"You're here!" A very pregnant Linda McCartney exclaimed as soon as she opened the front door to us. George was holding Nancy and Jules and Dhani were standing either side of him. All three of the kids idolised him, but especially Nancy.
Linda stepped over the threshold and hugged me - or tried to, given that we were both pregnant; she at seven months and me at eight. She squeezed Nancy's cheeks, greeted George and then told Julian and Dhani to go into the kitchen and help themselves to a drink. They raced off but Nancy stayed with George. Linda turned and led us inside, through the house and out again, down some stone steps and then we were finally in the garden. Everybody was already there; Paul was at the barbecue cooking, Ringo and Maureen were sat at the patio table, drinks in their hands - Maureen was holding their youngest child, Jason, and Linda's daughter, whom Paul had adopted, was running around the garden with Ringo and Maureen's oldest son, Zak.
Shortly after we emerged, Julian and Dhani ran down the steps. I cringed, imagining one of them or the both of them dripping over and hurting themselves - I hated seeing either of them cry.
"Boys!" I called, "be careful!"
They sprinted over to Heather and Zak, and they immediately started playing together. George led the way over to Ringo and Maureen and sat in the seat beside Ringo, he then moved Nancy to sit in his lap.
"Hello, sweet girl." I heard Ringo greet Nancy as I walked past and went straight to Paul.
"Hey," I said to him. Paul put the tongs down and faced me, opening his arms. I hugged him. "Happy birthday."
"And you, Em." He kissed the top of my forehead, "you're the size of a very large watermelon, now." He observed teasingly, looking at my stomach, "baby Harrison keeps getting bigger, eh?"
"Don't you start too," I chided with a smile, "George is convinced there's two -"
"Two?" Paul chuckled, "the amount you two -"
I narrowed my eyes and he cut himself off.
"Umm," he paused, looking back at the steaming meat, "right.. ribs? Sausage?"
I chuckled and turned, going to sit with my husband and our friends. Linda was playing around with Heather and the boys; Zak, Julian and Dhani, so it was just the four of us with Jason and Nancy.
"I'm still going to be godfather, aren't I?"
I bit my lip, nodding at Ringo. "And Mo's going to be godmother -"
"I thought John was coming today?" Maureen interrupted, looking around the garden of 7 Cavendish Avenue as if he would suddenly appear.
I sighed, "he sends his apologies, but he is off with Yoko."
"Oh," Maureen bit her lip, "her."
I nodded, "yeah." I paused, "he came around last week to ask if he could take Dhani and Jules for the weekend; apparently Yoko had her daughter for a few days and he wanted the three of them to meet."
George chuckled, "tell 'em what you told 'im."
George had been very proud of me when I had relayed the story to him. He had been at the studio with Paul and Ringo at the time, but John had neglected to show up to the EMI Studios at Abbey Road that day, and instead had shown up on our doorstep. I had not been happy.
"Dhan! Stop hitting your sister!"
Nancy was screaming. Julian was singing loudly from the music room. My ears were ringing and my head felt as though it was splitting in half.
Somebody knocked at the door and I rolled my eyes. That was all I needed. I was in no mood to entertain company today, and we weren't expecting anybody so I didn't know who it would be.
I went to open the door, and as soon as I saw who was standing on the doorstep, my jaw dropped.
"John?" I exclaimed in disbelief and annoyance.
"Hello, Em luv!" John ducked to kiss my cheek, but I swerved, taking a step back.
"What do you want?" I asked sourly, "I thought you were supposed to be in the studio today?"
"I wanted to come an' see my boys." John pushed past me, looking around the house. "Nice house you got 'ere."
I nodded, "yeah. Thanks. Why are you here?"
"I told you," he looked back at me briefly before leading the way to the living room and taking a seat, "I'm 'ere to see my boys."
"Your boys?" I laughed, raising an eyebrow as I crossed my arms against my chest, "John, you've never done a thing for either of them. George is their dad. He pays for everything; the house, their food, their clothes, their toys and their education. Anything Jules or Dhan ask for, he gets. He treats them no differently than he does Nancy."
"Well they're not his children." John pointed out unkindly.
I sighed and sat down, feeling exhausted, and not entirely because of the existence of the man that I had once thought I had loved. I hoped that the boys and Nancy weren't nearby because I didn't want them hearing the conversation that we were having.
"It doesn't matter whose children they are biologically." I paused, "John, I married George, why can't you accept that?"
"I have, Emeraude." John paused, "I married Yoko, didn't I?"
I shrugged, feeling the baby inside of me kicking. I put a hand absentmindedly over where its little feet protruded from me, and I watched John watch my movements. I knew he was remembering how, once upon a time, it had been Dhani in there - Dhani who I felt constantly, and it had been John who had been at my side, then.
"John, why do you want them now? You haven't come near or by them in the best part of a year. I don't think Dhani even remembers you."
"Yoko's got Kyoko for the weekend, and I want the boys to meet their sister -"
"She's not their sister." I said vehemently. I didn't hate the little girl, I hated her mother. My children would not be going near or by Yoko Ono Lennon as long as I had power over them... even if that meant that they couldn't see John.
"Julian isn't Nancy's brother, but -"
"John, I'd like you to leave." I stood up, "now."
"I don't think -"
"Don't make me call George." I sighed, "or worse, Paul."
I caught the worried look which flashed across John's face, and only somebody who knew him very well would have noticed the momentary lapse in nonchalance which he usually displayed.
"What're they going to do?" He asked, almost in a jeering way. "Serenade me out the door?"
I shrugged, "do you really want to find out?" I asked him, "going by the things I hear about what's happening in the studio, I doubt they'd be very pleasant to you. You're ruining the only good thing that you've all always had, and you'll regret it, John."
John stood up and went into the hallway, heading for the front door. I followed him to make sure that he didn't speak to any of the children if he encountered them on his way out.
He stopped in the middle of the doorway, one hand on the knob and one tucked into the pocket of his jacket. John turned back to me.
"Yoko is the only good thing that I've ever had." And then he closed the door behind him with a final slam.
I was tearing up at the memory, and it was only as Ringo passed me a white cotton handkerchief that I realised it. I thanked him with a smile for the handkerchief, wiped my tears, and then made to pass it back. Ringo held up his hand, stopping me.
"I don't like him around Dhani and Julian," I bit my lip as I looked off at my two boys, "he's into... harder things than LSD and pot, now."
George and Ringo nodded in agreement, "sometimes he comes to the studio with her, and it's like he's somebody completely different."
"I miss the old John." I sighed, "I'd love for Julian and Dhani to know him as he was, then. Y'know, when we were back home, before all of this Beatle nonsense."
George, Ringo and Maureen all nodded in agreement. Nancy was busy teasing the two-year-old Jason, and Jason was busy laughing. Paul and Linda were over by the barbecue chatting together, and the children were playing underneath a tree further down the garden. It was so serene, but I couldn't stop thinking about the person who was missing. The last Beatle.
Before we'd been boyfriend and girlfriend, John and I had been best friends... but we'd never really recovered any sort of relationship after we'd broken up. I still missed him. Constantly.
"Food's done!" Paul called before anybody else could reply to my earlier statement.