⚠️TW: SELF HARM- DO NOT READ IF YOU MAY HAVE TRAUMATIC FLASHBACKS ⚠️
The Next Morning
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"Are you still mad at me?" I ask Jacob, as I walk downstairs while Isabelle sets out plates of food for everyone.
He doesn't respond. He gets up and walks away.
"Guess that's a yes."
I sigh and sit down grabbing a plate. "Thanks for making breakfast, Isabelle."
"No problem, honey. So, have you convinced your mom to get a house here."
"Not yet. I don't think she will. First of all, prices. Second, we just bought our house, and third my brother doesn't want to. "
"Why don't you take that apartment. It was essentially a gift for you, your brother, and your mom, but mainly you. And it wasn't just from Jacob."
"Really?" She nods.
"It was from all of us. And it's still available. Right now, it's kind of just a place for anyone in the family stay if they have friends over or need a break. You should take it Claira. Even if it''s only you staying there. We've paid the first 3 months of rent. It's 273 a month. We can take care of electricity and water for you, if you can just pay the monthly fee for owning the apartment in general. This months is already paid off. If you did want it, we could move you in on Friday. I mean obviously you have to check with your mom."
"I want to, but I feel like this is a lot. You guys have already spent thousands of dollars on me and my family. Hell, you're helping them pay off the house. You helped pay for my surgery-"
"No. We helped pay off the house, and we helped with the apartment. That's it. Your surgery was all donations Jacob managed to get for you. We really haven't spent so much on you, Claire. And it's all worth it, what we have. Claire, I know what goes on at your house. Jacob has told me, Laken has told me, and your mother has told me. If this keeps you safe, then you should take it."
"Fine. Thank you. I'll ask my mom after school."
__________
"Alright, you ready?" Skye asks.
"Ready as I'll ever be."
"Think we can make varsity as frshman and sophmores?"
"I made the team as a freshman at my old school, so I'm sure we can both make it."
We walk over to the bulletin board and check the list.
Varsity Girl's Softball Team
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-Oliva 'Livy' Madison- 1st baseman
Backup: Isabella Howard, Rachel Lewis.
-Eliana Whaley- 2nd Baseman
Backup: Rowan Arbor, Jamie Peck
-Rose Tason- Shortstop
Backup: Elizabeth Rens
-Bailey Wales- 3rd baseman
Backup: Zoey Lewis, Claira Johnson
-Riley Sust- Right field
Backup: Hailee Benz
-Centerfield: Tanner Iston
Backup: Claira Johnson, Livy Madison
-Alia Castrote
Backup: Lauren Tais
- Claira Johnson-Pitcher
Backup: Tanner Iston, Sienna Holt
-Catcher: Skyleigh Maine
Backup: Sydney Fstan, Rylan Ulshe
Designated Hitters: Jaelynn Raist, Octavia Fist, Joslynn Dames
Utility Players: Easton Wilks, Claira Johnson (When not pitcher), Rylan Ulshe
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"We made the team, Skye! We made it!"
"Hell yeah we did!" She give me high fives and we smile as the first bell rings. "Alright I'll se you either in the hallway sometime, or at practice next week."
"Okay, bye."
I walk to class as someone comes up, tapping on my back. I turn around and I find a girl there smiling.
"Hi," she says, very quietly. "I'm Tanner. I'm in your classes and I'm a backup pitcher for you as your a backup center fielder for me."
"Oh! I know you! I'm Claira! Nice to meet you," I respond, holding my hand out. She shakes my hand and I notice her trembling body as she takes her hand away. "We can walk to class together if you want."
"Sure."
We continue to our first hour class and the moment I walk in, Jacob's eyes meet mine. I sit down in my seat next to him as Tanner walks across the room to hers.
We sit in silence. He doesn't say anything.
"I said I was sorry, like 18 times. Can't you accept my fucking apologies about your face."
"No I fucking can't, until you stop telling me lies. We agreed that we were going to be honest with each other. It's not about you hitting me with door. I probably deserve it. It's. about you being dishonest."
"What am I lying to you about?!?" I half scream, half yell. He rolls his eyes sighing, and checks his phone. I see the time reads 7:45. 15 minutes till class. He grabs my hand and pulls me out of the room into an empty area of the hallway.
"Where were you last night?"
"With my biology partner."
"Why?"
"Because we have a project to work on."
"Who's your partner."
"Tanner."
"Bullshit. Why are you lying to me, god damn it. I know you weren't working on biology. Laken told me y'all don't got a biology project first of all, and second, partners are boy- girl. I know for a fact you always do biology with Laken. So i'll ask you again, where were you."
"I- can't tell you."
"See? No honesty. Why can't you tell me Claira."
"Because i just fucking can't! Why's re so pose dover something so little?"
"It's not little. You're fucking lying to me. If positions were switched you'd be doing the same damn thing! So where, fucking, were, you?"
"Softball tryouts, damn it! i didn't tell you because you're gonna yell at me! It's a lose lose situation. You're never happy with what I choose to do. You wouldn't just support me. You'd get all pissed I signed up when I ain't supposed to. Just like you always do when I do something you don't like. It's like it's never up to me. It's never my decision!"
"Because you make dumb decisions that are bad, and you do stupid shit if I don't! You're fucking stupid sometimes!" He covers his mouth and his eyes widen as he realizes what he said. "Claira, I didn't mean that. I am so sorry." His eyes start to well up with tears and he tries to wrap his around me. I back away , tears ready flowing down my cheeks.
"Claire, please," he says. "I really didn't. I'm sorry I love you."
"Jacob. We need to take a break."
I walk away.
******
After school.
******
I walk into the eh house, tears threatening to spill as I enter the door.
"Isabelle," I say, as I see her when I walk to the kitchen. "Can I move out tonight please. I need to. Please," I sob.
"Oh, honey. Sure. We can just take your bed, bookshelf and books, and TV over there for you. We can get the rest later."
"Thank you," K say, walking to my room to pack everything quickly as I can.
******
12:15 AM
******
Website got finished unpacking and setting everything up. Not much is here, but enough for tonight.
It feels so lonely.
I lie there hoping my phone will light up.
It never does.
No goodnight calls, I love you texts.
Nothing.
I've heard nothing from him.
It makes me sob.
Sob till the tears can't fall out any more.
I've never cried so much.
******
3:15 am
******
I physically can not sleep.
So I get up and go decide to get ready for school.
I strip off my clothes, and turn on the shower, making it so that it steams. As I get in, I realize i'm still crying.
He yelled at me again. Calle some ducking stupid.
Not in a funny "I'm messing with you" way.
Like im actually a fucking idiot. He told me I can't make my own decisions without making bad ones.
He yelled at me again, just like he said he wouldn't.
I've always loved him, not jsut because of his personality, or his looks, but because he made me feel confident. Gave me self worth. Made me feel like an actual person.
I respected him as he respected me.
Now he's torn every piece of that respect.
And self confidence.
Self worth.
He made me feel like a. dumb girl that has no control over her mind.
As I start to get my hair wet i'm the shower, my eyes flicker over to my razor.
No, is what I tell myself.
But I don't stop thinking about it.
I've wanted to do this for a long time.
—TW WARNING: SELF HARM PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT READ IF IT AFFECTS YOU—
I pick up the razor. And drag it across my skin. I scream but the pain numbs.
Each stroke is mental pain, turned to physical.
The bathroom floor of the shower is covered and covered in blood, and I can feel myself getting woozy. But I still continue.
Eventually I black out.
I don't know where. Or when.
Hell, I hardly remember why.
I just remember that Jacob is the cause for this.
*********END OF TRIGGER WARNING******
Hey y'all, thank you for readings Originally this wasn't how I planned for the story to go but it is now. So sorry, it ain't too too big of a difference in the plot.