Writer's note:
I am stealing the Marina plotline for this chapter... Next one will probably be the last, followed perhaps by an epilogue. I have taken once again, historical liberties, even though apparently it is nice to swim in Cornwall as it has many beaches (I looked that up). See you at the next one.
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Dearest Reader,
I am fully aware of the irony of I, of all people stating the following but I find the incessant gossiping about Mrs. Bridgertons whereabouts cruel and unnecessary. Just because a woman is married does not that make her a prisoner and that she should stay with her husband all days of the week. Women have the right to visit their friends, since when is het needed to spin stories about their absences?
That said this author is thoroughly convinced that the Viscount and Viscountess are still very much in love with each other and would implore anyone to hold their wicked tongues and to mind their own business.
Yours sincerely,
Lady Whistledown
"Surprised to see you in Cornwall" he stated nonchalantly after Mara asked him to take a seat.
Henry acted as if he weren't aware that she had left London, that he had figured she would go to her friend Lily and stay there, and more importantly that... there was trouble in paradise in her marriage. The buffoon of a Bridgerton had made a fatal error and apparently visited his old 'fling', an opera singer, and was spotted, most likely by Emma when he left the theatre after her farewell performance. When he heard he had chuckled for several minutes and understood that he had a chance now, a chance to get her back, an opportunity to right the wrongs.
Henry loved her still, yes, he had made a mistake in the past but that was over now... If Mara divorced that idiot, they could try to get back together. He was certain she would object, rightfully so in the beginning but he would do anything to redeem herself in her eyes.
She was the one for him, mind you he had enjoyed the company of others since his split and newfound bachelordom but when he lied in his bed afterwards, he thought of her, no matter how many times he tried not to. Henry would remember her smile, the way she embraced and kissed him, sweetly and shyly, even after six years and how that made him melt time and time again. He would remember how her friendly, striking eyes would light up whenever she saw him, how she felt in his arms, as if she were always supposed to be there.
Henry recollected the times when they used to sit in his parents' house drawing room in quietness, having no need to converse much, just enjoying each other's company. It had been enough; it had been everything and he had given it up like a damn fool.
Nowadays Henry felt restless, even when he tried to get some sleep, and felt like he was endlessly chasing something he couldn't grasp no matter how many times he got close It took him a while to understand that was missing in his life... was her, only her.
Fate had given him the opportunity to make amends and by God he was going to grab it with his own hands.
"I wanted to stay a couple of days near the sea and thought I'd play Lily a visit as well she stammered while flushing lightly, inwardly hoping he had bought the lie.
Henry had not but he wasn't going to let that on.
"Of course, after all she is a good friend of yours. When is she coming back? Would like to say hello to her and her husband but they have been out some time the butler told me".
"I think that they'll be back shortly... but ehm what brings you to Cornwall?", Mara inquired, and he blinked in slight confusion and then smiled at her.
"Really Mara? Have you forgotten that my aunt Stella resides her? You and I used to visit her sometimes after all" he playfully teased.
"Ah yes. I hope she is well?" Mara replied nervously because how could she have forgotten indeed and just travel here without considering the possibility of running into him here, how small that chance might be.
"Yes, thank you. She sends her regards; says you should drop by for tea if you have the time one day".
"How kind of her" Mara nervously answered.
"How ehm is your little boy" Mara inquired because it was the polite thing to do. Henry's face quickly left in a frown, but he remained quiet for several minutes and then slowly spoke next.
"Don't you know? He's not mine, Mara. Lauren lied to me. " Henry explained after a long silence.
"Excuse me?" she asked him shocked into total bewilderment which prompted Henry to tell her that Lauren had gotten pregnant by her then boyfriend, but he had abandoned her and that moment everything clicked in Mara's head.
She understood exactly why Lauren, who had never shown any interest in meeting Henry before, insisted on doing so. Why she had felt compelled to seduce her niece's fiancée so she could avoid a scandal of epic proportions and a lifetime of shame.
Deep down Mara knew that this idea must have originated from Lauren's mother and that Lauren would no doubt have had a hard time carrying out this 'plan' but still she had gone through with it, changing the lives of three people forever.
At his moment she was feeling anger, sadness but also, somehow compassionate towards Lauren. Mara wished that Lauren had opened to her, maybe she could have helped in a way even though Mara did not know he could have. But there had to have been better options than going about things this way...
"Lauren confessed the day she signed the divorce papers; saying she couldn't lie any longer, that it was getting too hard for her, that I was going to separate from her anyway and that she was going to notify you too and was going to send you a letter to explain and apologize. Did you get it?"
Mara had indeed had it but had immediately torn it up without opening it.
"I have made sure that Lauren and her son will be comfortable and will have nothing to wish for financially. On paper the child is still a Carrington but without the associated privileges, until we find his father of course and then we will have to change his name"; he added a bit business-like as if he were formulating the stipulations to one of his trading contracts.
"Oh... I see" was all she could utter. Mara instantly felt bad for that little boy, that was going to lose the only father figure he had so far.
All the sudden the two glanced at each other and there was a flicker of regret to be read in both pairs of eyes as they involuntarily thought of the plans they had together, the dreams they had wanted to pursue together, like taking a trip to the far East together, of the wedding that didn't happen.... all those things that were supposed to have occurred but did not.
Fate had intervened but fate had made a mess of their love and lives pummelling through like a desert storm and leaving nothing behand. Mara averted her gaze for it was slightly unnerving to look at him directly, but he drew her attention once more the next moment and she turned her gaze back to him.
"I understand now what the consequences were of the error I committed. I wish things were different that I had never- "he began but then shook his head and sighed. Mara didn't say anything in return as she didn't know what to say to him, what could she say? She could acknowledge his regret, that she saw that he was regretful but what would that change between them? Nothing.
"Sorry for not inquiring earlier but how is Mr. Bridgerton? Is he here as well?" Henry inquired a littttleeee too innocently breaking the silence after they had not talked in what seemed to be ten minutes.
"No, Anthony is not here as he had some business to attend to in London " she replied quickly hoping he once again buy the lie but once more he did not.
"Ah right of course" Henry replied only knowing full well that she was lying, yet he wasn't going to tell her that was he?
"Well, I think I'd better be going.... It was nice to see you again. Will you say hello to Lily for me?" Henry asked cheerfully.
"I will" she smiled back; a bit glad the conversation was over, and she could go her room to recover from this sudden 'meeting'. It was a shock to see him, after all these months and even though she had told him to stay away from her; Henry still had some sort of an effect on Mara.
He bowed and walked away toward the door but turned back just before.
"I have an idea but only if you are also so inclined, Mara. If you're against it, I will gladly retract my suggestion, but would you mind terribly if I came by again Friday? I have some appointments tomorrow and the day after, but my schedule is free at the end of the week. I would like to say hello to Lily and her husband since I haven't seen them today" Henry explained again innocently.
Mara wasn't quite sure what to think. On the one hand she wanted to say no somewhere yet on the other.... he indicated that he wished to see Lily and Elijah, which wasn't odd at all. He got along well with both when they were still together.
"Not at all, I'll tell them you'll visit us tomorrow" Mara answered politely.
"Brilliant, I hope two o'clock will suffice?" asked Henry and Mara nodded in response.
"Then I'll see you tomorrow" he said as he turned and walked away, struggling to suppress the urge to smile for phase A of the plan had succeeded....
""Henry... how wonderful to see you again" said Lily slightly coyly as she glanced doubtfully at Mara.
"Likewise, Lily. It is always nice to be in the company of good, old friends" Henry replied as he took a sip of his tea.
"Will you be staying here long... in Cornwall I mean?" asked Lily innocently.
"As long as my aunt will have me" smiled Henry to which Lily again looked at Mara with a doubtful expression. Elijah asked Henry about his job and the family business and soon the two were engaged in a conversation until the guest felt it was time to go.
"It was a pleasure to have you " said Lily hoping there would be no more follow-up visits, but her husband apparently decided otherwise.
"Henry... Come to dinner with us on Monday and you can talk about that new product idea of yours again. I don't think I quite understood what it entails" suggested Elijah.
"Good idea darling but we are forgetting about this aunt? We wouldn't like to deprive her of your company again now, would we?" retorted Lily to which Elijah mumbled something of "oh yes of course, didn't think of it".
"I am certain that she won't mind. I would love to come to dinner" Henry replied. He looked at Mara, who had been practically silent all afternoon to his dismay, and he didn't know why. She seemed to be rather absent and gave brief answers when someone addressed her, even to him. They had been reminiscing about the past and their joint outings and Henry brought up a specific memory that he wanted to share.
"Mara, do you remember the time me and Elijah went for a swim when you and Lily specifically warned it was still too cold to do so and we ended up having the flu for a week?" Henry chuckled upon which Elijah joined him in doing so.
"Oh yes, that was some very poor judgment on our parts" Lily's husband laughed but he hadn't got a satisfying reaction from Mara at all.
"I do, yes" she replied, granted she had given him a quick smile along with her answer, but the encounter wasn't satisfactory at all, and he hadn't gotten her alone to his irritation as Lily made sure the two remained at 'distance'. But maybe Monday he would have another shot.
"Well see you soon then" Henry smiled before thanking his hostess and making an exit.
That night in their room, Lily finally let her husband Elijah in on her doubts. She was in her nightgown, having finally freed her unruly curly hair from the twenty or so pins that had kept it in place.
"I wish you hadn't invited him." she sighed.
"Why darling? Henry has been our friend for many years" Elijah retorted as he began to undress.
"That might be true, but things are different now. Back then she was engaged to Henry now she isn't anymore" Lily said with a frown.
"I, I don't like the way he looks at her.... Nor do I believe that he 'suddenly' went to visit his aunt. He clearly has ulterior motives; and is keen on getting her back ".
"Even if he had ulterior motives as you say it wouldn't change things. After all, she's still married and as far as you've told me, Mara hasn't initiated divorce proceedings yet" Elijah argued as he joined her in the bed.
"This is true, but something just doesn't sit right with me. I find it odd that he still seeks her out, he should know better and think of both their reputations" Lily concluded as she lay down. Her husband soon pulled her into her arms and kissed her forehead.
"If it will make you feel better then promise I won't invite him back after Monday. Alright?" he said, and Lily nodded.... He then lifted her chin to his face and kissed her, when he made no move to stop and in fact turned to lie on her she broke the kiss and smiled at him.
"Elijah... We have a guest!" she playfully warned.
"I know that, but I have no doubt that Mara is already asleep and besides her room is on the second floor.... She won't be able to hear us" he said with a grin, claiming her lips again a moment later.
**************
The evening proceeded somewhat awkwardly, as Lily and Elijah did their best to keep the conversation going but uncomfortable stilted conversations fell here and there. Mara again said practically nothing; aside from politely answering how she was doing. It irritated him immensely, but he couldn't say anything about it, not in the company of the lord and lady of the house.
After dinner, the Edgewood's were suddenly called away, apparently Elijah's father had suddenly felt unwell, and they had to call in some doctors. This was rather fortunate for the man in question yet not so for Henry, who now had the opportunity to speak to Mara alone.
"I hope he is well" Henry said and Mara only nodded in response. They were waiting in the drawing room; eagerly hoping for good news.
"I hope so too" Mara said, giving him yet another brief answer and at that point he had had it.
" Why are you so quiet, Mara? You haven't said much the past few days in general and especially not to me. Why? Is my presence making you uncomfortable?".
She looked up from her lap where her gaze had previously been directed but then shyly looked down again.
"Of course not, it is just that it is a bit strange to... see you again." Mara said with a soft tone of voice.
"How so? he asked her with a curious expression.
"You. Here. The four of us together again, it feels like old times, but it is not... not really like the way it used to be." she said shaking her head, unable to utter the rest of her sentence.
Henry bit his lip, and both then remained silent for a while.
"I get it. You may have to get used to being in my company again. Perfectly understandable" he concluded.
This was a strange reply to give, why should she get used to them being in each eithers company again. Marae eyed him again briefly and then asked the question of what has been bothering her for days, to which she somewhat suspected the answer but was not so presumptuous as to think she was right.
"Why are you in Cornwall, Henry? Why are you really here?" she asked him with bated breath. HE said nothing and looked at her penetratingly for a while and she saw him inwardly debating with himself whether he should tell the truth.
"Isn't that obvious?" he answered in a pitched, rough voice after several minutes.
"I'm here to see you." Her eyes grew large as she understood that her suspicions were just and she immediately got up and wanted to walk away but before she could he had already grabbed her and held her firmly by the wrists, and she was slightly compelled to face him.
"Will you please listen to me?" he asked her somewhat pleadingly. "If I let you go, will you stay and listen to me?".
Mara looked at him; at his remarkable blue eyes with a hint of brown in the upper corners of them, eyes that had always fascinated her all these years, and for a moment it was like old times again. Just for a moment because when his gaze settled on her lips, she wriggled free from his grasp and walked back a few steps as a precaution.
"We can't do this; I am married Henry."
"Yes, for now you are" he replied slightly annoyed; that she had withdrawn from him, among other reasons.
"You know" she said while gazing at her former fiancée in bewilderment.
"Yes, I am aware of your husband's tomfoolery and the way he has made an utter fool of himself in London".
"Don't talk about him like that" she warned suddenly feeling angry, but the admonishment had little effect on him she could see.
"My sincere apologies" he said but it didn't come out mean-spirited she thought, rather annoyed that she had stood up for him, but he recovered quickly and took a few steps back towards her side.
"Will you sit down so we can converse about this matter like adults?" he asked as he pointed to the sofa.
"I don't think that's such a good idea. I think it is best that you would go now and- ".
"Just a few minutes, all I'm asking for is a few minutes of your attention" he replied with a stern face that later softened. "Please" he then added, and she didn't know if it was curiosity or just idiocy on her part, but Mara took a seat. The two said initially until Henry spoke.
"I owe you a thousand apologies, I messed up greatly and I have told you that...But... I'm not with Lauren anymore, and you, you're thinking about getting a divorce from-
"Who told you that?" she sharply inquired.
"Doesn't matter... What matters is that there's an opportunity here, an opportunity to- to right the wrongs, Mara. I want to make it up to you" he said in a pleading tone.
"It was always supposed to be me you and me. You and me, and yes it will take a long time for you to trust me again. I am aware that things will be difficult at first, but I am willing to work on it.
"We can call this period in our lives for what it was, a big mistake and move on to carry out our plans, get married, have children and-
She didn't know why she had said it but somewhere she apparently felt compelled to do so.
"I love him, Henry. I love him."
she said in a soft voice, somewhere surprising herself, for she had not realized it until now, but it was true. She loved him; just him, no matter how many times she wanted to deny it, how many times she tried not to think about him at night and finally did and then cried herself to sleep because she missed him terribly. Every day she had the urge to book a trip back, but her pride prevented her from doing so.
"I'm sorry" Mara stated even though it was a silly thing to apologize for.
He remained silent for a long time, then blinked his eyes and nodded with a defeated expression on his ger face, a moment later he sighed and stood up and looked at her, opening his mouth to say something but then did not. Instead, he walked to the door and planned to walk away but stayed still in front of it and turned towards it.
Thy looked at each other for what would be the last time in their lives and in both emotions seemed to take over at this realization.
"I want you to know that I will never forgive myself" Henry said in a breaking voice and welling up tears.
"And... I will never stop loving you. Never" he shook his head. At that he turned around, opened the door, and left.
She shed a few tears for him, them, for Anthony, for anything and everything and then went to bed extremely tired.
*******************
A few days later Mara received a letter, forwarded from London, addressed to her in a handwriting she did not know. Emma's handwriting and her parents were completely different, so it wasn't them. There was no sender on the back, this made her even more curious, and she tore open the envelope.
Dear Mrs Bridgerton,
I do not know whether it is appropriate to send you a letter and I hope you will forgive me some discourtesy. Having said that, I feel that this is the right thing to do.
After all, this is about my peace of mind, which I would like to get back as soon as possible you see as I am wrecked with feelings of guilt.
I want to make clear that you can trust me on my word although I understand that is difficult since you do not know me and probably do not think too highly of me now. I however hope you will believe my claim to the truth.
I strongly wish to emphasize to you that, during Anthony's visit to me, no inappropriate things happened. He and I only spoke briefly and wished each other well.
I saw a man, who was very much in love with his wife yet committed a dumb, rash act.
I would implore you, if I may be so bold, to forgive him, but I can only advise you do to so, not instruct.
Regardless, I wish you both all the happiness in the world.
Yours sincerely,
Sienna Rochefort (Rosso)
She stared at the letter and reread it again and again, Lily saw her and asked what was going on to which Mara handed the letter to her.
Lily gave Mara a brief smile and wanted to say something but suddenly her friend grabbed her lips and ran off to the bathroom on which Mara started gagging loudly.
"The door is open" replied after Lily had knocked on it a few times. Lily opened and saw her friend sitting on the floor with a few wipes next to her.
"Are you okay?" LIly asked worriedly.
"Yes. believe so" though she had to suppress an urge to throw up again.
"I don't know what it is but... maybe the sea air isn't doing me any good on this visit. I've been feeling lousy for a few days now" she stated. It took a second but then Lily also realized right away what the reason for her friend's nausea could be.
"A few days already you say?" said Lily, doing her best not to chuckle. Mara nodded.
"Is it mostly in the morning; that you feel nauseous?" to which Mara nodded again.
"Do you feel like having to go to the bathroom often?" and Mara again wanted to answer in the affirmative until her eyes grew large and the realization dawned on her.
"Oh God, I think that I.... am" but shock prevented her from speaking further.
"Pregnant." Lily finished for her before walking over to her and helping Mara to get off the cold floor.
"Dearest... You know I would prefer to have you here as long as possible, but I really think it would be wise for you to go back to London".
"Yes, I think so too" said Mara after a while of contemplating. She had to go back to London, to him and tell Anthony that she was with child, but her miserable disposition precluded her from traveling back the same day, so she left the following. After a long journey, she arrived back at her parents' house, whom she wanted to tell the good news immediately, but she saw them both looking serious. Her mother handed her a thick large envelope and Mara immediately turned it over to look at the sender and read.
"BLACKBURN SOLLICITORS. On behalf of Anthony Bridgerton"
Mara did not need to look at the contents of the envelope as she knew immediately what was inside.
LONDON, A FEW DAYS EARLIER, ANTHONY'S STUDY
"I have both good and some less pleasant news, Mr. Bridgerton" said the detective, who was known only by the name "Thawes". Anthony looked perplexed but indicated that the man could quickly but continue.
"The good news is that I have located your wife. She is in Cornwall and staying with Lily Edgewood and her husband".
"That's fantastic. Then I'll make arrangements to get there as quickly as possible and-'>
"Sorry to interrupt but you forgot the second part of my announcement, Mr. Bridgerton" Thawes said while taking a brief pause later.
"Are you sure you want to know and that I should tell you?".
"I am. So, explain", Anthony replied a tad agitatedly.
"What my sources have told me is that Mr. Carrington visited the Edgewood's twice, once in the afternoon and once in the evening. I have been told that the gentleman and lady of the house were called away in connection with the fact that Mr. Edgewood's father was ill and therefore the two were until Mr. Carrington some considerable time after".
It was as if he had sold someone a punch in the stomach, that's how big the blow arrived, and he stared into nothingness for several moments.
"Thought you should know", Anthony's informant remarked.
"Right. Right, I see. Well good work, Thawes. Thank you... I'll write your check in a minute", Anthony replied absentmindedly.
When he was alone, he could only feel defeated and somewhere also incredibly angry and jealous but... he had lost. He had lost her, at least that's how it felt, because he was down 0-2 and he was convinced that Henry had only given her more reasons to divorce him.
It was pointless. What was he supposed to do now? Fight for her? No, there was no point and besides, those two were destined to be together, right? Soon they could be together again; yes 'fate' had intervened, and Mara had come into Anthony's life, but it wasn't supposed to be like this.
The two were meant for each other. All he had to do now was step back and hope that she would be happy even though it broke his heart into a million pieces, but it was the right thing to do and thus, with a heavy heart, Anthony contacted his solicitor.