A cold shower was the only thing that got rid of the raging problem in my pants.
I leaned against the cold tile, letting the icy water fall over me to shock me out of my arousal. It had been so hard to pull away from Jade, especially with her laying there nearly naked, her eyes so full of want, and her lips so damn full and kissable and the lasting memory of what she sounded and felt like as she came burned forever into my mind. I hadn't expected for any of that to happen. I had expected her to be angry with me after the mess that I had gotten her into, for putting her life at risk and turning it all upside down, which included her job that I knew she loved and making her family and friends worry about her. I never thought for one second that she would reciprocate my kiss and crawl into my lap to kiss me like I had never been kissed before.
The girls from my time were not normally so forward, it took plenty of dates, persuasion, and flirting to get them to kiss you. And premarital sex was frowned upon of course. I had to settle for heavy petting and occasionally finding the one girl who lost all her reservations after I had gotten her to orgasm a few times with my touch or mouth that would let things go all the way. I had to boss them a bit, just a little dominance, most of them not knowing what to do in the first place without some direction. And if I was being honest, being in control back then had been a turn on for both parties, and now given that I had had no control of my own life for so long, it still turned me on. But Jade had surprised me with her brazen behavior, crawling into my lap with a need, so overcome by her feelings that she didn't care.
But Steve's voice had been in the back of my head like an annoying whisper and when I had wanted to bury myself in her so deeply that I would leave a lasting impression it got louder.
"Protection is important in this modern world, Bucky. People are... looser with their morals. Premarital sex isn't an issue anymore. And there are diseases, new ones we hadn't even heard of. Ones that don't go away. And just like back in our time no woman wants an unplanned pregnancy. So wrap it up."
I had kicked him out of my room promptly after that, when he had tried to show me pictures of said diseases. He managed to force a box of condoms into my hands before I shoved him out, the very condoms that were currently sitting in my bedside table drawer.
Still, I couldn't help, but think of the consequences of what would happen if we continued on. If we had sex, if she became my girlfriend, if I fell for her, if I loved her. If I didn't stop Hydra, she would always be in danger, just because I cared for her. They would use her to get to me, they were already doing it and I had only taken her out to eat once.
I knew that I shouldn't have sex with her, I shouldn't have feelings for her, I shouldn't bring her into my world or get into hers. But there was something about her, something that made me forget all about what I should do whenever she looked at me, when she smiled, when she laughed. I didn't know her very well, but from what I did know I liked her. I didn't want to let her go. I wanted to take it further. I wanted her to like me. I wanted to see where it went and try something normal.
I turned off the shower when I couldn't stand the cold anymore, toweling myself off and redressing in my clothes. I came out of the bathroom to find Jade sitting at the table, she had redressed and pulled her curls up into a bun, putting the dark red mark I had left on her neck on full display, something I didn't think she was aware of.
She smiled bashfully at me, looking up at me through her long lashes and the urges immediately returned. I found her incredibly beautiful, especially when she was shy or nervous and she smiled that hesitant smile at me. She was eating some beef jerky that Steve had brought and sipping water, and when I approached the table, scooting my chair closer to hers she offered the bag to me.
"How was your shower?" She asked as I reached into the bag to take some jerky. My stomach rumbled and I realized just how hungry I was.
"It was... effective," I answered with a chuckle.
She laughed softly, catching my meaning and looking down. "James... I have a confession to make."
"Oh?" I said leaning back in my chair. "What's that doll?"
She took a deep breath and looked at me, I felt my heart skip a beat. My mind went over the millions of things she could confess. What if she's really a Hydra agent? What if this is all a set up?
"I...ate your sandwich..." she admitted with a guilty look.
I let out a breathy laugh that mixed with my sigh of relief. "That's alright," I replied. "I'm sure you're starving."
She looked relieved. "I can feel my stomach eating itself."
"Well we can't have that can we?" I said rising to my feet and retrieving my discarded coat which held my phone.
"What are you doing?" She asked, looking puzzled.
"Ordering pizza," I answered as if it were obvious.
"Is that... safe?"
"It is when it's delivered by Captain America. I'll call Steve and have him bring something more substantial."
Steve answered on the first ring, assuming something was wrong of course before being relieved that I was only making a food request. He promised to come with pizza, Jade calling out that she wanted combination style and refused to eat pizza with pineapple on it.
"He's bringing pizza," I said after hanging up, setting the phone aside.
"Thank god for Captain America, huh?" She huffed.
I nodded. "He's pretty handy."
She sighed, rising from her chair. "James, can we talk?"
I got the feeling she wasn't going to confess to eating my share of the snacks again and the worry returned. "Sure, Doll. What's on your mind?"
She walked over to the bed and almost sat down on it, changing her mind at the last second. The last time one of us had asked to talk and got on that bed some amazing things had happened, but things we both agreed couldn't continue for now. The tension in the room was high and palpable. I wanted her. I knew she wanted me. But we were exercising restraint...well trying.
She remained standing instead, a safe distance away from me, as though coming near me would be too much temptation for her.
"About... what happened on the bed... the... when we...," She cleared her throat. "You know. I think that... we're doing this all wrong..."
I felt confusion cross my features. "What do you mean?"
"We're doing this backwards. Usually you're supposed to take the person you like out on a date first, get to know them, then the sex comes. Not that its wrong to do it the other way if you wish, but I just...We were about to have sex, again when I don't even remember the first time or how we really met and its not that I don't want to have sex with you. I mean I do. You're very...talented, in that area," she paused as she surveyed me, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly with a shake of her head visibly flustered. "I'm getting off track. James, would you like to go on a date with me?"
I hesitated. "You want... to date me?" I didn't know why that seemed so surprising.
She laughed nervously. "James, I do like you, you know. Is that so impossible to believe? Especially after..." she glanced quickly at the bed. "I'm not saying I'm in love or anything, but I'd like to go out with you, in the evening, and eat at a restaurant and get to know each other more before we have sex again."
Those damn butterflies were back, swarming around in my stomach, making my skin feel hot and putting a smile on my face. I didn't realize how much I missed the feeling until this exact moment.
"I'd like that, Jade. I'd like that a lot," I answered.
She came closer, just a few steps before stopping. I realized I was moving too. My body moving of its own volition, drawn to hers. I came to a stop inches away from her, her looking up at me through her lashes again. There was something about that look that sent the flames through me again.
"So we're in agreement that we'll go on a date before...we do that again?" She asked. "Just to keep things uncomplicated."
I was nodding despite the fact that I liked nothing about that idea. I didn't want to wait. I wanted to take her right then, bend her over the kitchenette table and hear those breathy little moans she made when she was close-.
"James?"
I snapped to attention. I had gotten carried away in my dirty thoughts. "Yeah?"
"So we agree?"
"Huh?"
"We'll restrain ourselves until we go on a date... after this mess?" She elaborated.
I nodded again, but my body, which suddenly had a mind of its own, was stepping toward her again. She was close now, close enough that I could reach out and take hold of her hips, feel her muscles tense at my touch, and the small sigh she let out. She looked up at me then, her eyes full of want and hesitance, her lips parting, she wanted to say something, but nothing came out. I touched her cheek, feeling a spark the moment my skin touched hers and her eyes slid close. The tension rose, wrapping around us like a thick blanket.
"James," she breathed, finally finding her voice.
"Yes?"
"We... we said we'd..."
"I know..."
I kissed her, unable to help myself, my arms wrapping around her waist to pull her against me as she moaned into my mouth and rose on tip toe to meet me. Her arms came around my neck, pulling me down, her kiss matching mine. I knew what she had said, that we should restrain ourselves, but I was hungry for her. I'd had a taste and I wanted more. It has been too long, too long since I could remember, she had awoken something in me that was desperate to be sated. Needed to be sated.
She pulled away from me panting. "We should stop... before..." she let out a heavy breath. "Before we do something we just agreed to restrain ourselves from."
I forced myself to move my hands away from her body, then step backward. My body felt irritated at the absence. I wiped my mouth, trying to remove the taste of her. It didn't work. "Right. Sorry."
She shook her head and cleared her throat again, changing the subject. "How long till Steve gets here?"
"Shouldn't be long," I said, moving away from her as much as I could. I needed distance to keep the temptation at bay. There weren't many places to go in the small confined space and I was not up for another icy shower. I ended up on the bed. "Let's, uh watch some tv."
"Sounds good," She wandered back to the kitchenette and sat down helping herself to more jerky. I was thankful she didn't join me. It would have been too much.
We watched television, her from the table, me from the bed, and the tension never dissipated. I was relieved when I heard the sounds of someone entering the access code into the door, sitting up from where I had reclined on the bed, jumping to my feet and hurrying to the door to remove the chain. I pulled it open, stopping when I saw that he wasn't alone. Sam Wilson stood behind him. Great, he brought the bird. I had a love/hate relationship with Sam. Most days I liked him, I'd even call him a friend, and then there were the other days where I had to resist the strong temptation to punch him.
"Oh thank god," I heard Jade call behind me before anyone could speak. She was out of her chair and rushing towards us. "Steve, I could kiss you right now," she exclaimed, brushing past me. And she did. She leaned around the pizza boxes in his hands and kissed him right on the cheek with a wet smack. Steve turned red instantly, smiling sheepishly at her and glancing warily at me. I frowned. "I'm starving to death!" She took the pizza boxes out of his hands and made for the table, pausing briefly to look back at Steve and Sam. "Oh, and hi Mr. Falcon."
"It's just Sam when I'm not in uniform," Sam chuckled. "And hello to you too."
She nodded at him and went back to the table, opening the boxes and groaning at the sight of the still steaming pizza. She made no hesitations about waiting for me or anyone else, pulling out a slice and sliding into a chair taking her first bite which called another groan out of her.
I stepped back so Steve and Sam could enter, shutting the door behind them. Sam was still watching Jade, something I noticed and didn't like. "Damn that girl can eat," he commented with amusement.
I ignored him. "Any word on our Hydra situation?" I asked in a low voice, standing closely to them so Jade didn't hear.
"Don't you worry about that," Steve said. "I told you I got it covered."
"I know you got it covered, but do you have any intel or-."
Steve raised a hand. "I told you that I have it covered. You just worry about keeping Jade safe here."
"Sounds like Bucky is getting the fun job while we have to do all the hard work," Sam mumbled, making me turn my scowl on him. He was still watching Jade.
My blood began to boil. "Watch it, Bird," I warned with a glare.
"Don't start you two," Steve said in his fatherly tone. He was always playing referee between us.
Sam still hadn't stopped looking at her. "I gotta tell ya, Bucky, I never thought you'd be down with the swirl."
"Down with the- what? What the hell is he talking about?" I asked Steve.
"He means being in an interracial relationship. Cut it out, Sam," Steve said, nudging him with his elbow.
"What? I'm just saying! I mean," he tilted his head as he watched Jade enjoying her slice of pizza, somehow completely oblivious to our whispered conversation. "I don't blame you man she's...something else."
I felt my fists clench, but before I could punch his lights out like I desperately felt the need to do at the moment, Steve was putting a hand on my chest, noticing something.
"Is that... a hickey on Jade's neck?"
Oh here we go. "Calm down, Dad. Nothing happened."
Steve huffed. "Uh, the evidence says otherwise," he said pointing at her.
I hit his hand out of the air and gave him a warning glare. I didn't want to see her get all embarrassed and flushed again because of Steve's lack of subtlety. Even though I found it incredibly adorable.
"Will ya stop it? We just kissed...a lot...and some other stuff, okay? That's all. Nothing that's gonna put a super soldier kid in her. Trust me I remember your whole PSA about the need for condoms. I'm scarred for life from it. Now stop it before she hears you."
"'And some other stuff'?" Steve looked at me incredulously ignoring the rest of what I said. "What does that mean?"
"A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell," I shrugged.
Sam seemed confused. "Wait, you don't want the man getting some action?"
"No, I just want him to get some action safely," Steve rolled his eyes.
"Good lord, stop cockblocking the man. He can pull out for god sake," Sam frowned at Steve.
Steve shook his head in response to Sam's declaration. "Statistics say that pulling out is only-."
"Can you not start with your Wikipedia statistics right now," Sam cut in, holding up a hand. "I should have never showed you how to google."
Steve looked offended. "I do not use Wiki-."
Sam cut him off. "He's your friend. Your best friend. You're supposed to be helping him out and encouraging this kind of stuff. You know, be his wingman."
"I am! But it doesn't mean I want him to have a kid with someone he barely knows!" Steve replied back in a harsh whisper, motioning to Jade.
Oh for Christ sake. I rubbed my eyes in frustration. Today was definitely a hate day for Sam and Steve.
"Can we talk about something else please?" I questioned through clenched teeth.
Sam and Steve shared a glance, but fell silent.
"I see being with her has done nothing to change your grumpy attitude," Sam grumbled, shoving his hands in his pockets.
I met his comment with a scowl, turning to Steve. "Why did you bring him again?"
Steve chuckled. "And that is our cue to leave."
"What did I do?" Sam asked, pointing to himself. "I was on his side."
Steve ignored him, shoo-ing him toward the door. "Let's just go, Sam. We'll be back at 7 am sharp," he paused to turn back to where Jade was reaching for a third slice. "Goodbye Jade."
"Bye!" She called waving, happily taking a bite of her pizza.
Steve paused to give me one more look. "You be...careful."
"Yeah. Yeah," I answered rolling my eyes.
I shut the door on him and joined Jade at the tables. She was already offering me a slice before my butt hit the chair. We sat at the table talking while we ate. She seemed to relax once she got some food in her and was telling me stories about her work experiences again, about her mom and dad, and about Iris and Iris's nieces and nephews who she was close to. I still loved to listen to her talk. I felt like I could do it for hours. Before I knew it we were done eating and sitting on the bed together, side by side and leaning our backs against the headboard, Jade had shifted the conversation away from herself and to me and my immersion into the modern world.
"What movies have you seen?"
"I don't really watch too many movies."
"Well, have you seen any movies since waking up in the 21st century?"
"Ummm....I saw Casablanca that was pretty good."
She frowned. "Oh my god, James, that movie is almost as old as you. I mean something recent?"
I shook my head. "The guys at the compound have a regular movie night but I always skip it. Natasha picks the worst movies, Clint takes up the good couch, Sam hogs the popcorn, Thor asks too many questions and Tony always falls asleep halfway through and snores."
She laughed. "The Avengers have movie night? That's adorable. Sounds fun."
I huffed. "Well feel free to stop by any Wednesday night and be subjected to torture."
She hesitated, a blush touching her cheek before she even spoke. "Maybe you'd enjoy a movie night at my place better? I could kick Iris out and I could cook for you and introduce you to some quality films...?"
"I don't know, is it really worth the risk to your life to watch a movie together?" I joked and then immediately regretted it. Yes, Barnes, just remind her how dangerous it is to be in your vicinity when she's trying to ask you out.
She smiled shyly. "I'd risk it... for you."
My throat went dry and I felt my own cheeks heat up. I got the sudden urge to kiss her again at that moment and licked my lips, looking away before I did. "Well if you're willing to risk it, I'd love to."
"Good, we've already planned the proper date then."
I nodded, smiling at her. "Yeah, it's a date."
***
I couldn't sleep.
It was nearing midnight, I was full from the pizza, the motel bed was surprisingly comfortable, but after laying there in the darkness I still hadn't managed to drift off. We had decided to go to bed after Bucky reminded me of how early Steve was showing up to transport us and the fact that neither of us had gotten much sleep since last night. I had felt exhausted when I had first climbed into the bed, but now laid there with wide open eyes, staring at the wall, my mind racing, replaying everything that had happened in the past 24 hours.
Bucky was in the bed behind me, a safe distance away, so that temptation didn't get the better of us. I was happy that we had come to an agreement about our situation, something that I had been warring with myself about since the steamy encounter we had earlier. He had been nothing, but a gentleman since the decision, not touching me once despite promising to have me screaming his name once he got me back to his room; surprising me at how quickly he went from a confident sex god to a quiet sweet gentleman like he had flipped some switch. But I was thankful he had because if he had touched me again I didn't think I would have been able to resist.
It was why I had brought up the idea of restraining ourselves until we had a proper date, until we knew each other better, until I had any idea of just what the hell was happening. I had started out not wanting to date. Not wanting to be anything more than friends, but quickly had to come to terms with the fact that I liked the guy, especially after everything that had happened. And I did want to give him a chance. And there was also the fact that the man was gorgeous and that there was just something about him that made it hard to think clearly and made me want to be in his arms. But if I was going to date again, I wanted to do it the right way for me. I wanted to get to know him better before I let the physical stuff complicate things. Even if I found it very hard to resist him and temptation.
"What's on your mind doll?"
I jumped at the sound of Bucky's voice. I had thought that he had fallen asleep already. He hadn't made a peep for the past hour while I was staring at the wall. "Jesus, James, are you trying to give me a heart attack?" I asked rolling over to find him lying on his back, one arm bent with his head resting on his hand. I settled onto my side facing him.
"Sorry," he replied with a soft chuckle. "Can't sleep?"
"Yeah...I just have a lot on my mind."
"I can tell," he sighed, reaching across the distance between us and taking my hand in his. He did it so naturally, like we were a regular couple sharing a bed. I felt heat race up my arm at the simple contact, surprising me at my body's reaction to the innocent touch. "I'm sorry-."
"James, you don't have to keep apologizing. It's really not your fault."
He shifted on the bed, turning his body to face mine which brought him a little closer. I immediately felt a pull from him, a desire to scoot closer, like we were magnetized to each other. I resisted the urge.
"It feels like it is. I got you into this mess and you might lose your job which I know you love from the way you talk about it and...and I don't think I can ever make up for it."
Well you were off to a good start earlier, I thought my mind going back to what had transpired between us. The heat intensified at the memory and there was a noticeable wetness between my thighs.
I tried to swallow down the desire that was welling up in me. "You don't have to make it up to me, James. Like I said, it's not your fault."
His hand released mine and moved to my face, sending tingles as his fingers grazed my cheek. I bit back the moan that wanted to fall from my lips at the pleasure of his touch. "I promise I am gonna get you out of this and back to your normal life," he whispered.
I nodded once, my body scooting closer to his instinctually, caught in his gravitational pull and lost in his blue gaze, unable to ignore his siren call. There was still distance between us, but not much.
"I know you will," I whispered back.
The air in the room changed, it got heated and electric and he was scooting again, closing the space between us, his body touching mine, and this time I couldn't bite back the moan in time. It fell from my lips as I was pressed into him, my chest to his, his breath warm against my cheek.
"You make it really hard to resist you, Sugar," he sighed longingly, his fingers leaving my cheek to slide around the back of my neck, rubbing the nape, sending shivers down my spine.
Doll. Sugar. Those damn pet names, the way they sounded coming off his lips, in that rough tone of his and with that hint of an accent I couldn't quite place, made me hot just from the sound. And combined with his touch I was quickly forgetting about any arrangements made.
How do we keep ending up here?
"You have no idea what you do to me," he continued.
My heart started to race in my chest and I was breathless. "I-I'm not doing anything," I stammered out in a whisper.
"Oh, but you are," his arm encircled me, pressing me into him further and I could feel everything. "You're just so damn beautiful," he leaned in, his lips brushing mine as he spoke. "And I can't stop thinking about how you sound when you come," And the sex god is back. "And how fucking amazing you feel when you do." He kissed me swallowing another moan that involuntarily fell from my lips.
I was instantly lost in him, his hands sliding down the side of my body, slipping under my shirt, calloused fingers caressing my skin. My whole body was on fire. I was practically dripping. And he'd barely touched me.
"James," I whimpered. "We should...mmm should... oh god."
His mouth was on my throat again, sucking on that spot of my neck that sent shockwaves throughout my body. "I know, Sugar. I know," he groaned.
Still he didn't stop. His mouth traveled up to my jaw kissing my lips again. My hands curled into fists around the material of his shirt already feeling on edge from the anticipation and tension alone. The ache that had started the moment he had taken my hand was burning now and I needed something.
Screw it. Forget the proper date.
I pulled away from his kiss, feeling bold and demanding in my heated state. "James, I-I... I need...touch me."
I heard a deep rumble in his chest at my request, one hand sliding up to grab a handful of my curls and pull my head back, exposing my throat further. I yelped in surprise, my inner walls clenching and aching.
"Ask me nicely," he ordered, teeth nipping at the sensitive flesh above my pulse.
I should have been ashamed of the response from my body at his bossiness.
"Please," I whispered shamelessly. "Please touch me."
"Good girl," he praised, his flesh hand moving to slide into the waistband of my sweats, before kissing me again.
He groaned in satisfaction to what he found there, me dripping with arousal, my hips grinding down against his palm, rotating in small circles trying to create the friction I craved. The ache was relentless and I would take relief in any way that I could get it. He pushed his knee between my legs, spreading them and effectively making me straddle his leg on my side. I could feel his need pressed right at my hip and when my body, which suddenly had a goal of its own, rocked against his it rubbed along his erection coaxing a moan from him. It was the sexiest sound I ever heard.
"You are so wet," he sighed, his pointer and middle finger sliding easily between my folds and into me. "Is this all for me, Sugar?"
I gasped loudly, nodding and feeling my walls clamp down on his fingers tightly, my body immediately starting to work myself on the thrusting digits, rubbing against the hardness between us simultaneously. I heard Bucky's breath hitch in his throat, the soft moan that escaped his lips, felt him press his erection against my moving body and knew immediately that he was benefiting from the friction between us. It only turned me on more to hear his response, to know that he was getting some pleasure out of this and we weren't having sex.
I whimpered when Bucky's thumb began circling my clit in time to his thrusting fingers, sending me rushing faster to the edge. "James, please."
He groaned right at my ear, spurring me on, speeding up his movements, which only made me rub against him faster. He hissed sharply at the increased speed. "Jesus, you keep that up and I'm gonna cum in my damn jeans," he warned.
His words sent a rush through me. I felt ravenous for his touch, for his mouth, for everything about him. Something that was foreign to me. I had never felt like this about anyone. I had never considered myself a sexual person. I could live without it. It wasn't something that I needed like Iris insisted. But this. It was becoming quite clear that if we kept on, if it was always this good, then I wouldn't be able to live without this. I reached up and slid my fingers into his hair, hearing his growl in response just before my lips found his in a searing kiss.
His fingertips turned upward and put pressure on that spot, making me arch into him. He beckoned me towards orgasm, curling his fingers and calling to me repeatedly over that same spot. The storm was brewing again, ready to blow through me, I felt my legs start to shake and my fingers dig into his scalp. I tried to keep the orgasm at bay, to savor that moment of ecstasy, being right on the edge, all the build up and all the pleasure sitting there, waiting to explode.
"Come on," he ordered. "Be a good girl and come."
I felt the first lightning strike of the storm before it raged and the orgasm burst through me. I was crying out again, long and loud, my head thrown back, whole body tense and shivering as the orgasm throbbed for what seemed like forever. I struggled to catch my breath, to regain some composure, looking at Bucky to see him staring down at me with lust blown eyes. The orgasm may have died down, but the desire within me hadn't. I wanted him and I suddenly didn't care that we didn't have protection or that this probably wasn't a good idea. I needed to be filled. I needed more than this second and third base back seat of the car stuff. I wanted the real deal.
He gave me another needy kiss, pulling away, panting as hard as I was. "I want you," he growled against my lips. "God, I want you so bad, Sugar."
"James, please... I need... Please." I was begging again, unable to form a coherent demand. I needed more. So much more.
"You're killing me," he groaned. His fingers continued to move in and out of me slowly pushing me right back to the place where I was before. "We shouldn't Sugar... We should stop..." He continued to kiss me even as he spoke, his words falling right into my lips.
"I know," I breathed, but I didn't want to stop, pressing into him again to show him just how much I didn't want too.
He hesitated, just a few seconds, his eyes searching mine. I could see the battle he was having with himself, but the reservations slipped away quickly, and his mouth was back on mine. It turned into a mad rush then, his mouth trying to stay attached to mine or any other part of me that it could, while trying to undress me. My hands were on his belt, undoing it quickly, going for the button. Soon my sweats were discarded on the floor, my shirt and bra quickly followed, his shirt went after mine and his jeans undone, pushed halfway down his hips as he settled between my legs.
I tensed in preparation, ready for the mixture of pleasure and pain that I knew was coming. To say that he was big was to say the least and I vividly remembered the soreness I felt when I woke up the morning after our drunken sex. I could feel the thick length of him against my inner thigh and my hips lifted towards it anxiously. Bucky's mouth left mine, his hand came down on my hip, holding me down to the mattress, preventing me from moving.
"Be still," he commanded. I stilled immediately, licking my lips and staring up into those blue eyes waiting for him to do something. I could see the hesitation had come back now that we were close to the task. "Are you sure?" He breathed leaning in until our noses touched and his lips were less than an inch away from mine.
I nodded. I was very sure that this was what I wanted. I was taking the Iris advised approach. Screw now, consequences later.
"Use your words," he said in that commanding tone that I was growing to love.
"Y-yes, I'm sure," I stammered quickly, marveling at my ability to actually string three words together.
His hips pressed forward slowly, one hand wrapped around himself as a guide, I could feel his thick head teasing my opening. "If I hurt you, you say the word and I'll stop."
"I will. I will," I whimpered impatiently. "Please-."
He stilled above me, his body tensing, his eyes snapping open and darting to the window.
"James? What's wrong?" I panted.
He said nothing, only remained still, head tilted, eyes on the black out curtains as if he were listening to something I couldn't hear. I strained to hear, and heard nothing. He jumped to his feet, pulling his jeans up and rushing to the window, moving the curtain, just enough to peek one eye out and his face set into a frown.
"Jade," he said as I sat up, pulling the sheet up to cover myself. "Get your clothes back on. Now."
***
I had been so wrapped up in her that I had almost missed it. The unmistakable sound of a large engine approaching, larger than any vehicle that Steve would typically be driving, it was something heavy, armored. It was when I focused that I could really hear it, the different voices inside, the sound of the safety being turned off of assault rifles as they were cocked.
How the hell did they find us?
I froze above her, prepared to enter into her heaven, having to pull away from her felt like dying. But checking the window I could see the large armored vehicle right outside in the empty parking lot.
They were here. For me. For her.
There were at least 6 of them, maybe more from the different voices I had heard. They hadn't exited the vehicle yet, they were still going over the plan, checking and loading their weapons. They would storm the door, secure the asset, me, and the girl if need be. They assumed that we were sleeping given the late hour and that they would have the element of surprise. That was their first mistake.
"Jade," I called to her, looking back to see that she was still on the bed, looking confused and worried, clutching the sheet to her chest. "Get your clothes back on. Now."
She didn't hesitate, she was out of the bed and pulling her sweats back on in a second as I righted my clothes and went for the handgun that I had hidden in the bedside table. I had to get her out. There was no way that I could protect her against 6 armed men with just me. There was a window in the bathroom, it was high and small, but she could fit through with a minor struggle. She could get back to the city in a few hours on foot if she hauled ass and stayed headed east. They wouldn't expect me to send her out alone, not if they assumed we were sleeping. I had minutes, if not seconds, to get her out.
I turned the safety off the gun, cocked it, and went for my go bag, pulling out a wad of cash and my cellphone before retrieving her discarded messenger bag, and putting the gun, money, and my phone, which still had a good amount of charge, inside. I looked up to see her standing near the bed, fully clothed and shoes on, her eyes wide with panic. I walked to the bed and pulled out the assault rifle I had stashed beneath it, pulling the strap over my body to hang at my back before I put the messenger bag over her body, leaving it hanging across her. She didn't say anything as I took her by the arm and pulled her with me to the bathroom. I shut the door behind us and climbed onto the toilet to reach the window, unlocking it and pushing it open.
"James," her voice was shaking. She was shaking. "What's happening?"
"They're here, they're coming in any second," her eyes widened.
"They can't do anything here right? The motel has to be full of people...r-right?" She reasoned.
"Go out the window, run as far as you can to the east, towards the city, find a place, somewhere public, call Steve and tell him the safe house has been compromised. You shoot anyone that comes near you before then. You hear me? I mean anyone that isn't me. You trust no one, but Steve. The safety is off so be careful."
She was already shaking her head before I had finished, her eyes darting up to the window and back at me. "James I-I have never shot a gun and...and... t-that window is too small, what about you?"
"You just point and shoot, doll. And don't worry about me. I'm gonna hold them off and then I will catch up," I offered her my hand, grabbing her wrist when she stood there frozen. I pulled her up to the toilet with me, her hands immediately clinging to me. I could hear doors to the vehicle opening outside. "Go, Jade. Now."
"James, I-I can't just leave you- I can't-," she stuttered.
"I'll be fine. You have to go."
"No. I can't. I just can't! I-."
"Jade!" I snapped as I heard the sound of footsteps approaching the door. She startled at the boom of my voice and fell silent. I sighed, taking her face into my hands, running my thumbs across her soft cheeks. Her eyes were watery as she looked up at me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I can't let them get you. They would...I just can't. So you have to go. Please. I will be fine." I kissed her then, pouring as much passion as I could into a seconds long kiss; turning her towards the window when I pulled away, lifting her up by the hips so she could reach. She gripped the sides of the frame, but still paused to look down at me, her brown eyes full of fear. I could hear their whispers at the door. They were counting down. Shit. I tried to smile at her, to be reassuring, anything to just get her out. "Go, Sugar," I called up to her. "Please go."
She pulled the bag from her body and dropped it out the window first before hoisting herself up and wiggling through the window. I was right. She fit through. I heard her feet hit the ground outside, followed by a pained grunt and then her scrambling to her feet, her hurried footsteps and pants as she ran away. It was then that I heard the room door burst open.
***
Pain shot up my legs when I landed on the cement ground, barely managing to stay upright before taking off in a run down the back of the long building.
East. East. Which way is fucking east?!
The amount of panic and fear that I felt the night Hydra had first tried to take me was nothing compared to what I was feeling now. And I was leaving Bucky behind to fend for himself, something that I hadn't wanted to do, knowing that I might never see him again. He had said that he would catch up, but I realized that he didn't tell me where to meet him. Didn't put a plan in place for me to find him again. A sense of dread came over me at that thought, that he had sent me out alone to sacrifice himself. That he would be back under Hydra's control, the things that they would do to him, the things that they would make him do.
He'll catch up. He will. He found me last time. He will find me again, I assured myself.
I jumped when I heard the sounds of gunshots behind me, stopping and pressing myself into the wall, looking back in the direction of the room. I got the strong urge to go back, feeling the need to do something, but knowing I would be useless. I would just be another distraction. I would do him no good going back there.
Steve. I have to call Steve. He will come. He'll get Bucky and he will fix it.
I resumed running, to put distance between me and the building. I would get to the trees and hide there to make the call. I rounded the corner of the building, trying to get to the tree line when I bumped right into something that felt like a brick wall sending me falling backward.
My butt hit the ground hard, looking up to find the Hans Gruber wanna be standing over me with a smile on his face, his arms crossed over his chest.
Oh shit.
"Ah, there you are, домашнее животное," he taunted. "Did you miss me?"
I dug inside the messenger bag blindly and quickly, feeling the weight of the gun handle in my hand before pulling it out and aiming it right at him with shaking hands, my heart pounding in my chest. Shoot him. Just shoot him. James told you too. Just do it. My finger was on the trigger, but I was filled with hesitation. I had never fired a gun. I didn't like violence. I was definitely a lover, not a fighter.
Hans Wanna Be seemed completely unphased by the gun aimed at him, he actually laughed. "Has Активы taught you to shoot?" he said, stepping towards me. "How cute."
My finger tightened on the trigger, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I just couldn't. I felt ashamed of my own cowardice. I didn't drop the gun. "Who the hell are you? What do you want?" I found my voice finally, I struggled to keep it steady.
"My name is Dimitri," he touched his chest. "And I want you, домашнее животное."
"Stop calling me that," I had no idea what it meant, but I knew I didn't like it. "You want me for what?"
He looked up thoughtfully as though he were choosing his words. "To give Активы a little motivation to...cooperate," he said as though it should have been obvious. He knelt down so we were eye level. "We've been watching him for months, waiting and waiting, for him to show a sign of weakness. Something that would make it easier to bring him home." I felt my teeth clench at the use of that word. Bucky was home already. "And we thought it might never happen... and then you came along. And he's smiling and nervous outside of your apartment and we just knew then that now was our chance."
"He barely knows me. We went on one date," I snapped. "And it wasn't really a date!"
Dimitri chuckled again. "And yet he protects you so fiercely and I see his mark on your neck."
My heart skipped a beat in my chest at those words and one hand went to my neck. I hadn't realized that he had marked me but the way he had been sucking on my neck I was not that surprised. I tried to think up a lie for it, an explanation of why, something to dissuade this man's idea of my importance to Bucky, but could think of nothing. Bucky had put his life on the line for me. He could have just let them take me. He could have left me on my own. And he hadn't. He'd been worried and protective of me from the start. And they knew. And if they had only come after him because I had come into his life this meant that it was my fault.
He continued in my silence. "Now, you can come willingly, and I won't hurt that pretty face. Or you can make this hard by trying to shoot me and force my hand."
I swallowed hard. I couldn't fight him. I knew that much. And for some reason I couldn't bring myself to pull the trigger. My thoughts went to Bucky. "I-If I come willingly, do you promise not to hurt James?"
He laughed again. I hated the sound of it. "Ah, домашнее животное, I'm hoping that if I have you it will make him promise not to hurt me," he said jokingly as he touched his chest.
"What are you going to do to him?" I was afraid of the answer.
"Like I said, bring him home," he straightened. "And if he cooperates, comes willingly, I promise that I won't hurt him or you. Trust me, he's no good to me, hurt or dead."
I didn't have very many options. I was going one way or the other. I couldn't fight him and I knew that I didn't have it in me to shoot anyone. But at least this way they wouldn't hurt Bucky. He could get us out of this.
I lowered the gun and Dimitri's smile widened, he offered me a hand which I reluctantly took, allowing him to yank me to my feet. He took the gun from my hand and took my arm, held me firmly, rounding the building and dragging me along.
I could hear the sounds of chaos as we approached the room that had been the safe room. There were two armed men in tactical gear outside, guns aimed, waiting for Bucky to come out. Bucky was fighting for his life inside judging from the sounds of fighting and faint pains and groans I could hear from outside. I was surprised that no other guests had come out, that no management staff had either, but then noticed the empty parking lot, the fact that the window that led to the office was darkened and had the closed sign on display. Was anyone else here? Dimitri neared the room and came to a stop, pointing the gun in the air and firing off, yelling in a booming voice that made me flinch.
"У меня есть твоя игрушка. Выходите добровольно, и я не убью ее!"
The sounds of the struggling from inside the room stopped abruptly, and soon Bucky's broad frame darkened the door. He was holding an assault rifle which he had aimed right at Dimitri. His face fell at the sight of me and Dimitri grabbed me, pulling me against his chest just as he had the night he tried to kidnap me. The cold metal of the gun barrel was pressed against my temple and my heart stuttered in my chest. Bucky's face fell into a mask of rage and he stepped towards us prompting Dimitri to cock the gun.
"One more step and I shoot her."
Bucky froze, but maintained his aim.
Bucky's face softened as his eyes found mine. I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I wanted to apologize, to tell him that I tried to get away. None of it came out. "It's okay, Sugar," he said, surprising me, like he could read my mind. His eyes went back to Dimitri. "Let her go," he called, lowering the weapon and raising his hands in surrender. "Let her go and I will come with no fight."
"On your knees," Dimitri replied. "Toss the gun away."
Bucky slowly sank to his knees, tossing the gun away as he was told putting his hands behind his head on instinct. Dimitri nodded wordlessly to one of the other soldiers who went to the van and retrieved a heavy metal bar with cuffs on the ends, which he used to roughly restrain Bucky. The soldier stood behind him, with the gun aimed right at his head.
"Okay you got me now let her go," Bucky growled.
Dimitri nodded again and the soldier behind Bucky hit him with the butt of his gun, hard and right in the back of the head. He fell forward, unconscious. I felt my stomach drop. "No! You said you wouldn't hurt him!"
He shrugged. "I lied."
I didn't see him raise the gun, only felt the bluntness of it strike me before I was falling. I was unconscious before I hit the ground.