Vee Vivis
The drive going to the university on a Monday morning has always been a drag. The traffic congestion in the busy city of Bangkok not only causes delay on peoples' lives and fuel wastage. It also causes a negative impact on a person's mind that was brought about by the constant blowing of horns from the impatient city dwellers thus causing an annoying noise pollution. It only added friction to my already distorted mind.
It has been four days since that last meeting with Mark. I've never heard from him since then. He did not show up in any activities of the Uni fair organized for the freshies. He even ditched the Star and Moon contest making the 1st runner up moon of last year did the turn over for him. The Faculty of Medicine took home the crown again as the university moon while the Star came from the faculty of Fine Arts.
As for me, those four longs days without that person felt so irrelevant. It's like experiencing glitches like in the matrix all through out the day. One minute I was brushing my teeth and looking at my miserable face in the bathroom mirror, then the next thing I know, I was already eating lunch in the cafeteria surrounded by my chaotic friends. What happened in between those conscious state were a blur to me.
It started that day when Mark and I got separated. I was left standing in the rain watching as Mark was drove away from me by his friends. Half of me wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and run after them. Another half though was all guilt stricken and paralyzed as I question myself if I really deserve to run after him or not. One thing that I was sure about was my heart breaking when Mark turned his back from me. I wasn't able to find out how I get back to my own room after that.
Another thing that troubled me were the words that Jane said to me when Mark and their other friends were not listening.
*
"When you're still too stupid to question who among those two brothers you really fell in love to P, you better find out first about the history of Mark's scar at the back of his head. Or if you can't do that, then just settle to finding out where his home is."
What does Mark's scar at the back of his head has anything to do with finding out who among the twins I fell in love to? It doesn't make sense to me at all. Besides, I already know that it was Mark. The unexplainable curiosity and attraction I felt for that cold person that day after I broke up with the him that pretends to be his brother were only a few things that made it all clearer. It has always been Mark. But my hatred for him because of the betrayal clouded my reasons.
How would I be able to bring him back after all that I have done to him? Do I even have the right to wish for him to come back? Do I even deserve that person who sets aside that repulsive act I did to him just to do everything to meet me and explain his side? How can I be ok with myself after knowing I have emotionally and physically destroyed someone I love?
"Vee! Ai Vee! Stop playing with your food! Vee!" I was startled by Phailin's voice that I raised my head to her direction. I was now sitting on the cafeteria having breakfast with my friends. This glitches again. Was I stuck in the traffic jam just now? Why am I here already?
"Man you are spacing out again." Luke said beside me touching my shoulder.
"Uh..yeah?" I said stupidly.
"How bad is it this time huh? Did you break up with that doctor again? It's the second time after that nong came back from his vacation. What's going on between you two ai Vee?" Phailin looked all worried. Nothing that concerns about that kid and I escapes from Phailin's radar. She always has something to say about it for being the number one supporter of us two.
"Hmm? Nothing much." I'm still not comfortable talking about it.
"Damn Vee! Always this secretive! Then better hurry up and make up with nong Masa! I hate being around you when you are all like this." She sighed out of frustration but asked no more further. I am glad that she understands if I don't wanna talk though I wanted to tell her that I doubted about the making up part.
"Love is sweeter the second time around was it Vee? You broke up before then came back more happier with the relationship. But I haven't heard about the third. Will it be too much?" Kit the Philosopher said. I always listen to him more than I did to the others. It's because Kit can always tell what I am feeling without me moving my lips. He can also assess the situation and shamelessly talk about it in my face.
"I honestly don't know. Maybe it's over for good this time." I weakly answered him. The others momentarily stopped what they were doing to looked at me.
"Is it that bad?" Rune asked.
"..." I just nodded silently.
"Damn." Luke cursed rubbing my back for comfort.
"Shiya! Is it? No." Phailin whined.
"I know the reason behind the fight is way more deeper than issues of jealousy. We understand that it's too personal for you to tell us Vee. But it's not because you two stopped loving each other right? If there is still love in both sides, then there's still hope Vee." Kit gave me a small smile after saying this.
"Are you dating someone Kit? Why do you sound like a love guro all of a sudden?" Rune was smirking when he asked Kit. The latter only smiled more broadly and continue to eat his food.
"Kit the Philosopher indeed." Luke was nodding his head while looking at Kit.
"I'm just mindful of the things that's happening around me. I'm not stupid like you guys." I was able to smile a little with Kit's note. Yes, I'm one of the stupidest among us.
"Hey you guys eat breakfast without me! Vee!" We all looked at the new comer who immediately make her way to insert herself between Luke and me. Nin frowned at me after she had put her food infront of her.
"What?"
"To what extent did you and nong Masa fight?"
"Why are you asking me all of a sudden? Did you come here not to eat?" I shove her face away because she has been unconsciously leaning closer.
"Seriously Vee? What did you do to make him resign from the band and from the Music Club as a whole?"
"What? He did that?" My attention was immediately caught by Nin's words. The news that has something to do with Mark made me all giddy.
"Yes. He handed a resignation letter to P Puth, the club president, this morning. It was the news that greeted me upon entering the club room early yoday." Nin started poking on her food while looking so down and disappointed. So Mark is in the university right now? He finally showed up again after being absent for almost a week. But the news about him resigning from the music club bothers me.
"Uhmm. Do you know his reasons for his resignation Nin?" I tried to asked without sounding so eager to hear the reason myself.
"Aw! Was it you who supposed to tell me that? I asked you first right?"
"Well...I...we, uhmm." I stuttered as I can't bring to say the word break up.
"They somehow broke up Nin. Again." Rune told her making her dropped her spoon clanking into the ground.
"What? Again? Is it true Vee?"
"Yeah" I answered without making eye contact. Even admitting it hurts me from the inside.
"Well damn!"
"So what happened Nin? Did your club president accepted his resignation letter." It was Kit who asked for me. He knows I'm dying to know more about Mark's whereabouts.
"Well P Puth said he allowed him to quit the band. But he can't accept for him to fully abandon the club. P Puth gave him time to think it through. He told him he can always come back if nong Masa wanted to be part of the club once again."
"Well that's reasonable. Maybe Nong Masa's decision to resign was out of spite from his and Vee's disagreement. A decision made from the height of one's emotion is always questionable." Kit looked at me like his words were directed to me too. I immediately avoided his gaze afraid my eyes would give away my emotions.
I've made regrettable actions at the height of my anger for that kid's betrayal and I detested myself because of those actions. But Mark's way of thinking is far more complex and planned. The fact that he have anticipated the worst as to how I would react after knowing the truth made him accept disturbingly what I did to him. It's like he treated it as his punishment. He was blaming himself and it drives me crazy with guilt. He is even planning to get a plastic surgery after he gets back to Japan when all of this is over. The thought of him losing that face I love to look at is making me feel more depressed. Yes he has the same face like his twin brother, but for me Mark's more special. There's something in him that made me fall head over heels the moment I laid my eyes on him that day he came to pretend he was Masa. I'm sure of this now because I have only looked at his brother no more than a friend before.
I got more alert than usual after Nin told us Mark came to the university today. My eyes have never been busy scanning around whenever I walk towards my different classes and some other destinations around the campus grounds. I even took a long route towards my faculty passing through the Medicine department hoping I could take a glance of Mark or his friends. I would like to talk to Jane again and ask her what she meant that night. What about Mark's scar at the back of his head? I remember he told me he got it from saving a friend back then. Then what about it? I don't understand. As to finding where Mark lives, that would be more clearer than the first clue. I have never been in their house even before it was Masa I dated. I just know they live an hour drive from the university but as to where, I don't have any idea. Both Masa and Mark always used their mother's condition to unconvince me from going to their house. Is there more to it? What else do I not know about those twins?
It was already 3 in the afternoon and I have never seen Mark's shadow nor his friends'. My feet ushered me to go to the building where the music club room is and I just sat outside scanning over my phone. I get addicted to watching videos of Mark from youtube. It was easier to search for them when I copied the link from the one's that were sent to me as they were mostly in Japanese.
I'm still curious about the sender of those links too but he or she never replied to me again after I asked for his or her identity. It could be Kana for all I know. I wonder if he was still with Mark. I hate that he always stick around him but I was a little thankful because he was there to support the kid when I was being an arse to him along with Jane and Pran.
I have watched Mark's commercials and other videos for I don't know how many times already. It became my sleeping aid this past few days. I let the video play until my eyes gets too strained from watching. I love seeing him smile in those videos. His handsome face is totally an idol material. He is also extremely talented that he can do anything from singing, to playing different musical instruments, to acting and modeling. He's almost perfect. If his debut as a celebrity was pushed through, then we could have not met like this. Maybe he's still together with that beautiful girl named Saya.
I also looked over Saya Otonashi's social media accounts and other news about her. The girl has every characteristic of a female idol. She can be beautiful and sophisticated, she can be cute and innocent as well and there are more pictures of her being a sexy bad ass female character. A news says she'll debut in Korea soon as one of the member of a female group under a big and famous company. She is every man's dream for a girlfriend.
But seeing the old videos of the three of them, her eyes tells me she only has her attention for Mark. I can tell because it's the same way me and Kana have been looking at that kid. That girl is no doubt crazy about Mark as well.
I know they have broken up already. I don't know if she still feels the same way for Mark. I also don't know if Mark still has feelings for her. But he did told me he fell in love with me. I honestly believe him because the affection he showed me felt so real. I know it is real. And for god's sake I was his first man. I trust in that. Why am I even thinking of myself as a rival for that girl? She's a damn celebrity and what am I?
"Wooooiii!!!" I let out an exasperated noise and slapped my face trying to shake out these thoughts. Some girls passing by giggled as they see me rubbing my hair in frustration.
"Uhmm. Excuse me." A girl that's on her casual baggy jeans, an over large t-shirt that has a NASA print on it and a white Stansmith came to me timidly. She wears a black facemask and a turtle green fisherman's hat that covered her head. Her glorious long and wavy hair drops up to her waist. I can only see her eyes peeping through her hat. She was too ordinary looking except for the signatured crossbody bag that clings to her slim figure.
"Yes?" I greeted her back when she wai'd politely.
"Uhmm. Can P point me to the music room? Specifically the piano room P? I have to meet my boyfriend there and I don't know where it is. Can P help me?" Her accent tells me she did not grow in Thailand. Is she a foreigner? But her thai was really good. It's just her accent that gave her away.
"Yes. This is the building. Can you text your boyfriend to go out here to get you?"
"Problem is he's not answering P. His last reply told me he was in the piano room. You see he has the tendency to lose himself when he's playing the piano P. I'm sorry to bother you P but can you take me there? Please?" Her voice doesn't sound too girly but there's something soothing about it. I bet this girl can sing pretty well.
"Oh. Ok then. I also wanted to see someone inside so I will take you there." I don't know if this girl is flirting with me but I only agreed to accompany her because I wanted to take a glimpse of that special person. Maybe this girl's boyfriend is a club mate of Mark.
I ushered her inside the building in silence. She walked gracefully beside me looking around from time to time. I was no different from her as I tried to look for Mark around. The girl beside me giggled seeing me does the same as her. I can only smile shyly at her. I wonder why she has to wear that facemask though. Is she sick or something?(the Covid Vee.🙄😂)
The sound of the piano was heard as soon as we reached the 4th floor. Someone was playing a classic melody that belongs to Johann Pachelbel. I know this because Mark introduced me to this kind of music. I love watching him play the piano for me in his room after we had one of those heated love making sessions. Ugh. I missed him so much.
"That must be him playing P." The girl beside me said excitedly pointing at the room at the far end of the corridor. If she did not told me her boyfriend was waiting for her in that room, I would think that it was Mark that was playing.
"Uhmm. Then I should go ahead nong." I turned to leave but the girl grabbed my hand to my surprise.
"Let me introduce you to my boyfriend first P. He'll be delighted to know you after he'll learn that you help me find him." She said in her sweet and soothing voice. I can only nodd to her thinking it would be impolite to reject her request.
She opened the door to the piano room and revealed the person inside who seemed to not noticed the door opening. He was too engrossed playing the piece because he was closing his eyes letting his fingers run over the keys. It was not the girl's boyfriend but the person I've been looking for the whole day. It is...
"Mark!" I was startled when the girl beside me called out the name of the person sitting infront of the piano. Mark abruptly stopped playing and whipped his head towards us. It was me who caught his attention first as his eyes grew bigger when he saw me standing by the door looking at him. Then his gaze turned to the girl beside me who was now removing her mask and hat revealing her beautiful face that looked so familiar. It took me a few seconds before I realized who she was.
A few minutes ago, I was only looking at her on my phone. Now she is standing beside me. Is this another glitch I am experiencing?
"Mark! It's me! Saya! Your Saya!"
🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️
📌Some Notes
*Are you guys excited to meet Saya? 🥴
*I'm far from the end so hold on tight ok? 😂
*Happy father's day to Daddy Vee and to your dads!😘