If You See Her by LANY is my song for this chapter!! Mention of a fictional ex boyfriend is in here (but it is brief). TOW Ross Finds Out is used in a flashback! (lmk your favourite roschel moments I have a few ideas in inputting them into the story haha)
Jennifer was in the middle of her sentence when David placed his lips on hers. In shock she didn't know what to do. But, with instinct she just kissed him back and for once it wasn't behind their characters. It was them. Yet this feels wrong to her.
"David no." She broke the kiss. "You can't just kiss me like that for what? Because I just told you how I have been feeling? That's your reaction?" Jennifer just looked at him seeing how disappointed he was with himself already, she toned down her voice. "I didn't say all of this for you to kiss me. I want to let go, just like our characters are doing. It's time."
"And what I don't get to say anything?" It was David's turn to speak this time. He is tired of letting her talk and her voice being the one heard when he hasn't even told her anything. Aside from showing it with the kiss.
"You showed it already with that kiss. And did you forget that you have a girlfriend? The woman you told me months ago that you supposedly love. David, you already have confused me enough as it is."
"Can you please just listen to me. For once, I have let you speak for the past two days. I have let you shun me away and yell and cry. But have you ever asked me what I think?" He was right. Jen let her emotions and her decision get into her mind before hearing him out. But what is there left to say? A rejection? A pat on the back okay I'm sorry?
"What do you want David?"
"One dinner. Tonight."
--
Jennifer reluctantly agreed on one dinner for them to talk about it. She didn't want to, but naïve of her think that admitting her feelings to the person would make this all go away. Like everything is that easy. On the drive home she didn't know what to even think about. It felt like just yesterday when everything wasn't this complicated or frustrating. It was simple. It was simple when she had the feelings of Rachel to hide behind.
"So once David grabs the phone and hears the drunken voice mail from Rachel feel free to do what you want to do for that part. Improv it!" David Crane spoke with Jennifer and David in between takes.
"Well no pressure." Jennifer laughed. "Sounds good David, thanks." He nodded and went back to this position next to the crew behind the cameras.
"This is the easy part you know." Schwimmer nudged Jennifer.
"How is this easy?" Jennifer looked at him.
"Just what would you do if the person you have feelings for found out about how you feel over a drunk voice mail?" David asked her.
Jennifer slowly turned red but she managed to cover it by looking like she's in deep thought by closing her eyes and covering her face. David not knowing that he basically asked her how she would react if he were to find out about her crush over a drunken voice mail. How would she react if that's the case?
"See use that fear." David noticed how fearful Jennifer got all of a sudden.
"More like embarrassment." She took her hands off her face. "But, ok I got it."
David made eye contact with the director as Jennifer walked into Rachel's part to recreate the scene. When it came to improvisation, she got onto David's back which took him by surprise his reaction being as genuine as can be.
"You're over me?"
"Oh god." Jennifer went off David's back and closed her eyes still in character.
"Wha.. you're uh you're over me? When were you.. under me?"
Jennifer moved away from David towards the couch in the apartment. This all feels so real somehow to her. This was no longer acting towards her. She was living Rachel's reality. In this reality David has a girlfriend, Christina. Who was in the audience, someone whom she had met before filming started. There was no airport greeting. There was only Jennifer waiting around for David at their usual spot to meet before heading inside and that's when she saw Christina in the car. Minor details in this reality are that her feelings were always one sided (in Jennifer's mind). If anything, this script felt to close to reality that she wondered if the writers knew her feelings for David.
"Oh. Well, basically, lately, I've uh, sort of had feelings for you." She mumbled her lines which looked like a creative decision.
"You've had feelings for me?"
"Yeah, what, so? You had feelings for me first!" Little did Jennifer know David did have feelings for her first.
Jennifer wondered what was going on in David's mind during that filming. She wondered about many things that she can ask him later. At the dinner he had insisted to have but she posed the decision to have it her place. Jennifer can agree to many things but having a dinner with someone she is trying painfully to get over at the house where he lives with his girlfriend? That is too much even for her.
She questioned her decision to confess her feelings for David. Truthfully there was something about the scene and the position they are in that compelled her to do so. He was just there and everything she wished she could say to him was written for her to say as Rachel to Ross. Except the only thing missing was the factor of her unsaid feelings. Until now. David is just always there. Regardless he always is from the start three years ago. It was simple when all I had to come home to was my dog and not my thoughts. Jennifer thought.
--
"Are you sure it's alright for me to come with you for filming?" Christina asked David in the car minutes away from Warner Brothers.
"Of course, people bring their partners all the time I want you to meet everyone." He smiled at his girlfriend.
"I'm actually terrified to meet Jennifer Aniston." Christina confessed awkwardly laughing.
David tried his best to maintain from having a reaction. "W-Why?" His voice faltered a bit.
"Well first of she's Rachel Green and you're Ross Geller. That's one thing. And of course, bubs, she's practically your best friend. You talk so highly of her and how you two are so close she's the closest cast member to you right? I don't want to give off a bad impression to her. Especially they probably think you're focused more on this relationship than your job. You've been flying back and forth between cities. I know that will change when I move but... Besides the point, I just don't want her to hate me. I don't want any of them too."
"Sweetie, they won't hate you." David refused to mention how the cast and crew still think he had been fixing the remainder of his things in New York think that was the reason why he had been visiting frequently. This is true but not the complete truth. Meeting Christina through a common friend led them to go on a date whilst the finale for season 1 was being filmed. Which led to more dates during the break.
Finally reaching the studios caused more stress for David than normal. In fact, on normal days, he never had any stress going to work. It was always lighthearted. Except now. Seeing Jen waiting for him at the parking spots added onto this. Noting that he saw her smile fade as she noticed someone else in his car.
"She's here already?"
"Tradition. Someone usually comes early out of the two of us and grabs the cast coffee."
"Oh, I didn't know that."
"Been like this for three years."
Getting out of the car he went up to Jen and gave her a kiss on the cheek and a hug like normal. On instinct she just gave him his coffee.
"Who's with you?"
"Christina."
"Christina." She repeated almost with a questioning tone just when the woman in question got out of the car and stood next to David.
"Nice to meet you." This woman smiled extending her hand which Jennifer took.
"Jen."
"Christina." They shook hands which was probably the most awkward sight that David has seen. Thankfully his girlfriend's phone rang that caused her to step away for a moment. For once he was thanking her job for pulling her away.
"Is she your.."
"Girlfriend." David finished which caught Jennifer by surprise.
"Your girlfriend."
"I wanted her to meet everyone, kinda like how everyone meets other people's partners you know?"
"Right." Jennifer nodded. "She's watching us film this episode?"
"She is. I mentioned it to Marta a few days ago."
"Interesting, well then maybe she can be next to Lisa's husband he's coming today."
David could sense the awkwardness in Jennifer's tone. "Is anyone else bringing people? How about you? Um... what was his name, Nathan?" As if David didn't remember him. Of course, he did, it was the middle of the first season when Jennifer was in position, he was in. Jennifer was showing him around the studio.
"We broke up a few months ago." Jennifer mentioned.
"You did."
"Yea, we both didn't see it going long term you know. So, what was the point." She shrugged. "I'll go inside now but it was nice meeting your new girlfriend."
Just like that Jennifer walked inside the doors of Stage 24 and Christina finished her phone call. Everything still spinning. Every reason for bringing Christina on set after only a month of dating flew out of his mind. But it was too late as Courteney, Matt and Matthew's cars approached.
David remembered that moment so well. He was stupid for doing that. Not for only bringing his girlfriend on set but for bringing her on the day that Ross and Rachel had their first real kiss on screen. Which caused a small fight later that evening between them. What was his reason for doing that? To show Jennifer that he had found someone? But in his mind she was dating too. So was his purpose to move on? Now look where that has gotten him. An empty house in LA.
--
"Lisa I really don't need—" Jennifer picked up her phone lazily. Now on her bed immediately already in comfortable clothes after the day that has happened.
"It's Matty." Matthew Perry said on the other side. "Same my name too!" A voice said in the back. "And Matt."
"Sorry. Lisa usually calls after taping."
"It's alright. Can you open the door though?"
This caught Jennifer's attention. "The door."
"Your front door."
"My front door."
"I would doorbell but I think that would just cause Norman to bark and you seemed pretty tired after filming so I didn't know if you were sleeping or not."
"Yea no, I'll be right down."
The two boys hardly visited her by themselves it was usually accompanied by a problem or with everyone else. So this change in events caused her to rethink. David couldn't have sent them right? Shaking her head which always seemed to go to the worst now, Jennifer opened her door to see the two.
"Listen, we'll be quick." Matthew said. "Hear David out tonight."
"So he did tell you both to come here.."
"No no he didn't. We just heard you two back at work.." Matt answered.
"Guys thank you seriously but this is just between David and I at this point. To be honest I don't even know why this is happening and I caused all of this so it's our or my mess to clean up and sort out. Don't get involved." Jennifer looked at a guilty looking Matthew Perry. "Honey seriously it's okay if you leave us to it."
"I knew." Matthew said out loud.
"What?"
"I knew he also had feelings for you. Back two years ago I knew but I didn't want to meddle into anything and you were with Nathan at the time." Matthew sighed. "I know it's your business but trust me listen to what David has to say. For once forget that he's dating someone because he felt the exact same way when you were dating. I can see it in your eyes you view it as a timing problem or fate or what have you. But, David? He didn't view it like that. So please, listen to him."
"So, you did know!" Matt interrupted but his friends ignored.
"Matty.."
"Jenny.."
"Ok I'll go easy on the guy."
"Thank you."
--
Matthew saw David introducing his new girlfriend to everyone and he just couldn't believe his friend in this moment. How can he just do that? Is he really that oblivious or is he just wanting to shove it in Jennifer's face unintentionally?
"Hey David?" He went up to David putting his hand on his shoulder. "Can I talk to you for a minute."
"Yea sure." David excused himself and walked off with Matthew to the opposite end of the sets. "What's up?"
"Are you god damn stupid?" Matthew slapped his arm. "A girlfriend?"
"Christina? Yes, my girlfriend."
"What happened to telling Jen?"
"I- uh. I can't I just decided to move on with it you know?"
"It is taking everything in me right now not to punch you." Matthew said confidently. "Just yesterday you and Jen were acting like a couple on set? You two were play fighting and chasing each other around? David help me understand you right now."
"She doesn't need to know Matty. Really, we can just save whatever chemistry we have into our on-screen relationship."
"So you were scared."
"That's not what I'm saying. I am not her type okay? What we have on set is chemistry, a friendship and just it's great."
David recalled that conversation he had with Matthew a year ago. His fear and the truth of not wanting to tell Jennifer. One was their jobs would get even more complicated. They get asked about each other enough has it is. The other would be his insecurity of never being good enough for her. Sure, she flirts with him on set but that could easily just be them on stage 24. Then the hidden third reason he hasn't told Jennifer. The main reason as to why he was the one to initiate the pact between them of not getting reality confused with the show.
Pulling up to Jennifer's house he didn't know how this could happen. Albeit it is primary his fault and he is aware. He did kiss her. But the opportunity was right there and he wanted to. Just for once forget that they're part of some industry that shines the light on off screen romances until they fall apart. To just for once not kiss each other as their characters but as themselves. Even then it seemed like trouble because he didn't even think, he just did it. It was wrong but it felt right.
Ringing the doorbell, he heard Norman's barks on the other side and Jen's attempt to calm him down. It was as if in that moment everything he had prepped to say to her all the apologies and the explanations went out of his head. As soon as Jennifer opened the door he forgot.
"Sorry I already started to make pasta I wasn't sure what the plan was really." Jennifer apologized as David sat himself down on a stool near the counter.
"There really isn't a plan. I just want to talk." David said honestly.
"Well talk." Jennifer encouraged although her back was turned.
"As we eat."
"If you want that."
--
Jennifer Aniston and David Schwimmer have never been awkward in front of each other. That's not how they work. They always have been comfortable; some might say a little too comfortable. Always going into each other's dressing rooms. Fixing each other's clothes. Getting coffee. Always comforting each other. Except now. The two sat on opposite ends of the table with food in front of them however the only noise being heard was Norman.
"David, I didn't agree just so we can eat opposite each other in silence. You asked for this." Jennifer spoke coldly. She is trying her best not to bring her wall down like he always seemed to make her do. She is trying not to be too stone cold since she told Matthew she would give him a chance to speak. Even before David arrived, she kept repeating in her mind that this talk will be her closure. The thing she needs to move on from David and just focus on their working relationship and perhaps even salvage a little of their friendship. If that was possible.
"What did you admit to me today. About leaving your feelings for me. What was that about?"
"It means exactly that, I need to leave anything other than friendship with you behind me."
"You had feelings for me."
"For almost three years David. You didn't notice that?" Jennifer sighed. "We aren't talking about me though. You said back at work that I have never let you speak so this is what I'm doing. I'm letting you speak." She took a pause and looked at him. "Why did you kiss me?"
"Because I've been wanting to do that since I had feelings for you." This took Jennifer by surprise. So Courteney was right. "Ever since the taping of the first season we've always been different. Our friendship has always been different."
"Feelings. For me?"
"Everyone knew on set Jen, didn't you?"
"How could I know? You never said anything to me!" She increased the volume of her voice.
"I wanted to! But when I was going to I saw that you had a boyfriend, Nathan." Nathan. Her last boyfriend in an attempt to get over David. Attempt being loosely since her friend set them up after she kept saying Jennifer needed to get back into the dating scene. "Then other things got in the way. It was like everything just kept getting stacked against what I wanted to do. We just became like two ships passing each other. No matter what I wanted to do I just couldn't. A-And I had no idea how you felt. I had no chances to ask."
"You had every chance to ask. We are together five days a week David. I'm no different than you trust me but from the moment you initiated that pact from the first day of the second season I knew I couldn't tell you. Why else would you say that to me David?"
The pact. Out of all the things he wanted to say that he forgot as soon as Jennifer opened the door, he knew he couldn't forget that. The stupid pact he initiated on the first day. All because of one person.
"All of this. I'm just slowly realizing is all because of that stupid pact you told me. Of course, I agreed. Stupidly, but I agreed because it made sense. Even if I had these feelings for you, I still agreed. Because that is how you saw me, as someone who was just your best friend. Why did you say that?"
The head director came up to David in the middle of filming the first episode of Season 2. Jim Burrows requested to talk to him for professional reasons which scared him.
"David." Jim looked at him seriously. "Listen, I told the six of you from the start to take care of each other in this journey as the show progresses right?"
"You did right before we flew to Las Vegas."
"I never got to talk to any of you about relationships happening between everyone." That stopped David. "David, do you like Jennifer?"
"Of course I do, she's amazing."
"Not like that come on." David didn't reply. "I know. Even if you don't admit it I can see it between you two. Dating your on screen costar that has been proven to be difficult and dangerous for chemistry."
"We're not going to be in a relationship." David reassured him. Knowing then that his feelings were potentially one sided. Nothing else would happen after all he knew at the time that Jennifer was in a relationship.
"How can you be sure?"
"I'm sure Jimmy, it's me why would Jennifer Aniston like me?" Which was true. He believed that truthfully.
"Just be one hundred percent. I hate to see this chemistry for the two of you be ruined in case a relationship breaks apart."
He had never told anyone about why the pact existed. The other four actors laughed at how stupid that pact was. No one can tell anyone else how to feel or to stop feelings. David thought the pact made sense at the time. Jennifer was in a relationship and he wanted to move on from her to save potentially their chemistry. That aspect of the Hollywood industry that controls the actors was a hidden part of the job. The part that no one talked about. Sadly, what David let them come towards. It was as if the industry was controlling how he felt and with his own insecurities and fears he let it happen. Because in his mind how can anyone like Jennifer Aniston like someone like him?
"Do you remember our head director?"
"Of course I do, Jimmy."
"We had a conversation and he basically told me to make that pact with you. So it wouldn't what we have. You know how on screen chemistry is rare to find. We were heading into the Ross and Rachel arc and anything can change that. Saying my feelings for you could change that."
"Not saying it at all then initiating that pact.. Did that do anything but make this worse?" Jennifer paused once again. "Regardless you did that."
"This is all my fault now?"
"I'm not saying that David. I'm saying that you could have done something or maybe talked to me about it?"
"How can I?"
"David. How can I not like you? What made you think that?"
"Other than that you're Jennifer Aniston?"
"And you're David Schwimmer!" Jennifer never realized it like how he's putting it right now. "How could I not develop some sort of feelings for you?"
"I expected you to be yelling right now."
"The night is still young, and we're just getting started David."
--
What seemed like it would be a dramatic talk between two friends who happened to have feelings for each other is now the time where they are laying everything out on the table. From the pact to why they didn't tell each other why they had crushes on one another. It was time for them to stop keeping that hidden. Even if it took them three years to come to their senses.
Now onto their wine bottles and sitting on the couch it became more natural and casual. Even if they forgot the things left to speak on was their kiss and Christina.
"You know when I thought about how we might have our first kiss.."
"You thought about that?"
"Well being sad seeing the guy you like go on dates your mind wanders you know?" She tried to make a joke of it but David can see the sadness in her eyes. "I always thought that it would be a bummer if we had our first kiss on screen. Which we did. But I never thought that the first time I would kiss you not in character is after an episode as emotional as the one we just filmed. I never thought you would be in a relationship. Which we still have forgotten to acknowledge." David bowed his head. "Even if I have these feelings for you. I said that I need to get over this. Because you have a girlfriend." She stood up. "And I don't want to be the one to break you two up. You love her. And who knows maybe me telling you my feelings was a mistake."
"A mistake."
"We need to both let this go for the sake of your relationship."
Hearing those words caused David to stand up right in front of Jen. "You said that you didn't want this to ruin what we have right?"
"I meant the episode. But I didn't know it would cause this much behind the scenes. What we have I don't think it will be the same now. And I'm sorry if my fear caused that to happen. My fear of not wanting to lose you caused this."
"Do you still have feelings for me?"
"Do you have feelings for me?" Jennifer asked back.
Just holding their gaze that's when Jennifer stepped forward and kissed him this time. There was no thought of Ross or Rachel. No one watching. It was in the privacy of Jennifer's home it wasn't due to the feelings on set. But instead of their feelings for each other. But being the one to initiate it Jennifer also was the one to stop it.
"No. God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She bowed her head. "It's like when I look at you I don't know. I forget that the timing with us is never on our side. But, you have a girlfriend and I just kissed you."
"Jennif—"
"I think you should go now."
"Jennifer."
"We need to accept this. Or rather I need to. And to answer your question about my feelings? I do. I do still like you. But it's all too late right?"
"Is it?"
--
Driving home from Jennifer's house and the talk that they had he called up Matthew.
"Yup?" Matthew answered.
"Ok you're right, I don't love Christina. I like Jennifer."
"And it took Ross and Rachel to break up for you to realize this?"
Hi again, ok clearly the whole pact thing is just something for the story that did not happen in real life it was just something I made up for the story to go along ok hope you enjoyed (: