A/N: A lot of the art for this chapter is done by @yoshoeshoo on Twitter. I fell in love with her Tsukki work.
***
(Earlier that day with Tsukki)
"I'm just teasing, Shortstuff, but I gotta go or I'm gonna miss my train and you need to finish getting ready before those two spaz attacks get there."
"Okay, have fun. See ya when you get back."
***
Tsukki taps the red button disconnecting the call then shoves his phone in his pocket. He does a quick mental check of everything he wanted to bring with him before grabbing his backpack and tossing it over his shoulder. Only going for a couple days so the things he needs are minimal.
Receiving a pinging notification on his phone alerts him that his ride to the train station has arrived. He quickly heads downstairs, giving a yell goodbye before he heads out the door.
The drive to the station is a short one, thankfully. Checking into the station, he gets settled into his seat sliding his headphones on for the long ride to Sendai. Tapping on Spotify he selects a currently recommended playlist, Blackbear Radio. As the songs shuffle during the long ride his thoughts keep drifting to you, trying to process how he feels about everything between the two of you.
***
*Around 5 hours later*
Arriving back at his childhood home Tsukki announces his arrival. "Mom! I'm home."
"Oh! Kei!!! I'm in the kitchen honey." Mrs. Tsukishima calls out excitedly.
Tsukki removes his shoes making his way to the kitchen to greet his mother with a genuine smile and a hug. His mother pulls back placing a hand on his cheek. "Oh Kei it's so good to see you home again."
"Good to see you too, Mom. Is Akiteru home yet?" Tsukki asks.
"Yep, he got home about an hour ago. He's up in his room. Dinner will be ready in about an hour." Mrs. Tsukishima says.
"Thanks mom, I'll be back. There's something I want to talk with Akiteru about." Tsukki gives his mom another big hug before he heads upstairs to his room, dropping off his backpack then making his way over to his brother's room.
Coming upon Akiteru's room Tsukki hesitates for a moment nerves on edge. On the rare occasion he's gone to his brother for advice it's always helped but this was different. Finally he closes his eyes and knocks against the door to get his brother's attention
"Kei! You're home! How's college life treating you, congrats again on the internship!" Akiteru walks over excited to see his baby bro.
"It's going good I suppose and thanks." Tsukki has an uncomfortable look on his face, rubbing his neck anxiously. "Akiteru can we like.... Go for a walk or something? I need some advice but the idea of sitting around talking about it is making it harder to discuss."
"Yeah sure," Akiteru says as he follows Tsukki downstairs and towards the front door. They both pause to slip their shoes on. Akiteru meets Tsukki's eyes for a brief moment. "Everything alright?"
"Yeah.... No.... Fuck I don't know honestly." Tsukki sighs feeling on edge. He stands pulling the door open.
As Akiteru stands starting to head out the door he calls out to their mother. "Hey Mom! Me and Kei are gonna go for a walk. We'll be back before dinner though."
"Okay, you boys have fun!" Their mother says popping her head around the corner with a smile.
Akiteru and Tsukki start walking, silent at first until Akiteru gently coaxes Tsukki to speak. "So what's going on, Kei?"
Tsukki looks like he wants to puke at the thought of talking about his feelings but he finally speaks. "So there's this girl. I think I'm starting to have... feelings for her."
"Okayyyy, that's not really a question..." Akiteru prods.
Tsukki gives his brother an annoyed look, promptly shutting him up. "Just let me get this out, this is difficult enough already."
Akiteru pantomimes locking his lips with a key and just listens.
"I haven't known her for long but I would say that we are friends. I enjoy being around her. Fuck! I even feel myself get jealous when she interacts with other guys." Tsukki says wiping a hand across his face. "You've been in relationships before Akiteru, but I... I just don't know. I've never felt like this before. I've been with plenty of women and never... not once have I felt like this. It's.... frustrating and I don't know what to do about it."
Akiteru waits, wanting to make sure his brother didn't have more he wanted to say. When Tsukki stays silent he asks. "Well do you know how she feels?"
"Like how? Do you mean, do I know if she has feelings for me?" Tsukki rubs the back of his neck. "Ummm well maybe... we get along, but she also doesn't take my shit either. She gives it right back to me." Tsukki laughs. "She's actually kind of a brat... but she's smart too." Tsukki smiles, Akiteru looks at the genuine happiness showing on his brother's face. He's never seen his brother smile like that when talking about a girl.
"So what's got you confused then? It's sounds like you both like each other..." Akiteru asks.
"That's just it though, I'm happy now, I like things the way they are now. I don't want them to change and it just feels like... I don't know... Taking that step... Things will change."
"Anytime a relationship changes from friends to a couple things are going to change. That's kind of the whole point Kei." Akiteru points out.
"I just wish things could stay the way they are now. Which is what's making this so difficult." Tsukki stares up at the sky as the sun is starting to set, wondering what you're doing right now. His gaze eventually coming back down, glancing back at his brother.
Akiteru looks at Tsukki confused, "If you're happy with things now then why not just stay friends? Why complicate things with more?"
Tsukki just deadpans his brother like as if to say 'come on bro don't make me spell it out'
"OH! Ohhhhh, she's THAT kind of friend. So it's already been complicated like that.... Well I mean, that's something you're going to have to decide for yourself. I don't know her or what your relationship with her is like. Things could stay the same or become better or they could become worse, I can't lie to you and say that's not a risk you're taking in this scenario. But I will say this." Akiteru pauses wanting to give his brother the best advice he can. "Friends with benefit situations rarely stay just that. One or both usually end up catching feelings."
Tsukki listens to his brother's words, taking them in, and taking them to heart. "So basically you're saying one way or another I need to figure this out or it's going to blow up in my face?"
Akiteru has a pained expression. He wouldn't have put it so bluntly but as usually Tsukki cuts straight to the point. "Basically."
Tsukki nods his head. "I guess I need to figure it out then." Tsukki groans in contemplation. Wondering what's so great about taking that risk. Why would anyone voluntarily put getting hurt in someone else's hands. He thinks of their Mom and everything that she's been through.
"Something else on your mind?" Akiteru notices his brother's frustration.
"I don't know.... I just.... I'm struggling to understand the appeal of putting yourself at risk to be hurt like that. I mean look at mom, after dad left she never got married again. I don't even think she's dated... if love's so great why didn't mom want to try again after dad left?"
"That's something I genuinely don't know Kei. You'd have to ask mom that one, but don't forget she was raising us by herself so it's not like she had a whole lot of time on her hands. And I've seen relationships work with couples and families that are happy. Sure sometimes it doesn't work out but when it does it's really beautiful. As bad as it hurts when it doesn't work, that pain is nothing compared to what it feels like when you've found the right one and experience real love." Akiteru explains.
With a heavy sigh Tsukki meets his brother's eyes. "Thanks Akiteru."
"Of course! What are big brothers for! Don't worry too much!" Akiteru attempts to lift the serious mood of the discussion to a lighter one. "Seriously Kei, if your attitude hasn't scared her off yet then I doubt she's going anywhere. Especially after what you've told me about her." He nudges Tsukki in the ribs with his elbow. "Besides you need a woman who doesn't just put up with your attitude and if she dishes it out right back at you then she DEFINITELY sounds like a keeper."
Tsukki finally gives a small chuckle. "Yeah, I think you're right."
Now if only he could get over the fear of fucking everything up by telling you how he feels.
The rest of his visit was great, spending some much needed time with his mom. Helping her out with projects around the house. The time flew by and before he knows it, he's packing up to get ready to leave.
"You have everything Kei?" Mrs. Tsukishima asks.
"Yep, sure do."
"Good" she wraps her arms around his waist giving him a big squeeze. The hug lingers as she rests her head against her son's chest. She lets out a little chuckle as she pulls back. "I still can't believe how tall you are Kei."
Tsukki chuckles "yeah who would have thought my older brother would be the shorty pants."
Down the hall Akiteru shouts. "HEY! I heard that! It's not my fault you inherited Titan DNA!"
Tsukki and their mom laugh.
"Oh leave your brother alone Kei." Mrs Tsukishima admonishes even though she's still laughing at their interaction. "I'm glad you came home. You seem different this time. Happier even... any reason why?"
Tsukki's eyes dart to his mother, feeling like a deer caught in headlights. He didn't think he was behaving any differently but leave it to his perceptive mother to pick up on something. "Oh uh, umm nothing. Just in a good mood I guess."
"Okay... well whatever it is. I hope it keeps making you happy like this." She gives her son a gentle smile, letting the topic go. "Well I won't hold you up any longer. I don't want you to miss the train back."
Tsukki hugs his mom once more then says goodbye to Akiteru then heading out the door to the train station.
***
The sun is low in the sky when Tsukki finally gets back home. Coming in the door he finds Kuroo and Bokuto relaxing in their usual spots.
Bokuto speaks first "TSUKKI'S HOME!!!!"
Tsukki rolls his eyes at the enthusiastic hello as he takes a seat on the couch next to Bokuto while Kuroo addresses him. "Good to see ya home Tsukki, how was the trip. How's your mom?"
"She's doing good. She was happy to see me and my brother. I'm glad I took the time to head out there this weekend. How'd the tryouts go?"
"They went awesome! Hinata's definitely getting the spot on the team."
"That's not really a surprise there Bo." Tsukki chuckles.
"Y/n's meeting went well too. She really hit it off with Akemi. She even gave her some great study advice that I'll be helping her with." Kuroo says nonchalantly.
This immediately peaked Tsukki's interest. What was Kuroo talking about. He tries his best to keep his cool but Kuroo sees it in his eyes. "Oh yeah, that's good to hear they hit it off so well. What uh... what was the study advice she gave her?"
"Nothing too stressful. I'm just gonna be standing in as a real life mannequin for her to draw on. Akemi had said something about drawing on a real life human, detailing out all the muscles and stuff really makes a big difference." Kuroo is straight forward in his explanation. He can see Tsukki starting to get agitated. "She was explaining how being able to touch and move a human body helps with the memorization."
Tsukki can no longer keep his cool unaffected expression. Brows knitting together. "Kuroo what the fuck are you playing at?"
"What ever do you mean Tsukki-poo. I merely offered my help when I heard she needed someone to stand in as a mannequin. No more no less." Tsukki's irritation doesn't phase Kuroo in the slightest. If he's ever going to get Tsukki to stop hiding his feelings for you he knows he's gonna have to push some buttons.
Tsukki quickly stands, agitation in his voice. "Well I'm sure Y/N appreciates your offer but I'll be the one to help her. So your help will no longer be necessary."
Kuroo just chuckles at Tsukki's outburst. "Sure sure, whatever you say Tsukki-poo but, don't you think you should clear that with y/n and let her choose? Maybe she would prefer me to be her mannequin..."
"I highly doubt that." Tsukki tries to sound confident but the anxiety that's settled in his chest at the idea that you would prefer someone else to him. He pulls his phone from his pocket dialing your number and heads upstairs to his room. His mind racing on how to approach the topic discreetly. As the phone rings he slowly formulates his thoughts.
Y/N: Heyyyy Tsukki-Saurus-Rex!
Your greeting takes him off guard completely erasing his previous anxiety. A hardy laugh escaping from his chest. Causing you to giggle as well.
T: What did you just call me?
Y/N: Tsukki-Saurus-Rex... what? You can't say it wasn't clever.
T: No no it definitely was, I just seriously was not expecting that at all.
Y/N: Good then I achieved success! Yay! So how was your trip? That train ride had to be brutal.
T: It was good, really good actually. Kuroo tells me your meeting went well?
Y/N: YES! It went great! She invited me to come again in the future too, so that I can see how things work at regular practices and games too.
T: that's great to hear. See what did I tell you. I knew everything would go great for you.
Y/N: it really did. Oh and she also helped me for my final test coming up. I don't know if Kuroo mentioned it to you yet or not, but he offered to help me. I had considered asking you but I don't think you know how to behave yourself enough for me to study.
Your teasing sparks his interest. So she had considered him first. The relief that washed over him spurred him on.
T: Me??? What did I do? I think you're just too scared that you can't behave yourself. You're the one who was being a tease last time we were studying.
Y/N: Mmhmm sure sure, twist it however you like Kei. But I know better. The minute I start writing on your bare skin you won't be able to behave. Which was why I accepted Kuroo's offer. Because I know he's not interested in me like that, so I know he will behave so I can study properly.
T: and if I promised to behave?
The other side of the line goes silent for a moment as you think. The temptation of Tsukki being your study partner too much as you finally concede.
Y/N: If you promise Kei... and I mean it. I need to pass this test so you can't distract me... can you really promise that?
T: I promise.
Y/N: Okay then, can you let Kuroo know you're going to take his place.
T: Gladly...
***
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Hey hey hey! 🦖🦖🦖 So we finally start to see a crack in Tsukki's emotional armor. Do you guys think he will be able to keep his promise? We shall find out soon I suppose. 🧡🖤🧡🖤 Till next time Tsukki Simps!