||BLUE BELL||
My head hurts so bad. My heart is just as worse and it all feels like hell. It's been three stupid months since that night at the studio room and it feels like infinity. I miss Skye so bad I'm almost getting sick from thoughts of missing him. I swear if I had the power to turn back time I would and get us back to that night. If not that, do a fast forward to the future where both of us are living together.
I toss around the bed and massage my thumping head lightly with my palms. Stupid hangover. Even my eyes hurt from the excess daylight seeping into the room. I doubt mornings were ever this bright.
"Finally, you're awake," Salma prompts from the small couch in my bedroom.
I don't understand how she is up so early and looking radiant when just last night she was twice as drunk as I was. I'm never listening to her idea of having a two people party just for stress relief again. She convinced me into drinking three bottles of whiskey with her. I'm not even sure how I ended up in bed.
"Please don't start with me, Salma. I'm begging you," I implore sitting up and leaning on the headboard.
She's scrolling on her phone, probably stalking people on IG. A few weeks after Skye left, I decided to have Salma stay in my house much to her happiness. I figured I needed company to console with when the loneliness took a turn for the worst.
"It's urgent I promise," she says in a determined tone. Still scrolling on her phone.
"The only urgent thing to me is hearing Skye has come back and me needing to hurry to see him," I object.
"Gosh, you look pathetic," she groans when she raises her face from the phone to look at me. "Take the glass of water and Panadol to get your head working. It's almost midday," she orders.
I knew mornings were never so bright. I scowl at her for being bossy but she assumes me making me roll my eyes.
"Thanks," I mumble taking the glass of water and the medication.
Once I'm done, she joins me on the bed and shoves her phone on my face. My eyes widen at the photo of Mario, Skye and some lady on his back, all looking gloriously happy. It's good to know that while I am dying of missing him he is busy having fun with girls. Who is she even? She needs to get a charter for boundaries from me.
"What is Mario doing with Skye in Nigeria or Austria? No, this must be Bailamos," I stare at the photo once more only to have my eyes widen twice in horror.
"Wait, is that Joanna?!" I exclaim blinking to confirm if I'm seeing my own things. Yeap. It's Joanna. "Why the hell is she with them?" I ask furiously.
Why is she on his back all giggly when they broke up? I'm sure I did not imagine their break-up. It happened and I am the reason it happened. Gosh, this makes me feels so much worse. Skye needs to explain to me why he never told me that he is now buddies with his ex distraction. He also needs to know that I am so mad at him for never telling me about it. And that it hurts so bad to know that he is letting her so close when he knows we and Joanna are like water and oil. We'll never mix.
We may not know each other so much but he should never underestimate the power of a hateful and jealous woman. For all I know, she might be plotting agendas on how to pay him or me back for ditching her. She better not think of such fishy things otherwise she'll face the feral Blue. But she can wait. For now, I have to deal with Skye.
If it was something else he did to anger or annoying or frustrate me, I would try to understand. But this a matter concerning his ex who is leisurely giggling on my man's back. The same man who has mentioned nothing about their reunion. It hurts. So bad. Especially when the fact that his ex gets the opportunity to be with him and I don't, crosses my mind.
"Who is Joanna?" Salma asks frowning in confusion.
"The girl who was with Skye in Bulgaria. Did you already forget?" I respond in a little frustration before she snatches the phone and stares at her.
"Oh, man. I didn't recognise her. Why the hell is he on Skye's back?" she asks getting protective.
"I don't know. I'm as confused as you are," I mutter bitterly.
"There is much more to this and it exceeds me. You need to talk to him. He has some explaining to do. In the meantime, don't do what we girls like doing the best, jumping to conclusions. For all we know, they might have gotten back together but just as friends. I'm sure Skye won't betray what you two have. So until he confirms what they are and explains why he never told you, then pretend not to be affected even though I know it will be hard," Salma inputs.
"If they are friends again then he should have told me at least. Mostly because it concerns her. He knows I'm not a favourite in her diaries. I'm not sure why he wants us to get entangled," I whine.
"Just wait for his explanation and then we can judge from there," Salma suggests. "This is harder than I thought. It's so torturous and it feels like hell. It's testing your patience, trust, power to endure and every other testable whatnot. Stupid LDR," Salma mutters bitterly.
We were to supposed both Skye and Mario next week while shooting the project they have been developing. Though due to unavoidable circumstances like work for both of them, we had to accept the fact that we shall not be seeing them in at least another month. No disappointment matched the one we felt. It was mega and draining especially for Salma. She almost has four months of not seeing her beloved Mario.
"I'm never advising someone to try LDR. No matter how strong they think they are. It's so draining and drowning," I grumble.
"I couldn't agree more," she huffs going back to her phone.
I step off the bed and head over to the closet where I shed my pajamas and grab my towel then head to the bathroom. I'm trying not to overthink about Joanna because I might end up jumping to conclusions and the last thing I want to do is that. Skye better be having a good reason why he never thought of telling me about her.
☆☆☆☆
I walk into the living room aiming directly at my laptop. Salma is busy working on her laptop.
"What is it you write at four in the mornings. I forgot to ask. I have seen you do it several times now," she pries.
I take a seat on the working desk and grab my laptop, switch it on, make sure it is connected to the network before I make the call.
"It's a business plan or rather a proposal," I respond simply.
"For what? You want to start a business?" she pries further.
"I'm hoping so."
"What type of business?" her questions now sound like those I usually get from interviews and I do not like them.
"I'm not telling you yet. I'll be back once I'm done having a chat with Skye," she nods and I head over to the bedroom.
"Hey, baby," Skye greets on upon answering.
He looks like he just woke up. So handsome and adorable like a baby. Should be illegal. But that will not work on distracting me from the main agenda of this call.
"Hello. Were you sleeping?" I ask my eyes darting on the screen.
"Yeap. I had another busy day and I haven't slept in like two days," he whines. "I'm almost calling it quits," he adds making me chuckle.
Lately, work has also been a bitch to me and like him, I'm almost thinking of calling it quits.
"You're not alone in the club. Perhaps we should call it quits and do something more exciting and involves both of us," I suggest. He tilts his head sideways prompting me to continue. "Like travelling the world," I wink.
"Believe me, right now, I can argue it to be the best idea," he says in a serious tone that turns out hilarious.
"So, I wanted to ask about Joanna," he smirks at the mention of her name.
It's not a subject to smirk about and he should know that.
"You saw the photo, I see. I promise that you don't have to worry about her, polka princess. She knows we're together and she respects that. I made sure she got that into her head," he explains.
He does not even flinch when he knows that I saw the photo. He has to be kidding or perhaps I'm the one who is overreacting. Possibly it's not me but him.
"Does she respect that? In the picture she was all over you, Skye," I counter in a slightly bitter tone.
"Do I sense jealousy here?" he asks with a smug face.
If he was here I would punch that smug face. This is not something funny and I think I need to say it out loud the next time he thinks it's funny.
"I'm talking about Joanna and not me," I retort.
Admittedly, I'm jealous of her. She gets the chance to spend time with Skye while I don't. But I won't say it out loud.
"I promise you don't have to worry about it," he repeats annoying me a little.
"I want to believe you, Skye. But I cannot do that with her. Never underestimate the power of a jealous woman. You'd be surprised at what she can do. We both know I am not a favourite of Joanna's specifically because you lied to her and then left her for me. For all I know, I might be her worst enemy and she might be seeking to destroy me through you. Simply by snaking her way back into your life. I can't have that, Skye," I preach.
Damn it. I feel so pathetic for all that whining which I doubt makes any sense. Regardless, as long as I got it out of the chest then it doesn't matter.
"Blue, that is never going to happen. You own me, remember?" he asks cocking his brows on the screen.
"I remember, Skye. It's just that girls like that can never be trusted."
"You can trust me," he says.
"Sure I can trust you but after today are you sure I should? I mean, you never told me about Joanna and if it wasn't for the photo I wouldn't know that you two are friends again. Do you know how mad, frustrated and annoyed I was? I was also hurting from missing you so bad. Imagine the double feeling when I saw Joanna getting the opportunity I so wish I had, Skye."
"It's so hard already and I don't want it to get harder because of lack of straightforward communication. Especially when it is the only way we have to keep us going. You know better than want to destroy our only means of communication and we both know we don't want to go back to begging for a fourth chance from one another. So I'm begging you, please don't keep anything that I should know from me."
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it. Honestly, I thought of telling you but I was afraid you would get upset. I chose the easy way out but it ended up hurting you. I'm sorry. I should have told you. I promise to communicate better from now on," he apologises in a sincere tone.
"Anything else I should know before you start practising effective communication?" I ask.
"Please don't get mad, Joanna is my dance partner in the live show we will be having today," he spills and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse.
"What the...And you're just telling me now? Ugh, come on Skye. Why do you always tell me things last minute? I hate it. Goodness, gracious," I mutter failing to believe that he is only telling me that now after they have been working on the show for almost three weeks. So unbelievable!
"Now I know I'm such a pathetic dude. I'm sorry, baby. I don't expect you to forgive me or understand my timid actions, but I am sorry. Sincerely sorry," he emphasises.
Deciding that I am not in the mood to get more annoyed and frustrated, I click the hangup button. When the call disconnects I take in a deep breath to calm myself down before I put him on mute to avoid disturbances until I'm ready to have a chat with him again.
"What now," Salma asks as I stomp my feet back into the living room.
"Skye just told me they're friends and she is his dance partner for the live show they'll be attending tonight. He said he thought telling me would upset me. Pathetic excuse," I grumble placing the laptop on the desk and walking to the kitchen.
I need to find myself breakfast. Ugh. It's almost one. That should be lunch. I think I'll just cook lunch. It will be a perfect distraction from overthinking.
"Did he react much about you seeing the photo?" Salma asks joining me in the kitchen.
"Nope. He was smirking when I mentioned it," I respond and she chuckles. "What is funny?"
"You look hilarious when you're on edge because of him," she responds.
"You're pathetic too," I slur grabbing the ingredients I'll need to make Skye's famous brown rice. "He should understand that if he keeps things like that he will only work on creating a rift between us and I don't want that to happen. It's complicated enough to start complicating it any further. Does he know how hard it is to keep trusting and hoping? It's a hustle to keep those two intact."
"I have decided not to overthink about anything anymore. I'm just going to focus on myself until when time decides to allow me to see him again," Salma mumbles.
"I'm with you on that one," I sigh.
No more getting exhausted. I'll just relax and let things move at their own pace. Perhaps when we leave things alone they'll tend to work faster and soon enough we will be with them.