A/N: hey I just have to put a trigger warning out before this chapter for violence and assault. Just fair warning to read with caution.
***
I had no sense of time in the darkened cell, unable to discern the start of a new day or its end. At first I tried counting, only able to reach 3,000 before I fell asleep, reaching the point of exhaustion where I could barely keep my eyes open. I awoke sometime later on the sad mattress that did nothing to cushion the metal frame beneath, achy and throat still sore, my stomach rumbling with hunger and my throat dry. I rose from the bed and blindly made my way to the sink of the cell, using it to drink water which I was thankful that I could not really see in the dark, it tasted terrible.
Seconds minutes and hours passed of me in the cell, sitting on the bed, my back to the cement wall, hugging my knees tightly. I tried to reassure myself at first that things were going to be okay somehow, just as Bucky had said, but as the time passed and the darkness continued I was beginning to lose hope. My options were limited and I knew that eventually Dimitri would be coming for an answer to his question. I fell asleep, hungry and thirsty, feeling exhausted and scared, two more times before something finally happened.
I was awoken by the loud metallic sound of the cell door opening, my eyes snapping open and blinking against the harsh light that flooded in from the illuminated corridor. I raised my hand to shield my eyes and licked my dry chapped lips, turning my head from the light. I still felt weak and tired despite knowing that I had been asleep for a few hours at least, no doubt the result of the lack of food and water. I tried to drink the water from the sink as little as possible, afraid of what I might contract from it, knowing that it was likely contaminated water.
"Goodmorning домашнее животное," Dimitri's voice echoed in the corridor before he stepped into the cell allowing me to see him.
I said nothing, only scooted back on the bed until my back hit the wall and drew my knees up to my chest. Dimitri continued his approach to the bed, a cocky smile on his face, sitting on the edge right near me.
"Are you hungry?" He asked gently, his voice confusingly sincere.
I wanted to spit at him, to tell him to fuck off and that I would accept nothing from him; but my growling stomach betrayed me. I needed to eat something if I was going to have any strength, although strength for what I wasn't sure.
I gave a single nod and his smile widened. "актив!" Dimitri barked, turning his head toward the open cell door.
My heart fluttered at the sight of Bucky entering the cell, holding a tray, the same cold dead stare in his eyes. He walked right to the bed and set the tray on the foot of it, the light from the hallway allowing me to see that there was a sandwich and cup of milk sitting on it. I practically lunged for the tray, eating the sandwich greedily between gulps of milk. Dimitri watched me with amusement, chuckling to himself. I finished the sandwich and the milk in record time, embarrassed at my own actions and giving in to Dimitri's offerings so easily, I knew I would have to pay for his 'kindness' somehow.
"Aww my little minx was hungry," he cooed, touching my leg, which I promptly snatched out of his reach. It only made him laugh more.
I couldn't stop myself from looking at Bucky, my stomach twisting as I saw him standing at attention near the cell door, waiting for his next orders. They had changed his clothes, he was wearing tactical gear now, his metal arm completely exposed, the sleeve cut off the black jacket he wore, something that I wasn't used to as he usually wore long sleeves. Those blue eyes were still empty and his face looked hardened, tired. I wanted to jump out of the bed and run into his arms, hug and hold him until he remembered me, until he snapped out of whatever the hell they had done to him.
Dimitri noticed me watching, looking between the two of us. "Have you missed him?"
I turned my gaze on Dimitri, saying nothing.
"I thought it would be nice to have him come in and let you say goodbye," he continued, his smile widening.
I felt my face fall. My voice was hoarse when I spoke. "G-goodbye?"
"Yes, he is off on a ....well let's call it a welcome back mission if you will," Dimitri looked at Bucky. "He's going to go say hello to some old friends." I didn't like the sound of that. I had an idea of what he meant before he elaborated. "He will be paying a visit to Captain America."
I knew what he was getting at despite his vague jokes. "You think James is going to kill Steve? His best friend? " I said incredulously. I knew I was being bold, but the words came out before I could stop them.
"He will if ordered too," Dimitri replied coldly. "Have you not yet learned he is under my complete control? I thought that we had gone over this lesson. Shall I give you another demonstration?"
I tensed, gripping my knees tighter. My mouth was going to get me in trouble. My lips shut tightly and I shook my head. I didn't want him to use Bucky to hurt me again.
"I see you are learning," Dimitri said, the smile returning to his face. "Does that mean you have considered my offer?"
It wasn't much of an offer. I remained silent. There was no right answer. He would do what he pleased and I got the impression that this was all sick fun for him now and he would end up killing me eventually anyway.
"Perhaps you need some persuasion?" He grinned, scooting closer to me on the bed. "Perhaps you need me to show you how nice I can be?"
I tensed again, my eyes darting to Bucky, who still hadn't even glanced in my general direction. Dimitri observed my glance, looking over his shoulder at Bucky, before shaking his head and clicking his tongue at me.
"Oh, домашнее животное," he said softly. "He's no longer on your side. He's mine. He does not care what happens to you."
Without warning he reached out, grabbing a handful of my curls at the root and dragged me off the bed right onto the hard cement floor. I hit the ground with a scream and he held me there, pain shot through my face as it smashed against the ground and he knelt beside me. Bucky didn't move a muscle.
"See?" Dimitri motioned to Bucky. "He doesn't care." He added more pressure to his hand, forcing me harder against the ground making me cry out in pain. "I could do whatever I wanted to you and he wouldn't even bat an eye."
He yanked my upper body up, pulling my hair until my head was forced all the way back, straining my neck. I felt fear take a hold of me, my heart racing in my chest and my eyes watering as I looked at him helplessly.
"You. Are. Mine. Now," he enunciated each word clearly and slowly. "Understand?"
"Y-Yes," I stuttered in a cracked and strained voice. I felt sick. Ashamed at my own cowardice. I should be fighting. I should have done something rather than give in to his whims and demands.
"That's right. Now are you going to be a good girl?" He asked, his other hand tracing his fingers down my jawline.
I remained silent, he yanked again, harder. I screamed in pain.
"I asked you a question."
"Yes," the word fell from my lips quickly in a pained whisper.
"I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear that," he leaned in close, so that my lips were right near his ear. "Say that again."
My teeth clenched. "Yes," I repeated.
"Good. Good girl," he whispered, turning his head so that he was looking down at me, his eyes on my lips.
I felt my stomach turn as he began to lean in. I tried to turn my head, my body squirming, but not too much in fear of what he would do or make Bucky do. I gritted my teeth and shut my eyes, feeling the warmth of his breath on my face, smelling the scent of liquor and mint. I felt the brush of his lips on my bottom lip first, until he forced my head forward by my hair and his lips were on mine fully. I remained stiff and unmoving, lips shut tight and whimpers echoing from my throat as he held his lips to mine and I felt the wetness of his tongue sweep across my lips. I couldn't help, but gag at the attempted intrusion of his tongue. Relief washed over me when he finally pulled away, my hand coming up quickly to wipe my mouth, disgust written all over my face.
"Playing hard to get eh? That's okay. I like my girls with some fight in them," He chuckled, gripping my hair tighter again until I cried out in pain. "Shall we give актив a show?" He ran his lips along my cheek as he spoke in a whisper. "Make him watch as I take you and show him who really is in charge?" He stood and dragged me to my feet with him, releasing his hold on my hair which had me stumbling backwards forcing me to catch myself on the wall behind me. "Take off your clothes."
My heart skipped a beat in my chest. "W-what?" I had heard him clearly, but it was the only words I could choke out.
The grin left his face and I was met with a cold stare. "You heard me."
My eyes grew watery instantly and I shook my head, what little boldness and courage I had leaving me. "No...p-please."
He pulled his handgun from the holster, cocking it before aiming at me. "I won't repeat myself."
This can't be happening. This cannot be happening. My hands shook as I reached for the hem of my shirt, fear and panic taking me over as I started to raise it over my head. The tears slid down from my eyes warmly, feeling utterly defeated and humiliated when I pulled the material over my head and it dropped to the floor. I paused then, my eyes on the floor, my body shaking with the sobs, unable to look at either of the men in the cell.
"Pants too. Come on," Dimitri urged.
I couldn't help, but look at Bucky then, seeing him unphased and unmoving, standing still as a statue, his eyes on the wall in front of him.
Please snap out of it. Please look at me. Please.
More tears slid down my cheeks and shaking hands gripped the waistband of my sweats. It was then that I heard and felt it, the sound of an explosion, one strong enough that it felt like the cement cell rocked around us, almost knocking us all off of our feet. Dimitri froze for just a second, his eyes wide, a hint of fear on his face and then he was moving for the door.
"Come with me актив," Dimitri called over his shoulder. "Lock her in."
Bucky turned on his heel walking quickly out the door and slamming it shut behind him before I could think of moving or trying to stop them. I heard the locks slide into place as I hurriedly put my shirt back on and rushed to the cell door, pressing my ear against it and hearing their fast paced footsteps up the hall. Another explosion rang down the hall, followed by the sounds of rapid gun fire and anguished cries. I pressed myself into the door, straining to hear and felt hope brim within me, praying that the explosions and gunfire meant someone was here to rescue us.
"Milady Jade?!"
Milady?
"Easy with the 'Milady' stuff there point break, it's basically the equivalent of 'ma'am' and no woman wants to be called 'ma'am'. Jade! Oh Jade, where are you?" The second voice called. "Please be alive or Cap is gonna kill me..." it was said in a sing-song voice.
I recognized the second voice immediately as Tony Stark's. "I'm in here! Here! Please, I'm here!" I shouted continuously banging on the cell door.
There were more hurried footsteps, one set sounding metallic, and then the locks were turning, the door screeching open to reveal Thor. In all his glorious armor and holding Mjolnir, his long hair reaching his shoulders and a relieved and friendly smile on his face.
"Ah, Milady Jade, I am glad to have found you. It is good to see you again," he said, stepping towards me. "Are you well?"
Again? Oh right. We had met the night that I had met Bucky, I just didn't remember. Apparently it was him and his Asgardian alcohol that was the reason for this whole mess to begin with. Tony stepped into view from behind the broad shoulders of Thor, in full Iron Man armor although the face plate was up revealing his concerned expression.
"Cap, we found Jade and we're getting her out," Tony said absently and I realized he was talking into his comm. He moved around Thor and came close to me. His eyes roamed over me assessing me for damage. "Jade, you alright? Do you need medical attention?"
I was still shaking. "I'm fine. I just need to get the fuck out of here."
Tony nodded. "Point Break get her out of here. We'll regroup at the quinjet." His face plate slid back into place as he backed out of the cell, his thrusters fired and he levitated off the ground before he jetted off down the hall.
Thor stepped toward me and I flinched, anxiety wrapping around me like a blanket. Thor stopped and raised a hand in the air, his face softening. "I won't hurt you."
It was nothing that he had done. It was my surroundings and everything that I had endured lingering around me. "I know... I just..it's been a hard few days..." my eyes got watery again and I wiped at them. "Please just get me out of here."
"Would you permit me to carry you, Lady Jade?"
I hesitated. "Umm..."
He swept me into his arms wedding style before getting a real answer, still managing to hold his ginormous hammer in one hand and me as though I weighed nothing. Thor turned out of the cell and it was then I saw that there was a large hole in the wall, large enough for a god and an Iron Man to fit through. That must have been the most recent explosion. He began walking towards the hole, away from the stairs and away from the sound of gunfire and loud noises and yelling.
"Thor, wait, where's James?"
Thor blinked. "Who?"
"James! You know-I mean Bucky! Where is Bucky?"
"Oh you speak of Sergeant Barnes! I do not know, Lady Jade, I was assigned to find and protect you until we got back to the Quinjet. The Captain, Stark, and Falcon will be handling Sergeant Barnes."
"Thor stop! We're not leaving him right? Thor we cannot leave without Bucky!" I said desperately.
Thor paused in his walking at the desperation in my voice and he looked down at me with a big smile, reminding me very much of a giant blonde Labrador for some reason. "I assure you Lady Jade, Captain Rogers would rather die than leave Sergeant Barnes here in this place. We will not leave without him. Now may we continue to the quinjet?"
Right. Steve and Bucky. The epic bromance. I nodded, prompting Thor to continue, hesitating when I looked over my shoulder and saw that we were high up on a second or third floor to whatever building we were in. All I could see outside was a forest of snowy trees and mountains. How the hell are we going to get out of-.
"Hold me tightly, Lady Jade. Do not be afraid."
"Wait, what are we-?"
He begun swinging Mjolnir in his hand, so quickly that it propelled us out into the open air. I gasped in surprise, and then screamed, loudly, right into the poor God's ear. My arms wrapped around Thor's neck chokingly tight, shutting my eyes and burying my face into his shoulder against the gush of wind as we soared through the air. Soon his feet hit the ground and he lowered me carefully to mine, keeping both hands on my hips to hold me steadily. I was still shaking, looking up at him with a scowl.
"Warning,Thor. A warning would have been good," I said.
"My apologies, Lady Jade," he smirked. I continued to scowl. He motioned behind me. "Please have a seat on the quinjet."
I turned to find the Quinjet behind me, large and black, and sitting in the middle of a clearing in the snowy woods, with the bay door open. A middle aged man with greying dark and wild curls stood inside the bay. He wore glasses and he pushed them up the bridge of his nose as I walked onto the Quinjet. He held out a hand to me, a nervous quirky smile on his face.
"Ms. Johnson, I am Bruce Banner. Dr. Bruce Bann- just call me Bruce please," I took the hand he offered and shook it. I was still shaking, my stomach rolling. I attributed it to the flying. "Are you alright? Do you need medical attention of any kind?"
"No, no, I am fine," I shook my head and looked around the quinjet, unsure of what to do until Bruce touched the small of my back gently and hesitantly, I still tensed at his touch, motioning to a row of seats.
"Please, have a seat, I am sure that you have been through...quite an experience, being held here for 4 days," he said.
FOUR DAYS? I gaped at him as I sank into a seat. "I'm sorry did you say 'four days'?"
Bruce looked unsure, before turning back to look at Thor as though he had the answer. Thor shrugged. "Yes, I was told it had been four days since they took you and Sergeant Barnes."
I put my head in my hands. Four days? What the hell was I going to tell my parents and my job? How was I supposed to go back to anything that resembled normal after this? After I had been kidnapped and assaulted and...and...and...
"Ms. Johnson? Can I get you some water?"
"Please, call me Jade," I said, there was a snap to my voice, it sounded irritated. I looked up at Bruce apologetically and forced myself to check my tone. None of this was his fault. "I'm sorry, yes, please, I'd like some water. Thank you."
Bruce nodded once and walked away as I put my head back in my hands. I felt like I was in shock, I was still shaking and the more I tried to focus on my breathing, the more I realized that it was getting harder. It felt like my throat was closing and there was a two ton boulder sitting on my chest.
I stood, gasping for air and prompting Bruce and Thor to approach me quickly, concern etched on their faces.
"Lady Jade, are you alright?"
"I-I think she's having a panic attack."
Their voices sounded muffled and the edges of my vision were going black. I was still struggling to breathe, I could hear the faint sounds of my gasping, mixed with the steady thrum of my own heart beat in my ears. I felt two sets of hands on my arms and the world started to spin before going completely dark.
***
"Jade?"
The voice was feminine and familiar, startling familiar. I was suddenly back in my childhood home, sitting at the kitchen table, eating pancakes while my mom's voice sang my name in the sing-song way that made me giggle.
"Jade? Honey, can you hear me?"
I was suddenly conscious again, feeling my face scrunch up as my eyes blinked open and was met with harsh light. I blinked a few more times until they adjusted and my mothers face came into clear view. Her eyes were red and puffy, tears still on her face and a small smile on her lips.
"M-Mom?" I stuttered in surprise. What the hell is going on? Where the hell am I? What the hell happened?
It all came rushing back like a wave crashing over me, Bucky, the motel, Dimitri, the cell, Thor and Tony Stark rescuing me. James. I sat up quickly, looking around to see that I was in a hospital room, in a bed, attached to IV and monitors, and not only was my mom present so was Iris and my dad. They both were asleep in chairs at my bedside. I could see that it was night through the open windows in the room, showing the New York City night scape.
My moms arms came around me tightly, making me jump. "Oh thank god you are alright honey," she whispered. "It's been two days. They said you were fine, traumatized, dehydrated and starved, but you would be okay. That your body just needed rest and you would wake up of course, but the more time passed we grew worried."
Two days? I shook my head, pulling back from her. "Mom, how did I get here?"
"Well we got a call that you had been brought into the hospital and Iris and your father and I rushed down here and Tony Stark was with you- I had no idea you knew someone so famous honey- and he said that you had been kidnapped? I was so scared when Iris called and said you were missing. We dropped everything and came out, we made flyers, we were working with the police. I told you that I hate you living in this big old city. I know you have Iris and all, but there is so much crime-."
"Mom!" I cut in. She tended to ramble, especially when worried. She blinked at me in surprise. I didnt mean to yell. I would never raise my voice to my mother, she was a kindhearted soft spoken woman, but she had never shied from proper discipline when necessary. And even as a grown 27 year old woman I was still afraid of my mothers stern glare and tone. "Mom, sorry, it's been...well its been hell...but is Tony still here? Did he say anything else? Did he mention..." I hesitated worried about saying too much about something my mother probably shouldnt know. I wasnt sure how much Iris had told my mom or Tony, and I was not about to mention all the mess that was brought forth by my one night stand. "Did he mention a fr-...a guy named James at all? Is he here?"
My mother looked puzzled. "No...who is James?"
"Uh..."
"Jade?!"
I jumped again at the sound of Iris' loud voice echoing in the room, waking my father also who looked around startled. She was out of her chair and in bed with me in less than a second, wrapping her arms around me and squeezing me tightly, too tight. I was struggling to breathe.
"Oh my god you beautiful bitch I was so worried about you! How could you do this to me? Put me through all that worry. I could absolutely murder you right now!" Iris said.
"Iris! Watch your mouth!" My mother sighed.
***
My parents and Iris didn't know much, only that I was taken hostage by a terrorist suspect and held in another country for multiple days for a ransom against the Avengers. It was mostly a fabrication, and my parents didn't understand what made me so special to the Avengers, but Tony had written it off as a wrong place wrong time thing as the reason I had been taken. Tony had left out everything about Bucky and for that I was grateful. That was a story that I wasn't ready to share with my parents. I hadn't gotten to talk to Tony myself, he had been gone by the time that I had woken up and while I wanted to find some way to contact him, to ask him about Bucky, to make sure that he was okay, I had no idea how to do that.
The hospital decided to keep me for a few more days, for observation and to make sure that I was in good health and that the effects of dehydration and starvation were long gone. My parents and Iris had left for a short while the next morning, to go back to our apartment and shower and dress before coming back leaving me alone. I was grateful for the break. My parents were hovering and Iris was clingy, all of them shaken by the fact that I had been kidnapped although I had been quiet about what had actually happened to me and about what I had seen. I wasn't ready to talk about it, even though something far worse could have happened - was about to happen- to me at Dimitri's hand I was still shaken by what had happened.
I was lying in the hospital bed, curled up and trying to think about anything but the feeling of Dimitri's lips on mine, which made my skin crawl and my stomach turn. I hadnt slept well at all, my dreams plagued with Dimitri's face. I was trying to put on a brave face for my parents and Iris who were worried enough, but knew that I wouldnt be getting Dimitri out of my head for a long time.
I heard the sound of my room door opening and I looked up to find Steve entering the room. I sat up at the sight of him, looking at him in surprise. He was dressed casually in dark jeans and a blue tee shirt and black jacket over it and a baseball cap on his head. Captain America incognito mode. He was holding flowers.
"Hey Jade," he said with a nervous smile approaching the bed. He offered me the flowers. "These are for you."
I took them, breathing in their smell before setting them aside. "Thank you..."
"I just wanted to come and-," Steve started.
"Where is James? Is he alright? Did you get him out too?" I interrupted him, asking the questions hurriedly, my voice was too high, too desperate. But I needed to know.
Steve looked uneasy, shifting on his feet. "Jade, I dont know how much Bucky told you or what happened to you while you were held-."
I huffed. "Oh you want to know what happened to me? Well let's see, I was forced to watch Dimitri wipe James' memory and turn him into a mindless soldier who stood by quietly while Dimitri assaulted me physically and then attempted to assault me sexually."
Steve's face fell, he looked horrified. "Oh god Jade. I'm so sorry-."
"It doesn't matter. Is James alright?"
Steve hesitated again, coming closer and sitting on the edge of the bed right near me. "Bucky is fine. But he's not himself. We had to...well he had to take him some place to get him better and...we aren't sure how long he is going to be there."
I felt my stomach sink. "Oh...so he's on ice again?"
Steve seemed mildly surprised, as though Bucky sharing that information with me was unexpected. "Yes. He's on ice until the hydra programming is removed again and we get him back to the old him."
I asked meekly. "Did...did he remember anything before the programming? Did he remember you?"
Steve's face softened and he shook his head, just once, his blue eyes on his boots. He exhaled softly. "He didn't remember me."
And if he doesnt remember his own best friend... " Then he definitely wont remember me..." I finished the thought aloud. "And there's no guarantee that he ever will...is there?"
Steve's blue eyes were on me suddenly. "There's a chance...his memories came back before...but it will take time..."
I nodded, feeling my eyes watering. I wiped at them with the back of my hand, not wanting to cry in front of Captain America. I couldn't think of anything to say, the fact that after everything that I endured I ended up without Bucky in the end, was a hard realization that felt like a punch in the gut. A tear escaped and I swiped at it, shaking my head. Steve saw and his arms were suddenly around me, pulling me in against his broad muscular chest, and holding me. I tensed against him, but allowed him to hold me, finding some comfort in his touch.
His embrace only opened the flood gates and I was suddenly sobbing in his arms, crying about everything that had happened, the things that Dimitri had done, and most of all about Bucky. There had been no guarantee that Bucky and I would have ended up together. I didnt believe in fate or falling in love so quickly and easily, but I had thought that at least in the end we would have a chance; a chance to turn this mess that we had endured into something that had made the whole situation worth it even if just for a short while. And the thought of Bucky having to start over after he had come so far, broke my heart for him.
"I hope me hugging you is okay," Steve said. "You... you looked like you needed one."
I sniffled, noticing the wet spot my tears had left on his chest. "It's fine."
"If Bucky were here he'd apologize for all of this...for everything that you went through...He would feel terrible if he hurt you," Steve said softly, one large hand rubbing my back. "I know you only knew each other a short time, but he cared for you."
I nodded against his chest. "How...how long will he be gone?"
"3 months? Maybe 6? I don't know Jade. His recovery was very long last time and..." he sighed. "I wish I had better news for you."
I finally pulled back from his warm embrace, sighing and reaching for some tissue at my bedside. "I'm sorry for crying."
"No, don't apologize, please," Steve said. "After everything you've been through..." he shook his head. "You deserve to cry and a whole lot more."
"So now what? I just...go back to my life? My job? If I even have one still..."
"Well, there's something else I need to tell you. Dimitri...got away."
I gaped at Steve, my stomach sinking again, the two ton boulder creeping back up on my chest. I shut my eyes and immediately saw that monsters face with his green eyes, smiling at me, felt the phantom pressure of his hold on my curls. I shook my head and took a few deep breaths. He got away. I felt a pain in my chest and put my hand there, feeling my heart thrum and against my sternum. You're okay, Jade. You're okay.
"There is always the possibility that he would come after you again, to get to Bucky, or just to get revenge, but we have all of the Avengers team looking for him and we will find him, Jade. I promise. After what he did to Bucky...to you ...he deserves to rot in a cell for the rest of his life."
He deserves to die, I thought bitterly. But I wasn't going to say that to Steve.
I opened my eyes and found Steve watching me. "I'm going to protect you, Jade, until Buck comes back. I promise that I won't let anything happen to you," he said in that reassuring voice of his, he reached out and touched my arm and I tensed again. He noticed, and withdrew from me with an apologetic smile before continuing. "Bucky may not have remembered you, but I know if he had, he would have asked me to make sure that you were safe. So until Dimitri is found, expect for me to be a permanent fixture in your life."
Having Captain America himself promise to make sure nothing happened to me was reassuring, but still there was a sense of dread that crept along my skin before burying itself inside of me, deep down, where I knew it would sit until Dimitri was captured