⚠TRIGGER WARNING⚠
Panic Attack, Swearing, Slight Suicidal Thoughts, Self Harm, Blood, Mention of Murder / Death.
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Wilbur POV
Y/n seemed really liked that bee. I'm not sure why, but she seemed really happy, and the way her face lit up when she saw I had brought her one.
Yesterday was a success I think.
"Good Morning Y/n," I say walking into her room. Neither Phil nor I had heard her all morning and it was starting to get on my nerves.
Fuck, she was gone.
All the windows were shut, and my room is close to the door, so she couldn't have gotten out without me hearing
"Y/n?"
"W-w-ill?"
I look around the room to see the small cupboard door ajar. I look in to see a crying trembling Y/n hiding in the corner.
"Hey can you hear me Yn?" all she does is squeeze my hand in respone.
"Yeah. It's me Wil. It is just you and me is this cupboard. Phil is in my office doing some work. There is only three people under this roof. You are safe," I say trying to get her to calm down.
"NO. H-he i-is here t-too. I-i'm not s-sa-fe."
"There is no one here. I promise," I say trying to keep myself calm too. "I am going to go get your weighted blanket okay. I will be three second. Do you want to count for me?"
She just sat there shaking her head rather violently. I quickly hop up and pull the blanket off her bed into the corner she is sitting in.
"Here, this is your blanket. How about I come sit with you? I will make sure you are safe. You just try and get some sleep."
I lay awkwardly in the corner of the cupboard and before I know it Y/n has curled up on my chest and started to fall asleep.
"You're safe here Y/n. I promise," I wispier before starting to feel Y/n breaths calm and heart slow.
Y/n POV
Where am I?
Why can I feel a chest rising and falling with a steady heart?
I look around were I am.
"Hey Y/n. Feeling better?" Wil said putting his phone down a looking at me.
No way did I fall asleep on him he is going to be so mad.
"I'm so sorry for falling asleep. I'm sorry for this I'm s---,"
"Calm down, it's okay. I'm glad you got some more sleep. Sounded like you had a bit of a rough night and or early morning, want to talk about it?"
"No, I'm fine, thank you. Sorry if I messed up your day."
"You have messed nothing up, you actually let me get some more sleep, which I needed," Wil says pushing up off the wall, making me roll off him. "How about we get up and go for a walk, I find after a panic attack or nightmare, that going for a walk can clear my head."
"Okay," I instinctively let a small smile cross my face, but this time I don't try and hide it, I let it stay there.
Why the fuck are you smiling? You just ruined this mans day, and soon enough his whole life. Just because you are happy, you are just ripping this mans life apart. You don't deserve to be happy, because you have ruined so many lives, you just don't deserve to be happiness. In my opinion, you don't even deserve to live, but you seemed to fail that so now you will just have to trust me. Who was here when you had no one.
You.
Who was there when you FUCKING KILLED YOUR MOTHER?
You.
Who was there to take the pain away?
You.
Exactly. Me. I have been here for you through everything, so why are you trusting this man? He is just trying to earn your trust you stupid kid.
Okay.
Now you are going to fucking cut, like you have never cut before. You don't deserve to feel the way you do, because then you will get comfortable just in time for him to start the hitting. All I want is for you to feel less hurt. I am your one and only friends, and I just want what is best for you.
"Um Wil, may I have a shower before we go out?" Always the best excuse to cut.
"Sure thing, I need to do something quickly anyway, so I can do that while you shower Plan?"
I nod getting up off the floor and getting one of my new jumpers and pairs of trousers, and finally get the small blade I had tucked away.
I walk into the water closet and start looking at myself in the mirror.
I slowly start unwrapping the bandages that Wil had put on a few days ago. The raw broken skin with cuts scattered on it. The bandages Wil had put on where starting to work their way into the open cuts.
Go on. Add more.
So I do.
I start just where I normally would. My arms.
One...
Two...
Three...
...
Thirty...
I had cut thirty new cuts on both arms. The blood starting to fall onto the white tiled floor,
You think that is good enough? After all you have done to this world, sixty tiny scratches. Don'y be a pussy. CUT DEEPER.
So I do.
One...
Two...
Three...
Four...
I carve four deep cuts into my side. It seemed to make the voice shut up, so I figured it was enough.
I start cleaning up. I thought about cleaning the wounds and bandages, but I figured if i do get an infection then so be it. I what's the worst thing that can happen? I die. Is that bad, because I would see that as a win at this point.
"Hey, Y/n. You good in there? You've been in their for a while," Wil says calling through the door.
"Um, yes. I'm just finishing up. I will be out in a second sorry."
"Okay. I will be back in 5 to make sure you are out."
Fuck.
I don't think I can get this cleaned up in that time, and I don't want him to get mad. On the other hand I don't want him stopping me from doing this, it is one thing I have always been able to do where ever I am. From each house to the next, I have always been able to cut.
"Wait. Wil," am I going to regret doing this? "I've messed up."
"Y/n? Can you open the door? I want to be able to help."
"Please don't get mad. I had to. I'm sorry," I feel my breaths start to panic.
"I promise Y/n, I will not be mad, but you need to let me in to help."
Wilbur POV
*Click*
I turn the handle and walk in.
I see Y/n frantically trying wipe her side, and that is when I clicks.
"Hey Y/n, calm down. How about you just lay down and I can sort this out," I say starting to panic, the cuts seemed really deep, and then I notice the blade.
"I am going to quickly grab Phil and some more medical surpplies, is there anything you want me to get?" I say standing up.
"Barnibee please."
"Barnibee? Oh the bee. Right. I will be right back."
"Phil?" I yell running into the kitchen. Fuck he is live still I think. I will have to message him that way I don't have to yell it to the audience. I look around for my phone, and conveniently I see Phils phone sitting on the kitchen counter. I guess I will have to go in and tell him.
I grab the first aid kit and Barnibee and quickly run it into Y/n before going to get Phil.
"I have everything, I'm just now going to get Phil to help me, because you seem to have done quiet a number. I am going to get a wet rag and place it on your side if that is okay, that way it can soak up some of the blood for when I come back," I say rushing to the sink. "Be brave for me. You will be just fine."
*Knock Knock*
"Phil, sorry to interrupt your stream but your stream but I need your help with something. You need to end stream for a bit until we have done," I'm on the verge on tears at this point, but I need to be brave for Y/n.
"Okay. Give me like two seconds," Phil says turning back around to the computer and stopping stream.
"Hey, I'm back Y/n, and Phil will be in any second now. How is Barnibee going? Is he liking it here?" I need to keep her distracted.
"H-he i-is re-ealy liking i-it h-h-here."
"That poggers."
"Hey Wil, you needed m----," Phil said walking down the hallway.
I quickly put my fingers up to my lips so he doesn't make Y/n panic more then she already is.
"Okay Y/n, I'm not going to lie to you, this is most likely going suck, like a lot, but you are strong and you have got this. Would you like to hold my hand, so you can squeeze it?"
"Yes please," Y/n says through the tear running down her face.
"Okay, me and Phil are going to start with your side, unless there are any other deeper cuts we should look at first?" I look down to her and see her head shake.
-=(Time Skip Yo After They Finish Dressing All The Wounds)=-
"Okay, you are all patched up, how about we go get you comfy, because I can only imagine how sore you are and how uncomfortable these tiles must be," I say signing at the fact that is over. "Phil thank you so much for the help, I wouldn't have been able to do it so easily. Can you help me get Y/n up and to the couch?"
"Sure think mate, you did great Y/n," Phil says patting Y/n on the shoulder..
After slowly walking down the hallway we make it to the couch after sitting her down, I head out to the kitchen to get a snack for both of us where I see Phil sitting at the counter.
"That was pretty full on mate, you handled it really well Wil."
"I was on the verge of tears the whole time, it was not easy seeing her like that. That shit is heart breaking, but it is done now, and Y/n is safe," I say back to Phil.
I finish cutting an apple for Y/n and two glasses of water and walked back into the living room.
"How you holding up? Would you like more paid killers to take the edge off?"
"No," I barely hear her say.
"I'm not going to make you talk today, because I understand that today has been a shitty day, but do you recon you could talk to me tomorrow? I just want to help, and I can't help what I don't know. Lets watch something funny, hopefully change to mood for today." Y/n just nods.
Phils POV
I feel bad for Wil, he is doing such a good job, and I could see it in his eyes that seeing Y/n hurt like that was really hard on him.
I look at my phone for the first time today and see that I have heaps of discord and other messages from Tommy. I can't be bothered to explain this to him, this isn't my place to tell. I will tell Wil to call him tonight.
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Holy shit guys. Since my last Pt, I have doubled in views and almost doubled in vote. You guys are mental.
As well as the I have reached
#3 on #sbi & #2 on #dreamsmp.
That is crazy.
I started writing this after having a good home for a bit, the best I've ever had, and how it is has turned into a whole thing and all of your guys support and comments have made me smile, because seeing other people enjoy my story makes it feel a bit more bareable.
Remember that your body isn't paper, so don't cut it,
Remember your face isn't a mask, so don't hide it,
Remember that your size isn't a book, so don't judge it,
And most of all, your life isn't a film, so don't end it
You are beautiful just the way you are, don't ever change from who you are for others <3
I just want to say thank you. You guys, girls and anything in between are absolutly amazing and I love you.
I hope all of you are having a good day/night/ whatever time it is where you are.
Make sure you eat, drink some water, take your meds (if not already) and get some good sleep.
You are AMAZING and never forget that.
Stay safe and remember that you are loved. ❤❤❤