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"Good morning living room fort residents! The current time is 9:47 this fine Saturday morning, the temperature today is a cool 13 degrees, which is a good..." thud "fuck, I dropped my phone, a good...hang on...55 degrees Fahrenheit for all you Fahrenheit users or just plain weirdos. This has been Niall Horan with the Suite 2817 News, enjoy your day."
"Does he do that every morning?" Harry whispered to Louis afraid Niall would hear him and start up again.
"Not always, but sometimes he will just so he can go to the loo and come out saying 'this just in, I would not go in there, more on that at 11,'" Louis shrugged, chuckling at his roommate and his odd announcing habit.
"I remember he told me that he always secretly wanted to be a weatherman, maybe he's just living out that dream," Harry replied, popping his head over the barrier that protected him from Louis.
A few moments later, Niall was joined in their kitchenette by Zayn and Liam. Louis figured it was as good a time as any to emerge from their impenetrable blanket fort.
"Tommo, don't forget it's the first Saturday of the month," Liam spoke as he chewed spitting bits of French toast all over Zayn's plate.
Zayn just rolled his eyes and continued eating.
"Shit you're right, do you mind making me some tea while I deconstruct Buckingham Palace over here?" Louis made eye contact with Niall as he jerked his thumb over his shoulder at the now, rather disheveled, blanket fort.
With a loud sigh and a muffled "fine," Niall made his way over to the coffee bar, that also held Louis's tea, it wasn't his fault he was the only one with class and started carefully making everything to Louis's standards.
"What's so special about the first Saturday of the month?" Harry asked as Louis finished collapsing the fort and, oh right, Louis had forgotten he was here.
"Oh right, Al, the garden maintenance man? His wife makes bread and he told me I reminded him of his grandson who is some nature photographer in Australia and doesn't get to visit much. So, on the first Saturday of the month, he shares his fresh bread with me and we talk about life," Louis explained, grabbing one of his discarded vans and spinning around, scanning the suite for the other.
"The one who speaks solely in weird 1950s American slang? And demands to be called Elderly Al? I love that guy!" Harry exclaimed as Louis pulled his missing shoe out of the cabinet under the sink.
"Yeah, he spent some time in Chicago in the late 50s and just really liked the way they talked I guess. Now he does it because it quote 'keeps the weird ones away' endquote, so..." Louis continued, now running from his room smelling a hoodie as he pulled it over his head.
"Well I better get back to my room, Ed probably thinks I was abducted or something, I'll text you about finishing up the project later?" Harry asked fumbling with the throw pillows until he felt they looked just right.
"Yeah sounds good see you all later!" Louis threw over his shoulder as he ran out of the suite.
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"Sorry I'm late Al!" Louis shouted as he approached the bench he and Al always met at.
"That's alright King Louis you're here now friend, that's all that matters!" Since the day they had met Al had called him King Louis, and Louis took great joy in that, finally, someone was recognized how he should be treated like royalty.
"Thanks," Louis took the piece of bread Al was offering as he collapsed onto the bench next to him.
"What's buzzin'?" Al asked after a moment of silent bread noshing.
"I met my soulmate and we have no romantic feelings. Could be good friends I guess but I'm a bit disappointed," Louis sighed picking at the piece of bread Al handed to him.
"Ain't that a bite," he said with a sigh, Louis was quick to add it to his ever-growing mental dictionary.
Ain't that a bite: that's shit
"Anyone I know? Can't believe King Louis is so grown up!" Al pinched Louis's arm and Louis swatted him away, like an annoying fly.
"Harry Styles? Know him?" Louis replied casually before taking a sip of his perfectly made tea.
God, Niall was the best.
"Oh yeah I know him, real dreamboat beatnik type," Al nodded, seemingly with approval.
Beatnik: '50s hipster
Dreamboat: cute boy
Honestly, Louis could become an old man translator at the rate he was going.
"So no romance with Princess Harry?" Al pressed on, receiving a confused look from Louis.
"Oh get ride of that look, we've already got a Prince Harry, no matter how hard they try to disown him, and you aren't married so he can't quite be King Harry...yet, I supposed we could downgrade him to an Earl but that just seems awfully unkind and uncalled for..."
Louis cut him off, "Princess Harry works, I'm sure he would love it actually."
"Well I don't see the problem kiddo, just give him some of that apple butter and then go for a round of backseat bingo, problem solved," Al winked at Louis before smirking.
Apple butter: smooth talk
Louis had no idea what backseat bingo meant, but based on Al's reaction it was something Louis was not going to wait until later to google.
Louis pulled his phone from his back pocket frantically pulling up the search engine.
Backseat Bingo: to make —
"AL I AM NOT GOING TO SMOOTH TALK HARRY INTO MAKING OUT WITH ME IN THE BACK OF A CAR! What is wrong with you! Here I thought I was sharing homemade bread with the innocent elderly garden maintenance man," Louis shook his head in fake disgust, his smile giving him away immediately.
"Oh fine," Al patted Louis arm in silent agreement that they would drop the conversation, "so how are your classes, Beatrice has been nagging me to make sure you're not too stressed and eating properly and all that," Louis loved Al's wife, sometimes she would send Al with vegetables from their garden because she was worried about Louis and his suite mates' nutritional intake, Louis's mother loved it, and it was so sweet Louis couldn't be annoyed either.
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After another hour on the bench, and a FaceTime call to Beatrice to ensure her that Louis wasn't working too hard he found himself traveling to the library, extra bread in a baggie, to meet Harry to finish their project.
Al was a little annoyed that Louis got to keep the leftover bread but after a scolding from Beatrice about how Louis should share with his soulmate, Al reluctantly handed over the leftovers ensuring Louis it would woo Harry into romance.
To no one's surprise, it did not.
But, Harry was very grateful for the bread and spent the first fifteen minutes carefully writing a very detailed thank you note to Al and Beatrice for their generous bread scraps.
After another couple of hours in the library, they were able to finish their project, and they both agreed it was the best work they had ever done.
So there were some major perks to partner work with your soulmate.
As they were packing up their belongings both of their phones buzzed at the same time, cautiously they looked at one another before opening their phone to read the new group name, and message from Niall.
FIFTH WHEEL NIALL (YOU FUCKERS)
Niall: We are going clubbing tonight. No is not an answer.
Zayn: No.
Niall: Thank you for demonstrating what a not answer looks like Zaynie! We're leaving at 9.
Louis looked at Harry for any indication as to how he was feeling about the idea.
"Sounds fun honestly, celebrate the project being done?" Harry offered and Louis couldn't have agreed more.
He opened his mouth to ask Harry if he wanted to hang out, but couldn't get the words out before his phone rang.
Louis rolled his eyes at Harry before pulling his phone out placing it on speakerphone as he finished packing up his papers.
"Hello Beatrice is everything ok?" Louis greeted.
"Oh of course dear! I just had a lovely chat with your mum. Lovely, lovely, lady, and I must apologize," Beatrice paused for a moment.
"Well, she called to ask how my brother was recovering from his hip replacement, you've met Richard, you know, and she told me she was planning a visit next week! Now, dear, I didn't know she didn't know about Harry, so I asked her for the three of you to join us for dinner one night. Louis, I'm so sorry, I tried to tell her that Harry was just a new friend of yours but I'm not sure if she bought it. I'm so very sorry Little-Lou, I didn't know she didn't know," Beatrice sounded as if she was on the verge of tears.
"Is that all? Oh B, it's ok I forget to tell her things all the time, she won't be upset and I'm not upset either. I'm not sure about Harry, but mum and I of course will join you for dinner," Louis saw Harry's hand flail out of the corner of his eye, looking up to see Harry nodding his head with a smile.
"Actually B, Harry will be there too. Seriously, do not worry about it!" Louis assured shaking his head fondly.
"Ok, dear. I'll check in later. Phone hugs for Little-Lou" And with that, the call ended.
"Little-Lou?" Harry questioned, trying very hard to hold back a laugh.
"Don't. Give me a break, I'm big! Beatrice is the only one who can call me that, and you're the only one besides Al who knows," Louis warned, Harry, who was biting on his bottom lip as a laugh threatened to squeak out.
"You didn't tell her about me?" Harry looked at his shoes, in fake hurt, just long enough for Louis to start to panic.
"Harry, I'm sorry we only met on Wednesday and it's so untraditional, I just didn't know how to bring it up," Louis panicked pacing back and forth causing Harry's smile to break across his face.
"I'm just messing Lou, my mum and sister don't know about you either, but I'll call them today. She won't be mad? Your mum, I mean, finding out from Beatrice?"
"Oh no, she'll be fuming. But she won't be surprised, and she'll get over it quickly," Louis shrugged as his phone rang again this time, from his mother.
"Speaking of..."
"Hi mum...yes, I met him...No, we find each other repulsive...Mum, Mum! stop laughing I'm serious we don't...NO! I am not judging a book by its cover, Harry's cover is fine, just not for me...yes, Harry wants to go, we will be there...MUM! I'm not talking about that with you, GOD I need to go wash my ears now, bye Mum, love you too."
"Harold, you will never guess what my mother's solution to our problem is." Louis turned to the boy with wide and disgusted eyes.
"Do I want to know her solution?" Harry's brows knit together in questioning and maybe a touch of fear.
"She seems to think if we both get drunk enough to 'go to bed together and get frisky' we'll find the spark and everything will be fine," Louis faked a gag at the thought of having that conversation with his mother.
Harry barked out a laugh "She actually said 'go to bed together and get frisky'?"
"Yes, because apparently, go to bed together wasn't clear enough, she really had to get the message across by saying get frisky..." Louis sighed shaking his head, of all the things he expected to hear out of his mother's mouth regarding their situation, her recommending to get frisky with Harry was not one of them.
"Well, at least she's supportive?" Harry offered with a shrug, the boys now on their way into the dining hall for a late lunch.
"She'll joke that our platonic soulmate situation is just an excuse for me to not give her grandbabies and then she'll coo over the idea of grandbabies. She'll absolutely adore you and then blame me for the whole situation." Louis explained as they got in the pizza line.
"I'm sure she's great, your sisters too. Do you know where Niall is planning on taking us tonight?" Harry reached for a slice of veggie pizza and Louis wanted to smack him.
"First of all Curly, if you're going to eat pizza don't try to make it healthy by adding vegetables, commit to clogging your arteries, or don't do it at all. And no, I have no idea where he plans to take us, he knows all the clubs we just go with it." Louis threw a slice of pepperoni pizza onto his plate but sighed when he saw the look in Harry's eyes, so he grabbed one with peppers and mushrooms as well hoping to appease the younger boy. Harry's eyes seemed to brighten at that and Louis gave him a soft smile.
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