SEVEN, garden gnomes galore
❀ ✿ ❀ ✿
IF THERE WAS ONE thing that Aster regretted from the past hour, it was putting her backpack on the overhead shelf. Now they had nothing with them; just their weapons—though Grover lost his tin can projectiles—and Annabeth's hat which Percy had managed to keep ahold of.
Aster could still hear the explosion ringing in her ears. She might've been in shock.
Annabeth kept dragging them along, giving them words of encouragement: "Come on! The farther away we get, the better."
Aster felt the comforting touch of a branch on her back, guiding her gently to walk next to Percy.
"All our money was back there," Percy reminded her. "Our food and clothes. Everything."
Aster shot him a glare. "Well, maybe if you hadn't decided to jump into the fight—"
"What did you want me to do? Let you get killed?" Percy's sea green eyes met hers expectantly.
"You didn't need to protect me, Percy. I would've been fine."
"Sliced like sandwich bread," Grover added, "but fine."
"Shut up, goat boy," Aster said. Annabeth didn't say anything, just kept trudging along the path. Neither of them were damsels in distress, needing a hero to come save them. They were the heroes.
Grover brayed mournfully. "Tin cans... a perfectly good bag of tin cans."
"Is that all you think about at all times?" Annabeth asked. Grover just bleated something incoherent, and they kept moving across the mushy ground.
Aster sensed every root in the ground and avoided them while Annabeth, Percy, and Grover followed her. She made sure to listen to the trees near her, looking out for a warning in case Mrs. Dodds was still after them.
After a few minutes, Aster fell into line next to Percy. "Look, I..." Her voice faltered. "I do appreciate your coming back for us, okay? You didn't have to do that. It was really... brave."
Percy gave her a half-smile. "We're a team, right?"
Aster hesitated, looking through the trees beyond them. "It's just that if you died—aside from the fact that it would really suck for you—it would mean the quest was over. I may have had mixed feelings about it in the beginning, but I want to see this through. Besides, this may be my only chance to see the real world."
The thunderstorm had finally let up. The city glow faded behind them, leaving the four of them in almost total darkness.
"You haven't left Camp Half-Blood since you were seven?" Percy asked her.
Aster shook her head. "Nope. Only short field trips, but those were hardly anything, maybe a few hours supervised in a coffee shop or a Home Depot. My dad—"
"The florist," Percy cut in.
"Yeah," Aster nodded, "he... he sort of left me. I don't know if he wanted to go or not, but he did. Camp Half-Blood is my home. At camp you train and train and train and train— And that's all cool and everything, but the real world is where the monsters are. That's where you learn whether you're any good or not. Demeter's never had any sort of quest or champion, and I just want to make my siblings proud." Her voice wavered, but luckily Percy didn't mention it.
"You're pretty good with that knife," he said.
"You think so?" Aster smiled.
Percy cracked a grin. "Anybody who can piggyback-ride a Fury is okay by me."
"You know," Aster chuckled, surprised that they were having a conversation without fighting, "maybe I should tell you... Something funny back on the bus..."
A shrill toot-toot-toot interrupted her, like the sound of an owl being tortured. Annabeth's hands were covering her ears.
"Hey, my reed pipes still work!" Grover cried. "If I could just remember a 'find path' song, we could get out of these woods!" Aster was just about to remind her that she was leading them out of the woods, but he puffed out a few notes, the tune still sounding a lot like a Hilary Duff song.
Instead of finding a path, Percy walked right into a tree, earning a nice-size knot on his head. Aster snorted, covering her laugh with her hand. Percy glared at her.
"I guess the trees don't really like you," Aster said with a wild grin.
"Shut up, tree-hugger," he grumbled, and they moved on.
After following Aster's carefully marked path, with Percy mostly falling and tripping over roots while cursing under his breath, there was a bright glow ahead of them: a neon sign. The smell of food wafted in the air reminded Aster of how hungry she was. They kept walking to a deserted two-lane road through the trees. On the other side was a closed-down gas station, a tattered billboard for a 1990s movie, and one open business, which was the source of the neon light and the good smell.
Though it didn't seem to be a restaurant. It was one of those weird roadside curio shops that sell lawn flamingos and wooden Indians and cement grizzly bears and stuff like that. The main building was a long, low warehouse, surrounded by acres of statuary. Aster squinted at the neon sign to see what it read. Her dyslexia didn't like friendly letters in a book, let alone glowing, red cursive.
It looked like it read: ATNYU MES GDERAN GOMEN MEPROUIM.
"What the heck does that say?: Percy asked.
"I don't know," Annabeth said.
Aster came to stand beside him, still squinting at the sign. When Percy looked at her, she shook her head.
Grover translated: "Aunty Em's Garden Gnome Emporium."
"Who the hell is 'Aunty Em'?" Aster said, and Percy shrugged.
"Who cares?" he said. "Smells like she has good food."
So Aster followed him to the weird shop. Flanking the entrance, as advertised, were two cement garden gnomes, ugly bearded little runts, smiling and waving, as if they were about to get their picture taken.
"Hey..." Grover warned, he looked alarmed.
"The lights are on inside,"" Annabeth said hopefully. "Maybe it's open."
"Snack bar," Percy said wistfully, looking over at Aster.
"Snack bar," she agreed.
"Are you guys crazy?" Grover said. "This place is weird."
They ignored him, and pressed on. The front lot was a forest of statues: cement animals, cement children, even a cement satyr playing the pipes, which gave Grover the creeps.
"Bla-ha-ha!" he bleated. "Looks like my Uncle Ferdinand!"
Grover stopped them at the warehouse door. "Don't knock," the satyr pleaded. "I smell monsters."
"Your nose is clogged up from the Furies," Annabeth told him.
"Yeah," Aster agreed. "All I smell is burgers. Aren't you hungry?"
"Meat!" Grover said scornfully. "I'm a vegetarian."
"You eat cheese enchiladas and aluminum cans," Percy reminded him.
"Those are vegetables," Grover said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Come on. Let's leave. These statues are... looking at me."
Then the door creaked open, and standing in front of them was a tall Middle Eastern woman. She wore a long black gown that covered everything but her hands, and her head was completely veiled. Her eyes glinted behind a curtain of black gauze, but that was about all she could make out. Her coffee-colored hands looked old, but well-manicured and elegant. It reminded Aster of a grandmother who had once been a beautiful lady, like Mrs. Abadi, who used to buy dahlias from her father's shop every Thursday.
Her accent sounded vaguely Middle Eastern, too. She said, "Children, it is too late to be out all alone. Where are your parents?"
"They're... um..." Percy started to say.
"We're orphans," Aster said, throwing her hands up. Percy shot her a bewildered look out of the side of his eye.
"Orphans?" the woman said. The word sounded alien in her mouth. "But, my dears! Surely not!"
"We got separated from our... caravan," Percy said. "Our circus caravan." Circus caravan? Aster fought the urge to roll her eyes. "The ringmaster told us to meet him at the gas station if we got lost, but he may have forgotten, or maybe he meant a different gas station. Anyway, we're lost. Is that food I smell?"
"Oh, my dears," the woman said. "You must come in, poor children. I am Aunty Em. Go straight through to the back of the warehouse, please. There is a dining area."
They thanked her and gladly went inside. Aster hit Percy's shoulder. "Circus caravan? "
"Orphans?" Percy replied, rubbing where she'd hit him.
"It was all I could think of," she said. "You could have said our orphanage burned down or something."
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Percy said, and Aster raised her brows at him.
"More stupid than a circus caravan? For orphans?" Aster countered.
"Whatever, Flower Power," Percy scoffed.
"Your head really is full of seaweed," Aster said under her breath.
The warehouse was filled with more statues—people in all different poses, wearing all different outfits and with different expressions on their faces. You'd have to have a pretty huge garden to fit even one of these statues, because they were all life-size. But food was the only thing on Aster's mind. Aster had a strange feeling that the statue's eyes were following her, but she ignored them. She must've been so hungry it was making her paranoid. Though she could have sworn she heard the doors lock behind them, the dining area had caught her attention.
Sure enough, there it was at the back of the warehouse: a fast-food counter with a grill, a soda fountain, a pretzel heater, and a nacho cheese dispenser. Everything four preteens could want, plus a few steel picnic tables out front.
"Please, sit down," Aunty Em encouraged them, her voice sickly sweet.
"Awesome," Percy said.
"Um," Grover said reluctantly, "we don't have any money, ma'am."
Aster shot him a warning look, but Aunty Em shook her hands at them. "No, no, children. No money. This is a special case, yes? It is my treat, for such nice orphans."
"Thank you, ma'am," Annabeth said graciously.
Aunty Em stiffened, as if Annabeth had done something wrong, but then the old woman relaxed just as quickly. Aster had barely caught it, but it was still strange.
"Quite all right, Annabeth," she said. "You have such beautiful gray eyes, child."
Annabeth smiled at the woman, but it didn't reach her eyes and soon fell. Aster could have sworn she hadn't told the strange woman their names. Perhaps she didn't remember; she sometimes had the short term memory of a goldfish.
Aunty Em disappeared behind the snack counter and started cooking. Before they knew it, she'd brought them plastic trays heaped with double cheeseburgers, vanilla shakes, and XXL servings of French fries. Aster, Annabeth, and Percy dove right in, barely remembering to breathe. Grover was a little more reluctant, picking at the fries he had taken. He eyed the tray's waxed paper liner as if he might go for that, but he still looked too nervous to eat.
"What's that hissing noise?" he asked, looking up suddenly. Aster listened, but she didn't hear anything and shook her head.
"Hissing?" Aunty Em asked. "Perhaps you hear the deep-fryer oil. You have keen ears, Grover."
"I take vitamins," Grover shrugged. "For my ears."
"That's admirable," the woman said. "But please, relax."
Aunty Em didn't eat any of the food she had prepared. She hadn't taken off her headdress, even to cook, and now she sat forward and interlaced her fingers and watched them eat. Aster thought it was a bit creepy, not sure where she was looking. She was feeling satisfied after finishing her burger, but the sleepy feeling that washed over her was slightly unsettling. She began studying her surroundings, not sure what was making her feel off, but she finally felt what Grover had been talking about. Something wasn't right.
"So, you sell gnomes," Percy said, trying to make conversation. Aster knew he was just trying to be polite, but something in her told her that they maybe shouldn't.
"Oh, yes," Aunty Em said. "And animals. And people. Anything for the garden. Custom orders. Statuary is very popular, you know."
"A lot of business on this road?" Percy asked.
"Not so much, no..." Aunty Em sighed. "Since the highway was built... most cars, they do not go this way now. I must cherish every customer I get."
Aster studied the statues, and something about them wasn't right. They were a little too lifelike. Even though her father was more into indoor flowers, Aster still knew her fair share about gardening decor, and these were usually too big, unless you counted huge mansions. But even then, they were usually custom ordered. And she didn't know how many of those you came across in this part of New Jersey. There was something else that left a chill down Aster's spine: almost every face was off. Instead of a happy face that should be carved to perfection by an artist, they all looked terrified, like they had been scared right before...
Oh no.
"Ah," Aunty Em said sadly. "You notice some of my creations do not turn out well. They are marred. They do not sell. The face is the hardest to get right. Always the face."
"You make these statues yourself?" Percy asked.
"Oh, yes. Once upon a time, I had two sisters to help me in the business, but they have passed on, and Aunty Em is alone. I have only my statutes. This is why I make them, you see. They are my company." The sadness in her voice sounded so deep and so real that Aster almost felt sorry for her.
Almost.
Aster froze. She sat forward and said, "Two sisters?" She and Annabeth made eye contact, and Aster tried to communicate through her gaze, but Annabeth didn't seem to get it.
"It's a terrible story," Aunty Em said. "Not one for children, really. You see, Aster, a bad woman was jealous of me, long ago, when I was young. I had a... a boyfriend, you know, and this bad woman was determined to break us apart. She caused a terrible accident. My sisters stayed by me. They shared my bad fortune as long as they could, but eventually they passed on. They faded away. I alone have survived, but at a price. Such a price."
Aster looked down at her lap. They needed to get out of there right now. Though Medusa didn't have any grievances with Demeter than she knew of, she suspected the monster resented all offspring of the gods. Annabeth was especially in danger, being a daughter of Athena.
Looking over at Percy, Aster could tell that he had no clue of what was going on. Of course he didn't remember any of her mythology lessons. Medusa had been one of the first they learned—he should know that story. His eyelids looked heavy, like he needed a good nap. She reached over and shook his shoulder.
"Percy?" Aster said, her voice tense. "Maybe we should go. I mean, the ringmaster will be waiting."
Aster caught Annabeth's gaze, and she finally understood. Grover started nervously eating the waxed paper off the tray. Maybe if they could leave naturally, she wouldn't attack them. Maybe she only turned those to stone who were willing.
"Such beautiful gray eyes," Aunty Em told Annabeth again. "My, yes, it has been a long time since I've seen gray eyes like those."
She reached out as if to stroke Annabeth's cheek, but Annabeth stood up abruptly.
"We really should go," Annabeth said.
"Yes!" Grover swallowed his waxed paper and stood up. Aster followed his lead. "The ringmaster is waiting!"
Percy furrowed his eyebrows and stayed in his seat; he had no clue.
"Please, dears," Aunty Em—rather Medusa—pleaded. "I so rarely get to be with children. Before you go, won't you at least sit for a pose?"
"A pose?" Aster asked warily.
"A photograph," the woman explained, "I will use it to model a new statue set. Children are so popular, you see. Everyone loves children."
Annabeth smiled nervously. "I don't think we can, ma'am."
Aster shifted her weight from foot to foot. No time, I hope you understand. Come on, Percy–"
"Sure we can," Percy interrupted, sounding irritated. Aster was close to hitting him again. "It's just a photo, Aster. What's the harm?"
"Yes, Aster," the woman purred. "No harm."
Aster didn't like it, but she followed Percy and Aunty Em out the front door, into the garden of statues. She had to stick with Percy, or else he would be a goner. Besides, no man left behind or whatever. Annabeth and Grover followed closely behind.
Aster could feel the energy of the garden with her powers, but it felt... off. It was buzzing with silent screams and suffering souls, all the resentment towards the woman who held them hostage.
Leave, daughter of Demeter, the trees urged her. Leave and never return.
The pleading from the dead got louder and louder in her head, each of them telling Aster their story at the same time. The story of what Medusa had done to them. And how they would stay here for eternity, unable to move on until she was dead.
Aster clamped her hands over her ears, but it did nothing to drown out the cries of the dead. She could barely hear Medusa's voice as the volume increased inside her head.
Medusa directed them to a park bench next to the stone satyr. "Now," she said, "I'll just position you correctly. The two young girls in the middle, I think, and the two young gentlemen on either side."
"Not much light for a photo," Percy remarked.
"Oh, enough," Medusa said. "Enough for us to see each other, yes?"
"Where's your camera?" Grover asked.
Run, Aster Reed. Flee this place before she takes you too.
Aster tried not to panic as Medusa ignored him and stepped back, as if to admire the shot. "Now, the face is the most difficult. Can you smile for me please, everyone? A large smile?"
Grover glanced at the cement satyr next to him, and mumbled, "That sure does look like Uncle Ferdinand."
"Grover," Medusa chastised, "look this way, dear."
She still had no camera in her hands.
"Percy–" Aster said. He turned to meet her eyes, sea green clashing with deep brown. Something changed in his face, like he had just come to his senses.
"I will just be a moment," Medusa said. "You know, I can't see you very well in this cursed veil..."
"Percy, something's wrong," Aster hissed. "She's not–"
"Wrong?" Medusa interrupted, reaching up to undo the wrap around her head. "Not at all, dear. I have such noble company tonight. What could be wrong?"
"That is Uncle Ferdinand!" Grover gasped.
"Look away from her!" Aster shouted. She pushed both her and Percy off of the bench, while Annabeth whipped her cap on and vanished, taking Grover down with her. She scrambled off to get away from Medusa, but noticed that Percy was rooted in the same spot. He was beginning to look up, but Aster screamed at him. "No! Don't do it!"
The hissing that Grover had mentioned earlier was loud and clear to Aster now.
"Run!" Grover bleated. He raced across the gravel, yelling, "Maia!" to kick-start his flying sneakers.
Percy was still frozen in his spot, gaze fixed on Medusa's claws. "Such a pity to destroy a handsome young face," she told him soothingly. "Stay with me, Percy. All you have to do is look up."
Aster had to think, quickly. What did Perseus do in the myth? He used something reflective so he could see her and not get turned to stone... a shield! That was it! But there were no shields in sight. Something glinted in the corner of her eye, and Aster turned to find a reflective glass sphere on display—a gazing ball. She picked up a large purple one. The image was distorted slightly, but Aster could see Medusa clear enough: her headdress was gone, revealing her face as a shimmering pale circle. Her hair was moving, writhing like serpents. They were serpents. The gazing ball next to her started floating, and she knew Annabeth had followed her lead.
Aster just had to get close enough to chop her head off, like Perseus. Except, she had been asleep then, and Aster didn't know if she could do it with just one knife. She would have to give Percy the best position to do it with his sword. Except he wasn't very capable right now, at Medusa's mercy.
"The Gray-Eyed One did this to me, Percy," Medusa said, her voice falsely kind. "Annabeth's mother, the cursed Athena, turned me from a beautiful woman into this."
"Don't listen to her!" Annabeth's voice shouted, somewhere in the statuary. "Run, Percy!"
"Silence!" Medusa snarled. Then her voice modulated back to a comforting purr. "You see why I must destroy the girl, Percy. She is my enemy's daughter. I shall crush her statue to dust. But you, dear Percy, you need not suffer."
"Don't let her get to you, Percy!" Aster yelled from behind a statue
"Quiet!" Medusa demanded. Aster shut her eyes when she saw her head turn to her direction, but she could feel the woman's burning gaze on her. Medusa gasped slightly, like she had just seen something she hadn't noticed before. "Ἑστία. It cannot be! Phúlax. Foolish girl! You have come right to me for destruction!" Aster had no idea what that meant, or why she hissed "Hestia" and "protector" at her in ancient Greek.
The hissing changed, which made Aster think that she had turned back to Percy, who she prayed had his eyes closed. "Dear Percy, I'm afraid I must destroy the other girl as well. She is the enemy of all like me. She will be crushed along with Annabeth. But no need to fret, my dear Percy."
What did Medusa mean by Aster being the enemy of all like her? It couldn't have been because she was a demigod, because Percy wasn't looped into that. Perhaps it was the fact that Percy is the son of Poseidon, her Medusa's former lover, or that Demeter had actually done something to piss the woman off that Aster didn't know about. Either way, Aster wasn't getting any closer to the woman without getting torn to pieces.
"No," Percy muttered.
"Do you really want to help the gods?" Medusa asked. "Do you understand what awaits you on this foolish quest, Percy? What will happen if you reach the Underworld? Do not be a pawn of the Olympians, my dear. You would be better off as a statue. Less pain. Less pain."
"Percy!" Grover yelled, and Aster looked up to see him in the night sky, flying in from twelve o'clock with his winged shoes fluttering. He was holding a tree branch the size of a baseball bat, which he swung wildly from side to side. His eyes were shut tight in case he caught Medusa's eye, navigating by ears and nose alone.
"Duck!" he yelled again. "I'll get her!"
Percy finally shook off his daze, diving to the side. Grover got right on target, hitting Medusa in the ribs with his tree branch, shoving her back and away from Percy.
Medusa roared with rage. "You miserable satyr," she snarled. "I'll add you to my collection!"
"That was for Uncle Ferdinand!" Grover yelled back.
Aster took this distraction as an opportunity to make her way over to Percy and tell him her plan. She found him behind a statue of an old man with a beer belly while Grover got another hit on Medusa.
"Percy!" Aster said, getting right next to Percy.
He was so startled he jumped. "Jeez! Don't do that!"
"You have to cut her head off."
"What? Are you crazy?" Percy stared at her with wide eyes. "Let's get out of here."
"Medusa is a total bitch. No, she's evil. I'd kill her myself, but you've got the better weapon." Aster swallowed. "Besides, I'd never be able to get close to her. She'd slice me to bits because of whatever she mentioned. Annabeth can't do it either because of her mom—she doesn't seem to like us very much."
Percy looked at Aster like she was crazy. "What? I can't–"
"Look, do you want her turning more innocent people into statues?" Aster snapped, her gaze running over all of the poor people who had lost their lives to this monster, thinking they were just getting kind hospitality. "I can hear their souls, Percy. They're trapped within this garden. They're in my head, using the trees to communicate with me. Let me just say they didn't go peacefully. We have to kill her to set them free."
Percy now had a determined expression, and Aster handed him a green gazing ball from beside them. "A polished shield would be preferred, but this will have to do. The image will be distorted, but it's good enough."
"Good enough?" Percy repeated, his voice cracking a bit.
"Just take it!" Aster tossed it to him. "Always look at her in the glass. Never look at her directly."
"Hey, guys!" Grover yelled somewhere above them. "I think she's unconscious!"
"Roooaaarrr! "
"Maybe not," Grover corrected. He went in for another pass with the tree branch.
"Hurry," Aster said. "Grover's got a great nose, but he'll eventually crash. I'll find Annabeth."
Percy took his ballpoint pen from his pocket and uncapped it. Aster noticed the inscription before it transformed into a long bronze blade. Anaklusmos—Riptide.
Percy took off in the direction of Medusa, but then something occurred to Aster. The veil—they would need the veil. If Percy didn't manage to cut her head off before he got killed, then Aster could just strangle the monster with her own veil. Worst case scenario. Suddenly then, Annabeth appeared next to her, the veil in hand. Aster smiled.
"Good one, Beth."
Annabeth nodded, then disappeared again.
As she crept around the garden, Aster could see Percy approaching Medusa in the reflection of her gazing ball. Maybe she wouldn't attack him because he looked like his father.
"You wouldn't harm an old woman, Percy," Medusa crooned. "I know you wouldn't."
Percy hesitated, and Grover warned him from where he had collapsed. "Percy, don't listen to her!"
Medusa cackled. "Too late."
Maybe not, Aster thought as Medusa lunged at Percy, talons gleaming in the starlight. Percy slashed his sword in an arch, and something plopped to the floor. Aster risked a look, and Medusa's body was disintegrating into dust. But the head was still intact.
"Oh, yuck," Grover said, his eyes still tightly closed. "Mega-yuck."
Aster came up next to Percy, her eyes fixed on the sky.
She could hear Annabeth moving towards them. "Don't move."
Very, very carefully, without looking down, Annabeth knelt and draped the monster's head in black cloth, then picked it up. It was still dripping green juice.
"That is disgusting," Aster remarked before turning to Percy, ignoring the trembling of her voice. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," Percy breathed, but he looked like he was going to be sick. "Why didn't—why didn't the head evaporate?"
"Once you sever it, it becomes a spoil of war," Annabeth explained. "Same as your minotaur horn. But don't unwrap the head. It can still petrify you."
Grover moaned as he climbed down from the grizzly statue. He had a big welt on his forehead. His green rasta cap hung from one of his little goat horns, and his fake feet had been knocked off his hooves. The magic sneakers were flying aimlessly around his head.
"The Red Baron," Percy smiled. "Good job, man."
The satyr managed a bashful grin. "That really was not fun, though. Well, the hitting-her-with-a-stick part, that was fun. But crashing into a concrete bear? Not fun."
He snatched his shoes out of the air and Percy recapped his sword. Together, the four of them stumbled back to the warehouse.
Just before they reached the door, Aster brushed her hand against a small crabapple tree.
They thank you, daughter of Demeter, it whispered to her. For helping them find peace.
Aster smiled at that.
They found some old plastic grocery bags behind the snack counter and double-wrapped Medusa's head. They sat it in the middle of the table where they had eaten dinner, like some sort of twisted centerpiece. They were all too exhausted to speak.
Percy finally broke the silence. "What did Medusa call you? It sounded like 'protector.'"
"I don't know," Aster said, wrapping her arms around herself as a chill went down her spine. "I'm no protector. She might have mistook me for Grover through the veil." Aster smiled faintly at her own joke before it fell.
"She must have read your aura," Grover said.
A small silence settled over them again.
Finally Percy said, "So we have Athena to thank for this monster?"
Annabeth flashed Percy an irritated look. "Your dad, actually. Don't you remember? Medusa was Poseidon's girlfriend. They decided to meet in my mother's temple. That's why Athena turned her into a monster. Medusa and her two sisters who had helped her get into the temple became the three gorgons. That's why Medusa wanted to slice me up, but she wanted to preserve you as a nice statue. She's still sweet on your dad. You probably reminded her of him."
Aster grinned, reaching up and pretending to squeeze his cheek. "Awe, wittle Percy looks like his daddy."
A fierce blush colored on Percy's cheeks and he slapped her hand away. "Oh, so now it's my fault we met Medusa."
Aster cocked an eyebrow. "'It's just a photo, Aster. What's the harm?' " she imitated Percy, who frowned.
"Forget it," Percy said. "You're impossible."
"You're insufferable," Aster countered.
"You're–"
"Hey!" Grover interrupted. "You two are giving me a migraine, and satyrs don't even get migraines. What are we going to do with the head?"
Aster stared at the thing. One little snake was hanging out of a hole in the plastic. The words printed on the side of the bag said: WE APPRECIATE YOUR BUSINESS! — Which seemed a little ironic.
Percy stood, his expression hardened. "I'll be back," he said.
"Percy," Annabeth called after him. "What are you–" but he was already gone.
When he returned, he had a box, a coin pouch, and some packing slips for Hermes Overnight Express that Aster recognized. Percy placed Medusa's head carefully in the box, then filled out a packing slip and slapped it on the box.
"You're not going to do what I think you're going to do, are you?" Aster asked, but Percy ignored her. Sure enough, she was right. Percy had written:
The Gods
Mount Olympus
600th Floor,
Empire State Building
New York, NY
With best wishes,
PERCY JACKSON
"They're not going to like that," Grover warned. "They'll think you're impertinent."
Percy poured some golden drachmas in the pouch and put it in the box. As soon as he closed it, there was a sound like a cash register. The package floated off the table and disappeared with a pop!
"I am impertinent," Percy said with a tight lipped smile. He turned to Aster, who was quite impressed at his nerve to piss off the gods.
"Come on," Aster muttered. "We need a new plan."