The Sisters Of The Court

Chapter 81: Scarlett

St Petersburg, 1917
I sit in front of the window and look at the birds flitting along the trees. We're all prisoners in our own home now, I can't believe it's all over, our poor Russia is beyond saving. I vomit into the bowl next to me, I've been sick for days over it. We should have left when we had the chance and gone to Englandor Denmark, I could have-I could have persuaded the king let us stay there. It would have been safe. how do they think it will all end other then in death? We're all political prisoners of the disgusting people, how could Russia do it to their own people? The children have done nothing wrong yet they are not allowed to be sent somewhere safe. I hear the door open I stand up and look at the small man that enters, he keeps his eyes downcast as if he's scared of me. I mentally snicker, "What do you want? Who are you?" I stand up straight and look down at him as I tower over him, I know exactly who he'll be a doctor from the new government to see how ill I really am. It's still fun to intimidate someone that are holding us captive, "I'm Doctor Lebedev, I've been sent to examine you." He says meekly and I have to hold back a laugh, he would've never survived in a hospital, what a pig, taking good people's money during a war. I lay down on the bed as he starts to examine me and my thoughts wander, surely they wouldn't hurt the children? Surely they want to hurt me and Michael the most, we're the ones that represent nobility the most. "When was your last cycle?" The Doctor looks up at me and I put my legs down, I haven't been paying attention to it, I'm old enough so stop having them. "A few months ago I suppose." I say and shrug, why does he want to know this? "You're with child." He says simply and let out a laugh, is he insane? I'm 46 for heavens sake, I can't be pregnant. "Madam I am not joking, You are with child." He says and I stare at him and realize he's serious. A baby? No. It's impossible. I can't-no I can't be having another child I'm to old and-just no. I try to get ahold of my thoughts as the doctor leaves. My child born into a world where it's mother is nothing but a prisoner and has no security. They wouldn't dare to hurt me or my baby would they? Im much too old, women my age don't survive something like this. I get up and pull my skirt down so it is not wrinkled and walk out to the parlor. Michael sits with the children playing the guitar for them. I take a Seat on the sofa next To Julia as she draws quietly in her sketchbook. She and Nicholas will be 12 in December. Time has gone by so fast. Anne sits on the floor playing with her blocks before she gets up and toddles over to me. "Mama!" She smiles happily and I lift her and put her on my lap, at least when this baby is born she'll only be two years older then her. "Hello my sweetheart! Are you doing well today?" I tickle her belly and she giggles quietly before laying her head against my chest and looking at the necklace around my neck. I pull her close to me and kiss the top of her head. "I love you." I Loft her up and rub her nose against mine as she laughs. "Love mama!" She chews on her rattle before going back to being quiet again, she is such an easy quiet baby. Julia comes closer to me and I put my arm around her, we've never really gotten along spectacularly, I feel bad about it but sometimes our personalities clash. I kiss the top of her head and look down at her sketchbook to see that she's drawn me. I smile pleased at the drawing, it's really very good, exceptionally so for an 11 year old. "That's beautiful darling!" I compliment her and she smiles looking up at me. "Do you think so? You can have it! I made it for you!" She says hurriedly and rips it out of the book before kissing my cheek. I smile and take it from her studying it, she's done my side profile in very good detail. We go back into sitting in silence for a moment, I'm trying to decide when's the best time to tell Michael about it. "Mama?" Julia brings me out of my thoughts and I look down at her and she avoids my eyes "What is it?" I ask her as a few drops of water fall onto her dress. "I'm scared. I'm scared for Aloysha. That he will get hurt." She looks up at me as tears fall down her face. An agreement was supposed to be drawn up for her getting married to Alexei. They would have gotten married had this not happened, she would have been Tsarina. They both have crushes on each other as well. "No harm will come I'm sure." I assure her and she relaxes as I put Anne on her lap and they both giggle together. I lied to her, they would be fools to keep an heir to the throne alive. I get up off the sofa and approach Michael, I don't really want to have this conversation. I didn't mean for this to happen. He is unfaithful so he deserves it. "May I speak with you?" I avoid his eyes before waiting for an answer I walk into my study, I haven't been In his since I found that awful letter. I hear the door shut behind me as I look at the pictures of my children on my desk, I smile at them. All the way from George being a baby to the twins last birthday. "What is it?" I hear Michael ask me from behind and I continue to look at the pictures. I thank god George is safe in England and Sergei escape to Denmark since he was at the front at the time. I turn around to face him, "I'm pregnant." I say simply and he looks at me shocked before it turns to dismay and he rubs his face, I stare at him blankly. I want this baby, I'm not going to do anything to endanger it even if I am terrified of being so old. "How? You haven't let me get close to you." I stiffen up, I do not want to go into the details. I made one mistake with him a couple months ago, he has forgotten? I was tipsy and I let him touch me again. "Two months ago, remember? Or perhaps I have blended in with the memory of her?" I say sourly and he approaches me but I pull my arm away. I let him once, it was enough. I can't stand it, the hands supposed to be devoted to me have been so frequently on another woman. "That is all I needed to say." I brush past him towards the door and I rest my hand on the doorknob. "I loved you Natasha." He says and I stiffen up, I'm not doing this. I am not going to go through this. I've been through enough in the past few months already. "If you really had you wouldn't have done what you did." I say quietly before walking out the door, I really don't care anymore about his excuses, he can have her. I stopped caring a long time ago.

I walk in the gardens alone, I can't stand being watched all the time. Every second of my life being observed by my captors. I stop at my trellis of climbing roses that took so long to train when I hear voices. I turn my attention to a group of soldiers standing on the other side of the garden. They're talking and laughing about something as I strain my ears to hear. "Can you believe them? Living her in luxury while we starve?" A soldier laughs and anger boils inside of my chest, It's not as if I sat here all day acting like a woman that can stand on her own two feet. I saved countless numbers of their friends, brothers, fathers in the hospital. I tried to help anyone that was suffering who I saw! Countless women who needed a place to work or live. "I hope they knock off the husband, I'd love to get a piece of that cunt." Another voice snickers and my stomach curls In disgust as I realize they're talking about me. How dare they? How dare they even think of me like that? I wish I could go over and smack them across the mouth for saying such foul things, I walk away as more obscenities pour out of their mouth of what they would want to do to me, how they would kill Michael. I feel nauseous as I walk towards my greenhouse at the words. Before I can get there I vomit in a bush outside. They disgust me, I have no power but to avoid them and stay close to Michael if possible. I sit down on a bench and try to get ahold of myself as I shake clammily, I feel so tired and angry at the way I'm being treated. My hand drifts to my stomach, my poor baby having to be born into this. I sigh and light a cigarette resting my head against the glass wall of the greenhouse.

I stand in the foyer standing next to Michael with my hands clasped tightly together, Waiting for our captor. Kerensky. The name burns in my head, I hate him, we have some no crime even though they say we have done treason. "Madam, Sir." I hear the voice before I see him and I stiffen my back as I see the man walking smiling towards us. The words he use to address us make me cringe. How can he smile in our faces? He kisses my hand and I wipe it on my dress discreetly, I'd rather deal with Felix a million times over than this man. "Kerensky." Michael shakes his hand and I keep my face stony, I can't say anything for fear I'll spit on him instead. "I came to say that you and your family are safe," He turns to me and I can see the respect in his eyes. He should respect me, I'm a Russian Grand Duchess no matter how German they call me, even if they strip me. "Natasha, your son and daughter are also under arrest with their father." He says and I keep my face stony, I don't count them as my children and it's not a surprise anyways. "I respect you and your family greatly and I assure you no harm will come to you." He says and I can't help but snicker, he can never run an effective government with us alive. I turn on my heel and walk away from the small lying man.