I didn’t have time to wait around for the recon squad Tsunade had haphazardly put together after finding Sasuke’s location. I planned to head out an hour earlier, but Kakashi decided against it, he wanted me to be beside Naruto for at least another sixty minutes before cutting myself out of everyone’s lives forever. I had no intention to come back to the Leaf, I never did.
A team of eight shinobi, all faces that knew me and others that only knew of me stood around in a circle deliberating their moves on the rooftop of the Phoenix Temple on the outskirts of Konohagakure. Sakura made it quite clear that we were in ‘pursuit’ of Sasuke and Itachi, having figured out why I was so hostile to the idea of capturing Itachi for information.
“We’ll start by searching everywhere in a five kilometre radius using this roof as our centre,” Kakashi said. “If we don’t come up with anything, we’ll relocate and search another five kilometre area and repeat until we find a clue.”
I crouched on the phoenix carving at the northern point of the roof, not wanting to deliberate with the Leaf Nin. Their entire focus was on little Sasuke, little Sasuke that could do no harm to anyone, little Sasuke who didn’t mean to leave because it was all Orochimaru’s fault, little Sasuke that loved the village just as much as he loved his beloved Nii–San.
“Five kilometres?” Sakura griped. “Our wireless equipment won’t work if we split up that far! And we’ll be in danger if we’re alone when something happens!”
All Sakura had talked about from the village gates to the temple was the probability of finding Sasuke, going on the assumption that he wouldn’t use the Chidori to kill you first. To Sakura, Sasuke never had the intention to leave the village at all―it just had to be some other motive to make him leave, to her, Sasuke could never be in the wrong. She blamed the elder brother, the bastard Uchiha, Itachi. Oh how warped her mind had become in pursuit of unjustified love.
“We should go in teams of two at the very least,” Sakura clenched her fists. “That way, if we encounter any enem―”
“Relax, Sakura.”
A new voice, one I hadn’t heard for four years, cut the pink haired Haruno off. Tenzo aspirated onto the tiled roof with his red striped cloak, matching the rest of the eight personnel squad. He’d cut his hair short and donned a hitai-ate that matched Tobirama Senju’s. Without the ANBU mask, I could see the strange almond shape of Tenzo’s eyes, the pupil-less orbs that stared through your entire being.
To avoid any further arguments, Kakashi slammed his fist against the tiled roofing. The black summoning pattern extended across the ceramics and a cloud of swirling smoke produced a pack of eight hounds varying in breed, shape and size. They were tracking summons, however, their view would be limited to the ground.
“The echoes of your voices will reach our ears just as fast as wireless gear,” announced Pakun. “And our noses will detect danger well enough in advance to back the closest person up.”
“Here’s how our patrols will work. Each person on patrol will have two of my Hound Nin as bodyguards,” Kakashi smirked beneath his visor. “Alright, Naruto since you’re a Jinchuriki, you’re an obvious target. The Akatsuki might attack you first so you’ll be going with Yamato for backup and Hinata for her scouting abilities.”
“What about her?” Naruto nodded his head at me.
“Ets―Shinkoshoku will be surveying by herself, we’re merely backup if trouble arises. Since she has a summoning of her own, she won’t need the help of my hounds. Is that okay with you Naruto?” Kakashi queried.
Naruto bit his lip, “Fine.”
“Okay guys, remember that trailing Sasuke takes priority,” Kakashi said to the majority of the group before his lone eye trailed on me. “The Akatsuki comes second along with Itachi, though his scent must also be trailed. Regardless of which target you find, your mission is only to determine their location and report back here.”
All the novice Nin scattered in different directions, leaving Kakashi and I standing on the rooftop alone. I could feel his stare burn into the back of my skull as I nervously pulled the bandages around my arms. The dread of Itachi’s prominent end along with my own (and not to mention everyone’s eternal love for Sasuke’s return) was starting to set in, and it made me angry, so damn angry.
“He’ll miss you,” Kakashi said, looking up into the cloudless sky.
“He already does,” I murmured, pulling the collar of my Akatsuki robe up past the bridge of my nose.
“You shouldn’t have to do this, sacrifice yourself for the good of the village I mean. You aren’t Itachi, you shouldn’t have to follow in his footsteps to be with him,” Kakashi pressed his palm between my tense shoulder blades. “Naruto needs you more.”
“I’ve already lost them both a thousand times, maybe this time…we’ll get lost together,” I whispered, already feeling my consciousness leave me.
***
Kuragari ruffled his feathers beneath the cover of a heavily leaved branch. My crow overlooked Kisame and Itachi taking refuge in the ever-present storm in Kemurigakure. Being the only two true surviving Akatsuki members, I pitied them; especially Kisame―he would become the source of information once Itachi and I are dead.
“It hasn’t let up one bit,” Kisame squinted up at the sky. “It’s odd for it to be raining so much here in the Smoke, especially at this time of year.”
Itachi silently took five bold steps forward into the downpour, angling his head so the droplets could disguise the tears that smeared his cheeks. Itachi was an actor until the end, trying to play everyone for fools, but the Sharingan see through all―even deception.
“We shouldn’t stay out here for too long,” Kisame urged, a grimace played on his lips when Itachi didn’t respond. “Look…I’m not too sure what you’re thinking, and given how ruthless you are, it’s strange to say this but…from here it looks like you’re crying. It’s certainly a shame about Etsuko’s demise and Sasuke’s off-radar status. But think of this, you could possibly now be the sole member of the Uchiha Ichizoku.”
“No,” Itachi’s voice echoed. “Etsuko is not dead yet, and besides…”
“What?” Kisame frowned.
“The storm,” Itachi winced, “has passed.”
[Time Skip]
I rendezvoused back with the squad, with an Inazuma boy leading the way with his own personal hound. I didn’t want to protest and say that finding Sasuke would be futile, that tracking him down would lead to an unwanted battle―but no, Sasuke would not fight, he’d one to be in his top condition to fight Itachi. To kill Itachi.
“Hey Shinkoshoku, whoever you are, would you slow down? You’re throwing off my concentration,” the boy yipped at me like the domestic hound he was. “I need to focus as hard as I can to not lose what little scent there is of Sasuke, and with you digging that huge blade of yours into the trees to propel you forward, isn’t helping.”
Just to make my point known, I swung the Nagamaki into an oncoming branch, shattering it instantly from the force of impact. Wood chips and splinters tore through the air, imbedding themselves into the rain soaked earth below. A few complaints erupted from the Nin behind me who were currently brushing fragments of wood from their cloaks.
“What’s wrong, Kiba?” Naruto piped up from the back of the crowd.
Kiba had stopped his pace (since he was trying to go faster than me) and was still on the branch two in front of me. I struck the Nagamaki into the side of a trunk and perched on it, awaiting the news from Kiba’s ‘gifted sense of smell’. I could feel the shift in power easily, but my nostrils didn’t have the gift of tracking and Sasuke’s chakra signature was too faint to pinpoint a definite location.
“We’re in trouble, Sasuke’s on the move!” Kiba shouted.
“We gotta hurry,” Naruto hissed. “He’s probably going straight for Itachi!”
Perhaps I was wrong; Naruto was still hot-headed as ever. Once again, I saw him as the little boy that tried to paint the Hokage faces red with slander thinking that the village had turned their backs on him, that I had turned my back on him. Naruto’s pain was my pain, thanks to the blaster Kyuubi; I could empathise with Naruto’s anguish over Sasuke.
That being said, Naruto’s powers of deduction failed him, he needed to be observant. Karin was a tracker, meaning that she had probably caught onto the Leaf Nin’s scent before we regrouped and travelled in a pack. Knowing this, Karin would’ve spread Sasuke’s clothing or some sort of item around to distract the hounds and lead us in separate directions.
As predicted, Kiba confirmed my theory.
“Something’s not quite right. Sasuke’s scent just split up,” he patted his hound’s mane. “It’s going all over the place in every direction.”
“Our only shot is to look everywhere at once, there’s no time to think!” Naruto made a hand sign and I couldn’t help but smile. “Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!”
I watched with glee as hundreds of shadow clones scattered throughout the forest on Naruto’s command, tracking down Sasuke’s scent. The memory of watching him practice that same technique brought unwanted tears to my eyes; Naruto would have no recollection of it―all because of the cruel Kotoamatsukami that I placed on him.
“Etsu–Chan I wanna try something,” Naruto wiped the sweat from his brow and grinned.
When I gave a nod in response, Naruto took a wide stance and used a hand sign that I didn’t recognise, “Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!”
Three clouds of smoke erupted from the earth surrounding Naruto and three identical replicas of himself started laughing. I frowned once I recognised the technique; it was the forbidden shadow clone jutsu that was created by Tobirama Senju.
I didn’t ask how Naruto came about to learn the jutsu, or who taught it to him, I simply combated each of his fists. One of the clones charged at me with a kunai, since he was sloppy and lacked form; I knocked the kunai from the clone’s hand and punched straight through it.
“Eh you’re no fun,” Naruto pouted as he worked with the remaining two clones to land a hit on me.
“Take this, kya!”
Naruto leaped high into the air with another kunai poised for attack; his two clones on the ground aimed their fists at my side. Since Naruto was boxing me in, I had no choice but to create my own clone as a substitution.
“Karasu Bunshin no Jutsu!”
I swapped places with my clone and watched Naruto strike the clone. The kunai went straight through the clone’s body before feather’s flaked off, taking the colour of the image with it. Once the crows disappeared, no body remained. I watched in silent amusement as Naruto jumped about yelling.
“You just need to pick up on your form, how you execute the final blow, “I said to Naruto as I slid from my perch on the tree and summoned Kuragari. I slowed my motion down so Naruto knew what I meant when I pressed my knuckles against his padded chest. “Your technique is sound, but with a bit of practice and speed training, you’ll be ready for your exams.”
“Un!” Naruto fist pumped in the air and then pouted at me. “But no fair with that crow technique, you need to teach me that!”
I winched and rested my forehead against the plum hilt of my Nagamaki. The memory itself made my insides clench in guilt. I should’ve been there to teach you the technique, I should’ve guided you, trained with you, loved you…
“Ohi, are you coming or not?” Naruto spat at me, his tone hostile.
“H–hai,” I slid my blade into its sheath and shot behind Naruto, seeing the optimistic little boy that called me Sensei, instead of the calloused teenager that he’d become―no fault but my own. “Gomenasai,” I whispered, “Uzumaki…Naruto.”
***
In the commotion to find Sasuke, Naruto had separated himself from the group, claiming to feel a ‘dark aura’. From the black crows feathers that scattered the ground and surrounding green, I knew they weren’t from my crow, and since the only person I could think of that had a crow summon, happened to be wanting to see Naruto.
It came to mind that Naruto was indeed on Itachi’s hit list of Bijuu extraction, so I quietly slipped from the horde of Leaf Nin and trailed Naruto just to make sure he was safe. Naruto dropped from the branch and slid across the grass, his blue eyes awake with fear and anticipation. I noted the airy gasp he gave out when glaring at a tree trunk a few metres in front of his own.
“Sh…Sharingan!” Naruto gasped. “SASUKE.”
I shook my head and kept to the canopy, observing from above as Naruto hid from the cloaked figure whose identity I knew too well. Itachi stepped out from the shadows, his impassive mask made up to perfection compared to the weeping man that stood in the rain just a few hours earlier. Yet seeing him there in the flesh and blood, so close to death, made my blood turn cold and set my nerves on fire―I wanted to run to Itachi, embrace him, make him take my life instead of having me witness take his own.
“Itachi Uchiha,” Naruto winced between clenched teeth.
“Show yourself, Naruto Uzumaki,” Itachi commanded.
Naruto did as told and stepped out from behind the tree that kept him safe. An area of about eight metres separated them. It was an odd picture, a paradox of black and white. Naruto with his blonde hair, sun-warmed features and blue eyes gave a confident huff at Itachi whose charcoal black hair, snow-white skin and crimson eyes showed no empathy.
“Finally gonna try and capture me?” Naruto challenged.
“No,” Itachi said. “I merely wanted to talk with you.”
“Like I’m going to fall for that again,” he snapped.
I leaned forward on the branch, eager to see what Naruto would do. Itachi meant no harm, that wasn’t his intention. I just hope Naruto remember what I’d told him when we last encountered Itachi as a group. When one on one with a Sharingan, your only hope is to escape. If it’s two against one, attack from behind.
Itachi can cast Genjutsu just by pointing the same finger he used to make seals; Naruto would have to be careful plotting his next moves. However, Naruto wasn’t alone and if harm were ever to befall him, I would be there to take the brunt. I watched Naruto take a step back and I sighed.
“I see you’ve learned a little about fighting the Sharingan,” Itachi observed. “You must know what to do when you’re alone. Why aren’t you running, I don’t sense your backup.”
“With me, my numbers can be anywhere from one to one thousand, I can’t afford to run this time or have that girl protect me. I’ve gotta capture you so I can find Sasuke!” Naruto grinned confidently.
Remember me, please, I begged silently.
“What is it about my brother that makes you care about him so much? He’s a rogue ninja who abandoned you…just like everyone else,” Itachi countered.
I saw the recognition on Naruto’s features when the word ‘abandoned’ was mentioned. No doubt he’d gripped onto a sliver of a memory, before the Kotoamatsukami whisked it out of his grasp, just to be forgotten once more.
“Because he’s like a brother to me, just like she was an elder sister,” Naruto deadpanned. “You took her away from me, stole all memory of her…I hate you for it!”
Itachi smirked and lifted the tail of the Akatsuki robe. From the red velvet folds, hundreds of black crows shot at Naruto like feathered missiles. The scream that tore from my lips was unintentional and I instantly went into protection mode. The webbed green limb of my Susanoo stretched out to block the crows, but they shot through the barrier, knocking me to the ground and enthralling Naruto in Genjutsu.
“NARUTO!” I shrieked.
Seconds, minutes, hours, days―time blurred together as one. I only knew the Genjutsu was nullified when the mass of black swirling crows evaporated leaving Naruto in a quivering mess on the ground. A sob wretched from Naruto’s gut as his fingers dug into the soft grass that captured us.
“Wh–why?” I wasn’t sure who Naruto was speaking to. “You were never after me, were you? Why did you have to make me remember everything? Damn it Itachi!”
“I have to leave you for now, I’ve got a very important matter to deal with,” Itachi said before his crimson Sharingan flicked over to me. “You cast a well thought out Kotoamatsukami, Etsuko, but it wasn’t enough to eradicate yourself from his memories. I applaud your efforts for trying though, you always were so stubborn.”
My eyes widened and I inhaled a sharp breath, turning my head to Naruto. The blonde haired Uzumaki stared back at me, his blue eyes shaking in their sockets. His lips formed my name but no sound came out, his whiskers were distorted between his tears and I finally pieced it together. Itachi had broken the Kotoamatsukami I placed on Naruto, he broke my safety net. Naruto remembered, every single detail about our former lives, how I left him, how I continued to hurt him.
“Why?” Naruto repeated, directing it at me.
“I…” my voice failed me.
“Etsuko Uchiha,” Naruto reached out to touch me, two of his fingers pressed against the fabric of my maroon bandana. “It’s really you,” he gave me a watery smile, “Dattebayo…”
I wasn’t sure if I was the only one able to hear Itachi, but when I stole my gaze away from the blonde Uzumaki, I saw the man’s eyes visibly soften as if he were wishing to be Naruto caressing my face. A strong gust of wind blew through, muffling his words.
“Think twice before using Genjutsu, Etsuko,” Itachi said as his body fragmented into crows. “If you were wise, you would follow Kuchibashi at midnight, find me alone.”
***
Kuchibashi found me easily, his smaller size compared to Kuragari showed his inferiority. There was no wooden Tomoe necklace around his plume, but I respected Itachi’s summon and followed without question.
Naruto had talked to me for hours on end, regaling memories that made me weep and howl at the moon. We discussed evens from the past, present and my non-existent future. Naruto understood, strangely enough, that my time was limited on this earth. He knew that an event like this would tear us away from each other once again. I allowed my old student to hold me tight, to stroke my short hair and sniffle into my shoulder because it would probably be the last chance he would ever get to have me close.
“Don’t go Etsuko,” Naruto whimpered, his face illuminated by the campfire. “I’ll miss you.”
I beckoned him forward with a wave of my hand and gave a wry smile, “To become Hokage, you must be able to withstand everything. I believe in your Naruto, you’ll stop missing me one day, you’ll move on.”
“But…but I love you,” he whispered, eyes blurring.
“If I had a heart left to give, you would hold it,” I pressed my index and middle finger against his forehead and sniffed. With my free hand, I pulled out the bloodied Gin–Sho piece and held it against Naruto’s chest. “Take it.”
“Why, it’s a Shogi piece,” he frowned.
“It’s to show that nothing in life plays in your favour, but I will always watch over you Naruto Uzumaki. Whether it be in Takamagahara or Yomi, I will always bet there, I will never abandon you,” I pushed back to scrub away his tears with my thumbs. “Dattebayo.”
“Dattebayo,” Naruto echoed softly, clutching the Gin–Sho over his heart.
The summoning crow lead me to an abandoned village, one that hadn’t seen visitors in over ten years. All of the buildings were left to rot and bones jutted out from the cobbled pavements, the Village Hidden in Night had been a battle ground years ago and most of the occupants either fled or were killed during the Fourth Great Ninja War. I ran my bandaged fingers over the soot covered awnings that barred the entry way to a home that Kuchibashi signalled to.
I ducked beneath the beams and headed towards the stone staircase to the second level. It was an open studio-like room with one bed in the corner out of the reach of the small rectangle of silver moonlight. Casting a shadow in the vortex was Itachi, his back to me, staring out at the stars.
“You know if you told Sasuke the truth, none of this trouble would have happened,” I said, making my way closer to Itachi until I was a hairs breadth behind him.
“It wouldn’t have worked,” Itachi stated firmly. When it came to his point in arguments, he could be more stubborn than me. Itachi wasn’t going to make any concessions to rethink his suicide mission. “He can never know, I need him to restore honour to the Uchiha name―he can do what Shisui always wanted, something that neither of us can do because our time has run aground. Knowing the truth will only taint the memories of what family he had. Let him have his revenge and be done with it.”
“His hate will only increase, death shouldn’t be your last resort,” I reasoned.
Itachi sighed at me, I knew he wanted me to understand, and I did―but the motives confused me. One day, would that day be now? Itachi’s cloak slid from his shoulders to pool at his feet. He was left standing in his torp shirt and thick pants, leaving his feet bear. I could see the augmented amount of blotches on his forearms and neck; I rubbed the back of my own neck out of impulse.
“You know about the First Branch disease or whatever you want to call it. Even if I had talked things out with Sasuke and nothing bad ever happened, my fate would still be the same. I have no strength to live anymore, there’s no motivation. I’m just so tired,” he said.
“We could relive Shisui’s dream and travel the countries together, live as nomads with no clan or village ties to hold us back,” I mused. “Perhaps them we could all die in a peaceful place without any judgement cast upon us, not even Sasuke could find us.”
“If only it were that simple,” Itachi replied. “You can never tell him, he must never learn the truth. Promise me Etsuko, that if you live longer than I, you can never tell him.”
“I have no desires with Sasuke; you should know that by now. But let me warn you right now, to restore the Uchiha name one must be of valance and be pure of heart and mind―Sasuke never fitted the mould to be a strong leader, he has destroyed our pride and honour,” I clenched my fists.
“You gave your Sharingan up for not only me, but Sasuke. Your hatred was just as strong as it was when we were children, but don’t like to me, you thought of Sasuke in those moments of death. You wanted him to stand by Naruto when you couldn’t…and he did,” Itachi murmured.
“I wonder if it’ll hurt them as much it would hurt me, dying I mean,” I didn’t mean to say it aloud.
“What do you mean?” Itachi turned to me.
The conversation was already tiring me out, and I’m pretty sure I had the same amount of purple bags beneath my eyes as Itachi. Deep down I knew this would be the last time I would speak with Itachi, the last time we could love each other, see each other, be with each other. He would leave me and I’d let go, just like the countless of times before. Unshed tears laced my voice, it tore me up to see him so vulnerable, so un-Itachi. Out of all the things I hated in the world, he was the one thing I hated―hating the fact that I would have to let go, with no scrap of clothing to remember him by.
“Etsu–Chan?” he prompted with pleading eyes.
“It seems like I won’t be alone,” I said with a smile, though it didn’t mirror how I felt.
I tugged the loose edges of linen between my teeth to reveal the same blemishes that marked Itachi. His eyes raked over them, narrowing before widening in horror, he didn’t think I’d meet his same fate. With the Gin–Sho gone and lack of Nagamaki (I left it next to Kakashi’s sleeping body), I was free of any real weapons to defend myself from Itachi’s embrace. It was violent; he tugged me to him with such force that the air was knocked out of my lungs.
“No,” Itachi whispered, “no, no, no, no!”
“I thought we established this by now Ita–Kun,” I coughed. “If you go down, I go with you.”
“But not like this!” he shouted.
“Don’t think of the life we could have, but the life lived,” I said, too tired to even argue with his mission for Sasuke. “If I could live again, I wouldn’t change a thing. This pain…it’s awakening, it’s a feeling that I cherish yet loathe at the same time. However, there’s only one thing I must ask of you.”
“Hn?” Itachi looked at me and actually saw me.
Together, right now, wrapped in each other’s arms I wasn’t Shinkoshoku Toge the bounty hunter/rogue Nin wanted for treason against the Leaf and Akatsuki and Itachi wasn’t the famed bastard that murdered his clan out of cold blood. We were two people, two people that had reached the end of their ropes and were overdue on letting go. We were Etsuko and Itachi once more with no masks, hats or cloaks to hide behind. No lies to spread or Genjutsu to cheat fate, we’d accepted ours.
We were stubborn and proud, the silly little weasel that had found himself entangled in sharp thorns that bled crimson. That silly little weasel would die from his stupid pride, and those thorns would miss the sting of fresh meat and would soon shrivel and die. That silly little weasel, how everyone hated him so. Everybody except the stubborn thorn thrush, blossoming into a radiant flower.
“Love me,” I poked two fingers at his forehead with a whisper.
“Always,” he returned the gesture with a kiss.
[A/N: i think this was my favourite chapter to write tbh.]