I had a name, a long lost one, Caitlin Snow, the forbidden one, Frost and many others than didn't feel like the right way to go, Josephine, but only with one particular nickname I felt like home, " snowflake ". Barry gave me this nickname one night of winter when we couldn't leave the house because outside was snowing so bad that even the pool freezed. Barry had a soft side, who would've think?
Flashback
" You have to understand that if we leave the house now you're gonna get a flu " — he said giving me a forehead kiss after he sat next to me in the couch while giving me my glass.
" This were supposed to be the holidays where we weren't criminals anymore and go out and have a dinner like normal people do " — I was so mad at the weather for not letting me have the night I had dreamed about since winter started.
" You want to become a snowflake ? " — my heart got soft hearing that from his mouth.
" I wouldn't mind if I were your snowflake " — I laughed and looked him in the eyes.
" You're always gonna be my snowflake " — he smiled before he kissed me. I could go to the end of the world with him. But right now I felt good in front of the cheminee drinking wine and kissing him all night long.
—
I found myself looking into space when I got a notification on my phone, interruping my thoughts. " I am outside your house — B ".
I was surprised that he ended up having my phone number as well as my address. I got my jacket and shut the lights. This is gonna be a bumby ride.
He turned to look into my direction when the sound of my heels were closer to him.
" You have to wear heels everywhere you go ? " — he opened my door car letting me get in.
" You know, a woman fight better in heels " — I said when he got in the car.
" He are not going to fight anyone " — he laughed and looked at me while I was fixing my lipstick in the mirror.
" Are you sure you wanna do this ? " — I found a little worry in his voice this time.
" I am sure I wanna do this " — my confidence was blowing up, that or the bottle of wine I drunk since he left this afternoon.
I was looking outside the window all the way, thinking about what I'll find there, Ronnie or someone else ? Someone I wouldn't recognize if I had in front of me. What if Barry lied all this time ? Why would him ? He didn't have anything to win in all of this, and like I said, he never played games, he had more serious things to take care of insted going to France with me.
" We're here " — I didn't realise that we were already in the airstrip. I nodded and one of his employee opened my door.
There was a big privite jet in front of me. Barry Allen, always wanting to do things in a spectacular way. The same boy helped us with the baggage and before I went into the plane I took another look at it to think if I was doing the right thing. I felt Barry's hand on my waist " It's not too late to go back home ".
" I need to do this " — I said while climbing the stairs to get into the place. Barry was right behind me telling me that the flight would take about four hours to France and that I could rest, he gave me one last look and left the mini-room.
I took my phone to see of Ronnie texted me but it was only Barry's message that I didn't opened yet. You ever waked up and felt like your past is coming right from behind ? Well, that was me in that moment. I tried so hard to stop being that renegade I was, changing my name, be a normal woman who wanted just to marry the man of her dreams and have a beautiful family. But in the end, I was still stuck on the past, living all over again with 20 years.
I went to the middle of the plane where I found Barry with a glass of Scotch prying his tie.
" Why don't you rest a little ? You seem tired " — I said sitting in front of him.
" You won't believe if I tell you that this four hours are gonna be the most relaxing time of the last few months " — his smile came outside very quickly.
I smiled back — " Knowing you I could believe it ".
In that moment his smile disappeared and had another drink of wiskey.
" You don't know me anymore, Snow " — I stayed quiet — " Since you left a lot have changed ".
This conversation went like a roller coaster.
" I am sorry " — my voice was cracking, once again.
" For ? " — he said looking me right into the eyes.
" I left without letting you say anything ".
" Cait, I found you a week after you left that letter on the table. In New York, drinking a coffee. But here's the thing, I didn't wanted to tell you anything, because I knew that I would hurt you more than it could've hurt me. I just wanted to see you one last time " — I couldn't believe what he just said. He took my chin making me look again at him. He was honest and seem peacefully after saying that.
" Thank you for understanding me, I even couldn't understand myself back there " — my cracking voice was gone. That was a sign that I didn't have to be a lie around him. He still knew me better than anyone.
" You wanted a normal life, it wasn't easy everynight to run and fight all over again, assassinate and steal. After all this time, neither me can deal with it " — I have to be honest, having him made everything so easy. I wish I could tell him the real reason why I left.
I smiled and standing up to put myself a glass of alcohol — " You didn't actually though I was letting you drink alone, did you ? " — I said trying to make everything feel normal again.
He laughed in a second after that — " You always suprise me, you know that ".
The rest of the flight went good, at some point I even forgot why I was going to France. Being with Barry made me feel like myself again, around him I didn't have to fake anything anymore.
It was only him and I. Us against everything. Like old times.