On the other side of the villa, sleep didn't come for Sarah either. Penny snored lightly in the bed next to hers, and Sophia lay still as a rock on the cot between them. It had taken hours for Penny to calm the fussy child down long enough to sleep.
"It's because she's such a daddy's girl," Penny explained, as Sophia cried and demanded juice. "She's always like this when Talbott's gone overnight."
"You both must miss him a lot," said Sarah.
"So much it hurts. But I know he'll be okay, and that all this will be worth it when You-Know-Who has been defeated for good and Sophia can grow up in a world that's safe again."
Once Sophia was finally settled, an exhausted Penny collapsed on the bed and slept within minutes, but Sarah tossed and turned. She told herself it was because her body wasn't accustomed to the warmer climate, but in reality she couldn't keep from worrying about Barnaby.
Penny had filled her in on what had happened when she'd spent a month locked up with him. Lupin had reached out to all the Order members he could, begging for assistance, and they'd agreed to show up at dawn on November 25th to ambush the Death Eaters. That was when the food would run out, and hopefully by then they would be off their guard. Diego, Merula, and Penny were to find an opening in the battle and escort the refugees to safety, then Diego would take them all to Spain. Unfortunately, there was no way to inform Sarah and Barnaby of the plan without risking that information reaching the Death Eaters. They trusted that Sarah would join the Order or the refugees, but Barnaby would have to be abandoned.
Sarah huffed in annoyance as she sat up, resigning herself to a restless night. She slipped out of bed and crept silently out the door to seek fresh air. As she walked silently down the dark corridors, she thought she ought to transform her pajamas into a long, white, lacy gown, like the troubled maidens who lived in places like this in stories.
She stopped when she reached the center of the house, which featured large, glass doors that lead to an outdoor balcony. She pushed open the doors and strode across the patio to the balcony railing, resting her hands on it as she took in the moonlit panorama and the Spanish air.
Where was Barnaby now? Was he safe? She remembered wondering the same thing when she'd sent him off to Romania after she'd joined the Order. But then, he'd had Charlie. Now, he was presumably alone. How ironic, she thought, that she'd left him because she thought she couldn't trust him with secret information. It turned out, as his torturous kidnapping had proved, Barnaby could keep a secret. But, because he'd gone to Romania, because he'd become involved with the Andrels, now his mind couldn't be trusted. It was all Sarah's fault.
Sarah shuddered. She felt her mind reel back at a sensation similar to walking into a door you didn't realize was locked. Subconsciously, she'd let her mind drift until it found Barnaby's. As soon as he'd noticed, he'd thrown up his shields, but now his mind was relaxed again.
She knew she shouldn't press him, that connecting with his mind posed a dangerous threat, but she couldn't help herself.
Are you okay?
Barnaby's legilimency wasn't strong enough to form coherent sentences at such a distance, but Sarah could feel his emotions--after the shock wore off from feeling her in his mind, he seemed quite calm, even content.
Where are you?
A fuzzy image formed in her mind of dingy walls and an old, wooden bed. He might have been staying at the Leaky Cauldron.
She tried to send him an image of the villa, and she could feel his wonder, along with a twinge of jealousy.
I'm sorry we left you. I--
But her brain couldn't put all her feelings into words. All Barnaby sent back was an image of crup puppies playing. Sarah smiled, and took this to mean it was okay.
For the next few minutes, they sent amusing images to each other, of magical creatures and old memories with their friends.
You really shouldn't be talking to me, she admitted after a while. You should be using your occlumency. I could be Elena pretending to be me to gain more access to your thoughts.
Barnaby was overcome with a strong emotion, but it took Sarah a moment to place it. Then she realized he was laughing, laughing like that was the most ridiculous thing in the world.
Though this confused her, she had to chuckle. His laugher was contagious even across the sea.
"Nice jammies."
Sarah jumped and tried to spin around, but someone cast a spell and locked her legs together. She slipped and knocked her head against the railing as she rolled to the floor.
Merula herself nearly fell to the floor in laughter, her wand still raised.
"Not funny, Merula," spat Sarah, as she rubbed her head. "Let me go."
She chastised her stupidity for not bringing her wand with her as she waited for Merula's laughter to subside long enough to cast the counterspell.
"Shh!" said Sarah, once she could finally stand, "people are trying to sleep. What are you doing out here, anyway?"
Merula took a moment to regain her breath. "Oh man, that was great. What am I doing? Catching you off in la-la land. You're lucky I'm not working for the Dark Lord anymore, or that lovely view would be the last thing you'd ever see."
Once her own heart had slowed down, Sarah could feel Barnaby's concern. She told him she was alright, but that she was going to bed and said goodnight.
"What are you doing out here all by yourself?" Merula asked, rather than answering the same question.
"I couldn't sleep. Came out to get some fresh air."
Merula nodded, then took Sarah's place leaning out over the balcony. After a moment, she whispered, "Where do you think he is?"
"I'm not sure, but I'm sure he's fine," said Sarah, deciding it was best not to tell the others that she'd been inside his mind. "You know how tough Barnaby is."
"Not Barnaby, Jacob."
"Oh." Sarah joined Merula at the balcony, as if she thought Jacob would appear walking in between the grape vines. "No idea. He probably knows exactly where we are though."
"So you found out he was possessing you?"
"You knew about that?"
Merula shrugged. "I put it together. I guess that was what made you mad enough to split up with him? Or are you just that stupid in love with Lee?"
Sarah felt her face burn, but she refused to look at Merula.
"Why did you come with us, anyway? If anyone here is 'stupid in love' with someone, its you--with my brother."
"I think his quest for those horcruxes, or whatever they're called, is pointless. I'm waiting for my chance to take out You-Know-Who, and I thought you were going to be the one to get me there, but look where we are now. That's what I get for ignoring one of the first rules I ever set at Hogwarts. Never rely on a Spellman."
"I'm not bowing out of this fight, if that's what you're thinking. I'm going back to England, tomorrow if possible, to figure out what we need to do next."
"You can lie to yourself Spellman, but don't lie to me."
Sarah turned to her. "What are you talking about?"
"You're going back to England alright, but it isn't to kill Death Eaters. It's to find Lee. And once you find him, you won't be able to do anything useful but keep his precious little mind from learning anything it shouldn't. Which means you'll be as worthless as him."
"There's nothing wrong with me trying to take care of my friends," she snapped.
"There is when it gets in the way of the bigger picture. This is just like at school, when you kept putting off taking down Rakepick to have parties and pretend everything was unicorns and rainbows for your friends."
"I had just lost a friend, as you very well know! And I won't apologize for taking care of the ones I still had. We got rid of Rakepick in the end, didn't we?"
"We'd have gotten rid of her before Rowan was murdered if we'd done things my way."
Sarah fumed. Merula had been the one obsessed with gaining Rakepick's favor. She'd trusted her completely, which is why she was still so bitter about it even now.
"So, what?" she hissed. "You want us to charge into some den of Death Eaters with no plan and hope we find and kill Vol--You-Know-Who, before someone kills us?"
"We'll never get anywhere if were too afraid to make a move. We'll just keep hiding in the woods for the rest of this war. We need to take action, even if it means taking some risks. This is a war, Spellman. People you care about are gonna die. You can't stop it, but you can be ready to get revenge."
Both girls looked up as someone cleared their throat. Diego stood in the doorway. Though Merula wasn't leg-locked, Sarah was at least content that she'd been caught of guard this time as well.
"Sorry to interrupt," he said in a hoarse voice, "but can I speak to you in private?"
"Sure," said Sarah, glad get away from Merula's conversation. Though, she had a feeling this next one would be just as unpleasant.
Diego led her up to his room and turned on the light. As he motioned for her to sit on the bed, Sarah noticed that his skin seemed paler than usual. His normally immaculate hair and robes were disheveled, and shadows had formed under his eyes. Diego was not having a good night.
"I have a decision to make," he said, pacing back and forth. "And I don't want there to be any secrets between us, so even though it paints me as a coward, I will tell you the truth. My Abuelo has had a vision that if I continue to fight in this war, I will die."
Sarah gasped.
"He said nothing is certain, but fate has stacked the odds against me. Naturally I told them that I would go to fight anyway, that only a coward let's the fear of death keep him out of the action--"
"You've got to stay here!"
She sprang from the bed and grabbed his hands to stop him pacing. Holding them up, she added, "I just told Merula I'd do whatever it takes to keep my friends safe. Even...even if it means leaving them behind. If this is the only place you're safe, then you need to stay here, at least for now."
Diego met her with shining eyes.
"But what about making your own fate and fighting against the odds? I can't bear to stay here like a coward and know that you are out there risking your life."
"And I couldn't bear to take you with me to any battle, knowing it might be your last."
"That's the nature of battles."
"Diego, please." She let go of one of him so she could place a hand on his face. "I don't want to lose you."
He choked back a sob, but nodded.
"I will stay, at least until Christmas. But as soon as I make sense of the future, I will return."
Sarah nodded. She didn't want to leave him, she never wanted to leave any of her friends, but more than anything, she wanted to see them all again once this war was over, to hold them and hug them and laugh with them. Tonight couldn't have been Diego's last dance.
He cleared his throat. Sarah could sense more bad news on the way, and for Diego, what came next would somehow be worse.
"You could stay for Christmas, too. Build up your strength, stay in a warm bed, eat good food."
"That does sound nice..." Merula wouldn't like it. There was still work to be done. And someone had to get rid of the Andrels. "But, I don't think I can. There's still so much to do before we face You-Know-Who."
He smiled. "Spoken like a true Gryffindor. I'm as proud of you as I am ashamed of myself."
"Don't be."
She watched as he rubbed her hands with his.
"Sarah? In this spirit of honesty...do you really love me?"
She continued to watch their hands, as if that would make his question go away. But when she did meet his eyes, she saw that he knew the answer already.
"I'm sorry," she said, her vision blurred by tears.
He nodded. "I could feel it. When we danced. I didn't need Abuelo or anyone else to tell me. You have legilimency; I have the power to tell what people are thinking when they dance. You don't love me, at least not the same way I love you."
"I'm sorry," she said again. "I didn't mean to lead you on, really I didn't. I care very much about you. I haven't been able to imagine being in love since You-Know-Who returned, but I thought--I hoped--that I would grow to love you, over time. Maybe I still could, but with everything going on--"
"It's okay," he said softly. "Whatever the reason, it didn't work out. It happens. But, we'll always be friends. One day, after this war is over, I'll find somebody new, you'll find...somebody new, and we'll laugh and realize we were never right for each other, and the person we are with is who we are meant for. But, as I've learned recently, knowing the future doesn't make the present any easier."
Sarah wiped her eyes. Diego's were teary too.
"You're a good man, Diego."
"And you're a good woman. Best I've ever known."
But she didn't feel good at all.
Diego pulled her in for one last kiss, and the sorrow within it nearly broke her in two. She kissed him back, trying to make up for all the pain she caused him, and they tasted the salt of each other's tears before they pulled back. Diego wiped a tear from her cheek with a thumb.
"You are doing Dumbledore proud."
Though so much more could have been said, neither of them had the words. So, Diego turned away, and Sarah slipped out of his room to return to her own.