At some point during surgical residency, most interns get a sense of who they are as doctors, and the kind of surgeons they're going to become. If you ask them, they'll tell you. They're going to be General surgeons. Orthopedic surgeons. Neurosurgeons. Distinctions that do more than describe their areas of expertise. They help define who they are. Because outside of the operating room, not only do most surgeons have no clue of who they are, they're afraid to find out.
I did it, I finally moved out of Meredith's house. I knew things with George and I were finally going somewhere, but I needed my own space. It's really nice not having night terrors anymore. George was pretty angry about me leaving the house though, and when I got to work, he felt the need to say something about it. "Rachel!" he yells to me as I walk into the hospital.
"Hmm," I say while taking a sip of my hot coffee.
"Come on, wait up. Before you start yelling at me... you were right. I should have told you how I felt about you moving away from us. It's just... I'm not good at the whole talking about feelings things," he confesses.
"I bet you told Meredith how you felt about it though, didn't you? And Izzie? You don't seem to have any trouble talking to them about things George, but me?" I ask as I walk over to Bailey.
"I miss having you around," George says as he walks over, behind me. I can't help but smile slightly.
"No cutting. No cutting!" Cristina yells at the both of us.
"Yang you're late," Alex says.
"Hey I got here before George and Rachel did," Cristina argues.
"I was here!" George and I yell at the same time.
"Nice of you to finally join us Yang," Bailey says. Cristina rolls her eyes while Alex and I laugh.
"Oh what are you smiling about? Aren't you supposed to be on the Gynie Brigade?" Cristina asks Alex.
"Yeah, whatever," he mumbles.
"Woman troubles?" I ask Meredith as she has her hand over her stomach. She doesn't look too good.
"Men troubles actually. I think this dating two guys thing is really getting to me. The stress of it all. Finn, Derek. Derek, Finn. I think I'm getting an ulcer," Meredith says.
"McDreamy and the vet are making you sick?" I ask her.
"I just need to make a choice and get it all over with," Meredith says. We all nod our heads at her in agreement.
After talking to a patient, Meredith throws up in a trash can. I take her to get checked out and Derek follows us. "You're burning up," he tells her.
"I'm fine," she says.
"You don't look too fine right now," he argues. I hand Meredith a glass of cold water. "You look beautiful but you don't look fine," Derek says.
"Now I'm going to have to throw up," I joke. Meredith doesn't laugh, but Derek does.
"Go. You have aneurysms to clip. And surgeons to confront," Meredith says to Derek.
"You're going to be alright?" he asks her. She nods her head. "Will you look after her, please?" he asks me. I just nod my head also.
Derek leaves and Meredith pukes again, so I page Bailey to come over. "So who's the father?" I ask Meredith.
"I'm not pregnant Rachel," Meredith denies.
"You don't think you're pregnant when you're pregnant. But the fever, abdominal pain, non-stop vomiting. It all hits you at once until you realize."
"I'm not pregnant."
"You don't know who the father is, do you?"
"It would have to be Derek's. There's no way it could be Finns."
"You haven't had sex with the vet yet? You got to get out of that relationship immediately."
"I can't be pregnant, can I?"
"With McBaby!" I say a little too excitedly, poking Meredith's stomach.
Then Bailey walks into the room. "She's not pregnant," she tells us. I leave the room and let Bailey talk to Meredith in private.
"Hey," George says, running up to me once I leave the room.
"I heard Meredith's going to have an Appy," I tell him.
"It wasn't my idea to scrub in," he confesses. I didn't even know he was scrubbing in on it.
"George... I just thought maybe we could have a late supper at my house tonight," I suggest.
"Dinner at your house?" he asks.
"Okay, it's not really my house. I don't have my house yet so Im staying at a hotel for a while. The Archfield," I honestly tell him.
"Why would we have dinner at a hotel?" he asks me.
"Because they bring the food up to your room," I tell him.
"Youre staying at the Archfield? How are you even affording to stay there?" he asks me.
"I still have some secrets O'Malley. And if you come see me tonight, I might show you one or two," I tease before walking away from him.
I sit in the gallery, watching George's surgery. Last time he performed an Appy, he killed somebody. But not this time. The surgery actually went really smoothly. I meet him down stairs and congratulate him.
"Good job on that surgery O'Malley. Ready to go?" I ask him.
"I'm so sorry that I have to do this to you. I have to go home Rachel. It's Izzie," he tells me.
"Its always Izzie or Meredith. It's never me," I scoff.
"That's not true at all and you know it," George argues.
"Who am I to you George? Just your friend? Am I your girlfriend? Am I somebody you just mess around with? Do you even know what we are? Well guess what. Now you don't even have to bother to figure it out," I tell him, before walking away and out to my car to go to Joe's bar.
I get to Joe's and Mark is there so I sit down on a stool next to him. "Hey, theres my favorite red-bottomed whore," Mark laughs.
"Bad day?" I ask him.
"You could say that for sure. You?" he asks me.
"Oh yeah..." I tell him.
"So what have you heard about me from people, exactly?" he asks.
"Mostly things that involve the words dirty and bad," I tell him.
"Right. I guess there really is no starting over, is there? Can I please buy you a drink Rachel?" he asks me.
"Sure, but only one for tonight. Tequila please. But then Im going back to my hotel room and going to bed," I tell him.
"Care if I join you?" he asks me.
Mistakes are pretty painful, but they're the only way to find out who you really, truly are. I finally know who I really am now. I know what I want. Everything is going to be different now. I promise, from here on out, nothing is ever going to be the same.
A/N!! New update! Short, but a very crucial chapter. This leads up to some insight on George and Rachel's relationship status. Do you think Rachel will let Mark back in her hotel room with her? Please vote and comment any suggestions you may have for this story. Comments are motivation <3 (1206)