songs in this chapter:
Ship in a Bottle by fin
This is Love by Air Traffic Controller
The meeting with Marlene was scheduled for Wednesday at 2 pm which meant that at 1:15 pm, Remus was desperately going through his closet trying to find the outfit with just the right mix of professional and personality. Every sweater he owned was thrown all over his bed, sp he eventually gave up and called James.
"What the hell are we wearing?" Remus asked as soon as the line connected.
There was a laugh distantly on the other end that sounded suspiciously like Sirius' but James answered him, "Well Peter is wearing his work suit. I am just wearing a white button-up and some black slacks. Sirius on the other hand is refusing to wear anything but his ripped black jeans and leather jacket - "
"Hey," Sirius' voice cut in, "I look damn good and I won't change my style for anyone." Remus heard a long-suffering sigh come from James, but Sirius continued speaking, "Honestly, Remus, just wear anything. You always look great."
Remus had no idea what to do with that compliment so he just looked at his pile of clothes once again. He had a button-up from when he used to do job interviews; it might work. "Okay," Remus said, "I'll see you guys there."
"See you, Remus!" Sirius shouted into the phone and then there was James' voice saying his goodbyes.
Remus showed up to Phoenix Records at 1:50 wearing black jeans, a button-up, and a comfy sweater. (Ostensibly because it was cold, but in reality, it was because he needed support if he was going to get through this meeting). He met up with the rest of the Marauders and they walked inside the giant glass building.
The lobby was enormous, with wide-open windows, modern sculptures, and a waterfall wall that was at least twenty feet high. Everyone was wearing business suits or professional-looking dresses. Remus felt immediately out of place and started fidgeting with his sleeves.
"Relax," Sirius said quietly beside him, "You look cute. Marlene will love you." Remus let out a shaky breath and gave Sirius a small smile.
"Thanks," he said back. "You look great too."
"I always do, Remus," he said and then the four of them made their way to the receptionist's desk.
There was a young woman sitting behind the counter who straightened up immediately when she spotted them. "Hey, Sirius," she said in a low voice. "It's been a minute."
Remus watched Sirius' face. There was not a trace of recognition in it, but if there was one thing Sirius Black could do, it was flirt. "Hey, love," he said as he leaned over the counter, "Yeah, it's been far too long."
The woman smiled. "So what are you doing here?"
"My band and I have a meeting with Marlene McKinnon."
The girl turned back to her computer and started typing rapidly. "The Marauders?"
Sirius flashed a grin, "That's us."
"She's on the fifteenth floor. Room 1510. I'll let her know you're on your way."
"Thank you, love," Sirius said and then leaned in close to her, "text me." Remus resisted the urge to roll his eyes.
Once they were in the elevator, Sirius was standing against the wall with a self-satisfied smirk.
"How do you do that?" Peter asked.
"I don't know what to tell you, Pete. Some of us just have charm." He locked eyes with Remus and winked. Remus refused to unpack whatever the hell that meant.
"Leave some girls for the rest of us, won't you?" James said.
Sirius was saved from answering by the opening of the elevator doors. The four of them navigated through the winding hallways until they reached room 1510. The door was open, but James still knocked politely.
Marlene looked up, "Oh hello boys. Come in and close the door behind you."
The four of them sat down across from Marlene. She sat at a large desk filled with papers and photographs of different bands. Behind her were large glass windows that only fed into Remus' intimidation.
"So, this is the Marauders," she said.
"That's us," James replied, only a little bit of nerves in his voice.
"Tell me about each of you. What you play, how you all know each other, all that."
"Well, I'm James Potter. I am the lead singer and I sometimes play guitar. I grew up with Peter Pettigrew," he gestured to Peter, "who plays keys and then I met Sirius Black at school, he's the drummer, and the three of us became friends."
"Sirius Black," Marlene interrupted, "Any relation to Black Banks?"
"That's my family's company," he said with only a bit of tension.
"So Orion Black, is that your father?"
"Yes," Sirius said. He wasn't one to normally give such short answers.
"And you want to be a rockstar? Surprising."
"Yeah, well. I'm full of surprises." From his tone, it was clear Sirius did not want to speak about this. Marlene didn't back down though.
"Don't give me an attitude," Marlene said sharply. "You think I'm going to be the only person asking that question? If you hadn't noticed the music industry is full of judgmental assholes." Remus wanted to laugh but he held it in. Marlene may be intense but at least she was honest. "People are going to look at you and look at all that money and a life set out for you and wonder why the hell you chose music."
She then turned her attention to Remus, "Same with you. What's your name again?"
"Remus Lupin. I play bass."
"How'd you get those scars, Remus?" she asked pointedly. There was clear tension in the room and Sirius looked like he was three steps away from murdering someone. But Remus wasn't worried. He got these questions all the time.
"Oh, I was mauled by a werewolf, you see," Remus replied casually.
Marlene gave him an amused look. "Really?"
"Yeah, don't go on moonlit walks in the woods. I apologize in advance if the full moons interfere with the band's schedule."
Marlene full-on laughed, but then said, "Really though, what happened?"
"Accident when I was a kid," Remus said with a smile. "Can't even remember it, actually." There was one gift that came from these scars, Remus was an excellent liar.
Marlene smiled. "That's how you answer an uncomfortable question. Take notes, Mr. Black." Sirius looked at Remus with an unreadable expression. "You all should be prepared for all kinds of intrusiveness. If you make it big, people won't think anything about you is off-limits."
"You think we could make it big?" James asked.
"Sure," Marlene said. "Your music is good - catchy, yet interesting. I especially liked that last song you played at the bar. It had heart. Not to mention that you're all attractive young men. If you play your cards right, you could have something here."
James leaned in, "How should we play our cards?"
"Well, if I were your manager, I would suggest an album. We record it here and then while it's being mastered, you go on tour. Mostly small gigs, drum up a bit of interest. Drop the album halfway through. If it does well, we continue the tour. Then you make another album."
"So you'll be our manager then?" James asked.
"I would like to be," Marlene said, "But it's not only up to me. There's a whole team of other people you need to convince. I want you to record a demo. Show them why they should care. Give me five of your best songs by next week."
"A week?" Peter asked.
"Is that an issue?" Marlene had a raised eyebrow and Sirius was shooting him daggers.
"No, not at all," Peter said.
"Great. I expect it in my email by 9 am next Wednesday. I will give you a call then."
-
The walk back to the car was silent as they all processed the interview. Finally, once they were all seated, Sirius said, "Five songs."
"I know," James said.
"How can we possibly choose?"
"And how are we going to get the songs recorded in time?" Peter asked.
Remus just watched as they all argued over song titles, yet Remus didn't feel an ounce of stress. The upside to being the new guy was that no one asked you your opinion.
"Are you guys good if we go back to our apartment to hash this out?" Sirius asked them. Peter nodded vigorously.
"Yeah, that's fine. I don't have to work today," Remus replied and Sirius gave him a bright smile which Remus tried his best not to think about.
20 minutes later, they arrived at James' and Sirius' apartment. Wasting no time, Sirius brought out four beers and James was already pacing circles around the room. Peter had disappeared into Sirius' room and came back with a keyboard that he placed on the kitchen table.
"Do you mind if I use this?" Remus asked Sirius, gesturing to a guitar hanging on the wall.
"Go ahead," Sirius said as he handed Remus a beer and sat next to him on the couch. Remus began strumming. "I didn't know you played guitar."
Remus started adjusting the key on the guitar as he answered, "Yeah, it's easier to write on than the bass."
"You write songs?" Sirius asked to which Remus simply nodded. There was a whole couch yet Sirius chose to sit with his knees touching Remus'. Remus added it to his list of things to ignore about Sirius Orion Black. "Can I hear one?" Sirius' voice was so gentle that it was almost a whisper.
Remus glanced at him. "Aren't we supposed to be narrowing songs down, not adding more?"
"Please?" Sirius asked, "Just for me." Everything in Remus' body was telling him to get out now before he fell headfirst into the enigma that is Sirius Black.
But instead, Remus just started playing a song. It was an old favorite of his, one he had written about a fling he had years ago.
You can fit everything you know
In a bottle for you to show
He had a kind of friends with benefits thing that they both knew but refused to admit was more than just that. Seeing as he had no idea what the fuck was going on between him and Sirius now, it felt appropriate.
This is all your own battle to win
This is your ship and you are the captain
Remus didn't dare look at Sirius as he sang it. He focused his mind purely on not fucking up the lyrics, though Remus knew he could play this in his sleep.
Oh, captain, let's make a deal
Where we both say the things that we both really feel
As Remus continued through the song, he noticed that the apartment had gotten a lot quieter. Whatever James and Peter had been arguing about before had clearly resolved.
I feel scared and I'm starting to sink
And I only sink deeper the deeper I think
It wasn't until the end of the song that Remus looked up and saw that not only Sirius but James and Peter were staring at him too.
"Holy shit," Sirius breathed.
"Remus, what the fuck was that?" James almost shouted. "You didn't tell me you could sing! Or play guitar!"
Remus just shrugged, "You never asked."
"Did you write that?" Peter asked.
"Yeah, a few years ago."
"Remus Whatever-Your-Middle-Name-Is Lupin, I could kiss you right now," James said.
Remus laughed lightly, "Thanks, but you're not really my type."
"Do you have any other secret talents we don't know about?"
"I also play piano a bit and the drums," Remus said looking between them. He wasn't used to so much attention on him. "And I can juggle."
"Damn, Lupin," Sirius said. "Leave something for the rest of us."
"We should add that song to the demo," James said with finality.
"But isn't that cutting it a bit close?" Peter asked. "No offense, Remus. I love the song but we're on a deadline."
"Fuck the deadline," Sirius said. "Those three minutes were better than half the shit we've come up with."
Which is how Remus found himself teaching the Marauders how to play his song, Ship in a Bottle, every day for the next week. He wasn't as much as a perfectionist as James was, preferring to let everyone riff on it a bit and add whatever felt right to them.
As he watched Peter experiment on the keys or found the harmonies with James, it started to feel like he was actually a part of the Marauders, even if just for a little bit.
He especially liked what Sirius did with his song. It felt like he perfectly understood what he was trying to say, and more than that, he always played it like it was the only thing that mattered to him. "I can't fail," Sirius had said to him that night at the gig. He sure played like that was true.
-
Halfway through the week of their nonstop practice, Remus snuck away for an hour to get lunch with Lily. They met at a cute cafe not far from James and Sirius' apartment.
"God, Remus, it's been far too long," Lily said as she hugged him in greeting. It was just as familiar as it had been when they were fourteen.
"It really has, Lils. Tell me everything."
Lily dived headfirst into a full history of her life since she moved away from Remus. Her dad got a better job and she apparently got a scholarship at some posh secondary school, which is where she met Sirius, James, and Peter.
"What were they like in school?" Remus asked which prompted Lily to roll her eyes.
"They were kind of dicks, if I'm honest. Sirius and James were absolutely inseparable and Peter always did what James did. They pulled these pranks all the time. Some of them were pretty funny, actually, like one time they somehow changed the school announcements to play "Toxic" by Britney Spears in between classes."
Lily was smiling at the fond memory. Remus wished he could've been there and lived that life with them.
"But they could also be such asses. Sirius and James were on the rugby team and all that. This one prank - they put hair dye in the rival's team shampoo and they all had blue hair." Lily was pissed but Remus it was kind of hilarious imagining a bunch of jocks with bright blue hair. "And it was a week before their formal," Lily continued. "Pissed off so many parents, I'm honestly surprised they weren't suspended."
"Why weren't they?" Remus asked.
"Well, Sirius' parents are on the board of governors. They're big donors and everything. I don't think he could've gotten suspended if he tried." Lily paused as if sifting through memories, "Sometimes it did feel like he was trying."
"Yeah, I heard that his family owns a bunch of banks."
"Yup. Old money and all that. Though that family is a nightmare. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Sirius can be a dick, but no one deserves whatever hell he went through."
"Did he talk to you about it?" Remus asked. He got the distinct impression that it was not something Sirius would talk about openly.
"No, we were never close. I don't think he talked about it with anyone besides Potter, but you know, it was a pretty small school. Plus his brother, Regulus, was in the year below us. There were all these whispers about a falling out between them. My friend once saw them argue and it was not pretty. And then there was this rumor that he was practically living with James by the time uni came, not sure if it's true or not."
Lily was silent for a moment, caught up in her memories from school. Remus thought back to that family photo he'd seen in James and Sirius' apartment. It was clearly a family photo. Did he live there or was it just his escape from the Blacks?
"Anyway," Lily said, "how did you meet them?"
"They played at my work one night and asked if they knew anyone who played bass," Remus said, thinking it best to avoid the whole part about them kicking out Snape. Whatever happened, he would like to remain neutral.
"Well, you guys are good. I can tell you that much."
Remus smiled, "Thanks, Lily. I bet James would let you join. We could resurrect The Scholars."
Lily burst out laughing, "Ohmygod, I had completely forgotten about The Scholars." It was the name of the band they started when they were eleven. They were absolutely terrible but it gave them an excuse to hang out.
"We were ahead of the time," Remus said. "Underappreciated."
"No, we were just bad. Our poor parents," Lily laughed. Remus had forgotten how much he'd loved that sound.
"I've missed you, Lils," he said. "More than you know."
"I've missed you too, Remus." He could see Lily looking at his scars, the new ones that hadn't been there when she left. She didn't ask what happened. She knew most of it anyway. She just reached her hand across the table and squeezed Remus' hand. "The full moons must have been pretty rough," she said softly.
"Not that bad anymore," Remus said. "Now that I'm out here on my own." It was their little code, how they talked about what was too terrible to speak aloud. She had been the one to suggest the werewolf thing in the first place. All through school, she'd tell it to anyone, kid or adult, that was rude enough to ask.
"I'm glad it's better now," Lily said. Remus squeezed her hand and then let go.
"Thanks, Lils. Let's talk about your life. Do you have a boyfriend because James seems pretty keen?"
"Ugh. Absolutely not. He's been obsessed with me since we were 15. He literally would always ask me out so obnoxiously at school. It was honestly embarrassing."
"Oh, so he's been harboring this crush for years?"
"Centuries. I don't think he ever even dated anyone else. Not that I think he could've since Sirius snogged almost every girl who looked his way. It would've violated some bro-code probably."
"So Sirius was always this girl-obsessed?" Remus had been trying to figure out how to ask about Sirius without being obvious.
"Yeah. That man is a heartbreaker. I don't know how many girls I've had to hold while they cried tears over that boy. Like I said, asshole."
"Yeah. The band had this meeting with the manager from the show. He clearly had a history with the receptionist."
"Of course, he did. Honestly, I don't know how you hang around them."
"I don't know," Remus said. "I think they're pretty fun. They certainly care a lot about the band and that's all I ask."
"Ugh, men. Well, as long as you're happy."
"I really am, Lils." For once, Remus was telling the truth.
-
That night was yet another band practice. They were working their asses off and the stress was wearing on all of them. James had stopped practice again to explain to Peter for the fourth time how the melody was supposed to go. It took all of Remus' mental energy to try not to internalize their anxiety.
Instead, Remus used this as an excuse to talk to Sirius, who was full-on lying on the concrete ground next to his drums. He could be a very strange man sometimes. Still, Remus laid down next to him and stared up at the cold sky breaking through the caved-in ceiling.
"I got lunch with Lily today," Remus said.
"Don't tell James that. He'll skin you alive."
"He really holds a torch for her, huh?"
"Yup. On the first day of the school year, we were maybe 14/15, James saw her in the halls, turned to me, and said, 'I am going to marry that woman.' It's been his thing ever since."
"Do you think there's any hope for them?"
"There's always hope, Remus." Sirius' eyes had not left the night sky above them. "Anyway, you know Evans better than I do."
"I don't know. She had many things to say about you."
"Is that true?" Sirius asked, amused.
"Yeah. Said you were quite the heartbreaker."
Sirius sighed, "Well, we all gotta have our fun somehow."
Remus didn't have anything to say, so he just remained silent. The night sky was pitch black, only the crescent of the moon and one bright star.
"Why'd you start playing music, Remus?"
"My mom played piano at church so she would teach me on the weekends." He remembered those days quite fondly. Empty rows of pews, tall white walls, afternoon sun, his mother's soft sing-song voice, her hands pressing down on Remus' fingers until he was big enough to play on his own. "It became our thing. And my parents thought it would keep me out of trouble."
"Did it?"
"For a bit. We all grow up at some point."
"That's sweet though," Sirius said. "Your mother sounds nice."
"Yeah, she was." They were silent for a few moments. "Why'd you start?"
Sirius sighed, "Well, my mother was big on classical training. Forced me to play piano since age two. Had this nightmarish teacher, used to slap our wrists with a ruler if we played it wrong. I hated the whole thing, but I liked the music. Once I went to school, I learned the drums because it was the farthest thing from dignified society that I could get."
Remus thought about Sirius at five years old playing piano with stinging red hands. It didn't sound like an environment conducive to a love of music. "Do you still play the piano?" Remus asked.
"Yeah. I mean, when it's drilled in that young, it's practically muscle memory. Probably better than Pete, if we're honest with ourselves. But it was always more of my brother's thing. Plus, it would make my mother way too proud of herself if she saw me do it onstage." After a moment he added, "Not that she would ever come to a show."
Remus remembered what Lily had said. A nightmare, she called them. Remus wondered how deep that went.
"Okay, boys!" James shouted. "One more time!"
Sirius groaned but went back to his drums. Remus strapped on his bass, Sirius counted them in, and they played, and played, and played.
-
By the time the songs were due, Remus was dead on his feet. As much as he enjoyed the band, he still needed to make money, and staying up until 3 am every night was literally killing him.
They had recorded demos of all the songs by Tuesday afternoon, but James was still freaking out. "Can we record Lily's song one more time? It needs to be perfect."
"Sorry, James," Remus said as he packed up his bass, "I have to get to work."
"You can't stay five more minutes?"
"I'm almost late as it is."
"Can we record it after your shift? When do you get off?"
"No, James." Remus persisted. "I have to go."
James was rummaging through his bag and pulled out his wallet, "Look, how much do you make in a shift? I'll pay you to stay." James started pulling out 50, 100-pound notes.
Remus stared at that cash. Of course, James had more money in his pocket than Remus makes in a week. He looked from James to Sirius who - terrible family or no - had $300 shoes on. And who knows how much Peter made in a year at his cushy government job. It was all just a rich boy's game.
James outstretched his palm, filled with cash like it meant nothing to him. He held it as casually as one would hold a stick of chewing gum.
Remus slung his bass over his shoulders. "Fuck you, Potter," he said and went to go catch his train.
As he walked out, he heard Sirius say bitterly, "Way to go, Prongs."
As Remus boarded the crowded tube, he couldn't stop thinking about how much money James held in his hand. He wondered how James would spend his night. Probably in his beautiful apartment, watching TV and making a nice home-cooked meal for him and Sirius.
Did James even have a job? Or Sirius for that matter? They never spoke about it, nor did they ever seem to have any other priorities. Music might be their only lifeline, but Remus still had bills to pay.
So Remus did what he did every night. He clocked in, stored his bass behind the bar, and tried to get through another night of managing drunk strangers. At least it was a Tuesday, he always made better tips on Tuesdays.
-
Halfway through his shift, he saw a familiar leather jacket at the other end of the bar and all the anger he had pushed down to get through the shift was bubbling to the surface.
Sirius was chatting with his coworker and as Remus made drinks he heard Sirius say, "Oh, I'm actually here for my friend, Remus. Is he working?"
Remus wanted to die. Of course, Sirius would come to visit him tonight which, like every Tuesday, was their queer night. The whole place transformed from a grungy dive into a gay bar. Usually, it was Remus' favorite night. The customers were better, he had quite a few regulars, and sometimes he would even find someone to go home with.
The other bartender responded to Sirius with a little laugh, "Yeah, I'll get him for you."
His coworker approached him. "Got a boy asking for you," he said as he handed Remus a tumbler to clean. "He's hot as all hell. Has that whole leather jacket, faux biker look."
Remus glanced to where Sirius was sitting. He did look good, but Sirius always looks good. "Yeah, that's Sirius. He's in my band."
"Well, you better go talk to him because, with a face like that, it won't be long before somebody else does."
Remus rolled his eyes but went down to where Sirius was seated. In fact, another boy had already started speaking with him. An old friend of Remus' actually, with bleached blonde curls and baby blue nails. "Remus!" his friend yelled when he spotted him.
"Oliver!" Remus responded with the same enthusiams. Oliver had his arms outstretched and embraced Remus across the bar, kissing him on both cheeks. Remus nodded at Sirius who was staring at him, "Hey, Sirius."
"Oh, do you two know each other?" Oliver said with an intoxicated smile.
"Yeah," Remus said, "We're in a band together."
Oliver's smile grew wider. "Remus Lupin on stage. Now that is a sight I would pay to see. Written any songs about me?"
Part of Remus wished Sirius wasn't here - the man was clearly out of his depths - but some other part of Remus was more than happy he was. Remus leaned across the bar into Oliver's space, "I guess you'll just have to come to a show and see."
Oliver laughed, "Don't say that, babes, because you know I will." Sirius coughed and that's when Remus remembered just how pissed he was at him. Oliver noticed whatever was happening between them. "I'll leave you two to it," Oliver said as he got off his chair, "but find me later, Remus."
Remus smiled and watched as Oliver joined the dance floor. He turned his attention back to Sirius. "What can I get you?" he said like Sirius was any other customer. It was cold but Remus was angry and it took everything in him not to just throw Sirius out now.
"What was that?" Sirius asked.
"What?"
"You and that boy," Sirius said, "Are you guys like friends?"
"What the fuck is it to you, Sirius?"
"Nothing. It's just..." Sirius trailed off.
"Just what?" Remus spat out. He didn't have time for this bullshit. He still had the rest of his shift to get through.
"I didn't know you were gay," Sirius mumbled.
"You're unbelievable," Remus said. There was absolutely no way that was true. Not with the way Sirius had been acting toward him. "Is there a reason you came here? Because Tuesday night is our pride night and judging by this little conversation, you have absolutely no business sitting in a gay bar right now." Fuck getting him kicked out, Remus was about five seconds from throwing a punch.
Sirius sighed. "I came here to apologize for James. He can be an insensitive ass when it comes to money. Believe me, I know."
The worst part was that Sirius actually seemed sincere. It made Remus want to punch him more. "This could have been a text message, you know. You didn't have to come all the way out here and make judgments on my friends."
"I wasn't judging," Sirius muttered. "Just confused."
"What part of this is confusing for you?" Remus wanted to scream, but he was at work and he needed this job so he sighed and said, "Look, it was a bad idea for you to come. I've got customers waiting. I'll just see you tomorrow."
Sirius looked like the last thing he wanted to do was leave, but he wasn't saying anything either. Remus was about five seconds away from abandoning him to the mercy of his coworker when Sirius spoke up.
"I don't have any problem with you being gay, Remus. I'm just..." Sirius trailed off and looked around at the bar, at the men dancing under colorful lights. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said and walked out.
Remus stared at the seat Sirius had been sitting in. What the fuck did any of that mean? Just then, a group of six came up to the bar and Remus fell back into the pattern of making drinks, flirting with men, and earning tips. He didn't have time for the ball of sexual confusion that was Sirius Orion Black.
-
The next day, the band convened at James and Sirius' apartment to await a phone call from Marlene. Remus didn't even bother coming over until 11. He knew James would spend the whole time pacing through the apartment. Plus, he had gone home with Oliver last night and he always enjoyed mornings with Oliver. He was a baker and always made Remus take some pastry with him before he left.
Remus showed up at the flat, freshly showered with tea and a scone. He also still had his bass because he hadn't been home since yesterday.
"Finally, you're here," James said when he came to the door.
Remus leaned his bass on the wall and sat down on the couch, "Any news?"
"Not a word," Sirius said with his arms crossed, leaning against the doorway to his bedroom. He looked at Remus for just a moment before returning his gaze to James who had started stress cleaning the already spotless flat.
"It's been hours!" James exclaimed. "How long can it take a woman to listen to five songs?" Then James abruptly stopped cleaning as if remembering something and turned his attention square on Remus, "Also, mate, I wanted to apologize about the other night. I was stressed and an asshole and I'm really sorry."
"Yeah, thanks," Remus said genuinely. After everything with Sirius last night, he decided he needed to pick his battles. Plus, James looked actually remorseful which is more than Remus expected from the lead singer of a rock band.
"Are we good?" James asked with an unsure smile.
"Yeah, we're good," Remus responded.
"Great!" James yelled and jumped back into pacing, "Now I can go back to worrying about this fucking phone call."
"It'll be fine, Prongs," Sirius said, for what sounded like the thousandth time, but James clearly was not listening to him.
"Wanna have a jam session?" Remus suggested. "It's what I do when I'm stressed."
James shook his head, "Not here, the neighbors would kill us."
"You have a car," Remus pointed out, "We could go to the warehouse."
James looked at Sirius, who shrugged noncommittally, "Okay, let's go," James said and grabbed his car keys.
They piled into the car - James and Sirius upfront, Remus in the back. The two of them seemed to have a complete routine. James starts the car, checks the mirrors. Sirius hooks his phone to the aux, pulls up a playlist, and offers gum to James, who takes it without looking. There was an easy familiarity between them.
Remus, however, was offered neither gum nor song choice. In one moment, he very quickly understood all those scornful looks Peter gave them when their backs were turned. Around the two of them, it sometimes felt like you didn't exist.
For the whole car ride over, the only sound was Sirius humming along to the music. James was clearly too stressed to talk and Remus had nothing to say to Sirius right now - not in front of James at least.
It is of course only when they were just about to get out of the car that Marlene calls. James' eyes go wide and quickly connects the call, "Hello?"
"Hey, it's Marlene. I showed the demo to people around the office." She said, wasting no time. "They liked it. The music is solid. They want you in here to record an album. 7 of your best songs."
"Really?" James said, "That's great."
"Yup," Marlene said like she broke this news everyday. She probably did. "The studio isn't available for another month though. In the meantime, do as many shows as possible. You need to get your name out there. Music is great but none of that matters if no one is here to listen to it. Got that?"
"Yeah - "
"Great. Alright, I got another meeting. I'll email you the dates." The line disconnected and all the boys sat in silence.
"Well," James said. "That's good news."
"Yeah," Remus said, but he didn't really feel it. "She's not very warm and fuzzy, is she?"
"I'll go call Peter and tell him the good news," James said and exited the car. The moment his door shut, the car was eerily silent. Even the air felt still. Remus was acutely aware that this was the first time he had been alone with Sirius since the disaster last night at the bar.
"Why aren't I happier?" Sirius asked.
So they were just going to act as if nothing had happened. Okay. "That's a big question, Sirius. One they make religions around," Remus said, purposefully misunderstanding him. "I don't think I can answer that for you."
Sirius let out a small breath, "You know what I mean. It just feels like as soon as make a little progress, we just keep getting told to wait."
Remus thought about trying to comfort him, but he's always been shit at that. "Yeah, it's not like I thought we'd be successful overnight, but still, it's fucked." Remus sighed. "You know what this means though?"
Sirius turned in his seat to face Remus, "Tell me."
Remus leaned in, "We're gonna make a damn good album."
And there it was, that Sirius Black grin.
"Alright, boys," James said as he poked his head back into the car. "Ready to jam?"
The jam session was quite fun. They couldn't play any of their normal songs without Peter on keys, so they all just danced around and followed each other's lead. At one point, they all switched instruments - Remus on drums, Sirius on vocals, and James on bass. It was absolutely ridiculous and yet they didn't even sound bad. In fact, they sounded great.
Not to mention, Sirius was mesmerizing on vocals. His voice was rough and didn't have the clarity that James had, yet it meshed perfectly with the sound. It was low, dirty, and didn't have time for anyone's shit.
Sirius was freestyling lyrics. Most of it was bullshit, describing the depressing warehouse or some escapade with a girl. Yet sometimes Sirius plunged into these moments of complete lyrical lucidity.
It's pathetic, I know
A jealous fool who won't let go
If I was sorry for my actions
Would I ever stoop so low
Sirius sang it like his entire being depended on it, yet who he was jealous of, Remus didn't have a clue. Remus had yet to see a girl he couldn't get.
Got no reason to live
And I've got nothing left to give you
But my love, love, fuck it, this is love
Remus switched the rhythm to a low, constant, kick on the bass drum. Sirius transitioned into what felt like a barely disguised confessional.
Oh I was hit as a kid
I was good but then I quit
Everyone that tried to fix me
Knows that I can't change a bit
I've got no shame, got no pride
Only skeletons to hide
Remus kicked up the beat, James joined back in, and Sirius went back to his nonsensical musings, as if he hadn't just poured his heart out. But James didn't think anything he said was worth stopping the music over, so Remus just kept playing.
There was one other thing: while Sirius may be a god on the drums, it was a damn shame no one else got to hear his voice.
As they left and loaded back into James' car, Remus could sense that something had shifted. As they backed out into the road, Sirius offered James a stick of gum, and then turned and extended one to Remus.
Remus never thought spearmint could taste so good.