(DISCLAIMER: This isn't a representation of all New Zealanders)
Out of the corner of his eye Jay saw his fiancé bouncing one leg and drumming her fingers on the other.
"Your nerves are putting off my driving Lee," he said half jokingly as they were distracting.
"Sorry babe," Riley apologised, ceasing her bouncing but still drumming her fingers.
He knew things were estranged between her and her parents but he had never seen her so nervous. In all their years of pranking, adrenaline seeking and several arrests (they were let off because Jay's uncle was on the force) Riley had never seemed more wound up. Gazing back through the windscreen to focus back on the road, he tried to reassure her.
"Hey, out of the two of us I'm the one who should be scared," Jay said, trying to lighten her mood. "I'm meeting my future in-laws for the first time ever not to mention I'm driving on the other side of the road in a country I've never been to before."
Riley let out a laugh before saying "Oh come on, New Zealand has like the least traffic in the world and I did offer to drive but you said I had 'rest because of jet lag'."
"Hey you were tired though!" he said in defense but felt relieved when she smiled. "Anything I should definitely remember from what you told me?"
"About driving?" she asked, raising an eyebrow in question.
"No the parentals," Jay said, wincing when he saw her face turn into a scowl at the mention of them.
Oops.
"Well my mother will criticize everything and I do mean everything, Dad might try to ask some questions about the stock market but then ignore us and read the newspaper. Oh and if my cousin is there she'll probably try and get in your pants," Riley finished with a slight growl.
"Sounds like fun!" Jay mused with joking enthusiasm. "Don't worry, if you hate it that much we can make an excuse after dinner about jet lag and go to bed early, k?"
She smiled weakly and held his hand that he offered her, soothed at the reassuring squeeze he gave it. She rested her head on the seat and gazed at her fiancé. After their engagement they told his parents to their joy but not surprise and went straight to visit them for a celebration. With reluctance Riley had been persuaded to contact her own parents that asked the couple to fly out, their treat. Needless to say she was terrified of how they were going to act.
'It's nice to be back though,' she thought, letting the feel of the green country in the middle of winter fill her mind.
The earthy smell of wet grass and the sea. The slightly cloudy sky leaving a noticeable chill in the air as the sun hid behind them. Sheep grazing in the occasional paddock, neighbours to some suburbs. Soon her coastal home town came into sight, small with a few shops and a primary school but mostly houses and a wide view of the sea with various islands.
"Nice area," Jay remarked, scanning around at an intersection. "Where to?"
"Uh you take a left here then a right two streets down. It's the brown house," Riley replied, bouncing her legs a few times before remembering she should try and calm down.
It was easier said than done and her state was near hyperventilation as Jay stopped outside an extremely familiar and daunting house. Two stories with dark upstairs windows and only a faint glow from downstairs in the early evening light. The grass wasn't that well kept (her mother always badgered her forgetful father to do it) and it was starting to snake onto the path that led from the door to the footpath. Riley gulped as she eyed the 'pathway to hell'.
"Babe listen to me," Jay said, turning to her and speaking in a soothing tone, "it will be fine. It's just a meal then we'll leave and I'll make you a hot chocolate."
She felt somewhat calmer after hearing that, even managing a smile at the joke about the drink she was addicted to. After giving him a grateful kiss they exited the car at which Riley grasped Jay's hand with both of hers trying not to squeeze so hard that his circulation stopped. It was close though.
Ding! Dong!
The doorbell still sounded the same, as clear as before due to lack of use. The Fawkes weren't a very popular family for social consideration however in business they were near the top of the top. Father's plans executed by Mother. A hard duo to beat and not exactly people that sprang to mind when thinking of an enjoyable get together. If it was a crowded social event they were meeting up at then Riley would have felt a little more at ease, the excuse of being lost in the throng of people on the tip of her tongue. However, she was in Fawkes territory now which meant the couple were screwed.
The weathered door opened.
"Good evening Riley," greeted her mother with a thin attempt at a smile. "This must be your fiancé."
"And you must be Riley's mom, Rhonda," stated Jay in a chirpy voice with a warm smile.
She barely covered her sneer as she took in the duo's clothes, tattoos and piercings. They both had black jeans and converse though Riley opted for a plain dark red shirt and grey hoodie while Jay had his trademark blue open over shirt and a white t-shirt. He also had his leather jacket with the grey hoodie and if one looked to the road they would see a rental car that looked exactly like the ones that 'goons' and 'boy racers' favoured. Fast and cheap. Much like Riley's cousin who was leaning 'seductively' against the hallway wall behind the formidable looking Mrs Fawkes.
It was obvious who did and didn't like the future family member.
"Wipe your feet when you come in," said Mum in a tone that was clearly demand not request. "I'd rather you not bring filth and trash into my house though in some cases it can't be helped."
Riley, who was used to the backhanded comments like the one just directed at her partner, watched Jay's eyes go blank in anger and the smile still holding its brilliance yet none of its warmth.
"But you let Tracey in though," she said to her mum.
Riley got two sets of glares and a well covered laugh.
'Wow Lee wasn't kidding,' he thought giving her a sidelong glance as they methodically sandpapered their soles on the prickly doormat. Glancing down he noticed with an ironic smirk that the 'O' in 'HELLO' had been worn off by the years of obsessive shoe wiping. 'Usually I'm not quick to agree with a negative opinion but the mat might have a point here.'
After passing an inspection Mrs Fawkes walked down the hallway presumably to the living room to lead them to Dad. Meanwhile Riley's cousin, who had been eye raping Jay since the door opened, peeled herself off the wall and slinked up next to him.
"Hi," she purred resting a hand on his arm. "I'm Tracey but you can call me anything you want."
Riley gagged and Jay somehow managed to avoid the lips advancing quickly towards his face. He ducked around Riley so she was in between the two of them, he thinking that her violent reflexes would stop any further attacks while she was happy to oblige. Tracey meanwhile gave him a suggestive look like he was trying to play hard to get and her face clearly said challenge accepted as she flipped her long dyed black hair over her shoulder. He shuddered.
"Children, stop loitering in the hallway and come through please," came the hard voice of Mrs Fawkes. "Dinner will be on the table soon and I will not have my day's work wasted."
"Oh puhlease," Riley mumbled under her breath as the trio walked down the dimly lit grey hall that was devoid of any decoration. "I bet she spent all of two minutes on it and the local restaurant did the grunt work."
Tracey heard and eager to win brownie points with her aunt hurried ahead but swung her hips at an attempt at a sexy result. It ended up in a weird speed waddle and she was shaking so hard that Jay could hear the jingling of change in her back pocket. He would have laughed under other circumstances but Riley looked sick and angry.
"I'm sorry," she whispered with despair, obviously distressed. "This is bad."
"Could be worse," he replied with optimism, trying to see a brighter side to it all.
She looked at him incredulously.
"Did you see what just happened before?? We should probably leave," was the hushed exclamation.
Jay thought back to seeing Riley's mother opening the door. The iron grey hair pulled back tightly into a bun and the steel blue eyes looking him up and down. Pale, thick arms rested across a wide chest which was covered in a dark blue cardigan and paired with black slacks. Lastly the way the full mouth thinned as Mrs Fawkes pressed her lips together at the sight of him, judgement on her face. Then with Tracey, her curvy figure draped against the wall as she tried to look alluring in a skimpy green top and mini shorts. The girl was pretty but she seemed so dead compared with Riley's fiery, bright spark. Nothing anyone else offered would ever take Riley's place but it was sickening the way her cousin tried.
"I see your point but I can't give a bad impression and back out now. I haven't even met your dad yet," he said.
"I don't think you want to."
Another call from her mum interrupted their debate and Jay shuffled them through the dining room entrance. It was an off white room that shared the kitchen though it was separated by a bar bench. The walls were once again devoid of any decoration and in the center of the room was a wide stone table that looked like marble.
'Didn't Riley say she called it the "sacrificial altar"?' he thought before he saw the man in a suit seated at the head of the table.
He was thickset in a barrel chested way. His arms were lean and he didn't seem to be much into exercise. However, what he lacked in physical intimidation he made up for with stern aura he held about himself like a thick blanket. This man was scary, no doubt about it.
"Kia ora sir," Jay said, remembering New Zealand's native Maori greeting.
A stare (or possibly a glare, it was hard to tell under the dark bushy eyebrows) was what he got in return.
"I'll have none of that trash Maori speak in my house!" snapped Mrs Fawkes from the kitchen.
"We are part Maori Mum."
"I don't care, they're horrible!"
"Haere mate," Riley muttered under her breath.
"Aunty, Riley said 'go die'!" sang Tracey with a smug look on her face.
"Nark," spat the accused, her hands clenched into fists
'This is going to be a long evening', Jay thought.
After several arguments between Riley and Tracey, then between Riley and her mother, Tracey trying to slide her hands into places they shouldn't have been and Mr Fawkes staring at the stocks in the paper with occasional questions referencing them that demanded answers that Jay didn't know, he had a pounding headache. He tried his best to be polite and engage in conversation but it never ended well, mostly in some kind of racist remark from Mrs Fawkes or a sexual invitation from Riley's cousin. The engaged couple shared many hopeless looks and could see that it wasn't long before one of them would have a mental breakdown. Dinner consisted of some sort of pasta and sauce, not inedible but the atmosphere made it hard for Riley and Jay to eat as they struggled through the evening. There wasn't any alcohol as well to make it bearable as Mrs Fawkes called it 'the Devil's drink' among other things.
Not only was the conversation not much of one but when Mrs Fawkes and Tracey were talking, Jay found himself lost with all the Kiwi slang. He knew a few like jandals (flip flops) and wop-wops (middle of nowhere) but there were things he hadn't heard of before, even though he had been with Riley for quite a few years.
"I went to this sweet as party couple of days ago and everyone got so pissed (surprisingly Mrs Fawkes didn't mind Tracey's language) though this one goon had left some gumboots next to the barbie and we had to put them out in the chilly bin coz it had melted ice in it. They were so munted after. Then the cops came coz of the smoke and people just jumped in their cars and drove away flat out coz some were underage. It was hectic. I was so knackered when I got home."
Jay thought it best not to stare in confusion and poked around his plate, trying to look somewhat occupied with his food. Riley obviously understood the story because she rolled her eyes while muttering something along the lines of 'just can it already' which Jay assumed meant 'stop talking' however he wasn't too confident in his guess.
After a gruesome hour and a half of 'dinner and no dessert' with the future in-laws, Jay finally managed to get across that he and Riley were very tired and would have to get back to the motel they were staying at. At this point both of them were mentally drained and couldn't take much more, even though she was used to her family behaving as they did. Tracey tried once more to slide her way between the couple whispering how if he stayed she would make it worth his while but Jay was done with it.
"Listen Tracey, I love Riley and there is no way I would even consider being with someone else let alone her cousin. Please stop these attempts and find someone who isn't in a relationship ok?"
With that he walked out of the house with a grateful Riley, leaving her cousin to slam the door shut in rage. Riley's parents hadn't even bothered to get out of their seats at the table, merely said that the roads get slippery at this time of the year. Once the couple were back in their rental car they took deep breaths before making their way back to their accommodation.
"I'm sorry," Riley whispered, shame evident in her voice and on her face.
"Lee you have nothing to apologise for. It's not your fault that they're like that, do you hear me?" Jay reassured her, angry at how dismissive and cynical they were when her family heard about her life in America.
They didn't think much of having a writer as a daughter who was engaged to a photographer.
"I just..."
She didn't continue but Jay wasn't too worried. He knew to leave her to her thoughts for a bit, as long as he was near her to give peace of mind. It was how they dealt with the not so good things in life. Instead of talking to her he just drove to the motel where they had left their stuff before visiting her parents. It was a bit harder finding his way back but he managed. After he parked the car outside the room, he put his arm around Riley as she got of the car and led her into the room. They ended up just falling on the bed and lying there together as she let only a few tears escape, evidence of her want for a loving family, not one that put her down every time something good happened to her.
"I'm here Lee and don't ever forget that," Jay murmured into her hair as he hugged her.
"I know. By the way thanks for fending off Tracey back at the house," she said, trying to pull herself together. "No one usually does it, politely as well."
"No worries sheila," he said, trying out some slang.
"That's part Australian."
"Is there a difference? Why are you looking at me like that?"
(For those who don't understand the last part, New Zealand and Australia have a huge rivalry hence why Riley pulls a face. That doesn't mean she hates them, or that all Kiwis hate Aussies and vice versa. It is a stereotype that I'm using for exaggeration in a fictional story. I apologise if this offends any Aussies or Kiwis)