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The third circle of hell is reserved for the gluttonous. It's punishment involves an icy, slush filled, freezing rain.
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"Brenna." I groan, knowing what waking up could mean. Yet again, over and over, we've been doing this, but dare I say it, I'm tired. I need a break. "Come on, darling, time to get up."
"Please don't make me do you first thing in the morning, not again, please."
Felix rolls over and puts on his glasses, laughing a bit. I stay put. Hopefully this means he'll calm down some. We've been sailing now for a while, and must be near the New York harbour, since I can hear the faint sounds of seagulls outside. Thank. God. The air feels cold though, and the slight twinge of longing I felt for summer passed with the gusts of wind rocking the ship in the shallow waters.
"I do believe we're finished with that bit now." He laughs again, more so this time. "You don't have to be afraid of continuous frenzied intimacy anymore." I exhale, then roll over, stretch and rub my eyes.
"Praise Christ." Despite my sarcasm, I smile at him, eagerly anticipating what he's about to say. We both pick up on the sound of more people leaving their cabins, going up to the main deck, to greet the new day and fresh city. I resist the urge to race up myself and run off into the American crowds, the city streets, the freedom that comes with the spangled stars of the United States, but I wait for further instructions. I can't be too hasty, though I'd like total control. These past few days have taught me that.
Felix smiles. "You're eager, Brenna." That's it?
"Of course I am." I laugh. "I told you that I've always dreamed of coming to the States." I lean over and place my head on Felix's chest, another impromptu act of affection. "Thank you, Felix. for bringing me here."
Felix feels hot, again a successful tool against the cold. "You're going to adore what I have planned for tonight. I know how much you love to eat."
"I'm not hungry!" I reply loudly. "I want to travel around, go see the museums, the park! I don't want to sit in a pub and eat and drink when there's so much to do! I'd hate to miss out on-" I stop. Felix is looking at me with a mix of what looks like anger, regret and annoyance.
"Damn." I forgot. Felix gets to call the shots this entire trip. We did the fun stuff. Now comes the scary, evil parts that I have to deal with to cleanse myself of the contract. I have to burn here before I can be reborn from the ashes. "No." I fake a smile. "I love food! Let's eat!"
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After an irritatingly cumbersome hustle to get off the ship and into the city, Felix and I check into an ostentatious, expensive and conspicuous hotel, and ready ourselves to take on Manhattan.
"Are you using a shower?" I knock fervently on the heavy door that frames the exit point to our main bedroom. "Even we don't have one of those!"
"Leave me alone!" I hear a shout. He mocks me. "I'm new to this." I grow irritated. "I want to enjoy such a luxury."
"All alone?" I try to sound as beguiling as possible.
"Yes. It's compact. You wouldn't fit in here."
"You're cruel! I hate you!"
He laughs, loud enough to notify the other guests of our arrival, and I let out an annoyed sigh, before trekking over to the ottoman in the center of the spacious suite. I plop down, and it shakes with my gesture. Finally, I hear the water shut off and the sound of dripping feet pacing across tile. The door swings open and Felix leans in.
"My darling, beautiful, angel of a wife, could you assist your husband with something?" He blinks at me, theatrically, expectantly. Again, he mimicks me, before gesturing, signaling I should get up and provide assistance. I come over, stifling a laugh. It's actually funny.
I raise an eyebrow. "What, Felix?"
He points. On the vanity rests a stack of incredibly small towels, no bigger than a kettle. There's not a single one large enough to cover a full gown human being seeking refuge from an indecent state. "We haven't got any person sized amenities. He grows a bit more annoyed. "We paid a ludicrous amount of money to stay here!" He actually sounds mad. Why does he care? What is human currency to him? He composes himself. "I know of several colleagues of mine who would find this inexcusable."
I raise my eyebrows, genuinely surprised. Felix has definitely never mentioned any other demons. Ever. I thought it was some sort of unspoken rule that you don't give away valuable information on competitors. "Colleagues?"
He pats my head. "I'll get dressed. Put in a request for more towels."
"What colleagues?" I still want to know about others. Do they break deals? To know about other manners of how this whole thing works out would ease my stress a bit- to understate it.
"Fine." Felix snatches up several of the small, useless cloths and pats himself dry, then ties a robe around himself. He then leads me over to his luggage and yanks out a ledger booklet. He flips though until he finds a page with several very very attractive men, all raven haired, all with piercing eyes, all who are obviously not the typical employees of the upper-crust society I've been welcomed into of late. He points at one. "Sebastian Michaelis."
"What?" I laugh. "Are you serious?"
"Very." Felix raises an eyebrow. "What about this would lead you to believe I am lying?"
"Sébastien Michaelis was a French inquisitor. The Grand Inquisitor of Avignon in the late sixteenth and early seventeenth centuries. He definitely is not a demon."
"That was the name given to him by the boy that he entered into a contract with. You know him." I shake my head, walking over to the nearby sofa.
"I certainly do not know anyone who would do that. Not personally, at least."
He continues. "Yes you do." He pauses, clearly for dramatic effect. "Ciel Phantomhive." He smirks and sits down beside me.
"Wait, Ciel did that?" I'm shocked. I do know him. Everyone knows about him, at least, in the society I'm now a part of. I suppose it could be possible, in a way. The reputation of the Phantomhive household is a darker, more secretive one. His inner circle is impenetrable.
"That makes sense." I pause after mulling it over. "Wait, I didn't give you your name. You just told me what to call you. Was I supposed to name you? Like some dog, some pet?"
He exhales and turns to face me directly. "Not all demons work the same." He points to the book once more. "You'll find out."
"What's that supposed to mean?" He gets up, leaving the diary behind, and extends his hand. I stand up, too, and take it.
"You know that we have a lot in common, Sebastian and I." Felix states, evading answering me directly. "He fell, in a way, for his master."
"What?" I scoff. "No way. He's just a kid. Even if he's not conventional in his choices, even if he likes men, that's far too young to do what...we do."
Felix narrows his eyes at me and shakes his head. "No, not like that. Sebastian is not in any way erotically enamoured with the Earl. He, well he fell for his soul."
"How do you know?" I mirror his gesture. My eyes narrow as well.
Felix relaxes, and tries to find the right words. "When someone's soul is of a certain caliber, like yours-" Felix takes my hand. I don't stop him. "It makes us do things we normally wouldn't. The vast majority of human souls are crass, dark, boring. Yet a few of them are pure and riveting." He pauses. "I'm surprised he didn't go for you."
"He never met me. Does...your kind-" I pause. That might be offensive. "Do you, and other demons make multiple deals at once? Can you have different contracts, simultaneously?"
"It's common, but not in this case, so I've learned." He laughs.
"What?'" I am thoroughly confused now. "Why are you laughing?" I shake my head and he steps away from me. I'm totally at a loss.
"We're all in competition with each other. I assumed it would be preferable, but I actually heard form him, surprisingly." He stops laughing, and cocks his head to the side. He looks both agreeable, cute even, and perhaps a bit crazy. "He congratulated me on my deal with you."
Now I laugh. It's odd, but I can't stop. Eventually, I have to hold myself up. Felix no more than stares at me for the several awkward minutes it takes for me to calm down. "So, based on all this-" I gesture around me. "That schedule, the other ethereally beautiful men in that thing-" I point to the book resting beside us. "Is it unreasonable to suggest that countless demons work as husbands, or employees or colleagues or business partners and lawyers and...maids and footmen and whatever in England? Is this what the world is now!?" I exhale, putting a hand to my head.
Felix steps towards me, and places a hand on my shoulder. "No." He smiles. "But it does help to find a good black butler." He smiles, and kisses me once on the cheek. "Now, let's go. It's time for round two."
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Felix and I walk through the streets of the city center, the ice beneath our feet so thick that I slip several times. There is freezing rain coming down, so my umbrella is thick and stiff.
"I still don't get it. " I mumble. "You said we'd be going somewhere warm." I huff. "Also, I don't understand. Do you think Sebastian did what you did? Do you think he'll still...eat...Ciel?"
"I must admit, we don't agree on everything." Bypassing my question entirely, he continues. "For example, we have one huge disagreement. I adore dogs, hate cats. He's the opposite." Felix opens the door to a traditionally decorated Irish pub, The Ship and Anchor, and gestures me inside.
On the several long tables, there's a ridiculous quantity of alcohol, wine, champagne, ale and spirits, far too much for one person, alongside meats, pastries, teas and countless other delicacies. I have no idea how I am supposed to manage this. Next to the array of food, there are several large cushioned areas with low resting oriental tables, with clearly visible bottles, candles and matches set out.
"This isn't a pub, is it?" I veer around.
"No, actually. Just the outside." He smiles, closing his eyes. "The inside is an opium den."
"I don't do drugs!" I almost scream. I don't want to do this.
"We'll be spending the night here. You won't want to move too much after."
"Will I get addicted to this stuff, Felix?" I can't breathe. I'm more afraid of this then I am of him. It's somewhat pitiful, but I know what these places do to people.
"Nope." I exhale. That's good. I relax a little. "This will feel good, Brenna." He holds out his hand. "I promise." I smile and take it as he leads me further into the rooms, sitting down beside me on an ornate green sofa. "Oh, just to let you know, Sebastian actually does an incredible job of luring women into places like this. The speeches he gave were unreal, heavily sensual, tempting beyond belief."
"So he's better than you." I joke, nudging him. He rolls his eyes.
"No, I just don't pander to fools, and neither does his Master. I'm sure he'd laugh to see Sebastian do that." He smiles. "I cater to a higher clientele. Only the best of women for me." He wraps his arm around me, and passes me a weird silver pipe. I'm still afraid, but I promised I'd do what he said. I take it.
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Late into the night, after we've indulged in a way that makes my heart sick, knowing there are people like my family at the end, back in Ireland, starving, dying, alone and cold, I sleep again, safe, secure, lucky and happy, with Felix's arms around me. We are somewhere warm. Everywhere I go with him, in spite of the cold, I end up comfortable and protected. I think about what he noted before, that not all demons work the same way, and wonder if there were others who tried to do what they perceived to be the correct course of action, perhaps even for some noble purpose, but the likelihood of that is abysmally low. I know that much.
"Does Sebastian know you broke our deal?" I speak, waking up almost at once, not caring if I rouse Felix. I know his need for sleep is minimal. It represents a luxury for him, not a requirement.
"None of us are supposed to get involved in the deals of others." He answers indirectly.
"But you broke it. There's no deal left to get involved in. If I'm so tempting and rare, then what's stopping someone like him from finding me?"
"WHY in the world would it matter? It's your choice if you even want to acknowledge his existence at all. Plus, like I said, he's satisfied. He's got the Earl Phantomhive. I told you that. He doesn't want to enter into any other contracts." He pats my head. "Go back to sleep." I don't.
"I heard what you said on the ship, Felix." I whisper it, even though no one else would hear us, I still fear judgement. It was unexpected, surely. Even with everything that's happened, it shook me.
"What was that?" He leans back. In the light of the low-burning lamps, the soft indigo of his eyes catches fire, shimmering in the darkness. I hold my breath before replying.
"That you love me." I exhale, elaborating. "I know sometimes, that's said after people do what we did, that they don't mean it. The heat of the moment leads to it being a later regret, but I...I..." I stop. He's smiling.
"I meant it, Brenna."
I throw my arms around his neck, and kiss him. It's the greatest sensation yet, the best feeling I've ever known. Wordlessly, it continues, and I can't stop myself from hoping for another miracle.
By the end of this whole trip, this whole fulfillment of our sins, maybe God can grant me one final wish, or even, maybe I can make it happen on my own. In some way, maybe, in some lucky shot in the dark, I can figure out a way to make sure Felix doesn't leave me. I don't know how, I don't know by what means, but if anything, it's what I desire most of all. We love each other. What purpose could that serve other than some greater furthering of a noble, purifying divinity?