"I wanted him to kiss me again, but I don't know how to tell him."
They stared into each other's eyes for a long while. She wanted to just lean closer and take the chance, but something's stopping her. Hindi rin naman gumalaw si Vince. Hindi niya alam kung ano ang hinihintay nilang dalawa.
Why does it seem so hard to just cross that tiny space between them?
Mukhang hindi naman ni Vince gagawin, kaya lumayo na lamang siya. It was so awkward. Gusto na niyang lumabas ng KTV dahil sa nangyari.
Laking pasalamat niya nang dumating na sina Red at Vico.
Moira couldn't keep it to herself anymore, so pag-uwi niya ng bahay, agad niyang kinausap si Neri. Her cousin listened patiently and when she's done talking, ang unang-una nitong tanong sa kanya ay, "Mahal mo pa rin ba sya?"
It's the question that she couldn't bring herself to answer.
"It's been ten years, Neri," was all she could say.
"It doesn't matter if it's ten or twenty or fifty years ago. Kapag mahal mo, mahal mo. Moira, if it's too much for you, then quit the job."
"Pero nakakahiya na sa inyo. Palagi na lang kayo ang nagsu-shoulder ng mga gastusin."
Bumuntong-hininga ito. "Ano ka ba, para namang iba ka sa 'min."
"Neri, you've been more than a cousin to me for ten years. Kahit man lang sana sa pagbabayad ng bills, makatulong ako sa 'yo."
"Do you really mean that or are you just making excuses para hindi ka makalayo sa kanya? If it's the latter, then it's fine. Hindi na kita pangangaralan. Just please be true to yourself."
"Three weeks na lang naman, Neri."
"My god, Moira, you're still in denial! You're in fucking denial for ten years! Just admit that you love him! Ikamamatay mo ba kung aaminin mo sa sarili mong may feelings ka pa para sa kanya?"
"Calm down!" saway niya sa pinsan. Yumakap siya rito. "You shouldn't be upset."
"I know, but you're upsetting me. Alam mo naman sigurong ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit hindi pa 'ko nakakasal?"
She sighed. "E, ikaw naman kasi. Sino ba'ng may sabing hintayin mo 'ko? Okay lang naman ako kahit ikasal ka."
She's been goading Neri to accept her boyfriend's proposal, pero matigas ang ulo nito. I will not get married until you're happy, sabi pa nito sa kanya dati. But that happiness is taking too long to come and she's afraid na baka mainip na ang boyfriend nito kahihintay.
Men can't be expected to hang around forever.
"Ikaw, okay lang, pero pa'no si Kelvin?"
"We'll be all right," she insisted.
Kinuha nito ang kamay niya at pinisil iyon.
"Moira, don't you think it's time for Vince to know the truth?"
--
Vince spent the weekend with Troy, Red and Kylie. Naghuhuramentado na naman daw kasi ang pamangkin niya.
"I think she knows that I'm pregnant and she doesn't like it," Red told him.
Kinalong niya ang pamangkin. Tahimik lang itong nakasunod sa bawat galaw ng ina. Hindi naman ito umiiyak, pero hindi rin ito playful.
"How can she know? She's just a baby."
Nagkibit-balikat si Red. "I don't know. Pero may nabasa ako somewhere na kaya raw umiiyak ang babies kapag gabi, e para mapigilan ang parents nilang gumawa ng bagong baby."
He's never heard of that theory. Nailing siya.
"Kylie wouldn't do that. She's too nice."
Kylie turned at the mention of her name. Ngumuso ito at saka nilaro-laro ang tenga nya.
"You'll never know. Baka nagmana sa 'kin ng pagka-selfish 'yang batang 'yan," sabi naman ni Red. Humalik ito sa anak at saka nagpaalam, "I'll just tell the maids to prepare our lunch."
Tumango siya. Naglakad siya papunta sa terrace kung saan may nakalatag na blanket at maraming nakapaligid na unan. Inilapag niya roon si Kylie saka siya naupo. May mga stuffed toys na nakalagay doon. Kumuha siya ng isa at saka iniabot iyon kay Kylie.
Kylie took the toy from his hand, looked at it and threw it away.
"Pati ba naman sa stuffed toys, may galit ka?" tanong niya sa pamangkin.
Ngumiti lamang ito at nilaro ang mga domino na nakakalat sa blanket.
"Don't eat that, okay?"
He played with Kylie until lunch. Itatapon nito ang stuffed toys kung saan, sya naman ang naging tagapulot. Mabuti na nga lamang at hindi ito umiiyak, so hindi sya nai-stress. Nang mag-lunchtime, binalikan sila ni Red para sunduin.
"Kakain na!" she announced. Kinalong nito si Kylie. "Come, uncle."
Sumunod siya papuntang kusina. Troy was already sitting at the dining table. He got up and pulled a chair for Red. Siya naman ay naupo sa tabi ng kapatid.
"Ginataang alimango ulit?" taas-kilay niyang tanong. During his last two visit, ginataang alimango palagi ang pananghalian ng mag-anak.
"Don't look at me. I didn't ask for it," Troy told him.
"I'm pregnant," dahilan naman ni Red.
Hindi na lamang siya nakipagtalo. He knew how overwhelming cravings are, siguro lalo na para sa mga buntis. Troy didn't seem to mind. Palibhasa'y paborito rin nito ang ginataang alimango.
Kylie fell asleep after lunch. Doon na nila ito sa terrace inihiga para maginhawa. Red arranged some pillows against the wall. Doon ito sumandal katabi ni Troy. He's on the opposite side. Once settled, nagpadala sila ng juice sa katulong.
"Wala kayong planong lumabas ngayon? Nandito naman ako. I can look after Kylie."
"We didn't invite you here to babysit Kylie," Red told him. "I want to talk to you about what happened last night."
He frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Don't deny it, Vince. Vico and I saw you. May clear panels yung pintuan ng KTV for the staffs to check kung may kababalaghan nang nangyayari sa loob ng room. We were just outside, looking, when it happened. Oh, sorry. I meant... didn't."
Binigyan siya nito ng makahulugang tingin. He knew that people can see what's inside through the glass door. Blurred 'yong kalahati noong pintuan, with strips of clear glass at kahoy naman ang ibabang kalahati. He just didn't expect them to look.
"Why didn't you kiss her?"
"Kiss who?" Troy asked with a frown.
"Carlene," sagot ni Red. "They were about to kiss, pero hindi natuloy."
He rolled his eyes. Kahit kailan talaga, mahilig makialam ang hipag niya.
"What?" laglag-pangang tanong ni Troy. "You and Carlene? So it's not over?"
"Boses mo," saway ni Red.
"It's not gonna happen again."
"And what made you so sure?" Red asked in a hushed tone. "Halata namang attracted kayo sa isa't isa. Why not take the chance while it's there?"
"She has a boyfriend, okay?"
"So? Hindi pa naman sila kasal, may chance pa."
Umiling siya. "It's not that easy."
"Why not?"
"Because it's not right."
"Well, if it's love, then does it matter if it's wrong?" Troy said. Hinawakan nito ang kamay ni Red. "Sometimes, we make the wrong choices to get to the right place."
He smiled. "The Equalizer?"
Tumango ito. Troy liked that movie so much. He's been quoting it whenever there's a chance.
"It's an action movie," paliwanag niya kay Red.
"Can we get back to the topic please? And no more action movie reference. Alam nyo namang hindi ako makari-relate."
"Sorry, hon."
"Anyway, like Troy said, maybe you have to make a few wrong turns, you know. If you really like her, then do everything to be with her."
"Even if it's wrong?"
"How can you be sure that it's wrong? Maybe Carlene wants to be with you. Maybe this is your second chance. Maybe there's a reason why after so many years, nagkita ulit kayo. Vince, you have to at least try. Kung hindi talaga pwede, e di okay. At least nalaman mo, di ba? Kesa naman, forever kang magtatanong sa sarili mo kung ano ba talaga."
--
"Dito na lang."
Ipinara ni Joem ang sasakyan sa tapat ng ginagawang building sa Ayala. Walking distance na lamang mula roon ang building ni Moira.
"Thanks for doing this, Jo."
"No problem. Susunduin pa ba kita mamaya?"
"Hindi ko sure e," sagot niya. "Ti-text na lang kita mamaya."
Akmang pababa na siya nang pigilan sya nito.
"Moira." Pinisil nito ang kamay nya. "Take care of your heart, okay?"
She smiled. "I will." Humalik siya sa pisngi nito. "Bye!"
--
Hanggang mag-Lunes ay dala-dala pa rin ni Vince ang pangaral sa kanya nina Troy at Red. What they're suggesting is against his principles. Kung siya ang nasa kalagayan ng boyfriend ni Moira at may gagawa sa kanya ng ganoong bagay, he'll be hurt for sure.
But it's Moira. If it's any other woman, hindi siguro sya malilito ng ganoon.
Sighing, he parked the car and got out. Saka niya tinungo ang lobby ng building. Paglabas niya ng elevator ay mahabang pila ng mga empleyado ang tumambad sa kanya. May sira daw kasi kaya naho-hold up ang pagsakay. Naglakad siya patungo sa pinakadulo ng pila.
"Sir! Dito na po kayo!" tawag sa kanya ng ibang empleyado sa bandang unahan. They're willing to give him their spot on the line.
Umiling siya. "Thanks. I'm okay here."
He looked at his wristwatch. It's just past 8:30 in the morning, pero ganoon na kahaba ang pila. Palibhasa'y Monday. Ayaw na niyang isipin kung gaano kapuno ang lobby mamayang alas nwebe. Tumingin siya sa likuran para i-check kung gaano na kahaba ang pila. Nagulat siya nang makitang nasa likod lang pala niya si Moira.
She gave him a tight smile and said, "Good morning, sir."
He smiled back and nodded in acknowledgement, saka siya humarap muli sa unahan. Maya-maya's gumalaw ang linya. Pero malayo pa rin sila. They're still halfway to the elevator.
Madalas masira ang elevators ng building, pero paisa-isa lang. Malas lang nila dahil ngayon, dalawa na ang sira. Monday pa. Swerte na kung thirty minutes ay makakasakay na siya.
He looked at his watch impatiently. Sampung minuto na ang nakalilipas pero hindi pa siya nakasasakay. Bumuntong-hininga siya saka muling lumingon. Nakatutok si Moira sa phone nito, naglalaro ng Farm Heroes.
"Moira."
"Yes?" Tumunghay ito. He groaned inwardly. Why does she have to look so beautiful in the morning?
"Do you want to have coffee?"
Mukhang nagulat ito sa tanong niya.
"U-Uhm... yung pila—"
"Mawawala na rin 'yan pagbalik natin." Umalis siya sa pila. "Come on."
--
Sana pala dumaan muna si Moira sa coffee shop bago pumasok. Hindi naman kasi niya alam na may sira na naman ang elevator. Nasa may guard pa lang siya kanina nang makita niya itong naglalakad. He didn't see her because he was busy staring at the long lines (tatlo kasi ang pila).
Tahimik naman siya kanina nang pumila siya sa likuran nito. She didn't want him to know that she's just behind him, pero bigla naman itong lumingon. She had no choice but to smile and greet him.
She sighed. It's Monday. It should be a sin to look that impeccable.
Nagulat siya nang magyaya itong magkape. She wanted to say no, but it would seem rude kung tatanggihan niya ito sa harap ng mga empleyado nito. Hindi nga niya maintindihan kung bakit pumila pa ito. May elevator naman itong pwedeng gamitin, in case na may sira yung primary cars.
But that's just Vince. He doesn't treat himself like a CEO sometimes.
Lumabas sila ng building at naglakad patungo sa pinakamalapit na Starbucks. Vince told her to find seats habang umu-order ito. Makalipas ang ilang minuto ay bumalik ito na may dalang dalawang venti-sized cups of hot coffee. May kasama na ring pagkain sa tray.
"I took the liberty of ordering food. Hindi pa kasi ako nagbi-breakfast," dahilan nito.
"That's okay."
Kinuha niya yung cup na malapit sa kanya. Parehong pangalan ni Vince ang nakalagay sa dalawang cups. She took a sip. Muntik na niya iyong maibuga sa sobrang init. Agad niyang kinuha ang maliit na cup na may lamang tubig at saka iyon ininom.
"Careful, it's hot."
Napangiwi siya. Of course, it's hot. Bakit ba kasi hindi siya makahintay na uminom ng kape?
"Okay ka lang?" tanong nito sa kanya.
She nodded and gulped the remaining content of the small cup.
"Napaso yata ang dila ko."
Vince smiled. "Bakit kasi excited kang uminom ng kape?" naiiling nitong tanong. He took her cup and took off the lid, saka ito humingi ng straw. He stirred the coffee with the straw while blowing some air into it, para mapalamig ito. She just awkwardly stared at him while he's doing that. She didn't know why it made her uncomfortable.
When satisfied, Vince put the lid back on and gave her the coffee.
"I hope it's not too hot now," sabi nito.
"T-Thanks."
Buong ingat niyang kinuha ang kape, careful not to touch his fingers.
"Kumain ka rin." Itinulak nito ang isang plato ng tuna sandwiches palapit sa kanya.
Kunot-noo niya itong tiningnan. "Why are you being nice to me?"
"When was I not nice to you?" pabalik nitong tanong. Tapos ay parang may bigla itong naalala. "Oh, all right. Don't answer that."
Kinuha na lamang niya ang tuna sandwich at saka iyon kinain. Maybe the question was uncalled for. But what she really wanted to ask was what their conversation last Friday was about, pero wala syang lakas ng loob na magtanong.
But it seems like they're both thinking about the same thing.
"Moira," maya-maya'y tawag nito. "Are we ever going to talk about what happened last Friday?"