Salaam! AHHHH in honor of chapter 50, the writing style is going to be a little different in this chapter. I used to write a lot of books this way and was missing the format. So here is something different for today! Lol I hope you like it! Stay awesome! :)
How perfectly fitting that the rain would choose today of all days to flow along the windowsill like the most agonizing of tears. Perhaps she would not have paid notice to it any other day if Houssam had not departed to New York at this very moment. She was trying so hard not to allow him entrance into her mind, for it was like tearing open a wound just as it was on the cusp of healing. But she also couldn’t deny herself the privilege of thinking of him. He consumed her every thought, and she had been distant and withdrawn lately. She didn’t like being overcome to such a degree by him, especially when he wasn’t even there anymore, and she hoped that InshaAllah she would be able to recover soon. She didn’t need this feeling of loneliness and heartache that threatened to break her.
“Hana? Habibti?”
She looked up at the tap on her bedroom door, and as her Mother’s face came into view, she beckoned her forward.
“Yes Mama?”
“How are you doing habibti?”
She smiled softly as if to convey the sentiments she couldn’t express in words.
“I’m okay.”
Her mother, sensing that all was not well, pulled her into a tight embrace, only to peer anxiously into her face once she had relinquished her hold.
“Are you in pain?”
Oh how her heart was in agony!
“No more than usual.” Was her reply, and while she attempted to sound carefree, there is no way to escape the knowing heart of your mother.
“You’re thinking of Houssam.”
It was not meant as a question, but as a statement said from someone who knew something for a fact.
“I haven’t been able to stop.” She whispered, and to her dismay she felt her cheeks quickly become damp under the flow of tears she had been unable to stop ever since he had gone back to LA. His parting words had been just as excruciating as they were heartwarming, and she could not have forgotten them if she had tried.
It is not fair for me to ask of you to wait. I can only imagine the life I would prevent you from living if you were to stay waiting. But know that if, when I return, you have not had your heart taken by someone else, I am yours. I am yours heart and soul.
Those words were now engraved to such a permanent degree on her heart, that it was almost painful.
He had left her after expressing his last sentiments, the lingering doubts in his eyes, the hesitation in his stance as if all he wanted to do was throw himself into her embrace and remain there forever. However she could not keep him, no matter how desperately she wanted to, and sooner than she was prepared for, he was gone.
She had cried.
She would not deny it. She had cried into the chest of her little niece who while she did not understand what truly had happened, she felt the gravity of it in the sense that her Amu Houssam was gone, and her Amtu was left in tears. She did not need to be an adult to put two and two together. To realize that whatever they had had between them, would be no more.
“Habibti, I can’t stand to see you hurting over him. You told him to go.”
As if she needed reminding. As if she needed her mother to point out that she had practically begged him to leave her. It had been her doing and hers alone. But perhaps it was better this way. For if she had asked him to stay, and he refused, she would know that there was no true affection on his part. This way, with her encouragement being the foundation of his departure, she could still hold onto the flicker of hope that while he had gone to chase after his dream, he had left his heart behind.
“I know. I will be okay. I just need time to get over it.”
To get over him?
Impossible.
It had been her deepest wish for years upon years to be able to call him hers, and now that she had been so close, it would never lessen her affection towards him. Perhaps she would heal, perhaps she would be able to move on. But he would always be the love that she had always known.
“I hope so. It isn’t right for someone to be hurting this much! You worry me.”
“How so?”
“You aren’t acting like you anymore. You’re just acting heartbroken and sad. Do your father and I need to be concerned?”
She shook her head.
“No. I will recover soon enough, you will see. He has only been gone for four days. It is still fresh. Just give me some time.”
Her mother nodded before pulling a small package from the folds of her apron.
“This just came in the mail today for you. I will leave you to open it alone.”
After placing a kiss on her daughter’s head, her mother departed, leaving her to stare anxiously at the unmarked package.
There was no return address nor a sender. Her address was written in a hand that looked like it was in a vast hurry, and as she opened the box, a simple sheet of paper fell out, depicting two words.
Two simple words that cut her to her very core.
Dearest Heart
She eagerly tore into the wrappings, and as the papers fell away to reveal the gift hidden inside, she put a hand to her mouth with a gasp.
For in the folds of the package, was a state of the art top of the line, telephoto lens.
***
As the pilot announced their arrival time as closing in on fifteen minutes, Houssam put his chair in the upright position, gathered up the trash that had collected over the five hour flight, and after handing it to the passing stewardess, he turned his attention to the window. He could briefly make out New York through the white sea of the clouds that arrested his view, and he felt a small tremble of anxiety in the pit of his stomach. Surprisingly it was not musings and fears of a new home and team that had kept him occupied through the whole flight. But it was the departing look on Hana’s face as he had left her side days before that haunted him. Her eyes, her beautiful brown eyes filled to the brim with unshed tears.
Tears that she had been resisting because of him.
It had taken everything in his power not to delicately take her face in his hands and say farewell in a way where there would be no doubt as to the agony he was feeling in being away from her. So far the distance between them had only served to make him yearn for her. It had not clarified any feelings as his brother had promised.
But now, as John F. Kenney airport was beginning to come into view, the fluttering in his stomach was becoming intensified by the second, and he knew this time it was due to his new surroundings. He was to meet Harold at baggage claim, where they would go to Houssam’s new house, before meeting the managers of the Knicks team to officially sign the paperwork.
He was excited.
He could not deny that.
To begin a new chapter, to be able to meet new teammates, to be coached under new and different direction, it was intriguing.
But at the same time, he was terrified.
Terrified of change. Terrified of different. Terrified of being alone.
Again.
“Announcing the arrival of Flight 371 to John F. Kennedy Airport. Please return your seats to the upright position, fasten your seatbelts, and flight attendants, prepare for landing.”
The descending was pretty uneventful, the smoothness of the flight only being interrupted by the wheels hitting the runway. As he was in first class he was one of the first passengers to alight from the plane, and as Harold came into view, Houssam grinned before setting forward eagerly.
“Shaykh! You made it!” Harold boomed, and Houssam’s smile widened as he fondly embaraced the man who had looked out for him for almost eight years.
“Hello Harold. Yes I am here.”
Harold relieved Houssam of the bag that was on his shoulders, and put it on his own, making his way to the baggage carousel. Houssam had sent three bags with him on the plane, the rest of his things was being driven across country by a moving company, and would be arriving within two weeks.
“How was your flight?”
Houssam’s shoulders lifted in a slight shrug.
“It was fine. Uneventful. I am glad to be able to stretch my legs though. A five hour flight was tiring!”
Harold chuckled, and patted Houssam on the back.
“Well I for one am thrilled to have you here. That little lady of yours must be quite the negotiator to have convinced you!”
His heart gave a lurch as his mind immediately summoned her face, and he shook his head, trying to desperately drive the image away. He needed to focus at the tasks to come, not on pining away for her.
“That one is mine. Excuse me.”
As he pushed forward to grab one of his suitcases, the man in front of him shifted slightly, narrowing his eyes suspiciously before they lit up with recognition.
“Hey! Aren’t you…”
Houssam closed a hand around the man’s arm and leaned forward.
“Yes I am. But please don’t make an announcement that I am here. I just want to get out of the airport in one piece!”
Wide eyed and perhaps a bit star struck, the man nodded in understanding.
“Of course,” he said, trying to appear collected and calm, “but may I have your autograph?!”
Despite his exhaustion and him wanting to get home as soon as possible, Houssam, to this day, had never been able to deny a fan, and he quickly scribbled out a message on a piece of paper before handing it to the man, shaking his hand, and stumbling after Harold towards the limo service.
Once in the safety of the limo, he sagged against the soft leather, wondering how different his life was going to be here in New York where celebrities walked free. It had not been made public yet that he was signing with the Knicks, after all they were to do the official paperwork tonight. But he had a feeling once it was made known to all, he would have not a moment of peace.
Immediately his mind went back to Hana. It had never strayed far from her to begin with of course, but here she was, invading his thoughts, though he would admit it was not an unwelcome invasion.
Thankfully Harold seemed to realize that his young charge was out of sorts, so he remained tactfully silent looking up only occasionally from his phone to point out different monuments they were passing.
As the sound of beeping filled the car, Houssam almost tore at his jacket pocket trying to retrieve his phone, though his face sunk once he realized it was not Hana.
Just wanted to make sure you arrived safely little bro. Amir, Kareem, baby boy Malik (!) and I, all miss you and are very proud of you. MWAH!
“What has you laughing?”
As Harold’s question, he raised his head, the first genuine smile on his face in days.
“My older sister is expecting, and they just found out it’s a boy.”
Harold smiled.
“How exciting. Is this the sister who has the one year old?”
“It is.”
“She’s going to have her hands full!” he said with a chuckle.
Yes Alhamdulillah just arrived. MashaAllah Mabrook! Another boy! Watch out Kareemo! InshaAllah I am on my way to my new house, I will call you tonight after we finish negotiations. Send my love to everyone. Send it to Hana if she will accept it.
He hoped that Yusra would deliver the message because he really did miss her.
A lot.