AN:
Hi guys, this is a quick update. Before you read this chapter, please make sure that you've read Chapter 32 - Be Mine.
And I want to say thank you for being on this journey with #Lunax.
My chest is heaving up and down as I stare at Luna sitting at the bleacher. She's staring at me, but she still doesn't say any word.
Goddammit. I just asked her to be my girlfriend in front of the entire school.
Victory for winning the game has never tasted better, but I must admit that I'm crazy, because all the eyes on this football field are now on us.
People are holding their breaths, waiting for her answer.
My heart is thumping wildly. Will she say yes?
I've done my best to make her favorite scene come true. This is cheesy, I know, but nothing can stop me from showing her that this kind of moment belongs to her.
Fuck. I just want to see that smile on her face.
Luna stands up, and I notice how her eyes look glassy. Are they happy tears?
Damn, my anxiety is killing me. My heart isn't in a healthy state to cooperate right now.
My stupid mind is waiting for a cue for me to run up the bleacher and kiss her.
Luna walks down the bleacher, and my heart beats faster the closer she approaches me. To my amazement, our audience is silent too, I'm starting to think that they can feel how anxious I am.
But then, as soon as Luna comes down from the bleacher, she rushes into the building, leaving me dumbfounded.
Stunned.
Frozen.
You name it.
The crowds begin to murmur, and frantic whispers echo in my ears, snapping me back into reality. My legs move, chasing Luna into the building, even when I don't remember moving them.
And there she is, standing in the deserted area in front of the football team's locker room. I pant, watching her, whose back is still facing me.
"Luna," I call, and when she turns around, I lose the ability to breathe.
She has tears in her eyes, but judging from the sadness crossing her expression, they're not happy tears. My heart sinks, and panic begins to build up inside me.
I know the first words that should come out of my mouth. "I'm sorry."
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. What the fuck have I done?
"I'm sorry, Luna," I rasp. "Did I make a mistake?"
Luna lets out a shaky breath, and for a split second, I think that she's going to burst into tears. "Why did you have to do that?" she snaps angrily, shocking me.
Wait.
I can't respond to her words right away.
I need a moment.
To say that I'm shocked to see her glare would be an understatement. She has never looked at me in such a way, and I've never heard her raise her voice like that.
The truth comes crashing down on me like a ton of bricks.
She hates it. She hates what I just did.
"But I thought you'd like it," I say. "You told me--" The realization suddenly hits me like thunder, and I feel like a complete idiot. "Fuck, I should have known better."
I should have known that public confession was exactly what Tyler did, and it didn't end well for her. I shouldn't have made her reminded of that.
What was I doing? I wasn't thinking clearly.
To make it worse, the entire school is now fussing over what's happening, and Luna doesn't like that.
Luna's eyes are still glistening with tears, and I step closer to her. "I'm sorry, I'm such a fool. Let's get you out of here, okay?" I grab her hand, but she snaps my hand off, startling me.
"No," she cries, panic skating all over her face. She looks afraid, but afraid of what?
Me?
"Why would I want to go anywhere with you?" Her voice is shaking, and those words feel like bullets to me.
I don't know what to say. I don't even know what I just heard. My mind is messing with me.
"Luna?" I whisper.
"We should stop this." Her voice is firm now, her jaw tight.
I'm too shocked to form any words, so I can only look at her in question.
But then, I realize that I have to use my fucking brain to speak to her. "Stop what? What are you talking about?"
"This." She gestures at both of us. "Me, and you. We should end this."
I freeze again, trying to ignore how my heart breaks even worse with every second passing by.
"Why?" My voice is barely a whisper, and I can't hide the pain in it. "We were just beginning."
I don't know what the hell is wrong. Why is she suddenly acting like this?
"You're wrong," Luna says in a firm tone, her eyes piercing me. They are cold as she glares at me -- they feel like a stab to my soul. "You're confusing the whole situation, Max. What were you thinking when you made such a confession in front of the whole school?" she snaps again.
I clench my jaw and ball my fist. "Confusing the whole situation?" I snap back, matching her angry tone. "What about our kiss? Was it nothing to you? Don't tell me that you didn't feel anything when we kissed, because I fucking know that you did."
Luna tilts her chin up, and more tears fill her eyes, which also burn with anger. "That kiss meant nothing to me," she says, and I feel like my heart stops beating.
I stare at her in disbelief, and the pain from the lump in my throat becomes unbearable.
"As I said, you were wrong," she says coldly. "Do you want to hear the truth, Max?"
I want to say no, but no sound leaves my throat, because it's too fucking painful to speak.
"I was only using you to be at the top again," she says, her whole body shaking because of all the emotions eating her. "And it works. But this has gone too far. I must admit that I played with your feelings too much."
My heart shatters into a million pieces.
What did she say?
She was using me?
No, Luna wouldn't say something like that.
"You don't mean that." My voice is shaking -- I can't hide the pain anymore. My gut tells me that she's lying, but now that I stare at her, she doesn't even waver one bit. My jaw tightens as I grab her shoulders, looking her in the eyes. "What the hell happened? Tell me what happened, Luna," I demand. There must be something wrong.
Luna pushes me with all the power she has, making me stumble back and sway due to the shock.
"How many times do I have to tell you, Max?" she hisses. "You mean nothing to me."
I swallow as my throat hurts so bad. It's better to take countless physical blows than to hear those words from her.
"It was fun, but now it's just too much." She looks at me with bloodshot eyes. "Leave me alone, Max."
I watch as she turns her back at me to walk away, and my hands shake uncontrollably as I grip my chest, slumping against the locker. I can barely feel my heart beating.
Luna abruptly halts when she's about to turn around the corner, and that's because she notices that other students have been eavesdropping.
Whispers echo around us, and just like that, she's gone.