Hi and sorry. It has been a long time. Yeah. I know that. That's why I'm sorry.
I have a reasonable excuse. This year is my last year at school. And I need to focus on my studies more than other stuff although it's really difficult to leave wattpad. But this year is all I have rn.
So hope u guys understand. It might take long like really long for me to update. I promise. I'm not leaving this book. Or wattpad. Cuz, Wattpad is half of my life. I can't leave it. Ever.
🌷🌷🌷
Helena's pov
...........................
It has been 2 weeks since I woke up. After that day, Darius and I completely ignored each other. The only times I see him are also at the training, or a few times at lunch time or breakfast time. It's rare.
It made Mara and Eden crazy. They long for their mate as does Elvina although she never whines or anything. She remains silent as always, but I can feel her pain.
As much as I don't want to admit it out loud, I miss that stupid Asspha too. But all of this is just for the best. Because he doesn't want a rogue mate. And I can't even have a mate. So avoiding each other will just be the best.
Another thing is that I still haven't healed. The self attack must have been really bad then I guess. But the thing is that I have been through worse pain than this. I have got beatings much worse than this. And I did heal from most of it. Then why am I not healing that fast anymore? I'm healing at a rate which is faster than a human healing rate, but slower than a normal werewolf healing rate. Normally, I would heal thrice faster than a strong werewolf. So what's happening now is new to me.
I also hate needing other people's help with doing stuff at times. I was so used to doing everything on my own.
"girls!" a very excited Sofia ran into the room. "why so excited?" I asked.
"I found my mateeeee!" she shrieked. "holy cow!? Really? Bitch that's great!" Veronica exclaimed.
"I know! Guess who he is bitchesss?" Sofia smirked.
"Evan?" I raised an eyebrow.
"ewww no way!"
"Alec?"
"Ronald?"
"Nick Bateman?" Veronica laughed. "I wish." Sofia pouted.
"wait... is it Leo?" Isabelle wiggled her brows. Almost instantly, Sofia turned red. "Fuck! Really? He is back?!" Veronica jumped from her sofa. "yeah. He is talking to Dar and the guys right now." Sofia said.
"that jerk! I'm going to crush his bones! He took all of my story books before he left!" Veronica ran out of the room. "fuck." Sofia muttered. "a little help please? We need to stop this war."
Sofia helped me follow Veronica. Just as we arrived at the living room, we saw Veronica strangling a guy while Asher tried to pull her away. The new guy, I think is Leo.
That woman is damn strong.
Other guys just sat there laughing their asses off. Even Darius.
"please help." Sofia pouted at me.
I walked towards Veronica. "sorry, Ver. But let go of him." I ordered. Almost instantly she let go and Leo started coughing his ass off. Veronica looked at me confused. "wh-why did you do that?"
"I asked her to. Besides you are trying to kill my mate." Sofia pointed out. Veronica huffed and moved away from Leo. She was pouting like a baby.
"come on, babe. Lighten up a bit." Asher chuckled wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her to his chest.
Oh how I wish I can have a normal life with my mate. Like them. Act cute and say loving things to each other. But I can't. Me and Darius could never.
"oh come on! That's so disgusting! Eww! Stop calling her babe!" Leo faked a gag. "y-you!!! You piece of shit! How dare you say that! I'll see how you and Sof act! I'm pretty sure you both can't get your hands off each other!" Veronica yelled.
"oh hush! You are such a disgusting pig!" Leo yelled.
"no you are! You are a gorilla!!! I'm telling you! You really are a g-o-r-i-l-l-a!! GORILLAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
"whoaaah! Calm down sis. I did bring those books back! They are in my bag! I promise you!"
"well I'm still gonna kill you! Yo-"
"well then I'll have to give the dork diaries collection I brought with Rachel Renee Russell's signature on them to someone els..." What Leo said really got Veronica's attention.
The next thing we saw was Veronica push Asher away and run back to Leo and started strangling him... again.
"s-so-sorry. S-sis. I- I w-on-t... g-give it to a-ny-one-.. el-se than y-you." Leo chocked. Almost instantly Veronica let go of him. "they are for me then?!"
"well yeah. They we-"
"oh. My god!! You are the best little bro ever! I love you! I love you so much! So freaking much!" Veronica hugged him. "can't... breath, Ver."
"oops sorry. Give the books."
"be patient, sis."
Oh so they are siblings.
..........................
Another week later
I was sitting down at the dock. I still haven't healed fully. But I'm better than before now. I can do things on my own now. But I get slight pain in my abdomen at times. Not to mention the huge scar there.
As I sat there I couldn't stop thinking about the turn my life has taken. Everything is different from what I thought they were in a pack.
Sure, there are many who are against and despise my kind. I mean rogues. But there are also a few who actually like me. And care for me.
I always believed that only hypocrites live in pack. I always believed that they are stupid and useless. Dumb.
But they aren't really like that.
So yeah, this is different. I closed my eyes and sighed. I'm still trapped in the dark side of my life. There is absolutely nothing I can do. I know that one day, Darco and Xavier will come to take me. They WILL take me. That day will come.
I know that. I know it will happen.
I might have power, I might be strong, I might have 3 or 4 beasts. I might have almost equal power to the Alpha King. But those people, Darco and his pack. They know almost everything about me. They know my strengths and weaknesses. They know my techniques.
They know everything. Therefore, I can't run forever. I know it. But I can't help trying to.
I'm such a coward, aren't I? I'm always on run. Running away is all I do.
My way of facing problems. My way of problems.. is causing even more problems. It's an endless circle.
"Stubborogue. Whatcha thinking about?"
Startled, I turned around and looked behind me. And there he was leaning against a tree. His arms folded across his chest causing his his biceps to bulge. He was wearing a black shirt and a denim jacket. His hair was messy. And he had a smirk across his lips that made butterflies erupt in my stomach. And oh those eyes. Those magnificent sapphire blue eyes. They seem to pierce through my soul. It was like he can see through me.
Damn that's hot.
"Asspha." I muttered acknowledging him.
"you didn't ans my question, Stubborogue." he stated. "why do you ask?" I asked. "hmm. Don't know. You looked like you are in deep thoughts. Your eyebrows furrowed. You eyes narrowed. Your lips pouted. Your face a bit red- if I don't know you any better I would think you are thinking of something nasty." he smirked.
My eyes widened in horror. "You motherfuck-"
He started chuckling. "calm down, Stubborogue. You get irritated so easily."
"fucking hilarious bitch! Haaa haaa haaa! I'm laughing! You see that? It's so fucking funny!" I growled at him. He only laugh harder. I glared at him.
"why are you talking to me?!" I asked. "is it a sin? Talking to you?" he raised a brow smiling at me.
"I didn't say that, Asspha. I'm just confused. You are always cold and always mad at me. So why are you talking to me? Or even making fun of me? And why are you even here?"
He just smiled at me. "you'll know. Soon." was all he said. He turned around and started walking away.
"hello! Hey! Ass fucking Pha! Where are you going? Why are you leaving all of a sudden? You didn't even answer my question!" I pointed out.
"sorry, Stubborogue. Duty calls!" he replied without turning around to face me.
"you meant booty calls, right?" I said sarcastically.
"who knows?" when he said that, I could literally hear the smirk in his voice.
"whatever." I muttered.
"are you jealous?"
"why would I be?"
"oh you know why."
"just leave."
"you are right. I can't be late for the booty c- I mean.. Duty calls." he chuckled and left.
"nasty piece of shit." I growled to myself.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
2 Days before
Darius's pov
It has been almost 4 weeks since that day. The day she hurt herself. Sure, I have been avoiding her. But I keep a good eye on her. I don't want her to hurt herself again.
The thought of her hurting herself or being hurt even a little bit gives me a weird feeling in my chest, at the pit of my stomach. It makes me feel things I don't like. Things I have never felt in such a long time.
Fear.
I don't like feeling it. It gives me a sense of uncertainty.
Although Helena never told me anything about her, although she is like a mystery to me, she could never hide the fact that she is in great danger from me. I know it. I can feel it. That she is in danger.
I can see that she has been through a lot. Sure, I believe that rogues are vicious creatures. But looking at her, I can see that her viciousness is not simply because of her being a rogue. I have started to see more than that.
Her viciousness is just a survival instinct. Her viciousness seems to be learned from experience. It's like she has been through something that made her vicious. I know how it works. I know it from my own experience.
Yes, I did despise her a lot. But I guess, she is more than what I thought she is. She is more than just a simple rogue. There is a weird spark around her that makes her different from other rogues. I can sense something innocent deep inside her.
Maybe she might not be very innocent. She might have killed thousands and played with people's lives. She might not have the best behaviour. But... her heart is what's innocent. Her heart is pure. Her heart is fragile.
But her brain isn't.
I don't know what she has been through. But I can tell that whatever it is, it turned her into who she is today. It took the innocence of her mind.
I know that I didn't want her because she is a rogue. But I have been waiting for my mate ever since I turned 18. I didn't date or get involved in any kind of relationship like that. Because all I ever truly wanted was a mate. I wanted to live with my mate faithfully.
I never expected my mate to be a rogue. I still remember what I thought when I first saw her. She was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She was unconscious at that moment. There was an arrow in her chest. Her eyes were closed.
Her beauty was something rare. It reminded me of my mother. The most beautiful woman I have ever seen is my mother. Helena somehow reminded me of her. Even through her unconscious state, I could tell that she is a fierce woman. A warrior at heart. Like my mom.
It allured me even more to her. Everything about her was perfect. So so perfect. Flawless pale skin, red pouty lips. Midnight black hair. Long lashes from her closed eyes that casted shadows on her cheeks. Thick eyebrows. Small button nose. And her rosy cheeks.
Then there was her scent. Lavender and ocean breeze with a hint of mint. Absolutely mouth watering.
It was like she was an angel that has fallen on earth. She was perfect.
Seeing her stabbed by an arrow like that caused me to snap. It almost sent me on a rampage. I remember running towards her like a mad man. But as soon as I did, something about scent became more noticeable to me.
The scent of dirt. But it was only barely visible. Almost unnoticeable. That's when it hit me like a brick. My mate was a rogue. She wasn't perfect after all.
I remember being shocked about it, then being mad. Feeling helpless. Everytime I looked at her angelic face, I started to remember the cause of my mom's death. Rogues.
My hatred towards her started then. I didn't want to help her. I didn't want her near my sister either. But they got closer. They became best friends right in front of me. I didn't understand what my sister saw in her.
So I kept my eyes on her. Slowly, slowly, I started to see past her facade. That she is hurting. That she is broken.
I saw that she is an enigma. I saw past her imperfections, I saw that her imperfections made her still perfect. Her imperfections made her who she is. It's a part of herself.
Past few days, these are all I have been thinking about. Her.
Everytime I think, I realise how stupid of a person I am for not wanting her just because she is a rogue.
While I locked myself in the dungeon, slowly slowly, it dawned into me that there must be a reason why the moon goddess made her my mate. And me hers. There must be a reason. Maybe it's for the best of both of us. For us to help each other.
Ever since I realised that, all I wanted was to apologise to her, earn her forgiveness and start over.
But that came to an end. When I heard her say those words to my sister.
I remember going to visit her after I heard that she woke up. I was worried that she wouldn't forgive me. I was curious. I wanted to know why she attacked herself. I was so worried for her.
But my footsteps came to a halt when I heard her talk to my sister. I couldn't help but eavesdrop on them.
"sorry." I heard Helena mutterr. "for what?" Sofia asked her.
"because of me, your brother felt pain. And he lost control and attacked everyone. And now is locked in the cell." she replied. I could literally hear the pain in her voice.
"don't say that, Heli. You are his mate." Sofia's reply made me smile. But then I heard those words that broke my heart.
"I'm sorry. I can't be his mate. He doesn't want me because I'm a rogue. And I don't want him either because I simply don't want a mate." Helena's words left a bitter taste in my heart. She is right. I didn't want her because she was a rogue. But that was before. Now, I don't care if she's a rogue. I want her. I need her.
"wh-why?" my sister asked Helena softly. I waited for Helena's answer. I really wanted to know why she doesn't want a mate. Why can't she be with me?
"I just can't." I heard her sigh. I could sense sadness rolling off her.
She can't? Why? Why can't she? What's stopping her?
"ok then. But we are still friends right?" Sofia asked. "yes. We..." I didn't listen to the rest of the conversation.
I left.
Later that day, I went to visit her while she was asleep. I remember pressing a feather light kiss to her forehead before leaving.
I was determined to make her mine. I'm not stopping this time. I already wasted so much time trying to hate her. But not anymore.
I'm gonna be her second shadow.
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
So how is this book so far? Please give me a little bit of your thoughts on this book. I find them inspirational to continue it.
What do you think of...
Helena?
Darren?
Leo?
Sofia?
Quinn🌷