Felix POV
When Felix got back to his dorm after his disastrous 'date,' all of his members were waiting for him in the living room. His cheeks were still streaked with tears and there was no hiding it in time for them not to see.
Hoshi is the first to jump up from his seat and hug him, quickly crossing the space and embracing him before he is able to get his coat or hat off. Felix just stands there, dazed and emotionally wrecked. His arms are limp and he doesn't make eye contact with any of his members as they all make their way over to him. Hyunki helps him shrug off his coat, it gets discarded somewhere in their small mud room as they take his hand and guide him to the couch to sit down. Jiho tugs off his beanie and Seojun brushes away the parts of his bangs that had gotten wet with tears.
"'Mm sorry," Felix mumbles as he tucks his chin down to his chest and curls into Hyunki's side. Hoshi sits on the other side of him and Jiho sits on the ground beside the couch, Seojun watches from the kitchen where he has started making tea.
"It's okay," Hyunki doesn't ask him to explain, Felix suspects that they already know where he had been. "It's okay, Lee Felix. We're here."
They were always there. The depths of Felix's mind could understand that much even when he felt this empty. The five of them had always stuck together through their hardships. Even now, with Felix caught in a spiral of past emotions, each member did their part to bring him up from that dark abyss. Hyunki gives him his shoulder to cry on while Hoshi carefully unties his shoes and slips them off and away, covering him with a warm blanket. Jiho turns on their air humidifier and places it on the side table, providing white noise in between Felix's sniffs and gasps. Seojun brings over a tray of tea and honey, carefully handing out the different cups and sitting down in a chair across from them.
After a few sips of the tea, Felix wipes at his eyes and pulls the blanket tighter around his shoulders. Chan's face flashes through his mind again and he struggles to block out the countless smiles they had shared that night. The countless smiles that Felix thought were signs of change, of moving on. "I thought..." his words are shaky and broken, "I thought he was proud of me."
Hyunki rubs his shoulders and hums, "I'm sure he's proud of you." His leader's voice has always been a source of calm, of security, "I'm positive."
"He said I should have stayed at JYP," Felix sees some of the members shift in their seats, "He said I could have come back."
Jiho looks ready to run outside and all the way back to the park, "Who the fu-"
"Chan and the rest of his team missed you a lot when you left. I can see how his thoughts would want to stray there after all this time," Seojun effectively cuts off Jiho's threats and pushes forward in his chair, "I don't think he realized what he was saying."
Felix pushes into Hyunki's side and huffs, "Whether or not he realized it or not, his true feelings finally showed themselves... I thought after we... I mean we..."
Hoshi pulls Jiho onto the couch and stops him from leaving the living room, "I don't think Chan hyung wanted to hurt your feelings. He didn't know where you were for a long time, and when he found out you debuted he probably thought you could have done the same if you had stayed at their company."
Seojun chimes in then, "That's flawed logic, but I can see how from his perspective he thought it possible."
"This doesn't change anything," Felix wipes away another stray tear, "Chan doesn't understand any of this."
"You're right. He should learn." Hyunki squeezes his shoulder reassuringly, "He should learn and then he should apologize. But until then," Their leader takes out his phone and checks their schedule, "We have practice with them tomorrow morning."
Fleix's heart sinks, even Seojun quirks his eyebrow with unease.
"Let's all get some sleep, I'll take care of it." Hyunki pats Felix's head and pushes them to stand up. Felix shuffles into his room and falls onto his bed in a heap, Hoshi and Jiho end up crawling into Hyunki's bed while Hyunki lays down next to Felix and holds him to help with his shaking.
Slowly, Felix's mind sorts through his memories and thoughts until they resemble the relative timeline of that night. Chan did like Felix, he liked him enough to want to kiss him for seemingly endless minutes and moments of bliss. When they had touched and touched and touched it had felt as if those moments would never end.
But it had ended, and those moments had been cut off with the realization that Chan had never understood why Felix had left. Chan would have let Felix continue to drown if he had stayed at JYP, constantly fighting to be something he couldn't.
Felix holds one of Hyunki's hands that is wrapped around his middle, the rough pads of his fingers a stark contrast to his own soft hands. He threads their fingers together and remembers how he had done the same with Chan not hours before. Despite everything he still wants to hold Chan's hands, and it makes his thoughts all the more confusing.
Felix shouldn't want to be close to him, yet his mind still replays their kisses over and over again. He pictures the hands that traveled the expanse of his chest and snuck under his shirt to fit perfectly into the curve of his waist. Felix had gasped when Chan's cold hands had touched him, they had sent chilled shivers down his back and up his spine again until Felix had to hide his face beneath the collar of his coat.
Covering his face in his pillow, Felix tries to get a hold on his thoughts again and put away those memories. He feels his face flush again. It isn't fair to have such perfect moments tainted by his own troubled past. Maybe Felix had ruined their friendship by kissing Chan, and this was really all just his fault.
It was always his fault.
Chan POV
Chan had gone home angry. After being left in the park he had kicked the camphor tree they had sat under and walked home in a whirlwind of rage. He didn't stop, not for anyone or anything. As he passed Seungmin reading in the living room he brushed off his questions and slammed the door of his bedroom. Luckily it was empty, and as he climbed up into the top bunk he threw over his blanket and hid in a bundle of irritation.
He didn't know why he was angry, but his thoughts were too jumbled up to think straight. His mind flashed the memory of Felix looking down at him, his eyes looking utterly broken. He remembered the tears that fell down his cheeks and the shaking of his small hands that stuck out from his coat. The last words that he had heard had made his mind short circuit until now.
'Maybe I should have stayed away.'
No no no. He hadn't been able to call out to him, the name 'Felix' was to recognisable in a city like Seoul. He couldn't draw attention to himself or his friend.
Friend. Were they still friends? Could Chan text Felix and tell him he didn't mean it? That he takes it all back? Would that fix this mess and bring him back?
He didn't understand why Felix had been so upset, couldn't understand how he had messed up enough to ruin such a perfect night. Felix said he left for the good of both of them, but Chan felt as if he had been suffering when he didn't know where Felix was. The younger idols words still echoed through his head.
'I was never coming back to Stray Kids.'
Chan had thought that Felix could have joined the team again like Minho. Maybe in another mission during the survival show he could have been brought back and the judges could see how much potential he had.
'Even before Minho left, I was drowning.'
When he had heard Felix's voice break Chan had flinched. Felix had always come to him for any of his problems and Chan had welcomed him and helped him as much as he could. Felix didn't tell him this, it didn't seem like he had told anyone.
'I needed to let you go Chris, you needed to let me go.'
Chan threw off his blanket and sat straight up in his bed. It wasn't fair to Felix to have gone through all that by himself. To be dragged down by those worries and fears after losing Chan and the rest of the team. It had been wrong to question him leaving the company and it had been wrong to have wanted him to stay.
'The only way I was able to climb out of that hole, was to leave you behind.'
Chan didn't deserve to have Felix after he had failed to keep him on the team. He had told Felix he wouldn't leave him behind and he had let him down. Chan's mind slowly began to unravel and form a clear understanding of things. He had ruined everything. It was as if now things were worse than before he had found Volta.
Chan takes out his phone and looks down at the screen. No new notifications. When he opens up their messages he sees their last texts from earlier that day, the last one is Chan telling Felix that he is waiting outside. He types and types and retypes, not knowing what he could possibly say to Felix to make this right. Nothing he could say could get his point across. No apology could fix the mess he had made.
Right when he is about to send a gif of a sad pikachu, a banner pops up at the top of his screen and interrupts the horrible idea. It's a message from Choi Seojun to the group chat, a reminder that they had practice tomorrow and that they needed to perfect the final aspects of their choreography so they could prepare for dress rehearsals and camera angles. Chan deletes the gif and falls back onto his bed. His head hits the pillow and he takes a breath, mentally thanking the Volta ace for stopping himself from making a mistake. Sad pikachu could not fix this, but an in person meeting could.
Chan could talk to him at their dance practice, he could fix this and make everything okay again. Maybe it wouldn't go back to the way things were immediately, but if Chan could explain how he had done wrong then maybe they could get past this. Maybe, if time allowed he could even kiss Felix again.
Sleep pulls on his consciousness, and soon his roommates shuffle into the room and collapse onto their respective beds. Minho's hand reaches up to grasp Chan's hand that sticks out of the blanket, but the only reassurance he gives the dancer is a light squeeze. The hand retracts, and the lights are turned off.
Sleep comes quickly, and in the morning Chan discovers that he is the last one to wake up. When he falls out of bed the room is empty, the soft sounds of a waking house could be heard coming from the hallway, but it seems Changbin and Minho had been quiet when they got up. When you room together long enough it seems you pick up on who needs more sleep on certain nights.
Chan is still in his black jeans and sweatshirt, he hadn't changed out from his outing last night. Before he leaves he changes into proper practice clothes, exchanging his outfit for softer pants and a lighter hoodie. When he leaves the bedroom he's almost hit by Jisung who scurries by with only a towel around his waist, Minho chases after him with a can of febreeze. Seungmin is in the kitchen heating up an entire box of eggo waffles, and Jeongin is applying butter, jelly, nutella and banana to different waffles depending on what each member prefers.
Hyunjin sits beside Jeongin and reads off a bright orange post-it note, "It says that Jisung wants syrup but we're all out..."
"Cover it in sugar," Changbin calls as he comes in from the living room and takes one of the toasted eggos from beside Seungmin.
Jeongin cringes, "That's not how syrup works. At all."
"He'll be fine," Hyunjin looks devious as he hands over two more eggos for Jeongin to prepare, reading out another member's preference, "Seungmin likes jam."
It was mornings like these that Chan was so used to, the gentle chaos of 7 different boys getting ready for the day. Each member had a different way of waking up just like they had different ways of eating their eggos. Chan wasn't used to being the last one up, but none of them mentioned the anomaly as they all set about their different tasks and routines.
Jisung finally makes it into the living room in a proper set of clothes on, and Minho follows behind and plops down onto the couch with a huff, "These practices are a little early, don't you think?" The dancer reaches up his arms and stretches his entire body from where he is sprawled on the sofa.
"Maybe if you don't stay up all night texting Jisung you'd be more awake?" Seungmin gestures to the rapper with his set of tongs, "I woke up to him giggling in the middle of the night and had to take his phone away."
Jisung pouts, "You're not my mom... You had no right..."
"I had every right when it intruded on Hyunjin's beauty sleep. I wasn't about to face his wrath at 2 in the morning because you two couldn't stop flirting!" Seungmin snaps the tongs at Minho and proceeds to pull out the last two waffles from the toaster.
"Sending cat videos to Hannie is not flirting," Minho sticks his tongue out at Seungmin and makes grabby hands towards the eggo Jeongin is holding that is covered with nutella.
"It is when you do it," Changbin mutters from the kitchen, his mouth full of waffle and tub butter.
Jisung stands in the middle of the argument with a pensive expression, looking between the members in the kitchen and the dancer on the couch. Eventually he gives in and goes to the couch to sit with Minho, lifting his legs to make room for himself.
Jeongin hands out all the prepared waffles to their respective owners and they all eat with Chan's laptop playing one of their newest projects over a mini speaker on the kitchen table.
"You think Stay will like it?" Jeongin asks as the song plays, his brows drawn together as he chew his waffle topped with chocolate and fruit.
Chan nods as he eats his buttered eggo, "I think they will. When we do the MV shoot you just have to have confidence, yeah?"
"And be decked out with a giant fur coat," Hyunjin grins from across the room as he eats his own waffle plain.
Jeongin laughs, and the rest of the members finish their breakfast with haste. Their manager texts them that their vans are waiting outside. They put away all their waffle toppings and all shrug on various jackets and coats, making their way outside and into the vans while being sure that their faces are properly covered.
The ride to Volta's company building was making Chan's stomach turn and he couldn't help but check his phone over and over again for a text or message from Felix. Their joint group chat was active and all the members either played games on their phone or texted about what their plan for their practice should focus on that day. Chan watched for any input from Felix, but it was radio silence from the lead dancer.
Slowly, Chan's mind begins to fill with doubt. There was no way to know how this would go. Maybe Felix would shut him out, maybe he had already blocked his number again and this was about to be a disaster either way. He has to go in with a level head but as the car pulls up through the underground parking garage Chan's chest is filling up with a red hot sting of anticipation.
There is no one waiting for them by the exit of the parking lot when the members clamber out of the van. Stay Kids had been to the company building enough times enough to know where to go, no longer needing a guide. As all of them walked towards the practice room set aside for them they keep quiet for anyone else practicing on the floor. Various songs and voices could be heard from different rooms along the hallway. Mixed Media Entertainment was a growing company filled with all sorts of fresh talent, Volta seemed to be only the beginning of its success.
Felix had made a good choice to come here, it was perfect for him.
When his team finally reaches their practice room Chan does not feel prepared. When he walks into the room he doesn't know what to expect; Volta is always unpredictable like that. Felix could have been waiting on the other side of the door ready to punch his teeth in, instead he doesn't find Felix there at all.
Only four members of Volta wait for them in the practice room, and none of them are the sherbet haired idol that Chan had kissed last night. Stray Kids find Hyunki waiting for them by the door, Jiho and Hoshi are in a partnered straddle stretch by the speaker boxes, their hair is freshly dyed just like Felix had said. Hoshi sports a bright blue and Jiho's been dyed a solid black. Seojun walks along the mirror doing a hamstring stretch, the blonde doesn't bother to look up from off the ground. Chan expects Jiho to go off about how their hair is matching again, but instead he just looks at them with a vacant expression. Hoshi smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes.
"Hey guys," Hyunki's grin is more practiced, Chan can still see right through it, "Ready to get started?"
The atmosphere is strained, Chan's own team picks up on the mood of the room and quickly drops their own energy to match Volta's. Changbin quirks a brow, "Where's Felix?"
Hyunki's eyes stray to the side, Chan tries not to follow their gaze, "Felix is doing his vocal recordings today, it's gonna end up taking up most of today's practice. Seojun has his parts memorized though so he can step in for any joint parts that need work." The Volta leader gives two thumbs up for reassurance, the finality of his words not leaving room for argument.
The rest of Chan's members end up spreading out around the room to begin stretches as Hyunjin sticks out his tongue, "Shit time to have a recording day. We really needed him here for final formation checks and adjustments."
Hyunki shrugs, "Sometimes you have to learn how to move forward without the things you want."
It feels like a slap to the face, but Chan tries not to take the comment the wrong way. Hyunki doesn't make eye contact with any of them but instead turns to go do his own warm up routine. Hyunjin cringes, "Sure, I guess..."
The rest of the members don't mention the absence, all beginning their own warm ups and stretches. Minho shoots Chan a look that is almost like an accusation, but even he stays silent on the matter. As Chan pulls on different muscles he thinks of all the different rooms they had passed. He hadn't heard Felix's voice in any of the vocal rooms, and he knows he would have recognised it. Maybe Hyunki is lying, maybe Volta knows what happened last night and they are trying to keep Chan away.
The two groups go through their practice with only minor issues due to Felix's absence. Hoshi is depleted of energy and Jiho seems even more irritable than he usually is. Chan watches as his own members struggle to understand the shift in attitude. He hadn't even mentioned his date with Felix or the sour note they had left on, not wanting to distract them from their work. Yet it has gone bad either way and now Volta was in defensive mode. It was all his fault that Felix wasn't there, and he had to fix this.
Chan waited until the end of their practice, knowing that Felix would never get back from his 'vocal recording.' By the end of their multiple run throughs and finalization of steps and forms everyone was exhausted. Like Hyunki had said, Seojun had somehow been able to dance the parts of two people. Chan found it amazing that the ace could switch between the choreography easily and not even miss a beat. Even by the end the rookie idol was still wanting to mark and fix little imperfections that he deemed important. Choi Seojun was no joke of an idol, and Chan found himself wondering how Felix and the rest of his team ever got him out of the practice room.
"We'll see you all next week yeah?" Hyunki is sitting on one of the chairs lined up along the room, watching the various members of Volta and Stray Kids scattered about the seats as well as the floor.
"We start practices in the KBS Hall next week," Seungmin was once again typing away on his phone and probably scrounging up all the details about the event, "It's not so early in the morning either since we are sharing with other groups and their own rehearsals."
"Two weeks left until the show," Changbin had started to fantasize about what he would do with the extra few hours of sleep.
Jeongin stares up at the ceiling from where he laid on the ground, "And four weeks until the New Year."
Jisung laughs, "Everyone's company better start paying Dispatch!"
They all laugh and the moment ended up being one of the few nice ones from that morning. But as all things do the morning had ended and it was now time to leave. Chan hadn't seen Felix and now Volta was walking them to the exit.
Chan stays behind his team, watching them as they walk and walk further away from his hope of fixing his mess. When they finally reach the entrance to the underground parking lot that had their vans lined up the four Volta members stop and wave goodbye to them. As the six younger members each file into their respective vehicle Chan holds back by the entrance and waits a moment before turning around.
He is faced with the wall that is Volta. All four members stand in a line across the doorway that now creates a barrier between Chan and the rest of the building.
Chan waits until he hears the kick of the last door closing before speaking, it feels as if he croaks out the words, "Is he okay?"
They all look hesitant, but Hyunki is the one who answers, "He's okay."
Jiho snarls, "No thanks to you." Hoshi takes the rapper's hand and squeezes it tight, the gesture seems to hold him back from saying more. The space still crackles with tension. Chan takes a step forward and all four members go rigid.
"I just need to talk to him," Chan pleads, he's ready to beg if he must, "I can fix this." He has to fix this.
"Felix isn't ready to talk right now." Seojun states it as a fact, straightforward as he always is.
Hyunki's lips are downturned and persed, when he speaks it's with a level tone, "Seojun is right. Now's not the time to try and 'fix' things. I think it's best if you both take a step back. This whole thing has escalated to a point where Felix needs to have a breather and you need to ease off."
Chan takes another step forward, "You can't just decide what he can and can not do-"
Hyunki takes a step away from his members and comes eye to eye with Chan. He spits out his words to interrupt him, "I can make those decisions when Felix is part of my team." The two leaders stare each other down. Hyunki stands at a taller height than Chan does but their level of energy was at a match. The next words out of Hyunki's mouth are softer, a near whisper that only Chan can pick up on, "Don't make this harder for him than it has to be. Don't ruin what relationship you have left."
The two stare at each other for a moment longer before Hoshi pipes up from behind the rookie leader, "Hyung?"
Hyunki breaks eye contacts and steps back in line and Chan is left feeling at a loss. "We'll see you next week. Felix will be finding his own ways to practice until the show, and when we do perform together..." Hyunki bows low and Chan is forced to do the same, "Please keep in mind that I will do anything to keep my members safe from what I deem a threat."
Chan mentally clocks that his members could be watching from the vans as they wait. Reality then cut in and he knew there needed to be no signs of a problem if this whole situation were to still go smoothly as possible, "Of course, see you all next week."
He turns away quickly, not catching their reactions. He doesn't care. Whether or not Felix's members understand what had happened doesn't matter anymore, they are what is blocking him from Felix. Or...
Maybe Felix is using his members to keep Chan out. Felix had said that he should have stayed away, but it was hard to believe that he would put up barriers between them like he had today. Texting or calling wouldn't work then. If Felix really does need space, Chan can wait. Two weeks until the KBS Show and then they'd be on holiday. He supposes it could be worse...
Changbin nudges Chan's arm as he climbs into the seat next to him, "You okay?"
Chan smiles at his friend, "I'm fine, just tired." He was exhausted, and his plan to fix his problem with Felix was getting rearranged and pushed back more and more, "I can't wait for the show."
Changbin grins, "Yeah, maybe because you got a look at your stage outfit huh?"
"I'm not complaining, and I don't think Stay will either," Chan chuckles as he remembers seeing the stylists holding up different clothes today during their water breaks. They mixed and matched until each member of both Volta and Stray Kids had a perfect outfit for the show. Everyone would wear varying tech wear and street fashion in shades of black and red, with pops of Volta's signature electric yellow. Chan likes the outfits, it brought both of their concepts together nicely and everyone was fairly comfortable in them.
"Anything is better than my brown jumpsuit," Changbin hums, leaning back in his seat and sticking in his earphones to block out the rest of the world.
Seungmin looks up from his phone and mutters his agreement, "Back Door was... Interesting."
Chan laughs, and it helps his mind ease up from his worries. He can do this, he can give Felix his space and in the meantime distract himself with group activity and his own members. As the car pulls away from Volta's company building, Chan's head fills with different ways he could get Felix back. Dreams of pulling him close again and making sure Felix knew how proud he is and how he would always be there for him no matter what group he was in.
But Chan can wait, he can wait until Felix is ready to let him back in.
Felix POV
It's not until later in the afternoon that Felix meets up with the rest of his team. They all look worn out from the practice from earlier. That morning Felix had apologized profusely for any trouble he would cause and his friends had all pardoned the problems and reassured him that he wasn't the issue. Felix had still spent the rest of the morning a nervous wreck.
As Hoshi approaches Felix they immediately embrace. Felix struggles to hold back another 'sorry for all the trouble,' one of the many he had already whispered that day. Instead Felix just squeezes Hoshi tighter and ruffles the mess of blue curls that had been perfectly styled not hours before. "Thank you guys," he begins honestly, "I- uh, I really appreciate it."
Hyunki smiles as he rubs the tiredness out of his eyes, "We always have your back, Felix. We will do this for as long as we need to, okay? No questions asked."
"I'll still ask questions..." Jiho pipes as he comes over and reluctantly sits next to Felix where he had been waiting on their dorm room couch. Hoshi sits down on the other side of him.
Seojun finishes fumbling with his phone and puts it down just as Felix feels his pocket vibrate, "I just sent you your notes on the practice, make sure you work on the joint Miroh choreography. We changed it back to the original." The ace sits down in the arm chair across from them, "I can help if you ever need it, but I think you'll be fine."
Felix nods quickly, "Of course. Thank you, hyung."
"We have the final shoot for the album tonight, let's all get a little sleep until then," Hyunki makes his way towards the bathroom, calling dibs on the shower and disappearing into the hallway.
Seojun and Hoshi follow not long after, leaving Felix and Jiho shoulder to shoulder on the couch for the time. Felix knows Jiho doesn't like skinship as much as the others, especially in public. But there are rare moments like this that Felix is able to share with the rapper that are always calm and relaxing. As aggressive as Jiho could be Felix knows about his need for serenity among the chaos.
"How was it?" Felix risks the question for the sake of his sanity. He wants to be sure nothing had gone horribly wrong. He also knows Jiho would be the most honest.
"It was fine until your lover boy had to go on asking questions," Jiho reaches his hand out and for a moment hesitates before putting it over Felix's, "I thought Hyunki was gonna throttle him before I could."
Biting his lip, Felix turns his hand over to thread their fingers together, "I'm sorry..." The words slip out before he can catch them.
Jiho sniffs and flicks the side of Felix's head with his free hand, "Don't be stupid Felix, if you keep apologizing I'm gonna throttle you."
"I'm so- I mean... I didn't mean for this to happen..." Felix was in a mess of emotions and still felt the memories of Chan swirling in his head. The good, the bad, the wonderful and the awful. He wouldn't have been able to see Chan today, so he had asked his members to cover for his absence for the sake of his mental state. Felix supposes it was good no one had come home with a black eye.
Jiho squeezes Felix's hand and pushes their shoulders together, "I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I'm not one for forgiveness, I think people who cross me should rot." He talks with a level tone and if Felix didn't know Kim Jiho like he did he might have been scared. "But he did seem pretty distraught."
Felix stays quiet and lets Jiho continue on, "I don't care, but if I did I would tell you that he really did seem like he wanted to make amends." The rapper yawns and pulls at his bangs as if he were uninterested, "I think Hoshi and Seojun are rooting for Chan to win you back, Hyunki will do whatever he thinks is in your best interest but I think even he could see how much Chan cared."
Felix is taken aback by his friend's words. It wasn't like Jiho to talk about feelings and things dealing with emotions, yet here he is analysing his member's response as well as Chan's. "What do you think?" Felix turns his head to meet Jiho's eyes. The younger member had his normal pout but he could see him thinking over the question.
When Jiho answers he still wears his frown, "Boys are stupid in too many ways to count. I think you're both stupid." Felix thinks he would leave it at that but right when he is about to respond Jiho continues, "And yet I still think you should be stupid together."
It isn't what Felix was expecting. A 'leave him to rot' or 'don't give him the time of day' maybe, but Jiho wasn't one to be so forgiving. "Why?"
The rapper quirks a brow. He looks to be holding back a sneer, "Because ever since you got his number you've been doing really well. I mean, up until this point. Chan has really brought out the best in you and we all saw how you loved talking to him."
Jiho releases his hand and gets up from the couch, "Take your time hyung, and do what you think is right. Listen to your heart for once, yeah?" He disappears into the hallway and Felix is left alone in the living room.
'Listen to your heart.' Felix thinks Jiho's logic is flawed. If he was being honest with himself the logical thing to do was to break away from Chan and keep his distance. Yet he hadn't done that either. Felix hasn't really made a decision on what he would do, but waiting seems like a solid option at this point regardless of what Jiho thinks.
Hopefully in time Chan would understand why Felix had left Stray Kids behind the way he did. Then, perhaps Jiho was right and they could move past this. The worries that had haunted him for years could finally be put to rest and he could move on from Stray Kids. And in moving on, maybe Felix could bring them back into his life. Just because he isn't part of the team doesn't mean he can't still be with them in different ways. Very different ways...
Felix turns and lays down on the couch as he hears the sound of the shower turning on. Slowly, he drifts off into a dream of winter kisses and cold hands. Perfect and lovely things that could keep his mind at ease until he would have to wake again. Jiho's words echo off the memories and the cold spots in his chest seem to slowly defrost as sleep overtakes him.
'Listen to your heart.'