Happy Friday! The boys will be in Singapore soon and it's getting closer to my Summer U.S. concert date! Here's chapter 12, as promised.
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“Welcome home.”
Harry was speechless, any hope that he would get off without Louis noticing having dissipated moments before. He stared into the emotionless eyes of the petite boy.
“Well?” said Louis, his voice laced with venom though his face betrayed no emotion. “Are you going to say anything or are you just going to stand there with a vacant expression on your face?”
“I – I –”
“You what?” hissed Louis, his grip on Harry’s wrist painfully tight. “You thought it’d be clever to knock me out and then go on a little adventure? Is that it?”
“N-No, I just needed some fresh air…”
“For five hours?”
Harry could feel his wrist throbbing from how tight Louis was holding it. It was as if Louis was his anchor, acting as his moor to the kitchen linoleum.
“I lost track of time. I’m sorry Lou…”
“Don’t,” said Louis, dropping Harry’s wrist suddenly. His eyes flashed with betrayal and anger. “I trusted you, Harry. I trusted that you wouldn’t leave me and you went and did exactly that!”
“I didn’t leave you! I came back! I said that I would always come back!”
“No, you said that you would never leave. There’s a difference!”
Harry exhaled, pinching the bridge of his nose for patience. Louis continued though.
“Do you know how that looked?” he snarled. “I woke up expecting to see my – you next to me and nothing. Just empty sheets. I figured you must’ve gone to shower. Nothing. I trusted you when you said you would follow my rules and not go anywhere without me and especially not leave the grounds. I thought the worst and I was proven right. I can’t trust you. Hell, I can hardly look at you.”
While those words pierced through Harry, they also sparked the anger he needed to retaliate. He slammed his hand down on the kitchen table, stunning Louis into silence.
“I needed an escape dammit,” he snapped. “Not a permanent one, but some solitude. For goodness sake, you haven’t left my side in over a month. I haven’t been out of this house in nearly a year. Do you know what that does to a person’s head?”
Louis opened his mouth to respond but Harry successfully cut him off.
“No, you don’t. You only think about you and your selfish needs. You don’t care about me, Louis. All I am is someone to keep you company when you’re lonely and someone to get you off when you’re horny.”
Louis’ eyes flashed and he swung back, ready to make contact with Harry’s face. Harry froze, waiting for the impact when instead Louis changed course and made contact with the wall. There was a sickening crunch as the wall indented and Louis’ hand made impact.
Louis gritted his teeth and took a deep breath, only registering what he had done when he suddenly heard a whimper. He turned and found Harry under the table, his knees brought up to his forehead and his face hiding from Louis. Suddenly, all the anger that the betrayed boy felt disappeared and was replaced by a wave of nausea and repulsion with himself. How could he do this to Harry again?
He crouched down next to him, reaching out to hold the boy, but Harry squirmed back in fear. Louis’ eyes filled with tears of pain, both from his hand and his broken heart.
“I won’t hurt you, Haz. I promised that I’d never hurt you.”
“You almost did,” sniffled Harry.
“I know. And that’s unforgivable.”
“You hurt yourself, Lou.”
Louis looked at his bruised and bloodied knuckles solemnly.
“I can live with that. You; however, I could never live with hurting. Come here.” He opened his arms, waiting patiently and eventually he felt Harry occupying the space between them again. He felt the emptiness that he had felt all day when he thought Harry had left him fill up again and he sighed into the younger boy’s hair. He kissed Harry’s temple.
“I’m sorry for losing my temper,” Louis murmured into Harry’s hair. “I should’ve known that you would keep your promise and never truly leave me. I’m sorry.”
Harry shook his head, burying his face deeper into the crook of Louis’ neck. He felt bad for soaking Louis’ neck and shirt but as the other boy made no move to remove him, Harry figured that it was okay.
“I – I’m sorry,” sobbed Harry. “I just felt so trapped. I love being with you, Lou but I felt so suffocated and the alternative… I…”
“Shhh,” whispered Louis, stroking Harry’s hair. “I know Haz, I know. We’ll work this out together. I went about this all the wrong way.”
“I shouldn’t have drugged you.” Louis frowned.
“No, you shouldn’t have. But on the bright side, I haven’t slept so well in ages.” Harry did not laugh. “Too soon, eh? I suppose so.” Louis stood up, extending a hand so that Harry could do the same. “Bed?”
“Sounds lovely,” said Harry quietly, taking Louis’ hand. He marveled at how well it fit in his own. It was as though Louis’ hand was made just for him.
A little while later when both boys were lying in bed, Louis entwined their fingers and turned to face the curly-haired lad. Harry raised a skeptical eyebrow.
“You have to promise me something, Harry.”
Harry was taken aback by the use of his real name.
“I already promised I’d never leave you…”
“No, not that,” sighed Louis. “Promise me… please, Harry, promise me that if I ever hurt you or make you feel unsafe in any way that you’ll leave. Please, Haz. Promise me that.”
“Lou…”
“No!” cried Louis, tightening his grip on Harry’s hand, though not painfully. “You have to promise me, love. If I can’t keep you safe and happy then I don’t deserve you. Please…”
“Okay,” murmured Harry. “I promise.”
Louis raised their entwined hands and kissed Harry’s knuckles.
“I am truly glad that you came back Haz,” Louis said eventually.
“There’s no place I’d rather be, Lou.”
Though no words were spoken after those by Harry, both boys stayed awake for some time longer contemplating them, for they both knew that they were not entirely true.
***
There was a significant shift in Harry and Louis’ relationship following the event of Harry’s escape and return. For starters, Harry was given more freedom and allowed outside of the house more often than before. Also, whenever he felt trapped inside his own head he would go straight to Louis and the two of them would talk it out to avoid confrontations like that night in the kitchen.
Louis also worked to try and get his temper in check. After that night, Harry was initially withdrawn from Louis and it took time for the older boy to regain Harry’s trust. He did it in small ways like always being there to talk when Harry needed it or being there to hold him when he had a nightmare of harming himself again. One particular night was the turning point in their relationship.
-Nightmare Flashback-
Harry was making himself a sandwich when he heard it. He heard his mum’s angry voice on the telly. Slowly, he walked to Louis’ room to see that the telly was on and it was the same station that he had seen her on previously. Only this time she was not crying… she was incensed.
“We’re finished looking for you, Harry Edward Styles,” his mother yelled at him through the television. “We looked high and low for you but clearly you’ve given up on your friends and family. You’re a selfish boy and no son of mine!”
“No… mum… please,” begged Harry even though she could not hear him.
“I hope you never come home,” she sneered. “I hope you never show your face in Holmes Chapel again because we have moved on. You hear me? We’re done searching for you!”
“Mum, please,” sobbed Harry. “It’s not my fault, I miss you! Don’t do this… I love you…” He dug his nails into his palms, drawing blood but he did not care.
“You’re no son of mine… no son of mine… I hope you never wake up!”
Wait, what?
“Wake up!”
“No…”
“Haz, wake up! It’s a nightmare!”
“No…”
-End Nightmare-
“Haz, it’s me, darling,” whispered Louis. “Please sweetheart, wake up!”
Harry’s eyes opened gradually, his lids heavy from crying and from sleep. Without warning he launched himself into Louis’ arms and the other boy held him as Harry sobbed into his chest.
“She hates me, Lou. She h-hates me…”
“No one hates you, Haz. It’s not possible.”
“S-She does. My mum does. She s-said so…”
“It was just a nightmare, Haz. I promise, your mum could never hate you. Look at me.” Harry shook his head violently, his face still buried in Louis’ chest. “Hey, please look at me. I need to see your beautiful eyes.”
It took Harry several minutes but finally he met Louis’ crystal blue eyes with his own mossy green ones. Louis’ heart ached as he saw that they were not as bright as usual.
“Maybe it’s time for you to go home Harry,” he sighed, breaking eye contact but not without seeing Harry shake his head.
“No! No, don’t make me leave you!”
“I’d never make you do anything you don’t want to, Harry. But it’s clear you need your family and obviously your family needs you…”
“I couldn’t live without you, Lou. Like you said… it was just a dream, right?”
“Harry, we both know that on some level you’re not happy here,” said Louis sadly. “I don’t want you to resent me any more than you already do.”
“Hey,” said Harry sternly, fixing Louis with a glare. “I don't resent you for anything.”
“I took you away from your family…”
“I stayed,” insisted Harry. “I had my chance to leave and I didn't take it. I couldn’t take it. I miss them like hell Louis but no where near as much as I would miss you. You’ve got to believe me.”
“I do,” said Louis softly, tugging at Harry’s curls and smiling as the boy closed his eyes. “Don’t get horny on me now, Styles.”
“No promises, Tomlinson.”
-End Flashback-
Harry almost admitted to Louis that he loved him that day. The moment seemed right when he was trying to explain how he had his chance to leave but could not leave Louis. He loved the boy so much… so much that he had been trying to deny it for far too long. But there was no more denying it in his mind.
He was completely gone for Louis William Tomlinson.
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Just a heads up, things are going to be picking up. I'm looking to wrap up this story soon because I've got other story ideas and I am kind of losing interest in this since it's mostly fluff with no strong story line. Thank you to everyone who has been reading and voting on the chapters thought! Until next week xx.