I was completely ready to bring the family lunch- a run to Subway and back. My car had other plans.
It was a little after noon, and the temperature only continued to rise. Luckily I'm flat enough to ditch the bra- I knew I would sweat straight through it- and wore the thinnest sundress I had and pulled my thick hair up high. I could physically see the air shimmering just above the horizon. I was sitting on the edge of the deck just waiting for the tall, yellowed grass in the fields to catch fire.
Jay arrived in an old t-shirt, cowboy hat, and overalls, carrying nothing but her phone. I'd told her we likely had everything she'd need here. If not, the car was a lost cause.
She stepped onto the deck. When she slipped her sunglasses off and tossed them on a nearby lawn chair, I finally got a good look at her. Something about her demeanor seemed off. Her eyes fought to stay open. Grayish purple circles beneath her bloodshot eyes looked like they were weighing her whole face down. She looked irate, ready to tackle any amount of work, and not even here all at the same time.
She either ignored or did not register my dumbstruck stare as she came up beside me without so much as a 'hello.'
"You look high and also dead. Are you okay?" I asked bluntly.
"I'm fine. Just tired." She answered simply.
"You don't look fine. You look like shit."
"Thanks." She started to go in. "Car's in the garage?" She stuck her thumb in that direction.
"No. Not yet. Sit down." I patted the space beside me.
"Fianna," she sighed, "I just wanna get this done. You said the warning light came on...?"
"Don't change the subject. Sit down."
Jay let out a very long sigh. Reluctantly, she did.
"What were you doing before you came here?" I asked firmly like a disapproving mother.
She rubbed dripping beads of sweat off her glistening forehead with the back of her hand, ignoring my intense stare. "My usual chores," She answered with another exhausted sigh.
"That can't be it."
"I told you I was... guarding the chickens." She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her thighs.
"Wait, you were up all night? Just sitting outside?" I asked with an incredulous gaze.
"Uhh... last night?" She took her time to think. "Yeah. I was."
I smacked her arm. "Bitch!"
She held her hands up in defense, finally making eye contact. "I had to! But I upgraded the fence today so it should be fine. I won't have to do that again."
"Good! Dumb bitch, I can't believe you pulled an all nighter. Outside."
She shrugged her shoulders slightly. "I've done it before."
My eyes bulged. "Are you serious?"
She smiled a little at me. "It just comes with the job. I've had to do a lot of things nobody necessarily wants to do."
"Like...?" I pressed, raising my eyebrows with intrigue.
I was met with a tired shrug. "It's hard labor so sometimes I'm sore. I had to chase after Phantom last month when he got spooked by some stupid stray cat. And just yesterday I was guarding chickens from coyotes all night."
"So you were gonna, like... shoot one if you had to?" I recalled warily.
"Yes..?" She nodded like it was a stupid question. "I don't know how else you'd expect me to do it." She chuckled.
"Wait, have you killed... things before? Like not bugs?"
She pressed a sheepish smile. "You're not gonna like the answer."
"Oooh." Eager for details, I waited for her to continue but she didn't. I assumed she thought I was too innocent for the truth. I wanted to prove I wasn't a baby, so I prodded further. "Like what...?"
"Well." She began, letting a beat of thoughtful silence pass by between us. "Coyotes, cows, chickens.... whatever."
I cringed. "And it doesn't bother you?"
She shook her head without a qualm.
"I'd cry." I laughed. "Like uncontrollably."
"Good thing you're you and not me." She looked about ready to get up. I had to think of something to say, fast.
"Thanks for mowing our lawn for me." I blurted.
That got her attention. She blinked at me, eyebrows twitching downward. "How did you-?"
"My dad said he didn't do it, he thought it was me when he got home. There was only one other person who knew I had to mow. The obvious answer was you."
She smirked. "You got me."
"I can't believe you did that." I shook my head in disbelief.
She shrugged. "Well, I figured you'd be tired from work, and I just wanted to do you a favor."
I pressed a smile full of compassion and guilt. "You're too sweet to me. After all that, you must be so exhausted right now. I might just send you home."
"No no, I'm already here." She said as she got to her feet. "And I think you've stalled long enough. Show me the damn car I wanna get this thing started." Jay said, inching toward the garage.
She saw right through me. "Fine," I groaned, standing up as well. "I'm just worried, okay? You don't look like yourself." I said a little kinder.
Jaycee dropped her eyes, hooking her thumbs through her belt loops. She shuffled back to where I still stood. "I'm fine," she said slowly and carefully with a hint of a smile, running her hands down my arms. "You don't need to worry about me." She shook her head as she talked.
I frowned as I stared her in the face. She didn't look any better up close. I watched a droplet of sweat run down her forehead and temple, getting caught at her jawline until it fell off her face. The wind stirred and birds sang as she waited for me to say something in reply. Finally I did. "Okay." I barely nodded. "I trust you."
"Good." She nodded once with a smile that showed me her off-white teeth. "Now will you please take me to your car?" She asked politely yet intensely.
I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Yes. Let's go."
We had plugged in one of those wiry, cage-like outdoor fans about an hour ago. The temperature in the garage wasn't much better, but at least we had a fan and shade.
Even though the original plan was to pick up food, I made lunch for the both of us just like I had last time Jay fixed something for my family. The car wouldn't be ready in time, I'd accepted.
My grandma made herself a sandwich beside me as I made two of the same ones: one for me and the other for Jay. Isabella occupied one of the gliders. She'd eaten twenty minutes ago- heating a cup of microwaveable ramen. My dad was already seated in his regular place, inhaling his own sandwich creation at an alarming speed. The dogs drooled longingly at his feet.
I left the water on for my grandma to use the sink after me. Drying my hands on the sides of my dress, I took both plates with identical sandwiches and chips from the counter and set them on placemats across one another. I had to step over both Brody (our largest dog) and Pepper to do so. Bringing Jay's plate out to her was out of the question. If she wasn't gonna give herself a break she would at least have to come inside to eat.
As I started to go out I stopped myself to watch through the door window.
I caught Jay in a moment of rest. She was no longer looking at the engine. She was just leaning her arms against the car's front for support, the open hood above her as her head hung low, her chin pressed against her chest. I saw her arms quivering every so often.
I pushed open the door. "Hey." I strode over, twiddling my fingers.
Her reddened face shining with sweat, Jay lifted her head, blinking more than anyone normally would. "Hmm, what's up?" Dampened loose strands of hair had stuck to her face and neck.
"Lunch is ready, if you're at a stopping point. It's at the table."
"It's ready now?" She wiped sweat off her forehead using the back of her hand. Her jaw remained slack even after she'd finished speaking.
"Yeah. It's too hot to eat outside, so come on." I beckoned.
"Okay." Jaycee sighed, lifting the hem of her tank to pat her face dry, inadvertently revealing a black Nike sports bra and a decent amount of abs underneath. She didn't seem to care, but I averted my eyes. "I'm coming." She stepped toward me.
"Jay, wait-"
She kicked over an entire open toolbox sitting right in her path, it's contents spilling everywhere across the concrete floor.
"Sorry," she sighed frustratedly, rubbing her face as she bent down to clean it up. "Didn't even see that."
"No." I took her hand that was about to grab a socket wrench. "Leave it. We'll clean it up later. Lunch is ready now." I pulled Jay's resisting body up.
She gave in to my arm yanking hers, unwillingly following me inside the farmhouse. "Okay, okay, I get it, you want me to come inside."
My dad beamed as we entered. "Hey Jaycee!"
"Hello!" My grandmother added cheerily.
My sister remained indifferent, her AirPods in use.
Jay stared at the ground as if she were suddenly nervous speaking to my father. "Afternoon, sir. Good to see y'all again." She waved in his general direction.
I placed a hand on her shoulder. Her skin was hot to the touch. Ignoring it, I pointed to one plate of food on the table. "This one's yours," I said to Jay. Her eyes followed my finger but didn't quite line up with the plate, I noticed, fixated on something else just nearby it. I went to take my seat across from her, though I couldn't take my eyes away from her weary state.
My dad got up to throw away his plate of crumbs, excusing himself behind Jay. The dogs, discouraged, lazed about the kitchen. Jaycee didn't seem to notice my father's presence. Or much around her, really. She looked dazed, distracted.
Jay pulled out her chair, taking a few short steps in reverse straight for Brody. She stumbled backwards over the resting dog. I reached for her across the table. She groped the tabletop as the dog skittered away, Jay ultimately falling on my dad who reflexively caught her limp body, dropping his plate in the process.
He didn't waste any time. "She needs to go to the couch. Fianna, I need your help."
He didn't need to ask me even once. I dropped whatever was in my hand (likely my phone) and joined my dad in hoisting her up. He took her shoulders while I had her legs.
Once she was on the couch, my dad went to a styrofoam cooler sitting off to the side.
I sat on the coffee table and stared. I repositioned her body in ways I considered more comfortable, hoping I was doing something of value as I watched her chest rapidly rise and fall. As I touched either of her arms her skin was scorching, glistening with sweat. I snatched the nearest thing off the table, some old magazine, and started fanning her.
My dad returned, placing an ice cold, moist cloth over her forehead, one my sister would use for hot soccer days. Jaycee mumbled an inaudible yet grateful reply.
My dad went to retrieve her hat that had fallen on the floor and passed it to me. I grabbed it, putting it on my own head so she'd see it was in safe hands.
Her eyelids flickered, just barely open. "Hey." She said softly. I assumed she was looking at me because she cracked a little bit of a smile.
"Hi." I smiled back, leaning in to hear. Her voice was so quiet. "Now you're really not going back out there."
She chuckled. "I'm never gonna hear the end of this, am I?"
I shook my head. "Never."
Jaycee struggled with shaky arms, shifting herself to sit on the couch the correct way, and then tried to weakly push herself up.
I gently pushed her warm chest down, forcing her to lean back. "No, don't. Just relax for a bit. Don't rush yourself." I said in a calm, compassionate tone of voice.
She suddenly pushed herself up again, feebly trying to stand.
"No, no, no. Don't get up, just-just sit there. Relax." I ordered, more firmly this time.
She sat back, doing as she was told with an exhaustive exhale, smirking slightly. "Yes ma'am." She leaned her head back and closed her eyes.
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Yo this version of lean on me is by rascal flatts??? How fitting yk?? Fantastic cover too??