(Gif made by gothnutella!! I love it so much TT)
Ch.17
You haven't been able to stop thinking about Hoseok. Naturally! How were you supposed to stop after all the confusing crap that's been happening? One moment he's rejecting you then telling you he loves you back? It was so frustrating that he refused to do anything about his feelings for you. Hoseok said he has his reasons, but he never bothered to delve deeper into them. You wanted to understand him, but how could you when he refuses to say a single thing? At this point, you were running out of ideas to get him to realize that dating you won't be the end of the world. Seokjin can't harm him and neither will Father. Not on your watch!
Since your ideas were running low, all you could do was think about Hoseok. He works today and you knew he wouldn't want you bothering him. Maybe you could meet up with him after? You'd definitely love that. You miss him so much that you feel like you're going crazy. Love was proving to be a stressful thing yet here you were. Staring at the Saint Laurent website on your phone as you chewed your bottom lip knowing that you would impulsively buy anything for Hoseok. Mainly because you knew that he would look super hot in any of their jackets. Your imagination never let you down! The problem was just figuring out which one and when to give it to him.
After he's done working sounds nice. Were you too needy? Possibly. There's a Saint Laurent store next to your precious Chanel store. Maybe you'll ask Mansu to drive you over there so you can find Hoseok the best jacket. Getting off your bed, you kept your eyes on your phone as you walked out of your room. By the time you were approaching the stairs, you bumped into a chest and felt your body tense up. There were only two people you could bump into and at this moment, you were hoping for life to take it easy on you. Luckily, it did.
"Pay attention where you're walking or you'll fall down the steps." Kyunghwan huffed at you. He wasn't wrong, but still he annoyed you for treating you like you were stupid.
"I know that!" You rolled your eyes. Kyunghwan scoffed as he looked you over suspiciously. He then quickly grabbed your phone from your hands to see what had you so distracted. Immediately, you began to reach for your phone and punch his chest. "Hey! Give that back!"
"Clothes. I'm not surprised." Kyunghwan gave you your phone back so you would stop hitting him. You were so close to pushing him down the stairs just for stealing your phone. The conversation between the both of you died shortly after. You had your phone back and he was done talking to you. There wasn't much else to say to one another and he was ready to walk away until you turned to face him.
"Wait!" You didn't know what you were doing. Kyunghwan paused, looking back over at you in surprise. The both of you didn't know what was happening at the moment. The two of you never talk to each other just for fun. It was strange though not the worst thing ever. Slowly, you walked up to Kyunghwan to show him your phone. "Which jacket looks better? This one or this one?" You waited for his response. Kyunghwan didn't really care about fashion, but you selected the two best ones. Maybe a guy's input would help you out. All he had to do was make the final decision which left him shifting on his feet uncomfortably.
"...the...the right one." Kyunghwan looked at you as if to check if he made the right choice. Smiling, you made sure to quickly purchase the jacket for pick up at the store. All that was left to do was get Mansu to drive you to the store and surprise Hoseok when he gets home because you miss him dearly! Though when you put your phone in your purse, you didn't expect Kyunghwan to still be standing in front of you.
"What?" You blinked at him.
"Is...is that jacket for me?" Kyunghwan asked curiously causing you to stifle a laugh. That instantly got Kyunghwan to frown at you.
"You can buy your own jacket." You teased, hearing Kyunghwan click his tongue and march off. He's such a baby! Giggling to yourself, you made your way towards the front of the mansion to wait for Mansu. You have a man you need to shower with love and affection!
*~*
What will it take for you to give up? Hoseok has been pondering this for a while and he can't come up with a single answer. The persistence you display isn't one that disappears just because he asks. He rejected you when you first confessed and he felt like bile was spilling out of him. It hurt a lot to see you crying because of him. Especially when it was all due to lies. He does love you. There's a reason why he stabbed himself when rejecting you like that. He wasn't supposed to slip up yet his true feelings ended up coming out anyway.
Thanks to Hoseok's big mouth, he confused you to no end. Telling you he didn't feel the same way and at the same time seeing you as the best girl in the world. That makes sense to literally no one. He screwed himself over again when he finally confessed to you that he felt the same. Hoseok obviously wasn't supposed to do that. It just came out! He couldn't help himself when holding you, hearing you say things like that and...he was extremely frustrated with himself. Everything at the thrift store was a complete disaster as well. Hoseok understood why you were upset, but then proceeded to enter a childish fight with you.
Hoseok groaned, laying on his back. He was still at home on his bed. After eating breakfast, he immediately came back up here to rethink his life. It just had to be you that he reconnects with after graduating high school. Not only that, the two of you just had to become close and he just had to fall for you. Lovely. Hoseok clearly wouldn't have it any other way though. Thinking about you was enough to put a smile on his face. Though he couldn't ignore all the stress that came with loving you. He wasn't so sure he wanted to become a problem in the eyes of wealthy and powerful men who could destroy everything he's ever worked for in seconds.
Was that a valid reason? Surely. You did promise Hoseok that you would protect him, but Hoseok wasn't sure it was worth the risk as sh*tty as that sounded of him. It's not like he cared about your fiancé's pride or feelings. He just didn't want to add more problems than necessary. A sigh left Hoseok this time around. He had his arms over his eyes even though the blinds in his room were closed. He was already left in dim lighting so what more was he trying to hide from? Maybe the thought of you wearing that green dress at the thrift store. He sucked in his breath, hoping nothing would stir awake.
"Hoseok! Your phone is done charging in the bathroom." His mother knocked on his bedroom door. He didn't respond, mind still stuck on how attractive he found you. He remembered you so strongly in that outfit that he could practically picture you inside his bedroom. Oh, but if you were in his bedroom looking like that...Hoseok bit his lip, knowing his mind wasn't wandering to the cleanest place. "Hoseok! Your phone keeps getting text messages from (F/n)." She opened the room, watching her son jump up with a flushed face.
"Eomma!" Hoseok was just glad he wasn't showing any signs of excitement.
"What? You would have locked the door if it was important." She scoffed. Her bluntness never failed to frustrate and embarrass her son. Hoseok couldn't even think of anything to say back to her. "Here's your phone." Mom tossed it onto Hoseok's bed. He quickly grabbed it, staring down at his phone without turning the screen on. "Didn't know she was your girlfriend already."
"Huh?" Hoseok's eyes widened. They could have fallen out of his face which only had his mom laughing harder. Did she look through his texts? Honestly, he wouldn't be surprised. Hoseok nervously checked his messages with you to see you were spamming him. Lots of pictures of him with heart edits were being sent, a ton of 'I love you' messages and even you sending him a photo of what your baby with him would look like from some app. A sigh left Hoseok, completely baffled on why you were so into him. How was some like you into him? It didn't make sense in the slightest and he was worried. "Ah, she's not my girlfriend. (F/n)'s just my best friend is all."
"Best friend?" Mom leaned against the door frame. She was getting comfortable causing Hoseok to sweat. He already knew he wasn't going to win. Just how much did she pry? "She was calling you her boyfriend a lot in those texts. Also, did you see that baby picture? I sure as hell want that to happen!"
"Eomma, no. You're getting too ahead of yourself." Hoseok kept scrolling through the flood of texts you sent him. It was as if you were looking for new ways to confess your love to him. He had no response as his heart began to ache. "D*mn it, (F/n)..."
"You two are closer than you've let on. She is madly in love with you and you...you feel the same," Mom concluded. Hoseok felt tempted to roll his eyes although his mom wasn't wrong. "The two of you have already gone a date," She said, ignoring the look her son gave her. "I know she's got a fiancé now though it might not go anywhere."
"Even though they don't like each other, they're still going to marry," Hoseok grumbled. He got up from his bed to peel off his shirt. He needed to get dressed for work anyway. Hopefully you don't surprise him again. While he appreciated your visit, these days are harder for him. You're constantly flirting with him and he's weak. Especially if you wear a body hugging green dress.
"I will help destroy the engagement, Hoseok. Just say the word."
"Don't be ridiculous, Eomma!" Hoseok looked back at her with a smile. He laughed as he noticed her smiling back at him.
"The offer stands, Sweetie." Mom winked. "Have a good day at work too. I left your lunch for you in the fridge."
His mom is the best. Hoseok loved her as crazy and overwhelming as she can be. Sometimes he wondered how his calm dad ended up with her. Then again, they make sense when they're together. Hoseok couldn't exactly explain it, but they just worked. Maybe the same applies to him and you. There were just so many problems and obstacles when it came to the both of you. It was angering and the most frustrating thing ever. It was so tempting for Hoseok to want to throw caution to the wind and just kiss you. He wanted to kiss you so badly.
But that was off the table. As tempting as your lips were in Hoseok's eyes, he knew he wanted to make his first kiss with you special. Not that there will be a kiss! He's not going to date you so there would be no kissing! It's just...if the two of you were to date then...he would take it very seriously. That's all he's going to say about that. Hoseok didn't want to let his mind linger on you and that green dress any longer for the sake of his own sanity. He threw on his thrift store uniform, ignoring how tired he felt from constantly working and doing college at the same time. He must make it look easy.
Hoseok has never complained about it though. Sometimes it was tempting to vent about his aches and stress though he had to admit he still got it easy. The thrift store wasn't busy so he could often get away with doing assignments at work. If the thrift store was busier then he probably would be having a harder time. He spends a lot of hours working to earn money that still wouldn't be enough to save him from crippling debt. Aside from winning a few scholarships to take off some debt from FIT, Hoseok knew it wouldn't clear him from how expensive this school could be.
He needed to save money for college, help his mother pay bills, help keep the tailoring shop going, and try to save up for a car. Although the car was currently low on the list. He could drive but couldn't afford a car. Hoseok has seen the prices of used cars and while they were cheaper, he knew that would put a major dent in his savings. Then there was the issue of paying gas and maintaining the car. Then Hoseok couldn't forget that his home has no garage for parking a car and his neighborhood had a bad problem with cars getting broken into. Lucky him.
These types of thoughts were doing him no good right now. It was just hard to ignore them. Everything was money. It was maddening to him all the time and you were the breather he got. Even though you were rich and didn't understand his problems, he could get his mind off of his struggles when he was with you. The problem right now was that he didn't want to think about money or you. He needed some sort of mercy and he hoped it would come at work. Unfortunately, he put too much faith in the thrift store. He should have known better.
"Then they made up, but Hoseok told her he still isn't her boyfriend," Eunhyuk informed Yesung and Donghae.
This was the last thing Hoseok needed yet he didn't bother stopping his hyung from sharing all of yesterday's events. Yesung was holding an old bear in his hands, playing with its arms mindlessly. He wasn't paying too much attention to what his hands were doing. Meanwhile Donghae was listening attentively but glancing over at the bear multiple times during the story telling. Hoseok figured it was because the bear was missing a button eye. A lot of the toys here were like that. Stuffing coming out, missing an eye, or stains that just couldn't come out. Hoseok has seen lipstick stains to yogurt stains. They were playable like any other toy, but they just didn't look as nice. What a shame.
"What? But you said Hoseok already confessed his feelings for her!" Donghae frowned.
The story wasn't adding up and Yesung had to agree. They had their brows knitted together, waiting for Eunhyuk to clear up their confusion rather than looking over at Hoseok. He was right here! Standing behind the counter, listening to Eunhyuk talk about his life out of boredom. Were they really going to pretend Hoseok wasn't in the thrift store with them? Hoseok loved his hyungs though sometimes he wanted to tackle them all to the ground. He was the youngest of them though. Yesung was the eldest at twenty-seven while Eunhyuk and Donghae were the same age, just a year younger than Yesung. Hoseok never thought he would be the maknae of his friends yet here he was.
"He did! Hoseok didn't mean to, but he slipped up and told (F/n) that he loved her. He ran off right after though. Super cold of him." Eunhyuk shook his head with his hands on his hips.
"Yeah, you said that! It's just...if he's in love with her then why not date her?" Donghae questioned.
"Hey idiot, didn't you hear? Eunhyuk said (F/n) has a fiancé. Hoseok obviously doesn't want to be the other man. He has self-respect for himself." Yesung sighed heavily. "Besides, he'll only give himself more problems if he gets romantically involved with a taken woman."
"No kidding, Doofus. Except her fiancé doesn't love her and she doesn't love him! It's an arranged loveless marriage. Her fiancé couldn't care less if she pursued another man." Donghae reasoned aggressively. Eunhyuk was nodding as he listened to his two friends discuss the situation, still acting completely unaware of Hoseok's presence.
Did Hoseok want to interrupt? He wasn't quite sure and he was having trouble making up his mind. A part of him wanted to get in the middle of the conversation to shut it all down. Another part of him figured it would take too much effort to get them all to shut up. They all seemed so invested like this was some kind of famous drama. At this point Hoseok was wondering if they actually didn't realize he was here. Donghae and Yesung have had their eyes stuck on Eunhyuk who was a surprisingly excellent storyteller. Even Hoseok had to admit he was gripped despite that being his life and knowing what exactly happened himself.
"That may be true, but Hoseok is a man of morals. He still can't bring himself to even though he totally should!" Eunhyuk threw his arms in the air. "Seriously, do you guys know how annoying it is to see those two staring at one another with googly eyes? They've got it bad for each other! It's so sweet that it's sickening."
"I think it's sweet though that Hoseokie has found love. Good for him. He really deserves to fall in love and be loved." Donghae smiled, getting Hoseok to feel all soft inside. Did his hyung really have to be so kind?
"Which is exactly why Hoseok should just date her already!" Eunhyuk groaned.
"Hoseok is just blue balling himself." Yesung sighed.
Hoseok's soft smile disappeared immediately as his eye twitched. Blue balling himself? He pursed his lips, tempted to defend himself and yell at Yesung. Then again his thoughts this morning were not looking good. It wasn't exactly in his favor if he wanted to convince them his balls were doing just fine. That d*mn green dress. Hoseok wanted to slap himself in order to get the image of you out of his head for his own sanity all over again. Instead, Hoseok slammed his forehead into the counter in front of him. Was that a mistake? Yes. All of Hoseok's hyungs turned to stare at him in shock, watching the younger boy stumble back and fall onto the floor.
"H-Hoseok! Buddy!" Eunhyuk ran over with Donghae and Yesung right behind him. Hoseok had crumbled to the ground, both of his hands gripping the front of his face. That was painful. He couldn't stand the splitting head ache he felt. He was almost curled up into a ball when the three came up to him. Eunhyuk grabbed one arm of Hoseok's, glancing at the others to help.
"What was that for?" Donghae went over to Hoseok's side, wrapping one arm around his neck to get Hoseok to stand up. The two men dragged Hoseok over to the pink ottoman. Yesung had run off to the backroom, eventually coming back with an ice pack to hand over.
"Agh, thanks." Hoseok hissed. Taking the cold bag in his hands, he lightly pressed it against his forehead and sighed.
"You didn't answer Donghae." Eunhyuk mentioned.
"You guys were literally talking about my love life," Hoseok retorted.
"Did you hit yourself to make us shut up?" Yesung questioned.
"Would it be too extreme to say yes?" Hoseok lifted the ice pack slightly to meet all their eyes.
Of course, he was lying. He hurt himself for thinking inappropriately though honestly, he wasn't supposed to do it so hard. All three of his hyungs had their arms crossed as they stared at him silently. They weren't so sure if they could buy it. Hoseok is a pretty reasonable thinker. There weren't many times for him to act out like this. Hoseok was a free spirit, but he often held back trying to take care of everything and figure things out himself. Trying to plan his future at a young age, constantly working to save money, and making sure he didn't make a single wrong move. Then when little things got out of his control and small slip ups occurred...he got overwhelmed fast. Enough to make him reckless.
"Very extreme." Donghae nodded, walking over to sit next to Hoseok. "But is what Eunhyuk said all true?"
"Yeah, all of it is true." Hoseok scoffed as he sent a weak glare to Eunhyuk. He pressed the ice pack against his face with more pressure, hating how embarrassed he felt under Eunhyuk's silent gaze. He was trying to be mad! "...look, I'm not dating (F/n) for a reason. It's not just because she has a fiancé by the way. There's more to it."
"But what is that? And doesn't (F/n) deserve to know? It might make her back off if that's really what you want." Yesung pointed out as a sigh left Hoseok. He feared hearing that. Lowering the ice from his face, Hoseok stared down at the ground with a deep frown.
"She wouldn't understand," Hoseok said causing Yesung and Donghae to furrow their brows. Eunhyuk only pursed his lips, examining Hoseok closely. The other two were ready to question how Hoseok would know that without bringing it up to you though Eunhyuk could make a guess or two why.
"It's your insecurity talking again, isn't it?" Eunhyuk asked. As soon as he said that, Yesung and Donghae stared at him with wide eyes before looking back over at Hoseok.
"Nothing goes past you, huh?" Hoseok scoffed.
"Well, I'm not the smartest." Eunhyuk shrugged. Any other time, the boys would have jumped onto this to tease Eunhyuk. They remained silent out of respect for Hoseok. "Hoseok, you can talk to us. We're listening."
"...she deserves better though, don't you think?" Hoseok's voice was low as a whisper. "And I don't wanna hear you guys tell me I'm amazing or whatever. None of that matters in the long run. In the end, I can't give her what she needs. If I date her then her family will do everything to get me out of the picture. Can I really blame them? A poor guy like me has nothing to offer to their family or their daughter." Hoseok brought the ice pack back up to his face.
"(F/n) isn't interested in you for your money though. She also knows you aren't after her money either." Yesung stared down at Hoseok curiously. "What's really holding you back?"
"But that's just it, Hyung." Hoseok's tone was exhausted. "(F/n) knows that money isn't a thought in our relationship. She doesn't think twice about money, but me...we're so different when it comes to that. Everyone is going to think I'm after her money. Especially her family and it doesn't help that her family is also in the public eye. Everyone is going to see us together and wonder what the hell she's doing. They're going to think I'm a gold digger."
"Maybe the public won't care—"
"But they will! They ate up her engagement and if they hear about me—goodbye privacy! They're going to look into me and start forming opinions. They're going to try and figure out why she would ever date me. I'm poor, guys. Her fiancé is rich and seen as one of the most attractive guys in the entire world! I'm such a f*cking downgrade even if he's a total piece of sh*t." Hoseok tightened his grip on the ice pack, not caring that his skin was numb and his head was aching from the cold. "(F/n) deserves someone better than me. Someone who won't be too wrapped up in their own insecurities to give her what she deserves!"
"Hoseok...your feelings, they're all real. Though you can't let your insecurities win like that. They're cheating you out of love and experiences that you deserve too." Eunhyuk stretched his hand out to take away the ice pack from Hoseok.
"We get it, Hoseok. Suddenly putting yourself in the public eye and not having control over how they see you...that's bound to be rough. (F/n)'s got years of experience for it, but you'd be thrown to the wolves the second they find out." Donghae patted Hoseok's back, getting a glare from Yesung.
"What Donghae is trying to say is...Hoseok, don't compare yourself to her fiancé. That's a total waste of time when we all know she couldn't care less about him. He doesn't matter in this. What the public says about you, I know would be hard to ignore," Yesung started. "But it can be possible to have (F/n) end her engagement publicly without you even getting mentioned. You can be a complete secret."
"That's true!" Donghae nodded enthusiastically. He continued to rub Hoseok's back, hoping that comforted the younger just a little. "You shouldn't overthink it too much. You always overthink and analyze your every move, Hoseok. Why not follow your heart this one time?"
"My heart? You really think I get to be that selfish on something like this?" Hoseok glanced at Donghae by his side.
"Be selfish," Eunhyuk told him. "Everyone's gotta be selfish every once in a while. And if your selfish act is telling the girl who loves you that you love her back then you're living too generously."
Perhaps he was right. Hoseok never really made any huge selfish risks. Then with this one chance he really wanted to take, all it was...was dating you. There were a lot of problems with it every time Hoseok thought about it. Your Father taking you out of FIT, your fiancé hurrying the wedding date, or Hoseok suddenly losing contact with you out of nowhere. He couldn't stop himself from thinking negatively though when he really thought about it, a majority of them were out of his control. Only a few worries about you not being happy in the relationship or with him. But even those few worries sound ridiculous and he hated how it still bothered him slightly.
But you were the girl who proudly confessed your love to him first. With your heart on your sleeve, you asked him on a date. You're the girl who is constantly flooding every Instagram post of his with less than appropriate emojis and language. Seriously, he's flushing every time your flirt with him so boldly, but he can't deny that he loves it every time. He adores that you naturally crave affection and that you're so touchy with him. You fit perfectly in his arms and he can't help but love you more every time the two of you cuddle. You're the girl who gets so happy by his presence and is just happy to be around him. You're the one walking with him to class, helping him with classwork, and taking care of him as best as you can. You're the one who made him a shirt just because you wanted to be friends with him.
You're the girl who had been waiting a year to apologize to him for an incident that wasn't even your fault.
Hoseok knew what he needed to do. There was no use in denying it any longer when it was only killing him and you. Saying no to you every time tortured him and he could see the hurt in your eyes. There would be no more of that. Hoseok was losing his patience as soon as he decided to be selfish. He finished his shift at the thrift store, thanking all his hyungs who were staying until closing. Hoseok got to leave three hours early to head home. He got on the bus that would take him home and was running once he was dropped off. He wasn't sure what to do. Should he call you or text you? Should it wait for tomorrow?
It didn't look like it could wait any longer. Not just because Hoseok had no patience. He slowed down, stopping in front of his home to see you standing outside of the BMW. Were you waiting for him? Hoseok was panting after the short run, blinking to himself in disbelief. Was it actually you standing there? No one else here could afford that car or the clothes that you were wearing. You turned to face him, smiling and waving your hand excitedly. It was an unannounced visit that you couldn't help. Hoseok has been working all day so it was only natural that you missed him.
"Are you just gonna stand there?" You called out to him. Your voice seemed to snap him out of whatever trance he was in. Hoseok shook his head, jogging the rest of the way over to you.
"What are you doing here?" Hoseok tilted his head with a smile on his face. "I was just gonna call you."
"I was missing you." You opened your arms up to him, happily embracing Hoseok as always. A habit you never wanted to get rid of. "What were you going to call me for?" You stared up at him, eyes sparkling. "To tell me you missed me too? That you love me?"
"Yeah." Hoseok chuckled, watching as your face became surprised. "I've been missing you this whole day, (F/n). I also wanted to tell you that I meant it when I said I love you and I'm sorry for all the confusing back and forth. It wasn't right of me not to give you any answers. Honestly...I thought I would have more time to think my words through." Hoseok grinned as your remained stunned.
"Hoseok..."
"Would you still wanna go out with me? On a date?" Hoseok raised a hopeful brow at you. Immediately he wished he covered his ears as you began to squeal loudly. Your reaction was very happy, he could tell that much. You were bouncing all over the place with a huge smile on your face.
"Hoseok!! Of course! Why would I ever say no to the most handsome man in the world!? I'm not stupid!" You shook the man back and forth. Hoseok was feeling dizzy with the affectionate abuse. "I can't believe it! We're going on a date! An actual date! Oh my god, where should the date take place? Ohmygodohmygod!!!" You had practically announced your date with Hoseok to the whole neighborhood. He didn't mind your volume though, laughing as you opened the car door. "Actually, I missed you and I also bought you a gift. That's why I came...but I guess now this could be my first gift to you as your girlfriend."
"My girlfriend. I like the sound of that." Hoseok winked playfully at you, amused to see you get so shy and excited from him. While his insecurities reminded him of what he hated about himself, you always acted like his biggest cheerleader. Forgetting the incident from a year ago, you've never fueled any of Hoseok's insecurities yourself. It was always just himself. Though now he was hoping of letting it go and it started with your help as you held out a bag towards him. "What'd you get me?" Hoseok took it in his hands, opening it up to see an expensive jacket. And not just any expensive jacket. "Is this...from Saint Laurent?"
"Oh, look at you! You got a sharp eye, Hoseokie!" You clasped your hands together. "Yep! It's a real Saint Laurent jacket. Don't ask for the price and just enjoy it."
"I've seen the price before and h-holy..." Hoseok felt lightheaded. He's never held this much money in his hands before.
"Breathe! Breathe!" You chirped encouragingly from the side. Dating you was certainly going to be an experience for him.