Livadia 1918
I sit doing needle work with Helena next to me as she knits. We sit together as Mama is with the girls, enjoying the sun. I sit humming to myself as I continue to do my needle work, can I still donate to charity? I am worried about Alix, I haven't gotten much news about their situation back in Petersburg.
I hear the door open as one of Mama's trusted maids comes in with a letter. I stop working and open the letter, it's from Olga, my sister in law. Take the letter from the maid and thank her for it as a rip it open and start to read what is written I pray to God that they are safe I hope for us to meet soon as I hate having my family scattered I do not wish for anything bad to happen to us even though we are not a monarchy no more we are still a family family sticks together.
***
Dearest Alice how are you I hope you are well we pray for you I must keep this short but we are coming to Livadia all of us we should be there by Sunday,
~Olga
***
I reread the letter as my heart races they're all coming here I feel a sense of relief as I knew that my family will be with me and then I remind myself today is Sunday they're coming today. I jump out of my chair as I run out of the room to the outside area but I find that Mama and the girls are returning. "We couldn't even go out, there are so many more guards here" Madeline explains as Mama and Victoria walk up to me. "It keeps getting worse and worse" Mama says worriedly as I look at them.
"Everyone is coming" I say to her as I hand her the letter with my daughters peeking over her shoulder. Tears of relief stream down her face, "Thank the lord" she mutters as Victoria wraps her arm around her, giving her a comforting hug with Madeline joining them in the hug as well. "We will all be together again" I say with happiness as we walk back inside and prepare for their arrival.
We clean, we organize, we make sure there will be enough food for everyone, my heart feels as if it's about to burst with happiness. I heard Misha is still in Petersburg, he said he will be staying there for a while, I pray for his safety. The day goes by busily, Livadia has done a lot for us, Alexander has been spending more time with his son little Peter. My son Peter has been writing lots of letters and goes to bed early, I don't know what that is about. Madeline has been spending more time with me and when mama and Victoria joined, she has been with her sister.
I don't speak to Victoria much, every time I do I feel disappointed in her. Madeline senses the tension between us so she does not get in the way, Victoria needs to get through her head that what she did was a sin, and her baby was punished for it.
Around 5pm we hear a knock on the door and it's them, they are there! Olga and her family, Xenia and hers, we all hug and give kisses on the cheeks at our reunion. I give Olga a tight hug, "I'm so glad you are all safe" I say with tears in my eyes. "Oh Alice" she says. "What about sunny and Nicky?" I ask her as we pull away. "They are stuck in Petersburg for now, Cousin George said he would send them a boat" she says as I feel a bit better. "Oh my darlings" mama says as she hugs all of her grand-babies.
"We have your rooms ready and everything" Madeline smiles as Olga stops smiling. "We can't stay in Russia anymore, it's too dangerous, the official Bolshevik government has been placed, they could get to us here, we need to leave tonight!" Aunt Olga explains as I look at her and my children. "Leave Russia?" Victoria says quietly. "We have to Vicky, we have to or else they will kill us" she says.
Madeline looks at me, as do my other children. "Pack your things, we are going to have to leave" I say as Madeline nods her head and my children go to pack. "How are we going to escape?" I ask Olga with tears. I made Russia my home. From a foreign country to place I never imagined leaving. I always thought that I would die here, but god has other plans. My heart aches, I am leaving my home, my husband, my son. I let my tears fall as Olga explains the boat that is organized for us tonight.
"We are going to have to sneak out at midnight" she explains to me and mama as I nod my head before going to pack my own things from my room. I take out my single suitcase and pack all the memorable things I have left over from the years, photo albums, sentimental jewels, some of George's things that I have kept with me. I shut my eyes as tears leave my face remembering, remembering everything Russia gave me, it gave me my husband, my family, my life was here and now, it's all gone.
Midnight comes around and we are all dressed. We take our things and quietly leave the palace and get to the beach below as a rather small boat awaits for us. We bored the ship with my family and trusted servants. We set off sail, huddled together in the dark, praying that nothing will happen to us and that we will reach England safely, then Denmark. Peter sits in my arms as I hold him, hoping he isn't cold from the sea air. He is asleep in my lap as I look out at Russia for what will be the last time in my life as tears stream down my face, "Goodbye old friend" I whisper as we get farther and farther from land.