'I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing, with a broken heart that's still beating.'
-Broken, Lifehouse-
Valentina
The weather was comfortable, and a cool breeze was making me feel chilly, so I wrapped my arms around my shoulder. We finished dinner and stepped out into the balcony; the doors closed behind us.
I could hear Xavier's footsteps approach me, and after a slight rustle, the warmth of his suit coat enveloped me, almost engulfing my form as it slid over my shoulders.
In one swift motion, he spun me around to softly collide with his chest, my palms resting on his shoulders. His long fingers gripped my waist possessively, as he looked right at me with an indecipherable expression.
"Have I already told you how gorgeous you're looking tonight, love?" Xavier whispered in his low, husky voice, one of his hands disappearing into my hair and holding the back of my head gently to look up at him.
"Mhmm, you have," I murmured, and he sighed, leaning in for a kiss, the passion taking my breath away as our lips moved in perfect synchronization. The kiss was sweet, short, but it made my knees feel weak as he pulled away gently.
"I have to tell you again, baby, you look breathtaking," he said, his gaze focused on my swollen lips, which I unconsciously bit.
"You drive me crazy when you do this," he softly stated, using his thumb to free my bottom lip from the assault.
"I look forward to biting it myself tonight," Xavier smirked as I was surprised, but two can play this game.
"Then what are we waiting for, babe?" I smirked as he was stunned momentarily.
"Oh, darling, I plan to devour you tonight," he chuckled darkly, the sound making me feel like I was on fire, as he tugged me along, his palm secured around mind, walking to the car.
The first hit came out of nowhere, and in the blink of an eye, the baseball bat swung into my vision and landed on his head. My palm was left cold as Xavier clutched the back of his head, uttering a string of curses.
However, it took him barely a few seconds to retaliate, and he stood up straight, his large form towering over mine.
A pair of arms snaked around my waist, and I was pulled into someone. My initial instinct was to free myself, but the cold metal against my collarbone made me freeze completely.
Xavier turned and his pitch-black orbs zeroed in on the man holding me, his rage burning. He took a step forward, but the man behind me spoke.
"For every movement you make, I'll cut her once, deep," he spoke gruffly, threatening Xavier, who stopped in his tracks, holding himself back.
"What the fuck do you want?" Xavier's voice sounded a hundred times more dangerous than the man behind me.
"It's simple really. She needs to watch what we can do," the man said, and Xavier frowned, confusion mixed with his rage.
Almost 6 more men walked forward, three of them grabbed Xavier and held him in place.
In a few seconds, Xavier freed himself by knocking them away, but a scream ripped out of my throat as the knife dug into my arm, and travelled down, deep inside, making a wound, the blood trailing its away down to my palm and to the floor.
Xavier practically roared, trying to rush to me but his eyes landed on the man behind me, and he stopped. The men grabbed him again, but this time he didn't make any movements.
Pain soared through my arm, but the pain of watching the punch land right into his stomach making a sickening thud was beyond anything I was feeling.
His head hung low, and he slowly raised it halfway, his eyes looking into mine, as if telling me 'Don't worry, babygirl, I'm okay', and I watched as they delivered punches after punches to his body, fatigue making him sink to the ground slowly.
But his eyes remained on me, holding the same expression. Between the chaos, somehow, I found my voice.
"B-baby, hit back, HIT BA-," I began to scream, but a hand closed around my throat, clasping me painfully. My fingers clawed at the hand, but it refused to let me go.
Xavier's head fell as he took the punches, groaning in pain.
The man let my throat go and I sputtered, trying to catch air in my burning lungs.
"W-why?" I weakly uttered, and the man behind me chuckled, gripping my arm tightly.
"You know why, Valentina," he whispered in my ear and suddenly, everything stopped.
"Should I kill him, here, right now?" He asked, and I violently shook my head, my body shivering in fear.
"Then you leave him. And soon. We don't like waiting," he stated, and then released his grip on me. His men let Xavier go, who immediately collapsed to the ground, his breathing soft and shallow.
His white shirt was soaked with blood spatters, face bruised. The men got into a van and sped away as I dragged myself to Xavier, holding his head on my lap.
"Xavier? Baby?" I whispered, but his eyes remained closed, his breathing ragged, and he lay limp in my hands. Helplessness gripped every inch of me, and I fumbled with my bag to get my phone.
"911, what's your emergency?"
"I-I need an ambulance, please, right now."
The hospital walls seemed to close in at an agonizingly slow pace, as I waited for someone to tell me that Xavier is okay. My dress was stained with his blood and so were my palms. I looked at them and they quivered, making me feel dizzy.
He has to be okay, dear God please, I beg you, let him be okay.
The doctor walked towards me, and I stood up suddenly, the dizzy feeling overwhelming me, but I ignored it.
"Mrs. Knight?"
"Y-yes," I replied, and he smiled at me.
"Please do not worry. There are no concussions, and nothing is broken. The bruises are all external and should be fine within a week," he said, and the walls stopped closing in.
"B-but he collapsed. His breathing was-it was so slow."
"The number of times he was hit took a toll on him, but the power of the strikes merely left bruises on him. Mrs. Knight, your husband is an exceptionally strong man," the doctor stated, and I sighed in relief.
"In fact, he's conscious right now and doing good, you can go ahead and see him."
That statement was enough to send me rushing through the corridor, and I burst into the hospital room.
"Y-you're, okay?" I mumbled, and he looked up at me, taking my very breath away. He was seated on the bed with a bandage wrapped around his head, and some more where he took the punches. The swelling on the bruises of his face had gone down, but they still looked painful.
Why is it that he looked unbelievably handsome?
"Of course, babygirl," he smiled at me, gesturing me to come to him.
"Oh my God, Xavier, I thought something happened. I c-couldn't even-," I sobbed before I could say anything and he pulled me into him, his legs touching the ground on the side of the bed and my body between them.
"It'll take much more than that to take me down, sweetheart. I'm Xavier Knight," he smirked, wiping my tears away gently with his thumb.
"W-why didn't you fight back?" I asked, and he became visibly angry, his fists tightening.
"If beating me up meant that they wouldn't hurt you, then I'm fucking glad I chose that. When you screamed, princess, it felt like someone ripped my heart out," he said, pain evident in his eyes as he looked at me, like I'm his most precious possession.
"Wait. Did you tell them you're injured?" He asked, his body went stiff as he touched my arm and I groaned in pain.
"I uh-forgot about that," I mumbled, looking at the gash on my arm.
"Forgot? FUCKING FORGOT?!" Xavier's voice boomed across the room, and I took a deep breath in before smiling at him.
"Why the fuck are you smiling, Valentina? I'm pissed," he said, his arms secure around my waist as he looked for the button to press to call for the nurse. I placed my palms on his face.
"I'm just glad you're okay," I managed to say, before the dizziness took over me and I fainted in his arms.
The slow beating of my own heart was rhythmic as I peeled open my eyes, feeling like I've slept for a year or so. The soft comforter I felt made me realize that we were back home. But not my apartment.
I tried to sit up, by my palm wasn't strong enough to hold up my body, and I was about to fall back before a strong hand placed itself on my lower back, hoisting me up with ease.
"How are you feeling, love?" His gruff yet velvety smooth voice made me feel like I've died and passed onto heaven, but then again, this man is my boyfriend in real life.
"I'm f-fine," I managed to croak out and he handed me a glass of water before propping me up on pillows.
"Sure, sweetheart. Which is why your arm is in a bandage and you collapsed on me a few hours ago," Xavier stated dryly, his expression void of any amusement after I flashed my nervous smile.
"Oh my God, wait, are you okay? Baby, where does it hurt?" I panicked and he sighed, bringing his body close to mine, rubbing my thighs gently as he reassured me.
"Relax, princess. I'm the one who's actually fine here," he said, worry making him frown as his other hand strokes my cheek softly.
"Xavier, I need to talk to you," I whispered, every single thought occupying my mind pushing me to get this done and over with.
"Sweetheart, we'll talk about everything later. How about we get some sleep, love?" He smiled, sliding into bed beside me as he held me close, his arms securely wrapped around me.
Just this one last time.
One last night in his arms, so I can remember this for as long as I live.
It must be done. I have to end this.
Xavier slept soundly beside me, his arm holding me close, his beautiful hair flopped on his forehead. He looked so peaceful, so serene.
My fingers softly touched the white gauze around his head, and a tear traced its way down my cheek.
If I could describe myself in a word, it would be selfish.
How could I let this happen? I knew the consequences; I should have expected this.
I could have protected my baby, instead I let my emotions get in the way, I let this happen to him. I hurt him; these bruises may well have been caused by me.
I paced around the living room downstairs, my body trembling with dread. This must happen, and even if I'm not strong enough, I must do it.
"Babygirl, when did you wake up?" Xavier walked down the stairs, and approached me, but I backed up from him.
"Take a seat, Xavier. W-we need to talk."
"You're scaring me, love. Is everything okay?" He asked, his hands reaching out to me, but I moved away again, and his face fell as he sat down, expecting something terrible.
He doesn't know what's coming is beyond terrible.
"There's something I've been meaning to tell you. It's a decision I've made," I started, and he raised his eyebrow.
Just say it. Valentina, just say it.
"I want to break up with you," I said, and my body was instantly against the wall, Xavier's hands pinning me, gently but tightly.
"Babygirl, I don't like these kinds of jokes. Do you understand?" He said, his voice low and dangerous, his eyes burning with an emotion I couldn't make out.
"I-I'm serious. It isn't a joke," I whispered, and his grip tightened.
"Valentina. Stop. Right fucking now," Xavier growled lowly, his eyes boring into mine.
This won't work. I need to make it convincing.
I close my eyes briefly, and when I open them, the empty look unsettles Xavier for a moment.
"Get away from me," I state, and he immediately lets me go, stepping back, disbelief lining his features.
"It's over between us, Xavier," I boldly claimed, my heart crying in agony when I saw his heart break at my statement, his eyes reflecting a deep pain.
"Babygirl, what happened, sweetheart?" He asked softly, his eyes pleading me to let him touch me.
"I-I just can't do this anymore," I said, my head held high when my body felt like it would break down.
"Let me hold you in my arms, love. I'll fix anything that's wrong, baby," Xavier's voice pleaded me, his body wanting to move towards me, but since I told him to get away, his mind wasn't allowing him.
"No. I want to be away from you. Away from all this. I don't want to be with you. Xavier, I-I don't love you," I stated, looking straight into his eyes, and then watching them immediately turn dark and empty.
"Valentina. You love me, I know you do. I've seen it, i-in your eyes," he seemed confused and hurt, talking to himself more than me.
"I-I have feelings for someone else," I stated, and his head shot up, eyes pitch black as he exhaled deep breaths.
"Don't fucking lie to me. Tell me what's wrong," he growled deeply, and I tried to stop my body from trembling.
"I already told you. I like someone else," I said, and he pinned me again, this time it was rough, as his fingers dug into my wrists.
"I won't ask again. Tell me the fucking truth."
"I. Don't. Love. You. Anymore," I emphasized on each word, my mind wanting to tear myself away from him, not being able to tolerate his eyes becoming dull after every word.
For what seemed like eternity, we both stayed quiet, the silence making me go insane, every part of my body wanting to cry out, to tell him to fix everything, but I couldn't.
No matter how much it hurts, I have to protect Xavier.
"Then leave." His voice cut through the silence like a knife and stabbed its way right into my heart, as he stepped back.
"Fucking leave, Valentina," he stated coldly, his eyes devoid of emotion, his expression detached.
My body somehow managed to move and I grabbed my bag, holding my hands in front so Xavier can't see me trembling.
"If you leave," he said, and I stopped, my back to him.
"Valentina, if you leave, I'll never let you come back," Xavier said, his voice deep with hurt and a pain I've come to understand now that my heart is shattered as well.
"Good. It's for the best," I stated, and walked out the door of his house, closing it behind me.
After that, I began running, away from the door behind which the man I loved stood with pieces of his heart.
A heart that he gave to me for safe keeping, a heart that I destroyed.
The rain outside drenched me, my tears freely making its way down my face, and my feet hitting the ground as I kept running. The rain stopped after a while, and I stood up straight, my chest constricting with pain like I've never felt before. I took out my phone and placed the call.
"I-I need you. Please, I need you," I said, and collapsed onto the ground, crying as he kept asking me where I was.