It had been two days since Omkara had left to Germany, and everyone around Gauri could clearly see how gloomy she had become, even though she tried her best not to let anyone know. However, her parents could see how their once-chirpy daughter preferred to spend time alone in her room in silence. Even this evening, as she came back from work, she simply smiled and greeted her Papa with a kiss on his cheek, her Mamma with a hug, and let them know that she was going to her room. "But what time are Rudra and Annika coming over?" Shalini asked, and Gauri said they were yet to let her know.
Earlier, Rudra had been informed by Omkara when he'd called him up, that Gauri sounded upset. "Don't worry, O, I'll visit Bhabhi and cheer her up!" he'd said. When Omkara had told him that she was staying over at the Sharma Residence, Rudra quipped if he could take Annika along. "She could use a change of environment also," he'd said in a sombre tone, referring to how none of the elders in the house spoke to Annika like before. Omkara had told him to seek Gauri's parent's permission for the same, and Shalini-Arvind were more than happy to have them over since Gauri's mood also would improve.
***
"Mamma, please, galti se bhi, don't ask Bhabhi anything about babies, okay?" Gauri warned, and Shalini frowned saying, "Why would I ask such a thing?" Gauri shook her head knowing that her mother could be a little inquisitive at times. She hadn't told her anything in detail about Annika's condition, yet. "Main bas bol rahi thi, Mamma," Gauri said, not wanting to argue. Shalini grumbled to herself, "Haan, ab bachche itne bade ho gaye ke apne maa-baap ko sikhane lage ke kya bolne chahiye aur kya nahi!" Gauri looked at her Papa who blinked his eyes in assurance, as if asking her to forget what her mother was grumbling. Gauri's phone beeped as she received a message from Rudra, "Reaching in 2 mins" Gauri conveyed the same to her parents and then got up to go outside to greet them.
"Rudra, mujhe bada ajeeb lag raha hai," Annika said as Rudra drove into the lane to Gauri's place. "Ajeeb? Kyu?" he asked with a frown to which she replied, "We're going to Gauri's parents' house, that too after inviting ourselves! Achcha dikhta hai kya aise bina bulaye jaana?" Rudra clicked his tongue as he said with a grin, "We're going to meet Gauri Bhabhi. I asked her if I can bring you along, and she said yes. Also, Bhabhi's parents are super-cute and super-cool! You met them at the wedding, right? You'll get to talk to them also today. Kuch ajeeb-vajeeb nahi lagega; aap chalo." Annika nodded, although not completely convinced.
***
"Bhabhi!" Gauri exclaimed and hugged Annika at the door, who hugged her back. "Haan, everyone forgets me conveniently. Mujhe koi pyaar nahi karta!" Rudra said from behind. Shalini smiled as she said with a grin, "Badmaash, tu idhar aaja!" Shalini hugged the boy who then walked straight into the living room like he owned the place, not before asking her what was there for snacks.
"Hello Aunty," Annika said politely, bending down to touch her feet, but before that Shalini pulled her into an affectionate hug. She then greeted Arvind, who did not allow her to touch his feet but did place a hand on her head, blessing her with a warm smile. "Come on in quickly so I can close the door. There are too many mosquitoes coming into the house," Shalini said, calling them in.
***
A while later, Annika was comfortable in the Sharma House. Sitting next to Gauri and her father in the living room, the three of them were playing cards. "Papa! Not fair!" Gauri whined when Arvind showed his cards, winning the game, yet again. Annika also dejectedly placed her cards on the table, and Arvind chuckled before he stuck his tongue out at his daughter and poked fun at her. In turn, Gauri mimicked him and playfully mocked back at him.
Annika sighed as she witnessed the father-daughter engage in playful banter, wishing she too had a family life like this. There was not a single memory because she had been left at the gate of the orphanage as an infant. Annika grew up with the nuns, never knowing what a father's love could feel like. True that the nuns were loving and kind to her, and she had other companions in the orphanage to share the love with, but parental love was something she always craved for, wishing she knew what it felt like to be loved by a father, to be pampered by a mother.
Annika once thought that when she would get married and have children, she would give them so much love; something that she never received, something that she lacked. But it seemed like fate wasn't in her favour too. Her surgery was scheduled in the coming month, wherein she would fly with Shivaay to Italy. That surgery, although critically important for her health, would close all doors for her to carry a child within her. She had always longed to go through that feeling of holding her baby within her. For a mother to be able to feel every movement of her unborn baby must be such a delight. Unfortunately, she would never be able to feel it, she thought warily.
Arvind noticed Annika lost in thoughts and hinted at Gauri about the same. Gauri nodded, and immediately shifted closer to Annika. "Bhabhi, come, let me show you around. Then, let's sit on the balcony and chat. You know, my room has an amazing view of the park down the street!" Annika nodded, and then looked at Rudra. "Don't worry about him, beta," Arvind said with a smile, "He's busied himself in the kitchen. You go ahead." Annika nodded with a warm smile and followed Gauri upstairs.
Rudra, on the other hand, was having a gala time. Until this moment, he hadn't realized he could be drawn towards cooking. "Shalu Aunty," he said to her while sauteing the spices, "Main aage jaake chef banoonga!" There was a glint of pride in his eyes, and Shalini smiled sweetly at him with a nod, asked, "Tujhe cooking pasand hai?" He grinned saying, "Waise toh main protein shake, poached eggs, salads – yeh sab bahut achcha banata hoon. But it is only now that I realize that I can cook – thanks to you!"
Shalini's brows raised, "Thanks to me? Why?" She hadn't expected Rudra's smile to drop a little. It was actually surprising to see this chirpy fellow turn a little sad at that moment as if the light had gone from his eyes. However, putting up a smile, he said while looking at the onions that he was caramelizing in the pot, "I've always been pampered in the family – everyone calls me bachcha. So, I never really was given any chance to do anything on my own. Anytime I went to the kitchen, Shivaay Bhaiyya and O would coddle me and tell me that they would cook for me. Daadi, Mom, Choti Maa always thought of me that I was a baby. Woh beshak unka pyaar tha – that they didn't want their baby to do any work – lekin unhone mujhe kabhi bada hone hi nahi diya."
Continuing, he said with a smile looking at her, "When I was really small, Mummy used to cook. But then, when problems in our family began, she began to live in her own world; she lost touch with everyone, even with herself. Bahut dukhi rehne lagi woh. At least O got to experience a little of the happy days that we once had; I was too small to remember all of that. The only memories I have of my family are sad ones. Growing up, I don't remember sitting with Papa to have a decent conversation, or watching my Mummy cook for me. It was always O and Shivaay Bhaiyya who were my parents."
He noticed how Shalini had a crestfallen expression on her face listening to him, and he quickly put on a bright grin saying, "Main bhi na, bina baat ke senti ho gaya. What I wanted to say is, today you did not call me a bachcha and chase me out of the kitchen. Instead, you happily gave me responsibility. Thodi zimmedari milke achcha laga."
Shalini felt her heart aching for this boy. Rudra was an absolute sweetheart, she concluded and patted his back. She could see how he was trying to look upbeat and cheerful. Perhaps, he was so used to living in a broken family, that he had learned to use his bachpana, his childishness, his silly humour as a defense mechanism of breaking the tension. She realized, all this boy really wanted was to see people happy. Even the moment he had walked in, he had made Gauri laugh with his silly jokes, so much that her mood had improved a lot more than it had ever been in the last two days.
Then, she thought about her own son-in-law. Omkara must have felt the brunt even more, given how he had grown up parenting Rudra, while being a shield for him, protecting him from their parents' strained relationship. Her heart almost bled thinking of all those times, before getting married, of course, Omkara had tried to seek that motherly love from him. And each time, she had thrown bitter words and taunts, thinking that he wasn't the right company for her daughter. She felt embarrassed even more at this moment. The poor thing was only looking for some love and affection, while she was being rude to him. No wonder, he was always fond of Arvind and looked at the man like he was a godsent gift. She now realized, these two brothers were so deprived of love and familial relations, they were desperately seeking it from just about anywhere.
"Rudra," Shalini called him lovingly, making him look at her, "You know what? Tera jab mann kare, tu yahan aa jaya kar." Trying not to sound as if she was pitying him, she added with a teasing smile, "You and I can both cook together, theek hai? That way, you can find out if you really are interested in cooking, or this is a one-day interest."
Rudra, almost emotional, hugged her tight. Pulling away, he said with a bright smile, "Aaj se aap Shalu Aunty nahi, mere liye Shalu Darling hain!" She laughed, slapping his arm, "Badmaash!"
Arvind walked in at the same moment, and listening to Rudra, he raised his brows, "Oh, so this is happening here?" Rudra grinned at him, saying, "Uncle, Shalu Darling is helping me cook!" Arvind, in a mock glare, said, "Dekho Rudra, Darling toh Shalu sirf meri hai. You better stick to calling her as 'Shalu Aunty'"
Shalini shook her head and glared at her husband, "Kuch bhi bolte hain aap bachchon ke saamne!" Arvind held her hand and pulled her into an impromptu dance, which lasted for just a second as he twirled her. She laughed, pushing him a little away, and he teased her further by placing his hand at his heart.
Rudra grinned, watching the two of them. This playful banter, this romance between them at this age was something he couldn't have fathomed. His parents were always at each other's throats, ready to almost kill. His Chote Papa literally trembled in fear when it came to Choti Maa. To witness such blissful moments between the two was heart-warming. Rudra wished that someday he would find someone to share such a wonderful equation with whom he'd happily grow old.
"By the way, what can I help you with?" Arvind asked Shalini if he could help with the kitchen work, and she shook her head in a no, "Today, only my Rudra gets to assist me. He's the sous chef of the day!" Rudra grinned with pride and puffing up his chest, he saluted her. Arvind realized she was doing this to appease the young man, and nodded, saying in a dramatic way, "Ok, Rudra. I trust you to take care of our Shalu" Rudra turned and saluted him too, "Sir, yes, sir!" he said in a confident tone. Shalini smiled at the two of them, and said, "Now if you two are done, let me remind you that the onions might burn if you don't saute them." Rudra instantly turned to sauté the onions, not wanting to fail in the first-ever task his Shalu Darling gave him.
***
"You seem lost, Bhabhi. All okay?" Gauri asked as the two of them settled on her bed. Annika nodded thoughtfully, and then said with a smile, "Tu bahut lucky hai, Gauri..." Gauri smiled and nodded, "I'm sure I am, Bhabhi. Lekin aap aisa kis wajah se keh rahi hain?"
Annika heaved a long sigh and holding Gauri's hands in hers, she said, "You have amazing parents who support you in anything you do. The way you share that love, that bond with them is so precious. Then, there is Janhvi Aunty – your mother-in-law who is so fond of you, who loves you like a mother. And Om ke baare mein main kya hi kahoon? He fights the whole world for you even before he sees a crease of worry at your forehead. Sach bataaun? A part of me is actually jealous of you!" Annika finished with a smile.
Gauri didn't know how or what to reply. She was indeed blessed to have such wonderful parents. Even Omkara was so fond of them, especially her Papa. Listening to Annika's words, she felt guilty about all those times she had taken them for granted. Being an orphan, Annika craved love, and it was evident in the way she looked at her parents as they hugged her or laughed with her. As for Pinky Oberoi, like Omkara had told her, Gauri knew it was better to ignore the woman. It was easier for her to do that because neither was she staying in the Oberoi Mansion, nor was she, her daughter-in-law. Gauri realized what Annika was trying to say when she mentioned Janhvi loving her like a mom. Annika never found that love and was never able to bond with Pinky in all these years, the way she had bonded with Janhvi in a couple of days.
But Gauri smiled thinking of Shivaay Singh Oberoi. The man loved his wife to death and could do anything to bring a smile to Annika's face. Gently squeezing her hand, Gauri said to her, "Bhabhi, you're lucky too! You have Bade Bhaiyya in your life, who loves you and supports you to any extent."
Annika smiled with a nod, as she said, "That's true. Shivaay does love me a lot. But Gauri, sometimes love and support needs to be expressed in actions, rather than words." Gauri's brows creased in worry as she slowly asked, "Forgive me if I'm overstepping my boundaries, but aap dono ke beech sab theek hai, na?"
Annika nodded with a smile, "Haan, waise toh sab theek hai, lekin kabhi kabhi lagta hai ke..." she paused, not knowing how exactly to structure her sentence. No doubt, she loved Shivaay, and she trusted Shivaay loved her too. But the man had other priorities most of the time. Now, she was not a fool to believe that Shivaay would, all the days of his life, sit next to her and coddle her. But it would be nice if once in a while he would express his love for her in terms of spending time with her. She couldn't help it because the responsibility of the entire Oberoi business was on his shoulders; she knew he worked really hard to bring the company to where it stood. She was proud of him.
But there was a small part of her that wished to have a normal life – the one where her husband came back early from work, where they went out for a stroll to have pani-puri in the evenings while discussing how his day went, to have dinner together in comfortable silence, to spend some intimate moments together before sleeping in each other's arms. Now, while Annika had every materialistic happiness, where Shivaay saw that she did not lack anything at all, she craved to spend just some time with him. Every time she saw him, he would be busy on his phone or laptop. The only time they were together was when they made love. Even then, Shivaay would be so exhausted after long hours at the office, he would fall asleep right after, while she would lay awake staring at the ceiling for hours together.
It didn't help that her physical condition caused her mental stress too. In addition, her mother-in-law did not miss a single opportunity to taunt her for it, calling her all sorts of adjectives. While Shivaay would only ask his mother to stop saying such things, which Annika was grateful for, he never took a strong stand for her. She didn't expect him to talk back to Pinky, because she was his mother and he ought to respect her. But often, his silence caused disrespect to her. However, Annika had learned not to complain. She couldn't forget to be grateful that he gave her a family – something she never had before she met him. Annika however wished for a little more, instead of settling for the bare minimum that was handed over in her plate.
At times, she wished she could stand up for herself. But the fear of losing the chance of being loved in the family always loomed over her head. If she stood up to her mother-in-law or to Daadi, what if they disowned her? Where would she go? Although she used to work as a primary school teacher at the school that was run by the same nuns of the orphanage, she didn't have her financial independence anymore, since she was asked to quit her job before getting married. "Khaandaan ki badi bahu ek chote se school mein teacher ka kaam kaise kar sakti hai? No one has even heard of that school among our high society," Pinky had said. Shivaay had convinced her to quit her job before marrying, and she had agreed because she didn't want to displease her future family.
There were also times she wished her husband took a firm stand for her. After all, a son could convince a mother, more than a daughter-in-law could try convincing a mother-in-law. Shivaay believed in maintaining peace in the family, which is why he only stopped fights and accusations, instead of confronting any. For him, silence was always better than confrontation. Unlike Omkara. Her brother-in-law Omkara believed in standing up for what was right, without the fear of any consequences. She had heard about the time when he had stood up to the whole family's hypocrisy at Gauri's pehli rasoi.
Sadly, Shivaay had never taken a stand for her. All he ever did was ask them all politely to stop saying harsh things, and then come to her and tell her that she should not take things to heart. That is what she always did – she stopped taking things to heart until her mother-in-law called her a curse in their lives the day they all learned about her condition. How could she just let that slide? And the fact that Shivaay did not show any anger at his mother, but only said, "Mom, please stop it," before throwing his phone and walking out of the scene in anger made her realize that while he loved her a lot, he did lack somewhere. She knew she shouldn't be comparing her husband to Omkara, since they were two different personalities in spite of being brothers, but every time she saw Shivaay, she saw a scion, an heir, the peacemaker of the Oberoi family first; then, she saw him as her husband.
"Bhabhi!" Gauri's voice jerked her out of her thoughts and she looked at her, who was looking back at her with a worried face. Putting a smile, she said to her with a shake of her head, "Arrey kuch nahi. I was just being a melodramatic Meena Kumari; Rudra ke saath rehte rehte, uske jaise nautanki karna bhi seekh liya..."
Gauri could see that Annika's laugh was a mere façade, as she tried to mask the pain in her eyes. She wanted to point out to her that there was no need for her to bottle up all her feelings, and that she could vent it all out to her. In an attempt to do so, Gauri said, "When you got married in the family, how was your reaction to all the rules and values of the house?" Annika's smile faltered a bit as she looked at Gauri. As if swallowing a bitter pill, Annika said, "Remember how Janhvi Aunty told you when you were welcomed into the house after marriage, that you'll learn to love them? She was right. The rules, well, it is something that has been a part of the Oberoi family for too long. It's a value system, it's a tradition that has been there. One cannot simply get rid of them overnight, no matter how absurd."
"Ahaa! So, you do agree that the rules are absurd?" Gauri cheekily pointed out. "Some of them are," she admitted silently. "Bhabhi, ek baat poochun?" Gauri asked, and Annika nodded. "Bura toh nahi maanengi na?" she asked again, making Annika frown slightly, "I'm used to hearing a lot worse, especially nowadays Gauri. Maine baaton ka bura maanna chod diya hai. Tu toh phir bhi itni sweet hai, meri choti behen jaisi hai. I'm sure you won't ask or say anything that would hurt me! Poocho jo poochna hai..."
Gauri, holding Annika's hands in hers, said, "Agar aapki jagah, Bade Bhaiyya ko infertility hota, would the family speak to him and treat him the way they treat you?" She felt Annika's fingers tremble slightly as she darted her glance away, before she said in a sad voice, "Nahi. In fact, heaven forbid if Shivaay was the one having troubles, even then the family would find a way to blame me." With a bitter smile, she said, "That is how deep-rooted patriarchy is in the family, Gauri. No matter what the man does, the woman is expected to compromise. Ab Janhvi Aunty ka example lelo. Tej Uncle was the one having extramarital affairs; Tej Uncle was the one who was involved with Swetlana. Yet, every time, Janhvi Aunty was expected to forgive him. She was expected to hold her end of the bargain to a point where she couldn't even get out of marriage. It was only when Daadi realized that Tej uncle tried manipulating her, did she agree for Janhvi Aunty to walk out of that hollow shell of a marriage!"
Annika took a deep breath, continuing, "I'm not badmouthing or gossiping about our elders, but when Janhvi Aunty had turned to seek solace in the bottle, she was blamed for Tej being involved with Swetlana. Not one person had the courage or courtesy to understand the reason why she turned to alcoholism in the first place. Sometimes, I feel Pinky Mom was forced to be so bitter because of the ways of the house. If you're too nice, it sometimes becomes difficult to stay sane in that house." Then smiling, she said, "But all is not bad too! We also have wonderful people like Shakthi Papa, Omkara, Rudra, and even Khanna Bhaiyya"
"And Bade Bhaiyya too, right?" Gauri asked, deliberately. "And Shivaay too," Annika added with a heavy voice. "Bhabhi, you know you can share what you feel, right?" Annika nodded at Gauri's words, as she heaved a sigh saying, "It's just that, I have so much to be grateful for, Gauri. Through Shivaay, I have got a family; he's made sure I'm lacking nothing. He cares for me and loves me, a lot. But sometimes, I feel, it would be nicer for him to just listen, to understand what I have to say too; you know, instead of merely telling me in words, it would be nicer to see him put things into action. But he does that sometimes, which makes me feel as if I'm expecting too much. Sometimes I feel, maybe I'm demanding too much instead of just being happy. Maybe I'm being greedy. Pinky Mom says that the life that I'm living right now is something that a girl of my background can only imagine; that Shivaay is literally prince charming."
Pausing for a moment, she continued, "To a certain extent, I do agree; if he hadn't married me, my life would've been too different. His life would've been different too, where he didn't have to spend the rest of his life with a woman who cannot give him babies, cannot give him a family. Dekha jaaye toh, I have married up, while he had married down. And it's not like I am upset or mad at him. I still love him with all my heart, mind, and soul. But there are times jab thoda sa bura lagta hai."
"Gauri, every woman expects her husband to stand up for her, right? Main bhi expect karti hoon ke jab koi mujhe bewajah kuch sunaye, toh Shivaay mere liye stand lein. Instead of always telling me to let it go, instead of ending the episode with 'Mom, please... Daadi, please', I too wish he got to the root of the problem and sorted it once and for all, instead of whitewashing it. Aise mein maine kya bahut zyada expect kar liya? Or am I just being greedy and ungrateful?"
Gauri shook her head, saying, "It's never greed to expect respect in return for respect; love in return for love; kindness in return for kindness. Bhabhi, I am too new to all of this, so I might not be the right person to even give you any suggestions. In fact, practically speaking, even I might hesitate to say anything in front of the whole family, but you need to talk to Bade Bhaiyya and express what you feel. It's not complaining and neither are you being ungrateful at all. It's perfectly fine to feel disappointed even after, like you said, having every materialistic happiness. Maybe what you say is also right- that Bade Bhaiyya had too many responsibilities on his shoulders. But Bhabhi, he does not have to carry them alone. He has you, his life partner, his equal, his better half to share anything and everything. After all, even a great wall needs support. And you're that; you're his support, in addition to being a strong woman yourself. Having said that, you have to let him know in time when you need support too. If you don't, he won't realize. And heaven forbid, the wall might collapse if the support isn't strong enough."
Annika pondered over Gauri's words, as she nodded. Perhaps Gauri was right. She had stayed silent for too long, hiding her feelings from Shivaay, so that he wasn't troubled. But he needed to know before things got out of hand. Also, she realized she needed to stand up for herself. She had spent way too much time feeling sorry for herself, almost losing her very spark in the process. Annika wasn't new to resilience and courage. In fact, it is what had kept her going all her life. Only thing was that now, instead of moping around and feeling helpless about it, she had to gather herself up and fight back against every brick that was thrown at her, including the ones that the 'family' threw at her. Maybe it was time for Mrs. Annika Oberoi to step back, and for 'sirf-Annika' to hold the reins of her life in her hand.
Just then, Gauri's mother and Rudra walked into the room with a tray of soup bowls. "Ooohh, mere bina gossiping? At home, O and Shivaay Bhaiyya leave me out, here my Bhabhi's leave me out. Main karoon toh kya karoon, Shalu Darling?" Annika and Gauri's eyes widened as they said in shock, "Shalu?" "Darling?"
Shalini shook her head, placing the tray on the bed, saying, "You both try this soup first. Then we'll all sit and gossip." Annika looked at Gauri at the sight of dark green soup, and Gauri was the only one who dared to stick her tongue out, "Mamma, palak ka soup? Why?" Shalini looked at Annika who had similar expressions but did not voice it out. She frowned, "Arey, Rudra drank it without any fuss! Why you two cannot drink?"
Rudra hugged her sideways and placed his head on Shalini's shoulder like a little child, saying, "Kyunki main good boy hoon na?" Shalini nodded, patting his cheek, "Bilkul. Tu toh duniya ka sabse achcha good boy hai!" Rudra grinned happily and hinting at his bhabhi's to drink the soup. "And Annika," Shalini said with a stern look, "You have to finish the whole bowl. No excuses!" Annika smiled as she picked the bowl. For the very first time, someone had shouted at her with love, just like a mother would. Her eyes glistened with tears as she took the first sip, touched at the way Shalini spoke to her. "Arey, Annika? Kya hua, bachche? Soup itna bhi bura nahi hai ke tumhe rona aa jaaye?" Shalini said.
Annika, overwhelmed, hugged Shalini and simply stayed basking in that motherly embrace as she hugged her back. Gauri watched with a smile as Rudra too jumped in to hug them both. Meanwhile, Arvind who came to the room teased Shalini by saying he too wanted a hug, making Annika and Rudra whistle. However, Arvind walked around to sit on the bed and hug Gauri, who rested her head against her Papa's shoulder while Annika and Rudra hugged Shalini.
Somewhere, Gauri'sheart felt a slight ache. Everyone, she considered her own was here, close to her, except for one person. Well, two, if she considered her Bade Bhaiyya too. But she wished that the 'one person' – her Oberoi was here too. Her mood turned dull again, but only for a moment because then she smiled as her Papa cracked some jokes and her mother blushed, while Annika and Rudra howled with laughter.