Charlie
I woke up the next morning wishing I was dreaming. I felt like not getting out of bed at all but I will not allow my feelings to interfere with my job. It was the only good thing I had going for me now that I lost all hope of ever being more than friends with Rhylee.
I got up and thanked Merlin when I saw that it was cloudy. If I would go to watch the sunrise and she would be there, I don't know what I would do. I was so upset last night that I forgot to check my team's schedule for the next month.
I was still determined to fix my relationship with Bill. I simply have to. It's time to return to my roots – being grateful for my job and being the best sibling I can be. That's what I was all about before I met Rhylee and my world turned upside down.
I sighed and got out of bed. I sat down at the kitchen table, the timetable in front of me. Theo has two days off this week and so does Evan. John and Andrew are free the week after that. And then I could take time off when Rhylee comes back. It was hard to be two people short at once during mating season so we had to plan accordingly.
It's settled then, I will go and visit Bill at work in three weeks. Hopefully, he won't slam the door in my face. I still can't believe what an idiot I am. I really messed up.
I decided to go to the nearby village and check out their library for books I could give Rhylee for her case. I didn't want to be a part of it anymore but I didn't want to show her how much she hurt me either. The sooner it's over the better. And I wanted to help the dragon. I don't want a single one to be executed if there is anything I can do to prevent it.
I could apparate to the library but I decided to walk instead. It's supposed to be my day off anyway and why not take it for once. I don't remember the last time I had a day off and if last night isn't good enough of a reason for me to take a little break then I don't know what is.
My mind was completely blank walking there. I didn't have the energy to think about anything. Every time Rhylee or last night came to mind I tried to shake it off. I can't think about it because it breaks my heart all over again and I can't keep doing this to myself.
I only had a broken heart once before. It was when Emma and I broke up the summer after we graduated from Hogwarts. We started dating a month before our sixth year and we were very happy together. She was my first love and I wouldn't change a thing. When I found out I got a job at the Sanctuary we started to talk about our future. She applied for a position to be the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Ilvermony and when she got her letter we knew it will be very difficult for us to see each other.
We both started right after graduation and we barely had the time to write to each other during summer. I was busy learning, getting acquainted with all the dragons, and getting assimilated to the working schedule and she had to train all summer and prepare to start the semester in September. When we finally had a chance to see each other in August, we both knew it's not going to work out no matter how much we would like to try long-distance.
We agreed that it's better if we go our separate ways and broke up. The only time we communicate now is when we send each other a birthday card.
It hurt, letting her go, but at least it was my decision. At least I knew what I was doing and I had a clean slate. This was nothing like it and it terrified me that I was still so attracted to Rhylee even though I don't know what she was playing at. It's like I just can't let her go.
I spend a few hours in the library, going through books, making notes, trying to think of anything that might provide evidence of the dragon's innocence. I was glad I decided to go. It was a good distraction and I forgot just how much I love reading, checking facts, and learning something new, especially if it had to do with dragons and other creatures.
I found a book on creature trials and one called Dragons and the Law. I decided to give them to Rhylee so she could see if they could be of any help. I dreaded not knowing when the trial is going to happen because it meant I didn't know for how long I will have to pretend that I am okay with us being friends. I was planning on distancing myself from her as soon as everything is over.
Besides those two books, I took a few for myself. If I wanted to find myself again, I have to start reading as I used to. It made me happy and I think I will need a lot of those moments if I'll be working alongside Rhylee for what can be the rest of my life.
I went for a run when I came back and paid Ernie a visit. His positivity and cheerfulness were something I needed to surround myself with. I don't think I ever spent so much time in his office but damn he made me laugh. He gave me a letter from my mum and Ron and a package from Fred and George. At this point, I wasn't even expecting anything from Bill.
I am glad that I've opened mum's letter first as she warned me that the twins might send me something from their newly opened shop.
They did it! They finally did it! They told me about it in one of their letters and made me swear I wouldn't tell mum. I wanted to give them some money as I supported their dream but they said they are well taken care of. I have no idea where they got the money from but I just wanted to be there for them. It made me feel good to be a good older brother to at least 2 of my siblings.
Because I was so ecstatic for them I decided to open the gift they sent me anyway. I carefully unwrapped it and slowly removed the cover with my eyes narrowed and my head leaned back just in case something would jump out. I have learned through the years that with them you have to be prepared for anything.
It looked like candy. They were joking, right? I took it out of the box and found a little note at the bottom.
Something to prank your mates with.
Thank you for being on our side, Charlie.
Love, Fred and George
I felt like crying. I know to them it was a simple gesture but this meant so much to me. It was exactly what I needed. At least I did something right. It warmed my heart that they felt supported by me and I couldn't wait to visit their shop.
Something to prank my mates with, huh?
I picked up one of the wrappers. It looked like regular candy. I squinted my eyes to read the label.
Ton-Tongue Toffee.
That didn't sound so bad. If it wasn't their invention I would dare trying it but I knew better. Perhaps I will give one to Theo. He always liked to talk too much, maybe these could fix that.
I spent the rest of the day reading on the sofa. Merlin's beard did I miss it. How could I not have an entire wall of books in my home? I need to write to Hagrid if he still has that one book about dragons he used to lend me when I was still in school. I would love to reread it and I loved the illustrations in it.
When I finally tore my eyes off the book to check the time, I couldn't believe it was time for dinner already. I decided to put on some clothes.
Yes, I was reading naked. I live alone and I felt like it and there's nothing anyone can do about it.
It was the new Charlie!
I tucked the books for Rhylee under my arm and exited my hut.
I knocked on her door and the second I did I heard movement inside.
"Charlie, hi." She looked even more upset than she did yesterday.
The dark circles under her eyes indicated that she slept almost as little as I did.
"I don't want to bother you." I saw something shift in her eyes. "I was in the library this morning and found these two books that I reckon could help you with the case," I explained.
I couldn't believe how calm I was. I don't know if it was because I was still mad at her or I simply didn't have the energy to care anymore. My heart was still bumping against my rib cage but it was easier to ignore this time.
"Thank you." She carefully took the books from my hands, her eyes on mine.
I hated the way she was looking at me. As if she was sorry. As if she felt bad for what happened last night. I hated that I could read her like a book and I hated how much I wanted to ask her what's wrong and why is she so upset as it was clear, something was going on in her life.
We might be friends but I can't be there for her right now. I have to get my life in order first. I have to take care of myself and my family. As much as I wanted to, I can't make her a priority again because I know the second I do, I will fall right back in and I can't trust myself with getting out.
And she has Nick for that, right?
"Want to come in?" She said as she went to put the books on her coffee table.
"No. I'm going to go have dinner with the guys." My voice was completely emotionless.
"Oh. Okay."
Don't sound so disappointed, Rhylee. You don't get to sound like that. I can't feel sorry for you.
"Look, about last night..."
"Don't." I shook my head. I don't want to talk about it ever again. Especially not with her.
"It's okay. I understand." I smiled awkwardly as I didn't know what else to do.
"It's just..." She bit her lip and bowed her head. "I..."
"Look, Rhylee. It's really not a big deal."
It was but okay.
"I have to go, they are waiting for me." Without waiting another second I turned around and walked away.
Fuck, why was it so hard! I just left her standing there in the doorway. It was killing me but I knew it was the right thing to do – for me at least.
I sat next to Andrew and started eating my dinner. I just remembered that I haven't eaten at all today. They were all waiting for me to say something but I pretended I was too busy eating to notice.
"Charlie, we're sorry about yesterday." Evan was the first to speak.
"Yeah, it wasn't our business and we shouldn't have told you to go and see her." John followed.
"It's okay. I'm glad you did it." I mumbled with my mouth full.
"You are?" Theo looked puzzled.
"Yeah." I finally swallowed the food. "If you didn't I don't know when I would make a move and it already took too long for me to find out she was dating someone."
"I still can't believe it." Andrew shook his head. "I know she's very private but one might think you would mention your partner at least once." They all nodded in agreement.
"Or at least that she would tell you," Peter spoke for the first time.
"Why me?" I looked up at him.
"Well, you're better friends with her than we are. You went running together and you trained her and...you have history." The lot nodded their heads again.
"Doesn't matter now, does it?" I tried not to sound too disappointed.
"We're sorry, Charlie," Evan said gently.
"We promise, we won't mention it again." Andrew put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it.
"Thanks." I appreciated that they understood and didn't press the matter further.
I couldn't be angry with them. They only wanted me to be happy and they couldn't know it would turn out so bad. I definitely didn't expect it.
"What are you going to do now?" Theo asked after a brief pause.
"I'm going to talk to Bill." I put my fork down. "Rhylee told him that we slept together so that confirms why he hasn't been writing to me for so long. I haven't seen him in two years and I can't believe I let this happen." I pressed my fingers to my temples.
"Charlie, everybody makes mistakes. You're only human." Peter said slowly.
"Do you think he'll be able to forgive me after such a long time?" I lifted my head.
"Get off it, Charlie!" Theo slammed the table with his fist. "He's your brother. Of course, he will!"
I wish I had Theodore's confidence in that. Bill is the nicest, sweetest guy I know and he didn't hold a grudge against anybody.
But two years!
I would kick my arse if I was him and then I would heal myself and do it again.
"Peter, I will take two days off in three weeks to go and see him," I remembered that I have to tell him if I leave the Sanctuary.
We could take a day or two off if we scheduled it in advance without saying anything like I did today. But if you plan on being outside of the Reserve we had to tell Peter so that he knew that if anything goes wrong or if he would need another pair of hands that he can't come and knock on your door for you to help.
"Charlie, if you want we can switch days and you can go in two days." Theo offered.
"That's very nice of you, mate." I smiled. That meant a lot to me.
"But I have to figure out what to say to him anyways and I need to find a way to ask one of my siblings to tell me where to find him. I don't want mum to know that we aren't talking. It's a miracle I was able to keep it a secret for such a long time anyway."
"In three weeks it is." Peter made a mental note.
"You're going to be fine, Charlie," John said. "Just give it time."
"Yeah, I know." I sighed.
First I get my brother back and then I'll focus on mending my heart.