Fanart done by a Quotev user.
~To The Story~
You were alone.
That was the first thing you felt when you woke up.
Your child's eyes were staring at the ceiling with a blank stare, you blinked a few times. Without the life coming into your eyes, at a slow pace, you sat up. Your mouth opened to call out someone but didn't. Your mouth closed again. Who were you going to call? You felt like you need to call out someone, but don't remember.
Your mind was blank. Nothing was coming to your memory.
You were in a children's hospital room but didn't recognize it at that time. It was too dark.
You started to sob. You were confused. Where were you? You didn't know? Why are you alone? Your body started to tremble, you get the feeling you were supposed to run away.
Your crying wouldn't stop.
In the middle of your crying, the door opened and the lights turned on, lighting up the room.
"Oh, you woke up!" It was the voice of a woman. A nurse. The nurse frantically made your way. "Hey, it's okay." She cooed, placing a tender hand on your back. "Don't cry. You're safe now."
You still kept crying despite the nurse's kind gentle words. You were just a kid, so you couldn't comprehend anything. It was almost like you were a newborn child.
You didn't know how long it took you, but you eventually stopped crying. The only reason you stopped was because of the crying tired you out. When you weren't crying, you just kept quiet. You seem pretty hazy about everything and just sat on your bed like a doll.
Why was nothing coming into your mind? Why does it feel like you forgot something important? What's this feeling of you wanting to run away?
There was a doctor who was in charge of taking care of you, but looking back at it, you hardly remember his face. You don't even remember his name. He was nice to you, that much you can remember.
"Hello, (y/n), how are you feeling?" The doctor greeted you kindly, sitting next to your bed, along with the nurse who tried to calm you down.
.........(Y/n)?
Your eyes slowly went to the man speaking. "(Y.....(y/n)? Is... is that my name?" You asked, uncertainly. Saying your own name sounded alien-like, yet, it was the first thing that felt familiar to you since you woke up.
For you, at this condition, you felt a little odd to hear someone addressing you by a name you don't even remember.
The nurse and the doctor took questioning glances at each other.
"Yes," the doctor says to you. "That is your name. Um, (y/n), what else you do you remember?" The doctor asked cautiously.
Remember?
Your empty eyes gazed up at the ceiling. "I...." Your dry lips moved as you spoke. "I don't know..." Was all you can say. Every time you try to think back to a previous time in your life, nothing showed up. Your mind was blank.
"Hm." The doctor hummed with a thoughtful expression.
With your mind still hazy at that time, so you don't remember your times in the hospital. There are some things you do remember and that is pretty vivid.
While you were at the hospital, you spent a lot of time in your room. It had cartoonist animal paintings on the wall, and some of the furniture here looked like for kids. Whenever you did leave your room, you always saw other little kids lingering. You try to play with the other kids since you didn't like being all by yourself in your room.
What you also remember is that you kept having bad dreams whenever you slept in your hospital room, alone mind you. You never understood how your mind was able to create such horrid things. What was your dream reflecting on? The dream was always about you running away from some kind of monster and then getting caught.
At that age, it was scary for you. Waking up from a bad dream and only to find yourself alone in a hospital room and then remembering thinking of how you got here in the first place. You didn't like the lonely feeling. You always felt like you needed to be with someone. But you didn't have anyone. Sometimes you begged one of the nurses to stay behind with you, but you find yourself alone at the end.
"But I'm in their will!!!" Lulu snapped at her lawyer, not meaning to take out her frustration on someone who is not at fault. "She can't be put up for adoption! Her parents trusted me in her care!!!"
"Lulu, you recently came out of an abusive relationship. And it mentally damaged you, not only that, but you're under therapy. You are under no condition to take care of a 7-year-old on your own. She doesn't remember you."
Lulu couldn't believe what she was hearing. The past couple of months had been hard enough. Losing two people she was close with. Having to see her abusive ex-husband in court, but now social service saying she can't take care of you. It was too much.
"I'm sorry, Lulu, there is nothing more I could." Her lawyer says, before giving her a pat on the shoulder and walking past her.
This was definitely a difficult time for Lulu. She cursed herself for not leaving her ex sooner, then maybe she would have you by her side by now. If she is gonna have you back in her life, first, she has to get her life together first and start to slowly heal.
After a week went by, you finally got discharged from the hospital and you ended up in an orphanage. You understand that it was a place where kids go who don't have parents or anyone to take care of. Your memory there wasn't so bad.... it would have been nice if some of the kids treated you better.
You were quiet for the most part, and pretty fragile. Some kids did pick on you because of that, so you isolate yourself from them and try not to make any friends.
However, it was only a matter of time before someone actually adopted you.
"You wanna pick (y/n)?" The woman asked the married couple in the office room.
"Hai." The woman name Emi says with a smile. "She is such a cutie. Like a little french doll."
For the two, adopting a child had been on their mind for a while since Emi couldn't have a child herself due to so many problems. It took a while for Ryo to convince Emi to adopt but he eventually managed to peruse his wife. Money was no problem for them, it just took a while to get the paper works done.
"Uh, I see... Um." The woman in front of the couple struggled to say.
"Something wrong?" Ryo asked, who was sitting next to his wife.
"No, it's just. There is something you should know about (y/n)." She started off. "I've been telling this to the last two parents who were considering adopting her but refuse to when I tell her about her back story. You see, (y/n) doesn't remember her life before coming here. And the reason for that is because... she saw something horrible. Her parents were murdered right in front of her. The police found her knocked out in her home. When she woke up, she has no memory of anything. They ran a few tests on her before coming here."
"The doctors do say it's possible for her to get her memory back, but they're afraid it might result in a mental breakdown. And what's worse, no one knows what kind of things will trigger her memory since we don't know what was her past like. So it can be anything really."
She continued. "The other two parents who were considering adopting her didn't want to deal with what they say 'a broken child.' Which it's not true, she's actually fine, she behaves like any other child. If you are going to be responsible for her, I figure you should be aware of those things. Also, it's up to you whether or not to tell (y/n) her last name, apparently, she doesn't remember that either, she didn't even remember her first name ."
The married couple took glances at each other.
.
.
.
Much to your surprise, someone actually adopted you. Two people name Emi and Ryo. They greeted you with kind smiles and before you knew it, you walked out of that orphanage while holds with the woman name Emi. Being with them seemed better than staying in that orphanage and that hospital, so you were a little happy about leaving the place and hope to never go back.
It felt better being with two adults who you call mom and dad now because it feels familiar and nostalgic.
When you arrived at your new home, you were showered with expensive toys and clothes. Your mom seemed to like dressing you up. The first day you arrived, your mom wanted you to dress up in a cute kimono. The kimono was nice and silky. She even did your hair all the time. She was also pretty strict about how you should behave and dress and eat.
Still, it was better than being in an orphanage.
Your experience there as a young girl wasn't so bad. Yes, there were a lot of rules, but all you had to do was follow all the rules. Honestly, your first month there felt like you were a guest.
"She's so quiet." Your mother commented, sitting across from her husband at the table while you already finished your breakfast.
"It's only been a month since she moved her." Said her husband, holding his coffee mug. "Give her time. At least she's obedient."
"Hm." That was all she hummed.
Everything for you has been so new, so your first month was really just you being quiet most of the time. Also, you were a pretty fragile child. You remember how your parents seem to have sheltered you a little too much because of how you were. They were careful not to taint your innocence, wanting you to remain sweet and fragile to keep you as a 'perfect child'.
Makes it easier to control you, right?
Just then, Ryo sat up from the table, not finishing the rest of the coffee. "I'm off. I have to go. I'll probably be back in the evening."
"Alright. Drive safely."
After the married couple parted, Emi noticed that she didn't hear you at all. Nothing new. You never make a ruckus, but still, she should check on you to see if you were alright.
Your mom saw you colouring in the living room while classical was being played in the background. Eyeing you a bit longer, she walked out to the back door.
You caught your mom leaving the living room. You put your crayon down and started to follow her without her knowledge. You saw her going out the back door, where she does her gardening, with her sun hat.
You spied on the woman who you're supposed to call your mother.
Your mother noticed your gaze and turn her direction towards you.
"Oh, (y/n). You want to help me?" She offered, waving her hands to beckon you forward. You were silent and just traced your finger against the door frame. Thinking you were just gonna stand there, your mother just went back to her gardening. Not even a minute goes by when she hears your tiny footsteps approaching her.
You sat down on your knees, next to your mom. She gave you an extra shovel for you to start digging. She took her sun hat and put it on your own head, almost covering your eyes in the process.
"Don't get a sunburn." Your mother told you.
There were times your mother was nice to you, yet hints of the abusive here and there. She was always mad at you whenever you did something bad or acted a little rebellious, so you tried to behave yourself making sure your parents were happy. A part of you felt like you owed them for taking you in.
It sounds a little silly now that you're older, but at that age, you were scared if you didn't behave well enough they will send you back to the orphanage, or the hospital. And you were scared that they were gonna send you back there, so you tried to behave, and that just stuck with you even as you grew older.
You got older, and your household became a lot more toxic. Yet you still put up with it and never fought back. You always let your parents decided everything for you.
"Woaaaah!" Your child-like eyes sparkled, hands and nose pressed against the window as you looked through the glass and saw all the wonderful different kinds of desserts being displayed. "Mommy," you called out to her as she was done talking to someone who owns a shop next to the dessert shop. "Look!" You pointed excitingly at the sweets. "Can I have one cake?"
"(Y/n), we're gonna eat lunch soon."
"Then for later."
"No." She plainly replied, before walking over to you and grabbing your hand. "Come on, we have to make one more stopped."
"Awwe." You whined, but walking with her.
"Don't whine." She strictly scolds you.
You stopped but had a pouty face for the entire trip.
As you got older, the strict rules just felt normal to you, and you just always obeyed them.
You were peacefully taking a bath. The water was warm and pleasing to the skin despite the slight sting you felt on some bruised parts. You had your back pressed against the bathtub, the water reaching up to your chest. The water wouldn't be able to wash away these blue-purple bruises.
They were fresh. You blamed yourself for receiving these ugly marks. You knew you were gonna punished if you came home past curfew.
You pressed your lips together, trying to fight back any tears. You just tried to focus on the peaceful waters.
What was your biological mother like? Was she strict with you? Did she hit you? Or was she kind? You try to shake those thoughts off. Of course, you were sometimes curious about your biological parents. Especially since you couldn't remember your old life.
Do you wish you could be with your biological parents?
You weren't sure. You don't want to think like that because a part of you will feel guilty since you already have parents despite them being toxic.
.
.
.
And now, here you are. Your memory has resurfaced, something your parents try to keep hidden, and something you ran away from. You were hiding in your room, underneath a layer of your bedsheets in the dark after coming in with a mental breakdown, wishing you couldn't remember what was once taken away from you.
~End Of Chapter~