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"Ok here's your key, go ahead and get to your room." You say to Mr. Nogami. He snatches it away from you and walks away grumbling, his short legs waddling around.
As he toddles away you flip him off and mock nonsense.
"You're childish." Ren comments.
You put your hand down and nod. "And you're correct. Here's your and Haru's key. Don't argue. I don't want any complaints from the workers here." You give him the key and usher them away from you, ignoring the groans.
"You're okay with sleeping in the same room as me, right? There are two beds." You tell Natsumi. She quickly nods her head and smiles. You give her the same smile and walk down the hall, the silent girl following.
Really, there wasn't much of a choice for the room arrangements considering you have a budget for this mission. Sure you could afford separate rooms for each person considering your home family income now, but that seems like a waste.
So you just asked to make sure you weren't making her uncomfortable in any way.
You make your way to the room and unlock it, opening the door for Natsumi and walking in after her.
She immediately lights up when she sees two big beds and sprints to the closest one, hopping in and going through the pillows with a smile.
You lock the door behind yourself and grab the remote to the T.V, tossing it to her as you slip off your Jōnin jacket.
"Hey," You start to catch her attention. "I'm going to go and get a drink, do you want anything? Like a juice?" Her eyes gain stars and she nods eagerly.
You nod yourself and start heading to the door, but stop when you get there. "Don't open the door for anyone except me, Haru, or Ren. And if I'm not back in an hour, go to their room. Alright?"
"Y-y...yes Sen-n-nsei." You brightly smile at her verbal response and leave the room, instructing her to make sure the door is locked.
As soon as you leave the room you quickly exit the inn and start walking the streets. You aren't going to get a drink, obviously. But it's not like you could tell her where you are going.
Walking through the streets, you don't come in contact with many people. Actually, you don't come in contact with any people.
The dark streets give you an oddly comforting feeling. Like you're alone, but not. Not in the sense that you're being stalked or followed— just that the moon is with you.
As you listen to the soft crunches of stray, dry leaves decorating the floor, you lose any sense of guard and accidentally let it down, getting lost in your own mind.
Per usual it's racing around— but it doesn't bother you.
Instead, it almost feels safe.
You softly take off your gloves and close your eyes while sucking in a deep breath of nothingness.
Your feet continue to walk even as you keep your eyelids closed.
The cool air washes past your skin and strips you of any guard that was up, leaving you completely vulnerable. You aren't sure what it is about this village, but something... something... makes it seem so safe.
Or maybe someone.
You've never been in this village, no, but you feel like you're oddly at home. Like something is waiting for you here. There is no one you know. Not a single gravel of sand you recognize. Yet you know you need to be here, like you've been called here for a reason.
A reason other than finding your wretched mother, that is.
You're suddenly pulled from your thoughts when two voices catch your attention. So, looking to the side, you see a very small family standing outside of a dango stand.
A mother, a father, and a little girl. All of their backs are turned to you.
Your feet come to a halt and you keep your vision super glued to them.
The small girl laughs and wedges her hand between her parents, making them also laugh and each hold one of her tiny limbs. Her father then grabs a stick of Dango and pushes it toward his daughter's mouth, where she takes a big bite— big enough to take a whole piece off. The man then directs the stick to his wife's mouth and she takes two bites, finishing the second dumpling. After that, he eats the last one himself and tosses the stick on the ground.
You recognize the look on his face and go into what feels like a trance. He has the look of pure happiness, not a worry in his heart.
Meanwhile, your heart is shattering to bits for what seems like the millionth time.
You see, this is the moment you realize you haven't seen that look on Kakashi's face in years.
The last time you saw Kakashi with pure happiness seething on his face was when you were pregnant with Mai.
Six years ago.
Your nostrils sting as your chin just barely quivers, your eyelashes becoming damp with incoming tears you refuse to let escape. Because not only do you realize Kakashi hasn't been truly happy... but you realize you aren't enough to make him fulfilled.
Sure, he loves you. You know that. You understand that. But you're the reason his life is shattered. There's no way around it.
Thickly swallowing, you ball your fists and keep looking at the man, hating him and hating his whole family— including the little girl.
Why you? Why are you the one who has to suffer? Why are you the one who has to go to bed knowing you caused the love of your life more pain than any can know?
It's hard. It's just so hard.
Suddenly, the family turns around and sees you staring at them. The little girl gains a happy smile and turns to her parents, speaking to them quietly while they eye you. They agree to whatever she's saying and they hand her another stick of Dango.
But to your surprise, the girl turns around and uses her small feet to jog to you, her curly black hair jumping up and down and flying all over the place.
She reaches you and sticks out her hand, giving you a smile. "Here, miss." She smiles.
You keep your straight face and lazily grasp the thin stick with your fingers, sending her a very quiet 'thank you' and allowing her to skip back to her beloved parents.
With that, they leave you behind and begin heading home, their little girl swinging between their arms through loud laughs and giggles.
You keep your saddened eyes on the treat and thickly swallow nothing before dropping it to the ground and turning around, walking away with a tight throat.
As you walk away, you quickly throw up your guard and recall that you're here on a mission. So you shut off your thoughts and mindlessly wander the village, looking for any clues about your mother.
Not many stores or booths are open. Only a few small clubs and pubs.
Although you don't exactly want to go into any considering you know how it'll play out; There will be drunk men who offer to buy you a drink. When you refuse, they'll get angry.
But luckily those plans go in the trash when you glance to the side and see a couple of figures in the shadows of an alley. They immediately cause suspicions so you change your path and twist on your heels, approaching them.
As you walk up, they seem to be convulsed in their own conversation but shut their mouths when they see you. Not suspicious at all.
Not only that, but they both have Mist headbands on, something that really catches your attention.
"Do you need something?" A girl snaps as she watches you lean on the wall of the opposite side of the alley.
You shake your head and wave your hand at them. "Nothing, you guys just seem like an interesting couple."
The guy next to her raises his lip and rolls his eyes. "Her? And me? I'd rather kill myself."
Well then-
The man has a big beard and is about a foot or so taller than you. Meanwhile, the girl is about your height and has similar hair to you.
"So, what are we all talking about?" You throw on your pretty smile and make your eyelids a bit heavy, creating a certain facial expression that's proven to work in the past to pull information that you want.
Well, most of the time at least.
"Can you, like, not flirt with my boyfriend. Thanks." The girl snaps at you. Your pretty persona falls and you look at her funny, not bothering to throw on a poker face. "He just-"
"Who even are you? Ugly bitch." The man snarks.
It falls dead silent and your jaw drops, a huge smile spread on your face.
You aren't exactly sure what reaction he was looking for but you break out into a peal of heavy laughter and slap your hand over your mouth, tears threatening to spill from your eyes from how hard you're laughing.
The guy's expression falls and he blankly looks at you, visibly upset with your reaction.
After a few seconds, you collect yourself and adjust your posture, keeping on your smile. "I'm not flirting with... that. Besides, I know someone much better looking." You say, thinking of Kakashi, his face making your cheeks slightly red.
The girl's face drops and she crinkles her nose. "Again, who are you, and why are you here?" She growls.
You mock surrender and put your hands up. "No reason. Just bored and looking for something to do." You lie. They both go quiet and squint their eyes, pursing their lips as they harshly judge you.
It falls dead silent between all of you and you start getting impatient. No words are being said by these two people and the more you stare, the more you feel like they have no information.
Suddenly you hear footsteps from the end of the alley and look over to see a young child with a hoodie on.
They seem to be around five or six. Their eyes are glued to the floor and the hood casts a shadow over his face. In all reality, they look more like a silhouette than an actual visible person.
But as soon as they take one step into the alley and glance up at you, they flip around and scurry away.
"Nice talk." You quickly leave the people behind you and follow the child.
Usually, you wouldn't have thought much of it. But the kid seemed kind of lost as to where they were going and it's much too dark for them to be alone this late.
And children that seem to need help automatically make you drawn to them because... well, there's no need for an explanation on that.
You turn out of the alley and come of a jog, making your way beside the child. As soon as they see you they start sprinting and running faster, keeping a low profile.
What the hell?
They don't get far before they trip over nothing and faceplant onto the cold, hard ground.
You hear as they break out into quiet cries and try to stand to their feet. But when they do; their knees give out and they fall back down, wincing in pain and grasping their wrist.
You're quick to walk over to carefully approach them. When you do, you can tell that it's a young boy by the sound of his cries.
"Hi," You softly greet as you crouch down in front of him. He makes no effort to respond and instead tries to stand again, crying in pain when he does and falls back down.
"Can I see your cut?" You question, looking at his face although you still can't see anything other than his strands of silver hair that fall over his eyes, a thick hoodie also casting a shadow over his face.
The boy erratically shakes his head. But still, ignoring his protest, you slowly bring your hand to his calf and extend it forward so you can see what's wrong.
There's a harsh gash on his knee that makes you frown. It's deep and bloody— the rocks below him leaving indents in his pale skin.
"Here, I can help." Quickly unwrapping one of the bandages around your ankles, you support his leg and start bandaging up his knee. "Make sure you wash this off when you go home, okay? And rewrap it when you're done. It'll help with any infections."
The boy pulls his hood lower and wipes away his tears. "W-who are you?" He murmurs extremely quietly.
You find yourself melting inside at the sound of his voice. Not because he's a child, or because it's the voice of a child. But something— something you've never experienced— opens inside of your heart.
This random child just made you feel whole again.
Suddenly, you see a flash of white and you lightly gasp. But just as fast as it came, it's gone and an odd warmth appears around your eyes. It emulates the feeling as if a warm washcloth were laid over your eyes.
But you ignore the feeling and look back up to the boy once you finish wrapping his knee.
"I'm Y/N, a ninja from the Village Hidden in the Leaf. I only want to help you, I can walk you home if you'd like." You say as you give him a sweet, genuine smile.
The boy tenses up and he starts trembling a bit. "Y-Y/N?" He questions.
You nod your head and brush your hair behind your ear. "That's my name, don't wear it out."
He then lifts his head to look at your face and gasps. The top half of his face is still covered by the hoodie that casts a shadow so you can't see anything above his nose. But to your surprise, he harshly shoves you away and runs away.
Before you can even stand up he's gone and you're just left sitting on the road.
And since he's gone, so is that feeling of being whole inside.