I'm not even gonna sugar coat it, I have a massive crush on Scotts girlfriend.
"Let me introduce you to my girlfriend, Hope.." Scott said, doing little jazz hands as an intro.
"Wow, your like seriously hot, wow.." I said, shaking her hand.
"Y/N, you literally have a girlfriend!" Scott said in disappointment.
"Oh yeah, hang on, WANDA!" I yelled up the stairs.
Wanda did a little toddle down the stairs to see what was up, coming to the same conclusion as me.
"Your so hot.." She said, before looking to me, "Why didn't you tell me she was hot, I would have freshened up!"
"Sorry love.." I laughed, kissing her check.
"Well its lovely to meet you, I-"
Before the hottie could finish her sentence, I received a JARVIS alert saying someone was at the gate. Upon further inspection, it was the women who I haven't seen in so long was there.
"Holy shit, she's here!" I yelled, sprinting down the hallway to the security room.
"Wait who's here?!" They yelled, following me down the hall.
"The bitch, hide anyone named Steve who she believes inpregnated her!"I yelled, locking the gate.
"Steves a father?" Hope said in confusion.
"According to Sharon, yes. According to biology, no." I laughed.
"Well, can you do that thing where you piss her off and yell at her?" Scott asked.
It only took a moment to get communication set up and when they did, I had some fun. It had been a while since I had seen this psycho gaslighting fake blonde, I had things to yell.
"Avengers tower, you cause chaos, we kill you! How may I be of service to you?" I asked, hearing a flood of laughter behind me.
"I want to speak to Steve, now!" She demanded.
"Well thats a shame, I'm too lazy to let you in here!" I laughed.
"Y/N?! You demonic bitch, let me in!"
"Demonic bitch says no, anything else?" I asked, this was so fun.
"Get Steve, now!" She yelled, fucking satan is just getting on my nerves.
"Steve is in a happy, healthy relationship. You need to leave this man alone before I personally beat your ass.." I said, very bad move.
"WHAT?!"
Okay so, apparently she was unaware that Steve was getting it on with Nat. I should probably call someone and take the yelling I was inevitably going to receive.
"You told Steves ex from hell that he was in love with-"
"Aw you guys are in love!" I said, looking to Nat and then to Steve.
"Shush! Look we may never be able to leave the house ever again because she will find us and most likely kill us!" Steve yelled in a state of fear.
"And you were gonna marry, that.." I said, pointing at the security camera that showed Sharon beating the gate with a chair.
"We're never leaving here again.." Nat said, pulling a face plant.
So I kinda just sat there playing Dance Monkey through the speaker, thinking that it would make her leave, but bitch had stamina. She waited it out, like I'll give her points for that one.
Eventually I ran outside, it was like 2am and I had to make this bitch leave. Wanda wanted cuddles and love, so she was really annoying me.
"I'll kill you one of these days, leave because contrary to what you believe, you are not getting railed tonight.." I said, followed by a massive yawn.
"I want to speak to him-"
"Sharon you're like a coin. Your flat as fuck, a two faced bitch and always seem to be trying to get in someones pants! Just fuck off!" I yelled.
"I wanna see him and that whore Natasha who stole him from me!"
Bad move.
"Okay, I have a licence to light you on fire, permission that was granted by myself. You made a big mistake calling my mother a whore, a hot ass mistake!"
My murder fantasy was complete, although only her clothes were caught on fire as she decided to stop drop and roll.
I mean let's just say Sharon went away for a long time, as per the restraining order that go approved finally. It did feel good to set her on fire, I think next time we should just make her die from it.
Was that a death threat? Indeed. Will I carry it out? Depends on if I'm willing to get out of bed or not.