I knew he was bad, and that
eventually he would break my heart, but I wanted to be destroyed
a little more than I wanted to be loved.
~ a.j
A/N
I gotta say, I'm loving the aesthetic for Ryder it was fun to make. Also these songs have nothing to do with the book it's just the one I happened to be listening to when I wrote this chapter.
Chapter 3.1
Ryder's POV
"Come on, man, you've got to try this." Mateo, my best friend, shoved a cup in my hand.
I sniffed the cup, the smell making me gag. "Mate, what did you put in this?"
He didn't back down. "Drink it."
"Nah, man, I'm pretty sure if I drink that I'll be wasted before we've even made it past the kitchen."
I was never sure what Mateo put in these concoctions of his but, then again, by morning, neither did he.
I handed him the cup back, taking a sip of my own drink.
"Man, I don't know why you won't drink this but you'll drink that nasty stuff." Mateo swirled his drink around, staring at the mixture.
"It's kombucha, it's not that bad. Plus someone needs to be sober enough to carry your drunk ass home." I was usually the driver for the night, especially with this one. Mateo liked to see how much he could drink before he passed out.
Mateo swiped the cup from me, taking a swig. He spat it back out in the cup almost immediately. "That's disgusting!"
"It can't be any worse than yours."
Mateo's eyes gleamed. He's gonna do it. The guy smirked before triumphantly chugging down his entire drink. Here we go again. Mateo stared me dead in the eyes, keeping a stiff stance.
"You're gonna throw up aren't you?" I laughed.
"No." He paused. "Yes!" He ran to the plant.
Idiot. I finished the rest of my drink, tossing the empty cup into the trash. Mateo wiped his mouth. "I need another drink."
Of course he does.
I grabbed a beer, using my metal banded ring to pop the cap off. "Here."
Mateo grabbed the drink, chugging half of it. "Help me up." He reached out.
I did as asked, heavily debating just leaving him on the floor. "Come on, I think Maria just walked in a few minutes ago."
Mateo had been pining after Maria for months. Why, I had no idea. You'd never find me simping for a girl. By the way he acts around her, you'd think the man was in love or something. I kept trying to tell him to just give up on her. He's got a hundred girls ready to break up with their boyfriends for one night with him and yet he's too busy staring at the one girl who he has to work for.
"Do I look okay?" Mateo questioned, attempting to smooth down his dark curls. They didn't bother listening to his many attempts, popping right back up.
"You look like a player." I teased.
He glared at me, clearly not satisfied with my answer. "Relax, it'll be fine."
He adjusted his shirt, unbuttoning it ever so slightly. I chuckled at the sight, remembering the last party I went to. I wasn't sure who that girl was, she didn't look familiar, but I don't think I've ever had that much fun at a party. How in the world she managed to rip a button off my shirt, I'll never figure out.
"Come on, lover boy, go get your girl." I patted his back, sending him off in the direction of Maria.
My boi stumbled, tripping on his own feet. Maria managed to catch him, rolling her eyes in the process. I didn't expect anything else.
Shoving my hands in my pocket, I perused the house, finding nothing better to do. I was never a fan of parties but Mateo goes to see Maria and drags me out with him so I can suffer as well. I'm pretty sure he only makes me go so he can get blackout drunk, after Maria rejects him, in the comfort of knowing he'll have someone who will make sure he gets home safe. Sometimes I regret being friends with that guy, but then again are you really friends if you don't simultaneously hate and love each other.
"Where's your girlfriend, mate?" A voice all too familiar shouted from across the room.
I'm not dealing with this today. I paid no attention, walking in the other direction.
Kavinski caught up to me. "Huh, where's your little girlfriend?"
"Go away, Kavinski."
"Come on, man. Where's your girlfriend?" He got right up in my face.
I gritted my teeth. "Get off of me."
"What? Too scared? Afraid your mommy will get upset?"
"I said, get off of me." I growled.
His alcohol stained breath burned my nostrils. He's wasted. "Aw, someone can't handle the truth."
"I'm gonna give you three seconds to get away from me before I get angry."
He bounced around me on his toes, getting way too close to my face.
"Aww, someone's a little riled up. Why don't you go run off to your little girlfriend?" He moved closer. "Huh? Where's your girlfriend?" He shoved me back, jumping up and down like a hyperactive poodle.
I stumbled, my jaw tightening before my fist was colliding with his face. Kavinski fell back, clutching his cheek, too drunk to even try to fight back. "Is that what you wanted?" I shouted, clenching my fist.
"What's your problem, man?" He whined.
I pressed my tongue to the roof of my mouth, ignoring his question. I left the room before I could do something I'd regret, more so than I already had. I shoved my way through the crowd of people, trying to get away from the pounding music. I hate these things.
I should have just said no when I heard Kavinski was coming. He's drunk out of his mind, of course he'd pick a fight, what else is he supposed to do once the alcohol no longer works to solve his problems.
I practically kicked open the door to a random room, hoping it was empty but not terribly caring if it wasn't. I slammed the door behind me, locking it before sitting on the bed, cradling my head. But it didn't matter how many deep breaths I took, I was blazing.
He's still mad about the stupid girlfriend thing. It's not my fault he decided to harass some poor girl. And it's not my fault she didn't want him, but who could blame her? I ran my hands through my hair, a habit I had picked up from my father.
My thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of a phone pinging. I lifted my head, my eyes landing on the source of the sound. I walked over to the cellphone that had been abandoned, checking the display which read 'Tenshi Tanaka 1 new message'.
Tenshi Tanaka. Tenshi Tanaka. Great. Just great. That girl hates me with a passion and vice versa.
I tossed my jacket on the bed, ignoring the cell phone. A soft humming began to echo through the room, the sound almost calming. Almost. I spun around, trying to find the source as it was so clearly not coming from the music, which had been making my ears bleed all night.
I followed the sound all the way up to the closet. When I opened the door, I didn't expect to find the girl from the party sitting on the closet floor peacefully reading a book, her ringlet curls pinned back behind her ear.
Her head shot up, her doe like eyes widening as she slammed the book shut, sending the reading light soaring. I watched as she fumbled around, mumbling a quick apology to the light—the inanimate object which has no feelings and cannot feel pain—and shoved it into her purse.
She jumped to her feet, smoothing down her hair, taking the most unnatural pose in an attempt to look casual.
"Do I want to know?" I question, my eyebrow raising.
She pursed her lips. "Probably not." She shuffled past me, scooping up the mysterious cell phone.
That phone is hers. If that phone is hers then that means she managed to play nice with Tenshi Tanaka, and Tenshi Tanaka hates everyone she's ever laid eyes on. Oh this could be fun.
I grinned, trailing behind her as she rushed to get out of the room. "Leaving so soon?" I had to get on her good side, my plan already formulating in my head, the perfect plan to drive Tenshi insane.
She huffed, attempting to smile as she pushed her hair out of her eyes. "Not really, considering I've been in here for a good fifty pages."
My grin fell. Fifty pages? What is that supposed to mean? "You measure time in book pages?"
She gave me a sheepish look, turning away and pretending she didn't hear my question. I watched as she struggled with the doorknob, pulling on it repeatedly. "Did you unlock it?" I asked.
I have never seen one human being look so annoyed so quickly. "Yes, I unlocked it." She deadpanned.
I raise my hands in defense. "I was just asking."
"It's stuck."
I crinkled my eyebrows, moving so I could try. The door didn't budge. "We're locked in."
She sighed, bending her book back and forth in her hand. "Of course, because what else could go wrong today?" She muttered under her breath before promptly throwing herself across the bed. She fumbled around with the pillows until she found a comfortable spot and opened her book. It was like I wasn't even in the room.
I sat down beside her, the bed dipping and causing her to sink towards me. She paid no attention, flipping to the next page. I frowned before quickly swiping her book.
She was up in a heartbeat. "Give it back!" She demanded.
I flipped through the pages, saving her spot with my index finger. "I want to see what you're reading."
She rested her hands on her hips, attempting to look intimidating. "It has a cover for a reason."
I flipped the book around to check out the cover. "Playing the game," I read the title aloud.
She lunged across the bed in an attempt to grab it from me. In one fluid motion, I rolled off the bed, landing on my feet. I shot the book up in the air and out of her reach.
She tried to gain hold of it but was far too short to do so. I kept my stance as she used my shoulders to lift herself up, still not tall enough.
I stood on my tiptoes as her fingertips brushed the edge of the cover. She glared at me. "Ryder, give it back."
She knows my name. I smirked. She's been asking about me. I hadn't told her my name so she must have, unless of course Tenshi told her in which case this may be harder than I thought. I could only imagine the things Tenshi would say to me. She probably told the poor girl I ate puppies for breakfast.
I shrugged. "I will—" her eyes lit up—"after I read some of it."
I flipped the book open to a random page, making sure not to accidentally lose her place. By the way she's looking at me now, I have a feeling she'd cut my little guy off if I did.
I skimmed over the words, more and more concerned for her health the further I read. No one in their right mind would read this. She can't be serious. "This is what you're reading?"
She crossed her arms.
I read the passage aloud. "Since you're a player, let's play a game.
"Let's cuddle, and kiss, and play fight. We'll tease each other, go on dates, meet each other's friends and families. Let's talk on the phone until we fall asleep and makeout until our lips are numb and hold each other for hours.
"First one to fall in love, loses."
It was absurd, as if anything like that would ever happen in real life. "That's ridiculous. Who would do that?"
She huffed, trying to reach her personal belonging from me, clearly not having learned from the last time. She growled as she failed again. "It's cute and romantic!" She defended.
I leaned against the wall, crossing my arms and keeping her book locked firmly in my grip. "It's foolish and insane. You're just setting yourself up for failure. One person wins and moves on with their life and the other is left heartbroken and scarred."
She scowled. "Or they both fall in love and live happily ever after."
I chuckled. "Sorry, gorgeous, but happily ever doesn't exist." I gave up on trying to find my happily ever after a long time ago.
She sat down on the bed, clearly done with trying to retrieve her book. "Are you usually this cynical?" Her accent got progressively more prominent the more annoyed I made her.
I hadn't picked up on her accent at first until I heard the gorilla speak, his accent was far more noticeable out of the three of them. Not gonna lie, I'm really glad that guy ended up being her brother because as much as I work out I'm pretty sure that guy could have killed me with his pinky. I tried to act intimidating but we both knew it wasn't going to work. If he wanted to kill me, he could, easily.
"I'm not cynical, I'm realistic. That doesn't happen in real life, the odds of them both falling in love is slim to none. My bet is the girl falls helplessly in love with him and gets rejected."
She stood up and stepped closer to me. "And what makes you think the girl would fall in love first? After all, we all know guys tend to fall in love first."
I inched closer, her chest pressing against mine. "And who told you that?"
She gave me a smug grin, leaning in to the point that our noses were touching...when she stood on her top toes. "Science actually. Ever heard of it?"
Her words sparked an idea, the perfect way to drive Tenshi insane. After all, any friend of Tenshi is an enemy of mine, and you have to keep your enemies closer. "Well, since you're so big on science, let's test your theory."
Her face fell. "What?"
"Let's play your little game. We'll do everything a couple does. First one to fall in love, loses."
"Are you crazy?" She practically shouted.
"Not so confident now, are we?" I provoked.
I turned away not entirely sure of where I'd go but needing a way to tempt her further. Manipulating people is what I'm best at, and right now I need to lead her right into my trap.
"I'm in."
I smirked, facing her. "You're in?"
She nodded. "I'm in, but when I'm right, and you fall in love, don't blame me because this was your idea."
I let out a short laugh. She's so sure of herself. "Fine, but when I win and you end up heartbroken, don't blame me because I warned you. I don't like to lose, gorgeous."
"I don't fall in love, pretty boy."
I clicked my tongue. "We'll see about that."
As if on cue, there was a loud knock at the door. "Beatrice." An unrecognizable voice called out.
She jumped away from me, clambering towards the door. "Oh thank goodness, Sonny!"
"I got your message. How did you get locked in a closet?"
Locked in the closet? She managed to get herself locked in a closet?
"It's a long story but now we can't get out of the room, the doors jammed."
Someone jiggled the doorknob a few times, the door still remaining shut. "It's not gonna budge," a deeper, more prominent voice answered. "I'll go get Tenshi, she'll know what to do."
Beatrice's eyes widened as she looked at me. "No!" She shouted. "Really, Maxon, it's okay. There's no need to get Tendshi. Please!" She desperately rambled in an attempt to stop him.
This will be fun. I can just imagine the look on Tenshi's face when she finds out.
Maxon was gone before she could stop him. "You're friends with Tenshi?" I questioned, trying to get a better understanding of their relationship.
"It's a long story," she groaned.
I sat on the bed. "Well, it looks like you have a bit of time to tell me, player number two."
She raised her eyebrow. "We can't both be played number two, pretty boy."
"Don't tell me we're gonna fight about this too?" I grinned and crossed my arms.
"Bea!" Tenshi's voice called out.
That was quick.
Beatrice's voice barely came out. "Hi, Tenshi."
"How did you get yourself locked in a room?"
Beatrice stepped away from the door, closer to me. "It's a long story." She tried the excuse again.
"Hold on, I'll get the door open." The door rattled as Tenshi probably body slammed the poor thing.
"Take your time!" She yelled as she gnawed at her fingernails.
She held her hand out to me. "For the sake of my nails, I need my book, now."
I listened, after taking one look at her face and deciding I did not want to see what would happen if I didn't.
She snatched it from me like a dog snatches leftover bacon, and held it to her chest, her hands trembling as she bent the book back and forth in a repetitive motion, taking long, soothing breaths.
The door banged again making Beatrice jump. She glanced around the entire room frantically before lunging on me. I stumbled back, letting her push me around and before I knew it my back was colliding with a row of coat hangers. Someone's pushy. "Geez gorgeous, if you wanted to make out with me all you had to do was ask."
She ignored my teasing comment. "Tenshi cannot know about you."
Well that greatly defies what I was trying to do here. "Why not?"
"Because then she'll hate me!"
I frowned, that wouldn't work for the plan either. I needed Tenshi on Beatrice's side. "Fine, I'll stay in the closet."
Beatrice nodded, satisfied with my solution, just as the door busted open. She squealed, slamming the closet door shut and trapping me inside. This is exactly how I expected to spend my evening. I sighed, finding a spot on the floor to sit on while I listened to Beatrice try to explain the situation of how she got locked in here, alone.
"Wasn't there someone else in here?" The boy she had texted, who I am assuming is named Sonny, asked.
"Nope, no one. No one at all." Beatrice tried to cover.
"What is that?" Tenshi questioned in an accusatory voice.
"What is what?" Beatrice's voice flew up a couple decimals.
My eyes widened as I remembered my jacket, which I had left outside. Before I knew it, the closet door was being swung open and I was staring directly at Tenshi Tanaka, my jacket in hand.
"You have got to be kidding me!" She growled, "Adams?"
Well, I was already caught, might as well have some fun. "Tanaka." I answered, standing up and dusting off my pants.
"What the h-"
I cut her off. "Language! There are children in the room, Tanaka."
She looked ready to bite my head off.
I slid past her, trying to pull her away from Beatrice and the others. I'd prefer not to bicker in front of other people. "Beatrice, great meeting you." I saluted her, making my leave.
Tenshi followed behind me like a moth following a light, except instead of just wanting the light's warmth I think she wanted to shatter it into a million pieces. "What do you think you're doing with her?"
"Relax, I'm just having a little fun."
She ran in front of me, trying to prevent me from walking away. "Stay away from her."
I scoffed. "Or what? What could you possibly do to me, Tanaka, that you weren't already planning on doing?" The second she found a way to torment me she'd do it, whether I'd done something to deserve it or not.
"Listen, Adams. She's new here and she doesn't need you ruining her life."
Ruining her life. Right, because I'm some horrible monster.
"And what makes you think I care? I'm the spawn of Satan right, why would I care about some random girl I just met?" If she wanted me to play the role of a monster then by all means I would, anything to upset her.
"Adams, I swear if you touch her, I will make your life a living nightmare." She threatened.
As if that wasn't what she was already trying to do. She's been harassing me since middle school and I don't even know why. "But how am I supposed to win if I can't touch her?"
She narrowed her eyes. "Win what?"
"Oops, I don't think I was supposed to say that." I patted her shoulder. "Lovely conversation as usual, Tanaka, I'll see you soon." And with that, I walked away.
"Adams!" She shouted after me. "Win what?"
I was out of her sight before she could catch up. I texted Maria to ask where Mateo was. He, of course, was passed out in one of the bed rooms. I kicked open the door to find Mateo laying face down on the bed. Maria sat in the corner, scrolling through her phone with a drink in her other hand. Mateo let out a long groan at the sight of me. I nodded to greet her. "Maria."
She reciprocated the gesture. "Ryder."
"Come on, mate." I attempted to pick Mateo up as he lugged all of his body weight on me.
"Maria," he whined.
"Come on. It's time to go home. Maria's done for the night."
He let out a small whimper as I dragged him out of the room.
People paid no mind as I carried his limp body through the house and to the car, most of the people having already seen this before. We pulled the same show at every party we went to. I set Mateo in the passenger seat. He groaned, slapping my face a few times. "Where did you run off to?" His words slurred so badly I could barely make them out.
"I'll tell you about it tomorrow, mate. You're probably gonna kick my ass for it."
"That's nice," he mumbled, hugging the seatbelt as if it were Maria.
I laughed. He's less drunk than he usually is, I'm surprised he's even responsive. Maria must have been a little nicer today.
A/N
Hi lovely's!
Okay so what do we think of Ryder's POV?
I ask this every time but, do we like the book? I mean is it funny enough? Did I make Ryder too much of a jerk? Are there things I should fix?
Idk why but I feel more insecure about this book than i normally do when I first publish a book but maybe that's because it's been a minute since I've written.
Let me know what you guys think. I love hearing your honest opinions whether they're good or bad.
Lots of love,
Rachelle <3