A couple of hours later, I was sitting in Jordan's car staring at the tall buildings of the city, thinking about everything. He texted me a while ago saying they were heading home, Nia isn't as upset as she was when I left but is still wanting to know what was going on.
What's there to tell her? I'm fucked up, I think I'm weak because my father told me that every day for years. How's she supposed to excuse my behaviour for that kind of explanation, I just sound dramatic.
But I'm not telling her everything, there's no fucking way. Some things are better left unsaid, brushed under the rug and never brought up again. Most of the memories were in that department. I couldn't tell her about them.
I heard a car pull up beside me, the person's car door opening and closing with a hard slam. Then they knocked on the door. I looked up, shocked to see Kara standing outside the window, waiting for me to unlock the door. I couldn't tell if she was angry, her face was void of emotion.
She pulled on the handle, gesturing for me to unlock the door. I was frozen and kind of scared, what was she going to do? When I took too long, she rolled her eyes and grabbed a thick coat from her car, not hesitating to break the window in.
"Fucking bitch." I muttered, throwing my hands up in annoyance. I quickly turned the car alarm off, watching as she unlocked and opened the door, taking her sweet ass time to clean off all of the glass shards laying on the car seat and sat down with an evil smirk on her face.
"What the fuck are you doing?" I looked away, continuing to admire the sight in front of me.
"It's chilly in here, can you roll the window up? Oh, wait." She laughed her ass off at that one. I looked at her, mocking her laugh to which she dropped the smile, refraining herself from smacking me on the head.
"Shut the fuck up." She said, but there was something different about the way she was speaking. I heard the pity, I'm not stupid. What did Jordan tell her?
I rolled my eyes, "What do you want? How'd you even find me?"
She smiled, "I saw you text Jordan where you were after he told you we were done training. He and Nia are watching a movie. I got the chance and slipped away."
"Why?" I shrugged.
She glared, "I swear Callum, just take my kindness for the next few minutes. I just wanna talk, decide if your actions can be justified or not. As Nia's best friend, I have every right to know how you, the man she somehow fell in love with, are planning on taking care of her and making her happy. Who knows, maybe that's not even your plan, you might just kick her to the curb, right?"
"Wrong. I'd never do that." I muttered.
"Well, that's so reassuring, thank you." She raised her voice, sounding cheerful.
"Kara, you need to get the fuck out of this car." I threatened.
"Yeah, whatever." She ignored me, "What's going on?"
"What are you talking about?"
"What's going on with you? Why did you storm into the warehouse without Nia, why'd you leave the warehouse with Jordan all sweaty with tears in your eyes, why'd you ignore Nia when she called you over-"
"Okay, okay, calm the fuck down!" I glared at her, "I had a panic attack, got angry and took it out on her. Jordan told me to clear my head, that's what I'm doing."
"I'm not asking you to narrate it, you fucking dick. I asked you why? Why did you get angry?" She completely ignored the panic attack part as if it wasn't embarrassing. She just learned a guy like me had a panic attack and wasn't questioning it as if people go through this on a daily basis.
No, guys like me, men like me have to be tough. Brush our feelings under the rug and move on. But I'm not a man. Well, not the man father wants me to be, that's for sure.
"I was just thinking about some stuff, Kara." I placed my arms on the steering wheel, resting my head on top of them with my eyes closed. "I fucked up, I know. I don't need you to curse me out for it, I love her more than you do. You can think whatever you want, that I'm not good for her, she deserves better, I know, I fucking know. But I'm trying to fix it, I just needed some space."
"Callum." I opened my eyes, shocked by the sudden gentleness of her voice calling me and looked at her. Her eyes studied my face, thinking before she finally spoke. "I can't even imagine how much shit you were put through to be this damaged."
She took a deep breath and continued, "You aren't good for her, she does deserve better."
I nodded.
"I wasn't finished." My ears perked at that, "She isn't good for you either. Neither one of you are good for each other." She shook her head, "But you aren't bad for each other either and I feel like a relationship like yours is something to treasure and never let go of."
I turned my body, giving her my full attention. "You guys fight, cheat, manipulate so much I even feel hurt by it." She laughed, "But then you somehow come back stronger than before, you beat the odds no matter what and she needs someone like that. You accept her flaws and she accepts yours with open arms and I don't know why you can't see that by now, but I'm not going to put the blame on you because if someone as amazing as Jordan still has your back, it must not be your fault."
"That doesn't mean I won't beat the fuck out of you every time you hurt her feelings, Callum." She joked, I didn't smile and she sighed with eyes full of pity.
"I care about you, I've seen the side you rarely show. Nia understands why you don't show it, she sees how complex this life is, trust me. But if you don't talk to her, show her your vulnerability from time to time and lend her a hand to crack those big ass walls of yours," She took in a breath of air, "You will be nothing but miserable in the future because neither of you will leave each other. You'll stay by each other's sides without hesitation and live through the pain instead of finding a solution because it's easier, it'll let you stay in your happy little bubble you're so obsessed with."
We stayed silent after that, staring at the scenery ahead.
"I have to let her go," I murmured. "She won't be happy with me, it won't last."
"If that's what you want." Kara shrugged carelessly, "I've been waiting. Now she can leave you and get with men who will actually care for her."
I tightened my grip on the steering wheel, my knuckles turning white, rings feeling ten times tighter around my fingers. "You didn't have to say it out loud."
"I did because from the way you act when even thinking about her with other guys, it seems like you don't actually believe that. We both know it's a lie, she wouldn't be happier with anyone else. Just talk to her, Rivera, talk. Say what comes to mind, show her your feelings through words, not touches. As long as you keep that up, everything should come together soon enough and you'll be happier than you can imagine."
Then she snorted, "Goddamn, you guys are already inseparable. Imagine if you both were normal, how much better it would be."
I shook my head, "I like it this way. Normal's boring. If we were normal, our love for each other wouldn't be this intense. Neither would our family's bond, our loyalty, why do you think Jordan and I are so close?"
"Family, huh?" She teased.
I rolled my eyes, "Shut up, I wasn't talking about you anyway. Go home, I'll get us food."
She nodded with a smile on her face while I fought hard to hold mine back.
She's alright, I guess. Sometimes.
Twenty minutes later, I walked through the front door and gave Mary her food. She thanked me and bid me a good night, heading over to her part of the house. After giving Kara and Jordan theirs, Jordan pulled me away for a little talk telling me the last he saw Nia, she was in the bar grabbing a bottle of wine.
Knowing her, she was probably drowning her sorrows away, holding the bottle in her hand half-empty while watching another Disney movie.
I thanked him for taking care of her while I was gone and he punched me, saying it was for all the punches I gave him today. I let it slide and walked out of their hallway and into mine and Nia's. The room was empty and Miles lay asleep on the floor, legs and arms spread out, probably tired out from today's training.
I placed the food down on Nia's bedside table, my heart thumping in my chest while taking my sweet time walking towards the bathroom, the muffled sound of the jacuzzi being filled up sounding in my ears.
When I walked in, she was sitting there in a bubble bath. In one hand she had the wine bottle, less than half empty. But my face contorted in confusion when I looked at the other hand that held a cigarette. She brought it towards her mouth, taking in a ton of smoke with a deep inhale, then threw her head back and let it out slowly, her chest lifting out of the water showcasing her tits from the movement.
"Goddamn," I breathed out in a mere whisper, the sight so breathtakingly hot, so beautiful and flawless that I had to adjust my desperate cock inside my pants, the tip begging for release.
She looked over at me, eyes bloodshot and empty with no emotion behind them until she saw my face. They lit up with happiness, an excited gasp leaving her lips. An endless amount of love radiated off of her the closer I got, her body begging for me to get closer until I finally sat down on the three-step staircase leading into the tub of hot water.
She set the bottle down and carefully placed the cigarette in an ashtray I recognized as my mother's. I ignored the sting in my chest, turning my head to look at her with my elbows resting on my knees. She got on her knees, moving to the edge closest to me and used her hands to lift herself out of the water.
I licked my lips, my eyes flickering over her body, the top of her pussy peeking out of the water while the rest was blurred from the ripples in the water going off with every movement she made around her. She almost stumbled, obviously drunk but was able to reach high enough to my nose and kissed it.
"Boop." She giggled. I smiled, placing my finger on her jaw and pulled her closer to me, kissing her lips softly, revelling in the way fire ignited inside of me, covering every inch of my body and heating up more and more the longer her skin was against mine.
Whether it was her lips against mine, her fingers interlocked with my own, the feeling of her thumb caressing the back of my hand, it didn't matter. It all caused a sickening feeling to erupt inside me and build up more and more the longer I stayed with her. At first I hated the feeling, I despised it when we first touched, first met. But now I love it, it makes me want to live.
Love.
"You okay?" I asked, pulling away. She whined at the loss of contact.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" She slurred, losing her strength and bringing herself to lay down in the jacuzzi again, playing with the bubbles around her until she got bored and picked up the cigarette.
"Since when do you smoke, baby?" I tilted my head curiously, getting up and stripping out of my shirt.
"I've done it a couple of times here and there. Can I get this, it's on sale?" Her voice pleaded as if I'd say no. I turned around, looking at her phone screen where three thousand dollars worth of stuff she added to her bag from this random clothing store sat.
I chuckled, knowing she'd frantically apologize in the morning for spending so much money and nodded, "Buy whatever you want."
"Thank you." She smiled, scrunching up her nose as she finalized the order, setting her phone down and sighing happily.
Happily? It's probably in your head. She's not happy as long as she's with you.
I ignored the voice in my head and finished taking my clothes off, stepping into the water and laying across from her while she watched with hooded eyes, keeping her eyes on my torso and anything lower.
"Come here," I ordered. She blinked her red eyes then looked at my own and obeyed, reaching out to place her hands on my knees and sat down on my lap. "Give me one." I gestured to the cigarette. She turned around and grabbed one of the new ones as well as the lighter sitting beside it.
I kept my eyes on her, keeping it between my mouth while her nervous hand brought the lighter to the end of it, avoiding my eyes as she lit it. I slowly took in the smoke, almost immediately relaxing as it crept into my lungs, filling them up before I brought the stick in between my fingers and pulled it out.
The smoke covered my view of the beautiful sight in front of me for a moment. I chuckled as she fanned it away, looking at the ashtray while tapping the burnt end on it before bringing my attention back onto her.
Then I brought the cigarette in between us, thinking for a moment as my chest pained at the memory. It's a good place to start, she's drunk it's not like she'll remember any of this tomorrow anyway.
"When I misbehaved as a kid." I started, breathing heavily when my eyes made contact with hers. She listened closely, like always, as I continued. "If I pushed my parents too far, like not training hard enough, annoying them too much that day or my presence just annoying them more than they could take for that day, my dad would call me and my mom into his room."
I threw the thing back into the tray, barely able to look at it as I forced myself to keep going. "At first I was excited, thinking they finally wanted to spend some time all together. No, my dad called me in there for punishment." I shook my head, laughing with no humour, "He'd have my mom hold my arms down while laying on my stomach across their bed while he lit one for himself."
She nodded, telling me to go on. "The second I'd finally calmed down, thinking he was just trying to scare me, he'd put the bud on my back, let the heat from the fire burn into my skin while I screamed. I begged him to stop, yelled out for help, screamed and cried while he told me how weak I was. I couldn't even take a few burns, fucking pathetic."
Pitiful tears filled her eyes to the brim, "I'm so sorry, Callum." She hiccupped.
I shook my head, "For what? Were you the one holding me down? Did you burn me?"
She shook her head and I shrugged, "Don't apologize then."
"Okay." She wiped the tears, turning around and grabbing the wine from behind her. I bit down on my lip, fisting my hands at the sight of her ass rising out of the water, her pussy in full view as droplets of water and bubbles covered her skin.
I quickly diverted my eyes, grabbed the cigarette again and took another puff. She turned back to me, straddling me as the throbbing tip of my cock pressed against her warm, soft thigh.
"When I," I paused, catching my breath that felt like it was being snatched away from me again like earlier. "When I panicked today, it was because I heard my father's voice again, inside my head telling me how weak I was, how I needed to be a man."
She didn't respond and I continued. "And then you were telling me you could drive, I wasn't in the right state of mind to be driving and I snapped at you even though you were right because he was telling me not to let a girl-woman dictate what I do. I can't let a woman dominate me, I have to be in control, that's what he told me." My chest felt heavy, I felt so incredibly vulnerable, so weak at that moment.
But then she placed her hands on my cheeks, cupping my face with her tiny hands and caressing my skin with her thumb. She looked more sobered up, more alert and focused than she did when I first walked in.
"Every day, you amaze me more and more." She whispered, eyes flickering between my own as they glazed over. "You're putting all of this pressure on yourself, you think you're horrible but have you not noticed how much you've grown in the past few months?"
I was taken aback, thinking she would give me the same lecture everyone else had given me today.
"You are opening up to me, baby. Slowly but surely, you are and I can see it." She sniffled, "I'm so sorry for what your father did to you." She placed her forehead against mine, her hands now at the back of my head, tightening their hold on my hair to pull me closer.
Mine grabbed her waist, pulling her flush against me. Her chest pressed against mine, her lips puckering up to touch mine. I smiled against them as she gave light, feathered kisses sending what felt like electric shocks through my body each time she came back, moving to my cheek and then my forehead.
"I love you for who you were, who you will be and who you are now, no matter what." She said, "It may make me upset, but if I were the type to end things over you snapping at me once in a while, that alone should tell you this wouldn't be worth it." She laughed, wiping her eyes.
I was about to disagree but she held her hand up, silencing me. "If I didn't see how much you've improved, how much you've tried with me when you didn't have to, I would react differently. But this is a once in a while thing now," She paused and let out a burp. "Excuse me. The only reason I was upset was because of your panic attack, I felt sad for you and when you didn't let me help you, I felt hurt."
"I know, I'm sorry, I'll work on that." I nodded.
"And what exactly are you working on?" She tested. "Letting you comfort me when I have vulnerable moments, don't listen to my deceased father's voice inside my head, try not to snap at you when-"
"Okay, one at a time." She cut me off, smiling down at me. I watched as she turned around, now laying with her back resting on my chest, chugging down another gulp of wine. "You want?"
"Sure." I sighed, brushing my hair back with my hand, my core becoming tense when the red liquid was poured onto my neck, down to my chest. I raised an eyebrow, giving her a stern look while she looked back at me, eyes wide with an o-shaped mouth.
"Clean it up." I snatched the bottle from her, taking some down. She licked her lips then started at my neck. I threw my head back, letting myself enjoy the pleasure of her soft lips licking and sucking on my skin.
A groan left my mouth when she sank her teeth into my skin as she moved down, her tongue gliding across until all of the wine was cleaned off. A smirk crawled onto her face when she stopped, admiring the hickey's probably left behind.
"Bruises are so pretty." She whispered, placing her fingers on my neck, pushing down as I grunted in pain. I was shocked to see some blood on her fingers when she put them in front of my face and licked it off with her tongue.
"You're fucking insane." I held her hips with a tight grip.
"I know. And my sanity is slipping further each day." She smirked, leaning in and pressing her lips against mine as she ground her hips against my length.
"Fuck me." I groaned, pulling her hair back to allow myself access to her neck. I dived in, kissing and sucking, biting hard as she cried out in pain, the sound only making me harder.
When I finished my assault on her skin, I licked my lips, studying the bite marks, bruises, some parts bleeding. She shook in my arms and I hadn't even touched her pussy yet.
"You needy slut. I haven't even touched your clit, haven't fucked your hole and you're already shaking." I laughed, teasing her.
She ignored me, rubbing herself against my tip eliciting a groan from my mouth. "Look at you, fucking whore. Can't last one day without some dick, can you?"
"No, sir." She fastened her pace, my tip repeatedly brushed her slit, oozing with wetness even though we were under the water. It splashed as her movements got sloppier, more needy and desperate.
"Fuck, you're so hot." I pulled her down, our hot breaths mixing together from how close her lips were to mine. "Just like that, baby, you look so good riding me like that."
"Oh, yes." She threw her head back, holding my shoulders as her core tensed underneath my finger caressing her stretch marks, loving the feeling underneath the pad of my thumbs.
"Such a good girl. Yeah, that's it. Take it, you slut." My abs tensed when I felt her release, letting out shrieks of pleasure as I forced her to keep grinding against me.
"I'm going to come inside you," I told her. She nodded and I slipped myself inside. At first, her hole was extremely tight and she pulled away, the sensation too much to handle. But I forced her down to the base, slamming into her from below with hard, quick thrusts and she started to find pleasure overtaking the pain.
As she rode out her third orgasm, I released inside of her, groaning while sucking on her tits, licking and enjoying the soft feeling of her skin and the unforgettable pleasure of holding her nipple between my teeth, listening to the way it would bring her to the edge within a minute and have her a quivering mess on top of me.
I pulled the plug out of the jacuzzi, letting the water drain and picked her up while still inside her, wanting to see the way my come oozed out of her hole.
"Let's see, spread those legs, gorgeous." I placed her on the counter. She spread her legs, smiling while spreading her pussy's lips and pushing my seed out with a moan. "I can't wait for you to have my babies," I smirked, pulling her into me for a hug.
She squirmed from the sensitivity pulsing against her clit when I cleaned her up, snuggling into me as I prepared her toothbrush. We looked at each other, not able to hold back the laughs that came out, spraying foam from the toothpaste on each other's faces then laughed even harder.
"Oh, shit." I dropped her onto the bed after we finished getting ready for bed, realizing we hadn't eaten yet.
"What?" She turned to look behind her at the bag left on her table, Miles sitting beside it and watching it as if waiting for it to move so he could attack.
"We didn't eat." I moved her over to her side and got in beside her. "Are you hungry?"
She shook her head, now tired out from the alcohol and the hot fuck we had just minuted before. "I ate a little while ago anyway."
I lifted her shirt, feeling her stomach and shook my head. "Give me the bag, you don't feel full enough."
"That doesn't even make sense." She said but reached for the bag anyway. I ignored her and opened up the container of spicy grilled chicken I ordered for her.
"Here." I stabbed a piece with the plastic fork and raised it up to her mouth. She took the bite, chewing while glaring at me like I killed her father.
You did, dumbass.
We sat in bed eating, talking, laughing about nothing and I couldn't help but smile at the thought of her. She's right next to me, she's my girlfriend, my girl, mine. She's mine and I was about to let that go over some words my father planted in my head? Over some evil man who was still after me after all these years?
He was trying to find every opportunity, every reason to come after me and he finally got it. That was easy to do when I was a kid, a weak, manipulated, abused child who deserved anything other than what he got.
Now I'm stronger, tougher, I have people with me, family. I have my family who have my back, they won't leave. She won't leave. She promised she wouldn't.
And I believe her.