I would consider this as another time I was consensually kidnapped.
"Get up, get Wanda and get your RV keys.." Sam said as I attempted to eat my breakfast.
"What? Why?!" I groaned, I mean this toast was good.
"Don't ask questions, just do it.."
I mean the first two steps were easy, all I had to do was stand up and track down my Wanda. The thrid step was a lot more difficult, you know, since the RV was sort of hidden from me.
I mean after bestie Jill returned it in mint condition, Tony snatched it into hiding. He gave me the keys just to mess with me, like that part was mean, you can look but you can't touch. But I got the key anyway.
"Do you have your emergency road trip bag packed, both of you?" Bucky asked while taking the keys off of me.
"Always, why?" Wanda questioned.
"Because were going on another state tour and this time, Sam and I are going! I'm making you go know so i'm included!" Bucky sorta yelled.
"Fair enough.."
Upon grabbing our road trip kits, we headed outside to see Loki and Sam, hanging out the window of the RV and waving us aboard.
"How the hell did you get the 'SS Thick Bitch' back?!" I laughed.
"Tony told us where it was beginning hidden, so I went and grabbed it for our trip.." Bucky smiled, taking our bags and loading them aboard.
One issue we had was the tracking device, but thanks to my full JARVIS access, we could find that mother fucker and step on it.
Then we set out, deciding on visiting our same old route from the infamous road trip that started it all.
I mean we know I love Chicago, we do it in the name of our queen ms Trina Vega. So Chicago was everything to everyone onboard. I mean it was all for the icon, the Chicago icon.
"Wait wait wait..." I said as I opened the RV cabinet while on the road, "TRAVEL SCRABBLE!"
Bestie Jill must of left it with us after she returned the RV. This was a great idea.
So maybe Scrabble wasn't a great idea, you know since 'prefixes' isn't a word in the Scrabble dictionary.
"ITS A FUCKING WORD!" Bucky screamed.
"THE SCRABBLE DICTIONARY SAYS NO!" Wanda yelled back.
Then in a fit of frustration, Bucky chucked the board out the window onto the open road. I guess we were done playing.
When we reached Iowa it was late. Loki said that they would take the wheel for a while, waking us up when we arrived. Although the bitch decided to go the wrong fucking way.
We were so tired that we all just passed out for hours, I mean I awoke to the yelling.
"YOU CROSSED A BOARDER!" Sam yelled.
"Well it was all in good fun.." Loki tried to explain.
In truth, that asshole had indeed crossed a boarder and left us in, drumroll please, Winnipeg. For all of you failing geography, like myself , we were in Canada.
"Wait, Canada?! How did you get four unconscious people out of the country?!" I said, barely even being able to wake up.
"Well, you packed your passports so I just showed them.." Loki shrugged.
"So, then I guess we're in Canada.." I said, giving up on even trying with them.
I mean, I don't know much about Canada. The people were chill, the food was good. I mean it was all good until I got a call.
"Y/N speaking.." I said, while eating my lunch.
"You wanna tell me if your on the run again?"
So bestie Tony is just a little bit pissed, but like let's look at the facts. I was taken by one father and on god and one bird. Then I was unconsciously driven to another country. So I didn't mind explaining it to Tony, because it simply wasn't my fault.
"So like, they stole me-"
"Who stole you?" He asked in sort of a frustrated tone.
"Dad, dads boyfriend and Loki.." I answered.
"Wandas not here, did they steal her too?" He asked now in a tone of humor.
"Yes, they stole my RV and then I went asleep and they drove me to fucking Canada-"
"YOUR IN CANADA?! THE PEOPLE THERE ARE TOO NICE FOR YOU, YOUR TOO MEAN!" He said, I could hear him stand up and leave the room, probably to inform Steve.
"That's what I believe. Like I don't even know what's going on.." I said, just being all innocent.
"So your gonna drive home, I don't need to worry, I'll see you soon?" He asked.
"No, I'm already out here and so I might as well take a vacation.." I smiled.
"From what? You don't do anything?!"
"I breath, have to not die and have to take care of my Wanda. I do the most.." I giggled.
"Well I-"
"Well I best be going now, bye bye father.."
I mean I had left the house, I might as well stay out. The only problem was that it was with C-3PO, a pigeon, a greasy bitch, my Wanda and well, Pink Panther if your looking to me.
I guess Canada could be cool, I'll just have to google where to go and what to do.
Upon discovery, Toronto was back in the direction of New York. That is not we're we want to be because then fathers and mother will come for me a lot faster. We decided that the end goal would be Montreal.
The party didn't stop, the entire drive across the country. One night, Wanda and I had partied so much that we passed out on our bed. Loki was the dedicated driver and once again, they made the wrong call.
It was when we woke up that I noticed something was wrong, you know when Loki was singing along to an empty RV.
That's how you know it's wrong, they were singing.
"Where's my dad, and his boyfriend?" I asked, sitting in the passengers seat.
"I don't know, they were really wasted and told me to go away so I did.." He shrugged, continuing to sing.
"Let us be clear, you left them in an unknown location, while wasted and didn't think twice?!" I yelled, waking Wanda up with my words.
"What's going on.." She muttered, walking out of the bedroom.
"This prick left Sam and Bucky in the bar we were snuck into last night!" I explained, "Sorry for waking you, dear.."
"It's okay love, I'm gonna get you your Cheerios and we can sit for a minute.." She said, leaving us to make breakfast.
"I mean come on Y/N, they were constantly making out. In the restaurant, car, bar. They just were going at it. They were just making me feel single.." Loki said, attempting to justify his actions.
"Well maybe if you showed up to the dates I got you then you wouldn't be so alone!" I tested, grabbing my phone to make some calls.
I did call both there phones, only getting voicemail and then some random guy, thus deducing they either had a threesome or lost there phones.
The real kicker was explaining to Steve where his rumored ex was.
"You need to turn that god damn RV around and come home!" He yelled down the phone.
"Steven, their Avengers, I'm sure they will be fine!" I argued.
"You lost two people, one of them being your father, you don't know your way around the country your in and you also can't drive!" He yelled.
"That is a stereotype! I'm in love with a women and can drive very well!" I yelled, not even defending the other claims.
"Come home!" He yelled.
"No!" I yelled back. See Rogers, I can raise my voice too.
Eventually I hung upon on his annoying ass, ate my Cheerios and decided on making a new plan for this trip. We were like half way to Montreal, deciding to just dip back into the United States by travelling through Montana.
Loki was banned from driving, because of his two dumb moves. So when we set out on the idea of travelling to Vegas, just Wanda and I were allowed to drive. Did I forget to mention my Wanda was insane on the road, sis barely passed her drivers test.
"Wanda, dear, I love you but I would also like to live to see the day I marry you!" I yelled, as she swerved violently through traffic.
"I'm driving fine, no need to worry.." She said, taking her eyes of the road, while continuing to dodge traffic like a mad women.
Eventually we made it to Nevada, we were very excited for this. Walking through the lit up streets and the food was just perfect.
We went dirt biking, partying, Loki took over the casinos. I mean I don't know how this man was so good at making this type of money.
Wanda and I even got a quiet night out, simply because Loki said that they had 'better things to do then watch us make out'.
"So, dear, what should we do?" I asked, eating my food.
"Loki's making us a lot of cash and since we have both been cut off, we could use it for fun. Like skydiving, that would be fun.." She smiled, eating some of her dinner.
"We can go skydiving, we can do it all.." I smiled back.
We did ask Loki if they wanted to come, but apparently it was too passive of an experience compared to everything they have done before. Apparently this isn't their first time falling out of the sky.
But we did have to travel all the way to California to do this, apparently the company in Vegas didn't want us to do jump from there planes for some reason.
So we took to the open road and headed to Los Angeles, I mean we love the beaches there and the life the people lived. The drive was always excellent, especially when Wanda told me a story about a time that we weren't together.
"Well you had headed to the beach, we had parked the RV on the sand and Pietro and I were watching you near the water.." She explained from the passengers seat, "I looked over to you, watching your hair flowing in the light breeze. He was talking about how gorgeous you looked, I was wondering how the hell you got so pretty and if Pietro would shut up so I could take your beauty in.." She giggled.
"I was never interested in your brother, the only Maximoff I was ever wanted was you.." I smiled to her.
"I would hope so, because I am very in love with you.." She laughed.
"Did you know that you once told me you loved the rain and I would check the forecast every in hope it would return. Only took sixteen day.." ai laughed back.
"Now that's simp like behavior-" She giggled.
"Oh shut it!" I laughed back.
We sent the RV up in a spot near the beach, somewhere quiet, but still with access to the world around us.
"Anyone want to go for a swim?" I asked as soon as we pulled up.
"Alright, we can swim if you want.." Loki said as if they was being forced to, they loved swimming.
We had stayed in California for over two weeks when I got the call, the call of the father.
"Hey father, how are you-"
"Greens your color, you know that right?" He responded.
"You know, when I first started my road trip expedition, I told you something similar when I hid from you in Texas.." I responded, beginning to look around.
"Oh really, well I guess I'm doing the exact same thing.." He said, then I could hear his actual voice behind me instead of over the phone.
"Hey pops.." I said, ending the phone call and turning around to him.
"You have got to stop doing this.." He said in an oddly calm tone.
"Your oddly calm.." I responded.
"Well, when we figured out that you would be here I flew everyone out for a break.." He said, turning around to see mother, other father and everyone else dragging their beach gear.
"Have you found Sam and Bucky yet?" I asked.
"No, but they will turn up eventually.."
It was an amazing beach day, which turned into a bit of a beach weekend with some people sleeping on the jet and others in the RV.
Afterwards, Tony allowed Wanda and I to drive across country in the RV by ourselves as a method to return home. It was only after three weeks did Sam and Bucky return to us.
And boy what happened when they returned.