I had dreams with last night, not nightmares, perhaps it was even one of the nights were I have slept most of the night without suddenly waking up.
It was like his lips were still connected in mine, like if I could still feel them in mine, or the way my cheeks were still flushed and warm from his gentle touch.
I walked down for breakfast in the morning, and got there earlier than Draco, so I sat alone in my usual place, he probably wouldn't take long.
"Well, well, long time no see." It wasn't even necessary for me to look up to know it was Blaise who has spoke.
"Indeed." I said firmly, and looked at my front to see him sat in his chair.
"How was your Christmas." He asked softly.
"It was not my best Christmas I dare to say, how about yours?" I asked, and placed a piece of food inside my mouth.
"Cold." He said clearly, and I rolled my eyes at his response.
"Do you know where Draco is?" I asked my gaze searching between the Great Hall, and I found him walking towards our table, and I sent him a smile, but his presence wasn't noticed by Blaise.
"That stubborn? Hell no idea." He said abruptly, while I was already holding back my laugh. "And honestly I don't even-" Draco cut him off making Blaise jump in his seat out of scare.
"Stubborn you say?" He asked amusingly.
"Thanks a lot for the warning, Blackwell." Blaise said angrily.
"Funny, I got some stories about you that I think Blackwell would like to hear...and let her decide which one is the most stubborn." Draco said crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"Don't you fucking dare." He said after moving to the side so Draco could see with him.
But before Blaise said anything else, his own gaze looked between Draco and me, making assumptions of why Draco was such in a good mood.
"Of course..." He said after some seconds. "My plan to get you guys together again worked pretty well." He said proud of himself.
"Which plan?" Me and Draco asked simultaneously, which made me blush.
"It's not of your bloody business." Blaise said firmly, trying to show that he's apparently mad at us.
"Watch your tone, Zabini." Draco said abruptly.
"Hey, he's back...awesome." Blaise said in the most disappointed tone he ever did.
I laughed at him, and watched them both, I was glad to see that most of the things are going back to normal, the most normal they can be nowadays.
"If you guys start speaking sentimental things and all that stuff, I swear I'm going to cut my ears off with this knife." Blaise said firmly, as if he was actually telling the true.
"You promise?" Draco asked amusingly, and both of us laughed at the sentence, except Blaise, whose features were firm, not the slightest hint of amusement in his face.
"I hate you." Blaise said firmly, as he went back to eat his food. "Both of you." He added.
"Is that supposed to bother me?" Draco asked amusingly.
We were trying to hold our laughs to not make a scene, while Blaise was everything but amused, however I swear I saw the corner of his lips raised a bit.
"Come on, mate laugh a bit." Draco said as he gave Blaise a small shove on the shoulder.
Blaise rolled his eyes, but laughed a bit along with us, at that moment nothing bothered me, no stress, no problems, it was just us, laughing between friends, like if the world wasn't burning into ashes.
{☆~☆}
My mother always said to face what I don't want to be faced.
Probably one of her advices which I tell myself that are not true, even knowing they perfectly are.
Which is relatable to what I'm facing right now, right on the top of a table in the common room, staring at me, almost like reading my soul, tearing and ripping my skin apart, pulling me into facing it by my mere curiosity.
A letter from my father.
"Are you...going to open it or..." I heard Blaise's voice ask near me. "Or are you going to stare in pure horror at it like if you read it already?" He asked awkwardly besides me.
I was sat in a couch near the fire place, Draco on my right side, Blaise on the other, I don't know for how long I've been staring at the letter, but to be honest is not really I'm really caring at all.
We weren't in our school robes, it was weekend, so we were in warm clothes do to the weather outside being cold.
"The longer you stare, the longer you will suffer, so just do it." Draco said firmly, the light from the dawn already being reflected in the windowns throughout the lake.
I let out a frustrated groan, and let my back hit the couch behind me, the edge backwards supporting the weight of my head as I did so.
"Just tell me what to do." I said desperately, our last conversation was a fight, and I hadn't the slightest idea of what could this letter contain.
"We have...for the past forty-five minutes." Blaise said loudly.
I looked at the fireplace in front of me, the flames burning everything around it, air, wood, turning it into ashes at the slight touch from it.
"Okay, fine." I grabbed the letter that was in the small table in front of me, and holded it in my hands. "It's either read it or burn it, choose." I said firmly, swinging the letter in front of his eyes.
"Read it."
"Burn it."
Both said both sentences at the same time, making me let out a frustrated groan, as my body fell completely limb in the couch.
Draco and Blaise were both staring at each other, a stare full of anger, and for Merlin I knew what was coming.
"Rock, paper, scissors?" Blaise asked firmly.
"Oh let's do it." Draco said, while rubbing both hands together, and placed them behind his back.
"I can't believe this." I whispered more to myself rather than to them, as I saw him playing rock, paper, scissors to see who would it win.
Oh, and how they are both competitive.
That's when I realized I would have to make this decision by myself wether I like it or not, better that than a stupid decision from a game.
I saw their hands playing right in front of me, most of the times it was always a tie, and at this point all the common room was staring at us.
"Ugh, you guys look like kids." I said frustrated.
I looked at the letter, beige parchment, a stamp from the house Blackwell, and of course my name on it.
While they were still focused on their litlle game, I came to and end that I can do both ideas, I read a bit if it doesn't pleases me then I'll burn it, looks like I'm the only sane here.
I opened it, their game stopped when they saw me doing it, and so I read the very first paragraph.
Lara
First I am the first to apologize for our argument, and I'm sorry if your mad at me.
But what you done was from a high level of irresponsibility.
I went to visit mother's grave as soon as I arrived, and I face myself at the sight of new flowers already there and I cannot believe that you disobeyed me-
I ripped the letter in half, and tossed it into the fire, causing the flames to rise a bit from it, regretting for try to read it and find some reason from his part, but only got me even full of ire from him.
"You should've read it until the end." Draco said firmly, his arms crossed in front of his chest.
"It's useless, I'm already regretted for reading the very first part." I was watching the letter burning bit by bit, my father had used his special litlle parchment that takes long to burn, perhaps because he foreseen me tossing it into the fire, but then I would regret from such action.
The only regret I had in my conscious was from even reading it like a fool.
"The last thing you want...is to be mad at your father...trust me." Draco said coldly, but I ignored his words as my gaze was watching the ink in the letter melting down.
"You see, I was right from the very beginning." Blaise said firmly.
"Yeah, amazing, Blaise, do you want a reward is that it?" Draco asked abruptly.
I got tired of their arguments crossing both the sides of my ears, and so I stood up from the couch, tired of watching the letter melting as well.
"Where are you going?" Draco asked as he caught sight of my abrupt movements.
"For a walk." I said firmly.
It wasn't his fault, I just needed some time to think alone, alone with my thoughts, and let out all my anger in them, not in the people I care, I wouldn't let the mood my father's letter gave me do that.
I was careful when walking outside the common room, I was allowed to be here of course it was morning, but the thought itself of crossing my path with the Carrows atorments me for some reason.
It was snowing, everything was covered in white, I wrapped my scraf around my neck so I wouldn't be cold, and cleaned the snow that was on the top of a bench.
I sat there watching the snow slowly falling until it hit the ground, watched the clouds moving between each other covering the light of the sun.
I thought if perhaps Draco was right, if perhaps I would regret for burning the letter.
I don't talk to my father since our fight, he did seemed regretted, that day I overreacted a bit, but I waa just full of anger so controlled by it, that I said things that shouldn't be said.
But what was done, it was done, there was no turning back, it was already burned to this time, so there was no way I could still read it, there is no times for regrets.
"Aren't you cold?" It wasn't necessary to move my gaze to know it was Draco who was speaking.
He sat near me in the bench, looking up at the sky as well, and waited for me to say something.
"I'm not regretted if that's what you came to really ask." I said firmly, even though that I had a deep feeling rotting inside me.
"I didn't came to ask anything...I just came to enjoy the snow." He said amusingly, and stood up from the bench, as my gaze followed all his movements.
He took a few steps forward, as his back was turned to me, he just stood there, admiring the snow fall, so I went back to look up at the sky.
Seconds after, I felt a freezing ball hitting the left side of my shoulder, making me jump out of scare and fall at my kness on the cold snow.
I looked up, to see Draco laughing hard, proud of himself of course, and so I grabbed the snow, made a shape of a ball and throwed it at him.
I hit him right on the middle of his chest, hitting his jacket, and he laughed and quickly went to make another ball.
I did the same, but he was faster and hit my shoulder, and then I throwed him another without barely looking at him as saw another coming on my way, which hit my arms as I covered my face.
My hands went to grab more snow, making balls with it, fastly while he did a lot of them as well, and started throwing them at me, and I gave a small scream with a laugh as the multiples balls hit my head and I covered my head with my arms.
He was laughing and throwing the balls non-stop, and I took the chance when he runned out of balls, to thrown the three balls I made.
The first one hit his back as he was trying leaned to make more, and he stood up to cover his body with his arms, the second one hitting them, and I got closer to try to hit his face, but the ball failed as he grabbed bkth my arms, holding them steady along my body.
"What are you going to do now, huh?" He asked amusingly as my arms were locked with my body as he hold them.
He was walking forward and I was stepping backwards as he did so, and suddenly I trip, and we both fall onto the snow, he on the top of me.
Even dressed with clothes I could feel the cold snow on my body, and his hot breath hitting my nose.
He stared at me for long seconds, like if I wasn't even here, a slight and warm smile appearing on his lips as he did so.
"Do something for me." He said softly, and reached for his pocket, showing a half burned letter. "Please read it." He said softly.
I stared at the letter long enough to be sick, and until I locked my gaze with him.
"I'll think about it." I said calmly, and a smile found it's way to his lips before he crashed them in mine passionately, being the only warm thing among all this snow.
{☆~☆}
I spent that night pacing around the room, wondering what to do with the letter, which was resting on the top of the table, half burned.
Clueless about what to do, I decided to think on what would my mother do in my situation, but she never let anything affect her, she would probably just read it and barely care of what it would sat and just toss it away, but that's a difference I have with my her, and sometimes, I hate it.
I let out a frustrated groan, the longer I wondered of what to do, or what it could say, the longer I would take to read it and forget it, so I just went to read it.
Some words were cut from the parchment as some parts in the corners were burned, so I managed my best to read it carefully.
Still...............remember.......something that I wished..........just like her.
The beginning was more damaged to make a full sentence out of it, so I jumped that part and read the less burned.
....
So I'm sorry, I'm terrible sorry, and I'm glad you actually went to your mother's grave, ... have to accept the fact that you're grown enough to take care of yourself, and Narcissa told me that you went with her son, it's true that I still don't like him, but I ..... say that he seems to care a lot about you.
I don't expect for you to forgive me, it's true I got mad at the beginning of this letter,.... that's because I knew you would burn it ....... so the part I didn't intend you to read would burn with it, except this on...
...hope you're doing well at school, I wish I had good news, but asides from the ......... that we haven't found the Potter's boy, there's nothing I can really say in these dark times, unfortunately.
I'm sorry, I wanted to protect you and I stepped over the line, but just so you know, your mother would be proud of y...
Your fathe..
Abel Bl........
Despite the parts were it was burned and cut off the letter, I could still make quite sense of it, and the river in my eyes proved that.
I didn't felt so guilty before.