Author's Note: It has been a while since I promised you a reverse version of "Protecting Each Other" (over two months, actually). I wanted to make sure I handled it properly, because it is such a delicate subject, and for the longest time, it just wasn't there. But, after several rewrites, I've finally got it! And it's really long.
Same warnings as the other version – unwanted touching, consensual touching, lots of sauciness, but no smut.
The public was well aware of the grand, luxurious parties thrown by the upper class – the ones where they took turns filling their ballrooms with stiffly dressed, well-mannered lords and ladies, all chatting and dancing politely. However, there was another type of party that the rich and powerful liked to stage – one that was kept strictly confidential, because it would have revealed that they were just as depraved as the low-class sinners in the Underground City. Unlike their counterparts, these parties took place in the dark, with lots of masked faces and sultry clothing and unspoken indulgences. This was the filthy underbelly of society's elite, and your commander had ordered you straight into the thick of it.
Apparently, one of the merchants here had information that the Scouts needed desperately. Commander Erwin had tried all other avenues of getting it – bribery, theft – but to no avail. Thus, he had turned to you, because you just happened to be the merchant's type.
You were beyond uncomfortable with the mission. You had hardly even kissed anyone before – just once, when you were a child and merely got curious – but now, you were expected to seduce this man, to go as far as necessary to get the information out of him. Not only were you uncomfortable – you were terrified. Yet, Erwin made such a compelling case that you felt you had to agree. The Scouts needed this. And by extension, humanity needed this.
So, here you were, wearing nothing but a half mask and a skimpy dress, pulled flush against a similarly masked man with a slippery smile and alcohol-drenched breath. The two of you sat in a secluded booth at the edge of a darkened club – which was really a secret room in some noble's summer home. The merchant's third glass rested half-empty on the table.
When you had a split second of opportunity, you slipped a sprinkle of powder into his drink. According to Erwin, the drug was supposed to make the pig less guarded, more likely to reveal secrets. However, it was still a risk. If the merchant became too insistent before the drug could take effect, you might actually have to...
You resisted the urge to glance around, knowing Erwin was here somewhere, watching. So were Mike and Hanji. As high-ranking military officers, they each received invitations to these events, but they were only here tonight to protect you if things went wrong. You just wished someone was here to protect you from things going right.
Unbidden, you thought of Levi. The two of you were close friends, and you always felt safer when he was around. However, you had asked Erwin to exclude Levi from this mission. It would've been mortifying if he saw you like this – so much so that you would never have been able to look him in the eye again. On top of that, you secretly cared for Levi as more than a friend, and you couldn't help wanting him to think highly of you, even if he would likely never return your feelings.
Too soon, the merchant started getting handsy, and you had no choice but to play along. You let him whisper in your ear, let him trail his wet lips down your neck, not so much kissing as devouring. Honestly, a titan's mouth would have been less intrusive. And...you felt like you were going to cry.
You had never been touched like this before, and you certainly didn't want your first time to be with someone so sleazy and repulsive. Every point of contact made you feel violated in the worst way – and dirty, as if his hands left a trail of grease behind that seeped right through to your skin. It was all you could do to keep yourself from breaking into a panic. God, you didn't want this, anything but this. But the Scouts needed that information...
Pretend it's Levi.
The thought came to you out of nowhere. Perhaps it was a survival mechanism, a way for your mind to dull the trauma that your body couldn't escape. Perhaps it was because Levi was the only man you would trust to get close to you, the only one who you were certain would be respectful in any circumstance. You felt guilty thinking about your friend in that way, but you didn't know what else to do.
You released a breath. Then...
It's Levi, you told yourself. Levi's hands. Levi's voice.
Perhaps you should've felt worse about the way your body melted into the merchant's touch. And rather than disgust coiling in your gut, you started to sense warmth, snaking its way up from somewhere below. Your eyelids fluttered, and you made sure to keep looking toward the ceiling, or the wall – anywhere but the merchant's face. If you didn't look, you could pretend...
"Such a good girl," he cooed. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
Levi's voice. Levi's.
"Yes," you sighed.
He chuckled, satisfied and hungry at the same time. "I thought so."
Soon enough, your eyelids closed of their own accord. Heat bloomed everywhere he touched, while butterflies stroked your insides with their wings. Your body pressed close to him on instinct, fingers threading through his hair, through that silky black undercut...
Levi. This was Levi.
His hands were all over you, groping every one of your soft curves like he owned them. And you didn't mind, because it felt good – in a way you had never experienced before. You sensed his fingers on the bare skin beside your knee, sliding up, and up, under your dress...
The merchant seemed amused by your body's responsiveness. "Looks like someone's excited," he purred. "How about we find a room upstairs?"
You froze. God, you had been hoping it wouldn't come to this. Worse – you were fully aware of the merchant now, fully aware that it was his greasy hands on your body. His dreadful observation had left you too stunned to keep pretending, because...that would mean you were enjoying this...that you liked having this sleazy man all over you.
Or...that you had used thoughts of your friend for your own pleasure.
Shame filled you, nearly making you sick to your stomach. You weren't the pure, innocent maiden that you had claimed to be. In fact, you were just as depraved as the rest of them, and a fraud to boot. Maybe you were right for this mission, after all. Maybe you deserved it...
You gasped when the merchant's fingers squeezed your thigh, nails digging into your soft flesh. Apparently, he was getting impatient. "Well?" he prodded, insistence layered beneath his attempt at a seductive tone.
You nodded, trying to cover up your hesitation. "Lead the way," you breathed, too terrified to speak any louder than that.
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"You're abnormally quiet, Four-eyes," Levi observed flatly. "What's the matter? You need to take a dump or something?"
Hanji merely frowned before stating tersely, "I'm getting a drink." She stood and walked to the bar, her demeanor clearly conveying anger – but at what, Levi didn't know. He'd been kept in the dark about this whole affair.
Thus, Levi turned his attention to the blonde sitting across from him. "Are you ever going to tell me why we're here?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back in the booth, leaving his glass of whiskey untouched. His eyes peered out from behind a black half mask to stare expressionlessly at his commander.
Erwin had insisted that he wear it – a subtle but detailed adornment similar to what the rest of the party guests wore. Of course, calling them "party guests" was a very polite way of putting it. This club was packed with upper-class socialites who were not only depraved, but hypocritical to boot. At least in the Underground City, everyone owned up to the fact that they were hell-bound.
After becoming famous as Humanity's Strongest, Levi had begun receiving invitations to these clandestine gatherings. Of course, he always tossed them in the trash, or fed them to the fire – even less interested in self-indulgent debauchery now than he was in the Underground. However, Erwin had asked him to accept this one.
"We're here in case things get out of hand. That's all," Erwin replied, his bright blue eyes partially hidden beneath the shadow of his mask. However, even with that shadow, Levi could tell that the commander's gaze only remained on him for a second before darting off somewhere else, just as it had been doing all night. Strange...
"Tch," Levi hissed as he followed Erwin's gaze. "What do you keep..."
The words caught in his throat when he saw what had Erwin so captivated. A few booths away, a man and a woman were all over each other, putting on a display that would've been grossly inappropriate in a normal setting but was perfectly acceptable here. However, Levi was pretty sure that Erwin wasn't the type to watch others like that, so he analyzed the pair, trying to figure out what the commander was so interested in.
The man's face was hidden in the woman's neck, but the greying of his hair told Levi that he was middle-aged, and obviously older than the young woman in his clutches. Speaking of, something about that woman struck Levi as strange. She was putting on a good act, but Levi had seen enough acts to know that she wasn't really enjoying her partner's attention. Also, her skimpy dress revealed lean muscles that weren't very common among the female aristocrats. In fact, she had more of a soldier's build...
Levi stiffened, staring very intently at the woman's face – which, like everyone else's, was half-hidden beneath a mask. Yet, he could make out the shape of her jawline, the curve of her lips. And suddenly, he realized that he knew those lips very well, because he gazed at them every day, wishing that he could...
"Erwin..." Levi muttered in a state of shock. "Please don't tell me that's (f/n)."
"It seems I can't get anything past you, can I?" the commander mused, sounding almost regretful.
Levi tore his eyes away from (f/n) to glare at the blonde. "Explain," he demanded tersely. "Now."
Erwin sighed, then murmured, "The man with her is a merchant by the name of Otto Royce. He has information that the Scouts need, but he refuses to share it. I've tried all other means of obtaining it – to no avail. This was the only option left, and when I presented (f/n) with our predicament, she agreed to take part in this mission. She asked me not to tell you. That's why I brought you here without an explanation."
Levi's blood ran cold. Of course, he knew that it was a common tactic. And he knew that the commander was ruthless. But still, he didn't want to believe... "Erwin," he gasped, "what have you done?"
"I ordered (f/n) to do what she had to," Erwin replied coldly. "It's necessary for the Scouts' survival."
Levi could feel his body shutting down. He merely stared at the commander, paralyzed, processing what exactly that order entailed. Thoughts and images swirled in his mind like a typhoon – his earliest memories, of growing up in the same brothel where his mother worked as a prostitute.
Despite Kuchel Ackerman's best attempts, Levi had still seen things that no child should ever have to endure. He had watched filthy men do unspeakable things to her. He had watched her pretend to enjoy it. And as he got older, he started to realize that it was all for his sake, all to put food in his mouth and a roof over his head.
Now, he was acutely aware of the fact that he was once again watching. Only this time, it was (f/n) who was sacrificing her body – not for his sake, but for the Scouts. However, the reason didn't make any difference. His best friend was about to end up like his mother.
And he was just sitting here, doing nothing to stop her from being violated.
Levi stood up so abruptly that he banged into the table, causing the drinks in their glasses to slosh and nearly spill.
"Levi!" Erwin hissed in warning.
Levi whirled on him, furious. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he barked, his voice lost in the drone of the music and chatter. In that moment, it didn't cross his mind that he was practically screaming at his commander. His only thought was for (f/n).
Erwin's eyes narrowed, and when he spoke again, his tone was carefully controlled – trying to appeal to Levi in a logical manner. "I don't like it either. But the Scouts can't survive without that information. (F/n) agreed to this, well aware of the risk. You need to respect her decision."
"Tch. As if she really had a choice," Levi snapped, turning to leave. "I'm getting her out of here."
But when his eyes found the booth again, (f/n) and the merchant were gone.
Levi's heart stopped. "Where are they?" he uttered, fear quieting his voice almost to the point of silence.
Erwin said nothing.
Levi whirled on him once again, ready to grab him by the collar and force him to spit it out, but Mike was there instead, standing between Levi and the commander. "You need to calm down," the section commander stated, the slightest hint of a threat in his words.
Levi bared his teeth, ready to fight Mike and Erwin and this entire damn club if he had to. He could do it, but...it would cost precious time. So instead, he turned around and started pushing his way through the crowd – his petite frame providing an advantage, for once, as he slipped through the small spaces between bodies.
He was certain (f/n)'s familiar head of (h/c) hair wasn't among the crowd, and he guessed that the merchant had taken her somewhere more private. But where? He didn't have time to search the whole mansion...
Hanji nearly barreled into him just as he reached the room's exit. After so many years of working together, one look was all they needed to know that they were on the same page.
"I followed..." she panted. "Upstairs, third floor, two lefts, fifth door on the right."
As soon as those words left her lips, Levi was running.
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You got the information just in time.
Although you felt violated in ways you wouldn't soon forget, mercifully, your clothes and the merchant's were still on. You told yourself you were lucky. You could disappear before it got worse.
However, before you could make a move, the bedroom door slammed open.
Both you and the merchant gasped as your heads whipped in that direction. Then all of a sudden, the merchant was on the ground, not moving. And a familiar, petite person stood in front of you.
"Are you alright?" Levi asked, breathless, as if he had just been running.
You could only gape, your wide eyes darting between him and the merchant, then back again. "Levi..." you gasped. "Did you...kill him?"
"No. He's just unconscious," Levi growled, his tone implying that he would rather have killed the man. He reached out and took your hand, pulling you away. "Come on."
Levi led you to a dark room a few doors down, and once your eyes adjusted, you realized that it was a library. He sat you down in a comfortable chair before removing his mask, letting you see his full face. "Are you alright?" he repeated.
You nodded, still in a state of shock. Why was he here? Had Erwin ignored your request to keep Levi out of this? But then...that would mean Levi saw...
You turned your face away, suddenly unable to look at him. You felt mortified beyond words. And...oh God, the things you had thought about him...they were unforgivable. How could you have objectified your friend like that?
But then your mind was back to the merchant's vile touch, and you shivered.
Levi caught the movement, noticed how wide and vacant your eyes had become. "Hey, look at me," he murmured, placing a hand on your cheek. "It's over, (f/n). I promise, I won't let him or anyone else touch you again."
You flinched away from the contact, knowing you didn't deserve it. Levi shouldn't be touching you. Not when you were so disgusting. "Don't," you whispered, still unable to look him in the eye. "You should leave."
At that moment, the door to the library opened. Mike, Erwin, and Hanji walked in, all wearing varying expressions of anger. In the back of your mind, you wondered how they could've found you in such a big mansion, but a second later, you realized that Mike must have sniffed you out.
"...because we both knew it was wrong," Hanji was saying. "I tried to tell you from the start, but you wouldn't listen."
"Enough," Erwin stated before turning his icy gaze to the captain. "Levi, you put this whole mission at risk. In fact, you put the very existence of the Scout Regiment at risk by ruining our last chance at getting that information. I never would have believed that you would act so rashly. Tell me – what would you have done if someone found Royce before we did, beaten and unconscious on the floor, and called the police? I thought you had grown beyond the thug you were when I pulled you out of the Underground, but it seems I was wrong. You're just as –"
"Sir," you muttered quietly, interrupting your commander. You were still too shaken and ashamed to look any of them in the eye, but you couldn't stand to hear him insult your friend. "Levi didn't ruin the mission. I got the information we need."
Erwin's eyes flicked to you. Despite the good news, his tone was still stiff as he spoke, "Thank you, (f/n). I'm glad someone did their job tonight."
You nearly reached out to take Levi's hand, wanting to support him in the face of Erwin's anger. You knew how much Levi looked up to Erwin, knew that it must have taken a lot for Levi to defy Erwin's orders. That he did it for you.
However, before your fingers could travel the space between you and Levi, you snatched your hand back, remembering how filthy you were. You had treated Levi terribly, even if he didn't know it. You didn't have the right to touch him.
"We're done here," Erwin continued. "This isn't the place to discuss what you learned. We should return to Headquarters."
You nodded meekly, keeping your eyes averted from Levi while you stood and followed Erwin out the door. The others closed ranks around you, with Hanji at your side, Mike at your back, and Levi trailing far behind. As your little group walked through the darkened halls, you heard lewd noises emitting from several rooms, and you winced at the reminder of what had almost happened.
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After giving your report to Erwin, you dragged yourself through a shower, trying futilely to wash away the trauma of the party. Once you had finished rinsing the soap from your body, you found yourself standing frozen under the water, your eyes locked on the wall tiles, staring at nothing. Meanwhile, your mind wouldn't stop spiraling.
No amount of soap would ever be able to clean you, now that you had been tainted by that sleazy merchant. Even now, you could feel the imprint of his hands all over your body, in sensitive places that had previously been untouched by anyone. Worse, you had enjoyed it...
A knock sounded on the door, yanking you from your reverie. Your head jerked in that direction, your heart pounding and mouth gasping as if you had abruptly woken up. Only then did you realize that whoever was knocking had been doing so for several minutes – softly at first, then growing louder.
"(F/n)?" came Levi's concerned voice from the other side of the door. Vaguely, you registered the rarity of such an expression from the stoic man. "(F/n), please. You don't have to open the door. Just say something – let me know that you're alright. Otherwise, I...I'll have to come in there."
It wasn't a threat. Rather, he truly was worried about you – and given that you had apparently been unresponsive in the shower for quite some time, his apprehension was understandable.
Lifelessly, you reached forward and turned off the water. "I'm alright," you called.
You heard his relieved sigh, his quiet, "Thank God." However, what you didn't hear were his footsteps walking away. You listened for them as you went through the motions of toweling yourself off and securing the white cotton fabric around your body, but they never came.
Sure enough, when you opened the door, Levi was still standing there, gazing at you with blatant worry in his eyes. He hadn't even changed out of his suit yet. "Are you really?" he asked softly.
You couldn't look at him, couldn't bear to see the concern that you didn't deserve. Your chin dipped as you slid around him and made your way to the bed, sinking down onto the bottom edge of the mattress. "You should go. I'm not worth it," you quavered, on the verge of tears. Even though you knew you deserved it, telling him to leave felt like driving a nail through your heart.
"(F/n)..." he breathed in disbelief, still completely unaware of the shameful scene that had transpired inside your head. "Why would you say that?"
The genuine care in his voice was too much – you couldn't take it. Your chest constricted, and you bit down hard on your lip to hold back the sobs. You quickly turned your face away, hiding the fact that you were so close to falling apart.
For a moment, there was only silence. Then you heard the soft pad of Levi's footsteps as he made his way to the bed, gingerly lowering himself to sit by your side. After another long moment, he reached out and gently placed his hand over yours. He never offered physical comfort to anyone – and in fact, he felt rather awkward doing so – but apparently, he was willing to try for you.
However, as soon as his fingers touched your skin, you jerked your hand away. "Don't!" you cried. "I don't d-deserve...to be t-touched by you!"
"What are you talking about?" Levi uttered, his brow furrowed with worry. "Is this about what happened tonight? (F/n), listen, you did nothing wrong. That bastard had no right to touch you, but that's on him, not you. You're not undeserving, or dirty, or ruined, or any of that shit people say."
Tears filled your eyes at his words, because he still didn't get it. Moreover, the fact that he was being so kind to you only made you feel worse about what you had done. You wished you could believe what he said, believe that you weren't dirty. Actually, you needed to hear those words more than anything right now. But how could you accept it, when you had dragged him into your twisted fantasy? You really were no better than all those hypocrites in the club.
"You don't u-understand," you insisted, trying so hard to get the words out without crying. It broke your heart to tell him the truth, but he deserved to know. Thus, you blinked back your tears, and you explained everything that had happened in that booth.
When you were done, Levi was silent for a long time. You held your breath, waiting for him to tell you what a disgusting wretch you were, and that he never wanted to see you again. However, those harsh words didn't come.
In fact, when Levi did speak, his voice was gentle. "(F/n), look at me."
Slowly, you met his eyes – only for yours to go wide with shock when you noticed the softness with which he gazed at you. You had been expecting revulsion, utter disdain. Not...this.
"You have nothing to apologize for," he murmured.
Your breath caught. You couldn't believe what you were hearing, and for a long moment, you gaped at him silently while your eyes searched his, looking for any indication that you had missed something. But the only thing you found was sincerity.
"H-how can you just...forgive me?" you gasped, barely able to from words.
Levi sighed, the sound quiet and sad, as if he hated to see you in so much pain. "There's nothing to forgive, (f/n), because I know I'm not just an object to you. We've been friends for years. You've taken the time to understand me like no one else has, and you clearly care about me as a person. And tonight..." Regret marred his features. "...you were scared, (f/n) – rightfully so. I wish I could have stopped it sooner, but I didn't, and...if thinking of me in that way helped you, then of course, I'm not upset."
Those words were like a balm to your battered heart. However, you couldn't let go of your guilt just yet. There was still one more layer he didn't know about – one that you were just starting to discover yourself.
Your gaze returned to the floor, and you swallowed against the nervous lump in your throat. "But..." you whispered, your voice so faint that it was barely audible, "what if...it wasn't just thoughts? What if I actually...wanted...to do those things with you? Would you still not be...upset?"
Levi's eyes widened. But in the next moment, he carefully slid to the ground, getting on his knees in front of you. His delicate, deft hands came to rest on the mattress, one on each side of your body, respectful enough not to touch without your permission. You were so surprised that you removed your gaze from the floor to stare at him, only to be stunned by the sight that greeted you.
His breathtaking, grey-blue orbs held a mix of nervousness and utter devotion. His brows were drawn and upturned in the middle, his cheeks flushed a warm pink. You had never imagined such a shy expression on his typically stoic face.
"No, I'm not upset," he murmured, trying so hard to keep his soft voice from shaking. "(F/n), I...I would do a-anything for you. Like I said, I know you care about me, and...I c-care about you too. I want you to use me – however you want. Even if it's...t-that...I would give you anything you asked for. And happily. I..." He trailed off, unsure of how to finish, not having the same eloquence that Erwin or some of the other officers did. However, the look in his eyes made it obvious that every word he had spoken was sincere.
Your breath caught, and your heart began to beat faster. "You'd do that for me?" you whispered.
He nodded. You watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed, and then he croaked, "Is t-that what you want? I...I don't have any e-experience, but if you t-tell me what to d-do..."
Warmth bloomed in your core at the sight of him on his knees before you, offering to please you in any way you desired. You may have been inexperienced yourself, but you had heard the other female soldiers talking, and you knew what kinds of things a man could do for a woman. You imagined those things now, instinctively knowing how good it would feel, and you slowly began to slip into desire's exquisite haze. Yes, you wanted all of it with Levi – the only man you would ever trust to see you exposed, to enter your most sacred areas, to take you all the way to heaven and bring you safely back.
You leaned forward, resting your forehead against his own, closing your eyes under the weight of passion that was almost overwhelming. Your breaths came shaky and shallow, but they still managed to fill your senses with his familiar yet intoxicating aroma – wrapping you in a cloud of forests and black tea and clean, crisp breezes. You were so close. With only the smallest movement from you, your lips would meet his.
However...you couldn't.
"Not tonight," you breathed, your eyes opening halfway to gaze at him.
As much as you wanted to, the mission had left you with too much emotional baggage – baggage that you didn't want to drag into your first time with Levi. Yes, he had assured you that you weren't dirty, assured you that he didn't blame you for thinking of him when you needed to, but the echoes of those things were still there. You needed a night to recover, and after that...well, you would see.
However, even though you didn't want to go all the way, you still needed some physical assurance to drive home his words, to let your body feel that it truly wasn't unclean. A detailed image filled your mind, but you felt embarrassed to ask for it, despite the fact that it was slightly less indecent than what he had offered to do.
You sat up straight, keeping your eyes averted from Levi as you did so. Heat filled your cheeks, and you bit your lip nervously. "Instead...um..." you mumbled.
Noticing your hesitancy, Levi reached up to lightly touch your cheek with his fingers, encouraging you to look at him. "You can tell me," he murmured, open and earnest despite his still-present shyness.
Unconsciously, you leaned into his soft touch. You nodded, then did your best to swallow your nerves. It was an effort to keep your eyes on his as you asked quietly, "Will you stay with me tonight? Just to sleep, I mean."
"Of course," he assured you, his fingers brushing small, soothing arches across your cheek – bolder now that he had ascertained that the contact was welcome, yet no less gentle.
You bit your lip. "And..." However, you stopped after that, feeling a fresh wave of nerves as your cheeks turned crimson.
"Go on," Levi encouraged.
You gulped. "C-can you...t-touch me where h-he did...j-just so...I know..." you stammered, your eyes darting to the side, no longer possessing the courage to look at him.
"Oh," he breathed. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see his blush deepen to match yours.
It was certainly an...unusual...request. However, you couldn't help feeling that it was what you needed. Because if Levi could put his hands directly on you, skin to skin, that would tell your body that it was still clean. And if he could replace the merchant's touch with his own...that might just be enough to prevent tonight's trauma from gaining a hold on you.
You opened your mouth to hastily assure him that he didn't have to, but before you could make a sound, he stuttered, "A-alright, then."
You glanced up at him, your eyes widening. Once again, you attempted to ask if he was sure about this, but he was already moving, climbing onto the bed next to you. Gently, he took your hand, ready to help you into his lap. However, he didn't pull you into him – not like that merchant pig did. Levi let you make the choice.
"Are you sure?" you whispered, gaping at him with doe eyes.
He nodded, his thumb brushing the back of your hand reassuringly. "I meant it when I said I would do anything for you," he stated with quiet sincerity. "And happily. You're g-gorgeous, (f/n), and the most incredible w-woman I've ever met. I'm honored that you would let me t-touch you."
Despite every horrible thing that had happened tonight, you smiled, feeling a tender warmth bloom inside your chest. His shyness, his innocence, the reverence with which he treated you – all of it served to solidify the trust and love you had for him. And it made you want to tell him just how much he meant to you.
"Before we do this," you murmured, your heart beating faster inside your chest, "I want you to know...it's not just a simple attraction for me, Levi. I...I love you."
Levi's breath caught. But then...words couldn't describe how beautiful he looked when his face lit up, showing you a smile that the rest of the world never got to see. "I l-love you too," he stuttered.
You squeezed his hand in acknowledgement, having already recognized the truth of his words before he spoke them. How could you not, when he had gone to such great lengths to protect and comfort you, when he had literally gotten on his knees and offered himself completely to your wishes? His love was apparent in every soft word, every devoted gaze. And you almost couldn't believe how lucky you were, to have received the precious gift of his heart.
You had no regrets as you slid yourself into his lap, signaling that you were ready.
Levi swallowed. Before he began, he took a second to breathe, setting aside his shyness. He knew that wasn't what you needed right now. Gentleness and respect, definitely – but not timidity. You needed a confident touch, one that reassured you, one that conveyed how clean and beautiful you were in his eyes.
He kept his gaze locked on yours as he slid his free hand around your waist – not forcing you to stay as the merchant had, but supporting you, giving you something to lean on. His eyes flicked down before returning to your own, a question in his grey orbs. You nodded, giving your permission for what came next, and only then did he release your hand, reaching down to instead cup your leg just above your knee.
Gently, he pulled your knee to his hip, and you felt the brush of cool air against your now-parted thighs. The towel actually worked quite well for this situation, given that it was just about as revealing as the dress you had worn earlier. However, while that outfit had been uncomfortable and slutty, you felt strangely relaxed in this white cotton. Perhaps it had to do with the man you were wearing it for.
Levi's eyes flicked to yours, silently asking if you were still okay with this. In response, you slid your arms around his neck, adding the finishing touch to the way you and the merchant had been tangled together in that booth. You were now so close that your lips nearly brushed, your heads tilting to opposite sides in order to avoid smashing your noses together.
Levi didn't need you to tell him what to do – he had seen enough of what went on in the club earlier. Remembering that fact sent a bolt of shame through you as Levi's thumb traced circles on your hip, but you reassured yourself with the fact that Levi was touching you right now, that he didn't think of you as dirty or blame you for what had happened. By the time his lips ducked down to meet your neck, all of those self-deprecating thoughts had vanished into dust.
You could feel his inexperience in the way his lips moved, but you didn't mind. In fact, you found it sweet. Unlike the merchant, unlike so many other men, Levi wasn't trying to take from you as he trailed kisses down your throat. Rather, he wanted to give you something – to give you safety and comfort and pleasure – even if he wasn't quite sure how. And in any case, his touch still caused those delightful butterflies to awaken inside your core.
The hand that had been on your waist slid up toward your chest, following the path the merchant had taken. However, Levi didn't touch anything that might be considered a sensitive area. He was respectful, just as you knew he would be. Meanwhile, his other hand stroked lightly along your inner thigh – not going much further up than your knee, but raising goosebumps all the same.
The combination of his fingers and his lips had your head tipping back, your eyelids fluttering closed. It was so similar to your earlier state that for a split second, you flashed back to that wretched booth. You were merely pretending that Levi was the one touching you, but in reality, you were being violated by a disgusting pig who only wanted to use you for his pleasure. Worse, the fate of the Scouts was resting on this, resting on your ability to allow this man to take you...
You nearly launched into a panic, until you realized that if you just looked a little deeper, this wasn't like the scene in the booth at all. Even when you were pretending that Levi was in the merchant's place, at some level, you had always been aware that Levi would never handle you with such intrusiveness, or with such little regard for your dignity. But now, you could feel Levi's care and respect laced into every reverent touch. This really was Levi holding you, and you were both in the familiar setting of your bedroom, with no prying eyes to witness your intimate acts.
You sighed, releasing all tension in your body except for the pleasant knot that had just started to form in your core. "Tell me...I'm a good girl," you instructed breathily, wanting him to overwrite the merchant's voice in your mind.
"You are," Levi purred between kisses, his breath hot and welcome against your skin. "Such a good girl."
The vibrations from those words traveled all the way down to your core. When you shivered, it wasn't from the cold. "Ask me..." You swallowed. "...if I'm enjoying this."
Levi paused, his lips lingering just below your jawline. "Are you enjoying this?" he murmured.
Unlike when the merchant asked, there was no arrogance in Levi's voice, no implication that he already knew the answer. Instead, his soft, low tones were attentive, earnestly wanting to know if you liked what he was doing, if you were comfortable, if he was meeting your needs. His genuine devotion to you made your heart feel so full that you couldn't stand it.
"Yes," you breathed, the word carrying a plea for him to continue.
He resumed his task of worshiping your skin with his lips – though his every touch made it clear that this wasn't an obligation to him, but an honor and a pleasure. You were well past shyness by this point, too wrapped up in the way he was making you feel. So you didn't think twice before reaching down to guide his hand further up your thigh.
Levi complied, stopping precisely where you told him to. When you let go, he made light strokes across your upper thigh, replacing the imprint of the merchant's grimy hands beneath your hemline with something purer and more intimate. Slowly but surely, he was making you feel clean.
Suddenly, you were overcome with the urge to cry. Each of these sensitive areas had been violated tonight, and the sensation of them being clean and desirable...after hours of feeling like they were slimy and ruined...like you were slimy and ruined...it was too much.
You threaded your fingers through Levi's silky black locks and pulled him away from your neck. As soon as you saw his lidded eyes – his pupils blown wide with adoration – you surged forward, your every nerve singing as you pressed your lips to his.
The kiss was a bit too forceful, and sloppy, but you couldn't help it. You needed him – needed to express how much you needed him, and how grateful you were for his love. You needed to feel his mouth on yours, soft and warm and exquisite.
Yet, in the back of your mind, you remembered that this was probably his first kiss, and so, you tried to be gentle, tried to take it slow. As much as you needed him to take care of you, you also wanted to take care of him. He was everything to you – a king, a treasure, a friend, a home – and you wanted him to feel that.
Levi met you there, kissing you back without any hesitation. He may have been inexperienced, but he didn't let that stop him. He was determined to give you whatever you needed, whatever you wished. On top of that, he had been dreaming of this moment for so long, and now that you were actually here, embracing him with such unbridled love and longing, he wanted nothing more than to cherish the taste of your lips – again and again and again.
It took both of you a long time to catch your breath after you parted. Faces flushed, foreheads resting against each other, stomachs tingling, eyes heavy-lidded. But eventually, your heartbeats slowed, and your heads stopped feeling quite so light.
In that moment, you leaned in to press one last kiss to Levi's lips – soft and chaste – expressing your gratitude for everything he had done tonight. You knew how difficult it must have been for him to let his guard down, because the world had hurt him too many times already. Yet, from the moment he stepped into your bedroom, he had exposed his vulnerabilities in order to meet you in your own, to heal wounds that would have otherwise shattered you. To him, you were worth the risk. And because of him, you now believed you were.
As promised, Levi spent the night with you. After a quick foray to his bedroom for the purpose of changing into more casual (and clean) clothing, he returned – you yourself having taken the opportunity to slip into pajamas while he was gone. The two of you cuddled together under the covers, and you nestled your face into his neck, breathing in his familiar aroma. As that relaxing scent enveloped you, so did his arms, which tucked you in close and comforted you with their protection.
When you fell asleep shortly thereafter, your dreams were filled with black tea and night skies, and a man who loved you with all his heart.