took a deep breath. Pinunasan ko ang aking mga mata. Wala na akong pakealam kahit magkalat pa ang mascara sa mga mata ko.
"Stop wiping your eyes." Hinawakan nito ang kamay ko. "Don't ruin your mascara. A man should ruin a woman's lipstick, not her mascara. Stop crying because it doesn't suits you."
Napangiti ako sa sinabi nito. I wiped my cheeks and sniffed. Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya at bumuntong hininga. "Sorry you have to witness that."
He just ruffled my hair. "Stop worrying. I'm pleased that you trusted me about that very serious matter. I'm happy about that."
I smiled. Sakto namang may kumatok sa pinto kaya't nagpaalam na rin si Marco na aalis.
"Susunduin kita mamaya, is that okay with you?" he asked.
I checked my wristwatch and shook my head. "May lakad kami ni Kiara mamaya."
"Is that so? Just give me a call if you want me to fetch you." He kissed my forehead first before walking towards the door.
Pagbukas nito ng pinto ay bumungad naman si uncle Baron kasama ang isang dilag. Marco said goodbye to him before out.
"Keith, this is Gemma," pakilala ni uncle Baron at ngumiti. "Gemma, this is Keith. She will be the one to interview you since sa kanya ka magtatrabaho."
Gemma bowed her head. "Hello, po. I'm Gemma Fortun, applying as your secratary po."
Ngumito ako dito at tinuro ang sofa. "Have a seat and let's start."
--
"Keith, seryoso ka ba? Kaya mo pa?" Nicole asked for the nth time.
I nodded my head. Muli kong tinunga ang isang baso na puno ng alak. I'm not in the mood to talk, nor to spit some shit. But something inside me wants to burst.
Maybe it was my tears. The emotions I've been reining since my father died.
Bakit ba kasi ang malas ko? Iniwan na nga ako ni daddy, sawi pa ako sa love life. Maybe I should thank God that I haven't confessed my feelings yet.
Of course, you realized it late. Saka mo lang napagtantong mahal mo siya nang marinig mo usapan nila ng mommy mo.
Muli akong nagsalin ng alak sa aking baso at walang imik itong tinunga. Nakatitig ako sa mga taong hindi magkamayaw sa pagsayaw. They danced as if their lives are depending on it.
"Ano ba kasing nangyari, Keith? Bakit nagkakaganito ka?" Jona asked. She's sober, so am I.
Binalingan ko ito gamit ang aking mapupungay na mga mata. "It's something that... that would blow your mindsh."
Nicole turned to me. "What is it?"
I leaned against my seat as I felt my head starting to spin. "I had an affair."
"With whom?" Jona asked. "With a married man? O my gosh! You a mishtresh?"
I burst out laughing after hearing her. I pointed her and laughed. "Yesh, bitch. Natumbok mo poshta!"
"God, these two people!" I heard Nicole exclaimed. "Kaira, maihahatid mo ba si Keith? Ako na bahala kay Jona."
"I can't, Nics," Kiara replied. "My head's starting to spin. Let me call Marco."
Tumayo ako bigla kaya nakaramdam ako ng pagkahilo. Mabilis kong binalanse ang aking tayo. "Don't call him."
"No, Kieth. Maupo ka. Eto na nga ba sinasabi ko, e. You should've told us what's bothering you. Hindi 'yung nagkakaganito ka."
Natawa ako ng mahina. "Shh, I'm good."
Napaigik ako nang hilahin ako ni Nicole para paupuin kaya't mariin kong pinikit ang aking mga mata.
"Rest. We already called someone to fetch you."
Umungol lang ako bilang pagresponde habang nakapikit ang aking mga mata. Pinagpahinga ko muna ang aking sarili. It took me almost an hour of eyes closed before I heard a familiar voice calling my name.
"I told you not to enter a bar, didn't I?" I heard him asked.
Kasunod nito ay ang pakiramdam ko ay umangat ako sa hangin. I didn't bother to open my eyes dahil susuka ako kapag nagkataon.
Ramdam ko ang pagdampi ng malambot na bagay sa likod ko.
"I'll take you home."
I just groaned but didn't bother to speak. Hinayaan ko na lang siya.
"Why don't you leave the house and live away from them?" he asked.
Umayos ako ng upo at binalingan siya. "I don't wanna go far away."
"Live in with me."
Sa sinabi niya napahalakhak ako. "Patay na patay ka talaga sa 'kin, Marco."
"Who wouldn't?" he murmured something I can't understand. "We're here."
Ramdam kong huminto ang sasakyan at bumaba siya ng kotse. Kinapa ko naman ang seatbelt ko at binuksan ng kusa ang pintuang na sa tabi ko.
"Hey, careful." His hand held my elbow to support my balance.
Tinabig ko ang kamay nito. "I'm fine, Marco. I can walk."
I blinked my eyes to make sure na hindi pasuray-suray ang lakad ko. Ngunit nakaisang hakbang pa lang ako ay nakaramdam na ako ng pagkahilo.
"Stop pushing my hands. I know you can't walk," Marco said.
Nginitian ko lang ito at sasagot pa sana nang may sumabat sa usapan namin.
"It took you almost midnight to come home. Kasama mo pala si Umali," wika ni Leslie na nakatayo sa hamba ng nakabukas naming gate.
Umayos ako ng tayo at tinitigan siyang mabuti sa kabila ng namumungay kong mga mata. "Oh? Hey, daddy!"
"Keith," I heard Marco whispered as if trying to stop me. E, wala naman akong ginagawa.
"Anong ginagawa mo here?" I asked.
"Pasok sa loob, Keith Berlin." I heard his cold and baritone voice lingered through my ear.
Napatawa ako ng mahina at sumandal kay Marco. "Marco," I called him out loud.
"Hmm?" he responded.
Pinikit ko ang aking mga mata at tumingala. "Ayoko umuwi dito. Iuwi mo na ako."
"A-ano?"
Nilingon ko ito at napansing ilang dagkal na lang ang layo ng aming labi. "You ashked me to live in with you. My answer is yesh. Tara uwi na tayo."
"Keith Berlin Gil!"