In the previous chapter of The Red Bow
When opening the door of the house, Chaeyoung found a black BMW parked right in front of her house, and on her porch was Logan with his hands in his pants pockets and his eyes closed. The blonde frowned at the man’s presence in her house and looked around for Lisa and Ethan, but found he was alone.
"Logan?" Chaeyoung called a little confused by the situation. “Why are you here?"
"I came to ask you to leave Lisa alone." He said at once, the words hitting Chaeyoung full on. The two now faced each other on an equal footing for the same heart. “I discovered everything and I want you to stay away from her."
The staggering weight of tension between the lawyer and the musician stretched out for a long time in exchange for intense, challenging looks. On the one hand a betrayed man whose ego and heart were bruised, on the other a young mistress fighting for the love once built. That was, literally, reality knocking on her door. The awakening of the little illusion that Chaeyoung and Lisa had become involved in within a few days. Logan knew everything and was claiming what was rightfully his. Chaeyoung was the dirty one in the story. The lover. Relationship destroyer. Everything she ever despised in her life was being used against herself.
Chaeyoung always imagined that the lack of love in the world would destroy relationship. Today the excess of love was the reason for this fact.
"I can not do it.“ she finally said when she found strength in her heart.
Logan shifted his body weight to his left leg as he clenched his jaw in indignation at the answer.
"Lisa is my fiance, Chaeyoung. I want you to stay away from her and Ethan, it’s a warning."
"Sorry, I don’t think you heard right." Chaeyoung said firmly and took a step forward. “I won’t walk away."
Some say that a look can pierce someone’s soul. If that’s true, Logan was definitely doing it shamelessly. His hands were balled into fists and his face was red with the cynicism of the woman in front of him.
"I let you into my apartment, I was good with you. I let you spend time with Lisa and what do I get in return? Betrayal!“ He growled and in a few seconds was no longer the same passive Logan as always. “I’m serious, Chaeyoung, stay away from my fiance."
The musician never thought she would be in a situation like this one day. She never thought that she would be the pivot of a betrayal, much less that she would have her fiance at her doorstep with eyes blazing.
"Lisa was never your fiance, Logan. At least not completely and it’s up to you to accept that.“ She lowered her voice, containing her anger. On the one hand it was totally understandable that Logan was playing his role of betrayed fiancé, she couldn't imagine the pain of being betrayed by the one she loved. “If I could have avoided all this I would gladly, but it happened and now I will not give up on the only person who has ever been able to make me happy. We are two people in love with the same woman and the affection I feel for you won’t stop me from getting her back."
"So where have you all these 6 years?" He yelled and Chaeyoung took a startled step back. “I saw her cry every day for almost 1 year without knowing why! I fixed her heart while you were here all this time hiding from the world.“ He pointed his finger frantically at the blonde. “Do not take what I built, do not even think about destroying my marriage, Park. With me, Lisa and Ethan are safe, and with you? Are you bringing them to live on a ranch? Will you support them with the salary you earn as a music teacher?"
"Lisa doesn’t need to be supported, you asshole!“ She pushed him feeling the anger rise inside her when she heard the man’s absurd words. “She decided to leave me for reasons that are not for me to tell you. I didn’t go after her because I’ve been busy believing a lie she made up for my good and now I know it."
All the peaceful, loving side that Chaeyoung carried with her was pushed aside in the next push she gave to the man. Logan staggered and slammed his back on the car door, when he recovered he turned to the blonde ready to hit her.
"Are you going to hit a woman? Is this how you intend to have Lisa?“ Chaeyoung face him and the man seems to have come to his senses, then he lowered his fists and fixed his shirt collar. “Do yourself a favor and don’t waste your time with me, I’m not yours to choose whether or not to stay in Lisa’s life.“ the blonde turned her back on the lawyer and walked back to the balcony, but not before turning her body around and completing: “If you get in the way I swear I will top you, Logan. I love Lisa to the point of destroying what we call the stupid world."
Logan had tears in his eyes. He was ashamed of what he had done and even more furious at what was happening in his life. He knew he couldn’t stand in the way between Lisa and Chaeyoung, he knew he was being the stumbling block for both of them, yes, he knew all that and yet he couldn’t break free of this love that imprisoned him to selfishness. That same selfishness that kept him from letting his fiance go.
***
6:34pm.
(Play Music: Chet Baker – Almost Blue)
Meanwhile, across town, Lisa was facing herself in a battle for choices. Choices that would affect the rest of her life if not made with awareness and wisdom. Using The Village as an office break was a great way to get involved with the old Lisa. The band played a quiet Chet Baker tune and the café was empty except for a table occupied by a couple. The man was gesturing as tears streamed down the woman’s face, smudging her makeup. Probably a breakup. How many more heartbroken people? That woman had just joined the stat of 68% of people left with their hearts in pieces.
Statistics.
That’s what the world is all about, right?
It was a little late and dusk was approaching, Chaeyoung still hadn’t called or left any messages. This was weird. In the same way that Logan was strange when he arrived last night, the Thai had already returned from her walk with Chaeyoung and was sitting on the bed reading the book One Hundred Years of Solitude after playing with Ethan and putting him to bed. Logan barely bothered to ask how his day was like usual, he just took a long shower and got into bed saying he was tired and needed sleep.
She didn’t blame him, she was being distant and cold days before the wedding, obviously it affected him, but Lisa also knew Logan didn’t ask what was going on for fear of being left. Everyone who knew the man knew how insecure he could be. That was one of the points that connected them, two extremely insecure people, raised by strict families, and well, for some open-minded people like Somi, Jennie and Jisoo it might be easy to just leave the family and be with the one you really love, but for people like Lisa and Logan it’s almost impossible to go against everything that has been taught over time. Just as it is difficult for old people to accept the changes in the modern world.
And here she was, with an almost cruel doubt with only a few days to go before the wedding. She was determined to leave Logan, that was a fact, there was no doubt after a wonderful night of love with Chaeyoung. But how? How to tell all the guests that everything was canceled, how to tell Logan that she was leaving him for another? How to tell Ethan that Uncle Logan would no longer be around and that Chaeyoung would be in his place? That she would be his new mother if he let her? How to face the damn fear society and walking around hand in hand with a woman and a child? How to face your co-workers and how would your customers react to this information?
How?
“Here again, Lisa? I’m starting to think you’re in love with someone from this place.“ Eli’s voice cut the Thai’s thoughts bringing her to the real world. The man, who now looked much older and tired, was smiling sweetly and holding his apron in his hands.
“I’d be less worried if that was the reason, Eli.” She smiled sadly and took a sip of her wine. “Are you on your way out?"
“It’s the end of my shift, now I can go home and rest enough for an old man like me."
Lisa felt a great affection for the black man who had once witnessed her love. Ever since he’d returned to New York, he’d been using coffee as a refuge, and Eli had always tried to make her a free cappuccino “to ease his heart,” he said.
“Sit down with me and do me a big favor." She pointed to the empty chair at her desk and the man obeyed.
“Victim of your thoughts again, my dear?“ he questioned, but he already knew the truth. “You are so young for such concerns, I remember how you used to be shy and at the same time rebellious in the times of glory. What happened to that girl?"
“I ask myself the same question every day.“ the Thai replied sincerely and watched the man get up from the table leaving the woman wiping her tears and collecting some objects. It was a moving scene. “Why do we hurt each other if the intention of love is happiness?"
Eli followed her gaze and understood what the Thai was talking about. Both watched the woman with curly blond hair bury her face in her hands and emotionally collapse.
“We're trying to be happy that we ended up hurting people, Lisa. It’s inevitable. You can’t spend the rest of your life stuck with someone you don’t love, it’s wrong for yourself."
The veracity of the words hit the Thai.
“And yet some people do."
“And yet some people do." Eli nodded repeating her sentence, his black eyes now focused on Lisa. “There are many reasons that can bind us to a person, I am not saying that it is impossible to live with someone without love, because it is not. In the past, parents chose the bride and groom for their daughters, and these marriages used to last until the end. But, it’s not an entirely happy life, dear. What is a life with dowry and possessions if there is no love?"
“Nothing.“ the Thai finally replied, giving up on the chaos that was in her heart. “I’m nothing without Chaeyoung."
Eli raised his eyebrows in surprise at the Thai’s revelation. Not that he didn’t know those two still harbor feelings for each other, but it’s always revealing to see someone insecure like Lisa open up about their feelings.
“Ms. Park?"
Lisa smiled, hearing that name was like finally using her favorite heroine after being stuck in rehab for so long.
Rehabilitation, in this case, would be in her mind.
"It’s like I’m drowning, Eli." Lisa breathed. “It's like I’m drowning and she’s the only one who can save me."
***
20:39pm.
Olivia: Girls, we're screwed! Logan found out everything and Chaeyoung just called me, he went after her…
Somi: WHAT?! No, wait! Did Percy Jackson go after Chaeyoung? I WILL KILL HIM!
Olivia: Calm down, she knew how to defend herself and said she’s going to fight for her and blah blah blah. Sincerely? I am afraid of what might happen.
Somi: Why do you say that?
Olivia: We’re talking about Lisa, what do you think she’s going to do when the boat capsizes?
Somi: Shit… Chaeyoung is going to get hurt this time.
Olivia: Or not, but I’m worried about everyone’s good, it might even affect the little brat.
Somi: I’ve been busy with work the last few days and can’t go back, but once I get things settled around here I’ll be landing in New York. We need to help this couple for Jehovah’s sake.
Olivia: Okay, over and off.
Somi: Wierdo.
Olivia: Hey… You l-
“Stump to tie damn donkey!“ she cursed looking indignantly at the cell phone. Emily showed up shortly after with her college textbooks, the blonde was studying science at NYU and after school she always dropped by to visit Olivia at the club. They were getting along way too well, the blonde seemed to be the only person in the world who understood and even liked the woman’s way. They got along well in so many ways that within a few days they had become best friends and sometimes…Something besides that. “Can you believe the bitch hung up on me?"
“The connection between you and your friend is admirable, Liv.“ the blonde hugged the latina’s neck. “Sometimes I wonder why I like you so much."
“Because I’m hot and an amazing person.“ She smiled, sealing her lips with calm and affection. “And you are the smartest person I know, that’s why you know how to recognize my qualities."
They laughed and kept their faces pressed together for a while. It felt good just being with each other, feeling the warm embrace and the calm breath on her neck. Things like that are rare in the world we live in.
“Problems with the main couple?“ Emily asked breaking away from the hug.
Olivia huffed and hit her head lightly on the bar counter.
“I’m going crazy with these two, Em. And my brother can do shit at any time, but the idiot doesn’t listen to me." At the same moment the cell phone started vibrating on the wood of the counter and Lisa’s name appeared on the screen. “See? More shit I need to sort out, sure. Speak up, Manoban."
“Olivia, take Ethan to my house.“ It was Jennie’s voice on the other end of the line and that didn’t sound good. "Pack a suitcase for the boy and take him, Jisoo is already waiting."
“What happened?"
“Let’s say that things will change drastically."
“Jennie, don’t scare me…"
“I’m serious, Satan. Lisa is fine but in no condition to speak. I’m taking her to her parents’ house, there's some things in her family and she needs to sort it out by herself."
“And why does Ethan need to go to your house?"
“Lisa and Logan argued ugly just now, she is devastated and will stay as long as necessary in my house." Then she explains, "I need to hang up."
The phone was hung up a second time in the latina’s face, but she didn’t curse. She was transfixed with the cell phone still to her ear and Jennie’s words haunted her mind.
“What happened now?“ Emily was worried about the latina’s expression.
“Now comes the ending of the story."
***
6:04am.
The first rays of sun mixed with the moonlight, turning the sky cloudless, yellowish orange. A Thai kept her eyes fixed on the horizon watching the sunrise in Thailand, it was amazing how she didn’t miss that place. Her pupils were dilated and her hair was messier than usual. People who saw her on the passenger side of the silver convertible would say she had been rescued from a battlefield. Or perhaps the clearer option, and she had spent the night ingesting suspicious substances. In a way, there were two opposing feelings conflicting in Lisa’s chest: Love and hate.
Jennie knew this very well, and knowing her friend well enough, she opted for silence. She left the Thai to hammer out her ideas alone as it should be, while she took her to the Manoban house, as Lisa was unable to drive after spending the night on the plane.
Lisa was still motionless on the seat, she could feel the effect of the alcohol passing through body and hands sweating nonstop. If she tried a little bit, she could smell Chaeyoung in her robes, and if she closed her eyes, she would relive the kisses exchanged two days ago. This was the feeling defined as love, which would make her smile if the day after the kiss hadn’t been disastrous, thus creating all that anger inside her.
The car stopped and it was Lisa’s cue to open the door and slam it, albeit unintentionally, before staggering into the driveway.
“Don’t do anything stupid, Manoban." She heard Jennie say calmly, more like a masked request.
She looked at her friend and shook her head awkwardly, difficult to understand if it had been a positive or negative sign. Jennie waited until the young woman opened the gate, after insisting on using her car keys, to accelerate her convertible and disappear around the first corner to her parents’ house. The sun had already taken over the blue sky, light flooding the living room windows, illuminating much of the house. Lisa stood there for a few seconds, analyzing the place she was one lived, and it took her a long time to cross the garden and finally open the front door with the key she still had. It was necessary to lean on the chair to be in control of her body. The first feeling that came to her mind was disgust, and then anger. She dropped the lamp, which shattered on the floor, making a shrill sound. She ran her hand over the piano keys and finally reached a corner table, where there were family photos. She grabbed the picture frame where she was with her father and threw it against the opposite wall using all her strength, with the noise, lights were turned on in the corridors and a thick voice echoed from there:
“Who’s there?“ seconds later, Marco Manoban appeared in his blue robe and a shotgun in hand. “Pranpriya?“ He was surprised when he came face to face with his eldest daughter standing in the center of the room. “What are you doing here?"
Amy appeared soon after with her hands over her heart and Lucas ran down the stairs, stopping beside her sister.
“Lisa?“ he called worried as if he were talking to a madwoman. He had returned to spend time with his parents, never stopped being an egg slob anyway. “Are you drunk?"
Marco lowered the gun and a frown formed on his face. Amy grabbed his arm, preventing him from making a mistake with her daughter.
“I’m waiting for an explanation for this attitude, Pranpriya!" He exclaimed authoritatively.
Lisa didn’t seem shaken by her father’s tone of voice, on the contrary, she could only feel more anger and disgust at the man in front of her.
“Just before I left the office,” she began, her voice hoarse. “a woman appeared asking for help. It took a while before I recognized her, it was Helena.“ Marco petrified. Helena used to be employed by the Manoban when Lisa was still little. “She wanted to claim pension from the man who got her pregnant and sought help from the best lawyer in the country. She just didn’t expect the lawyer being the man’s daughter."
The words were released as if in mockery. Lucas took two steps back looking directly into his sister’s eyes with understanding. Amy froze in her seat and Marco looked as if he’d been punched in the face.
The three of them were wide-eyed at Lisa at that moment, their fury contained in every word past the hatred that was stored inside that Manoban heart. Amy trembled a lot and Marco had never been so embarrassed in his life. Lucas was afraid of what his older sister would do.
“Is it true?“ Asked the Thai with tears running down uncontrollably and her face red. Amy came forward to her daughter:
“Lisa, my daughter…"
“Is it true?“ She shouted making everyone jump.
Amy backed away instantly and just nodded. Having the truth confirmed right in front of her, even though she already knew it, made her head spin and her stomach ache as if it pierced her from the inside. She shot her brother a hurt look.
“Did you know?"
Lucas also nod his head, unable to say anything. Lisa lifted her head up wondering why this was happening to her, so much pain inside her, every moment, betrayed by her parents. She lowered her head and cast a direct look at her father, not a hurt or questioning look, but one of hatred. She's sure she didn’t know that man in front of her, he was just a stranger. The look seemed to affect the man, that unshakable fortress, Marco shuddered! He could barely hold his daughter’s gaze. With difficulty, he looked at the woman and Lucas, and just like that, he turned his back on what was happening and walked into his office, the sound of the key being rotated could be heard, Lisa remained in place, watching the varnished wood.
Welcoming arms touched Lisa’s shoulder and she flinched, too angry to let herself be touched by anyone. It was Lucas, who stood beside his mother, he was crying silently now, sad for what his sister was going through, unhappy that he had failed to protect her from all this pain.
“Don’t you get tired of disappointing me?“ The Thai’s voice was choked, but controlled.
“I don’t want to lose you again.“ Amy said staring at the floor with sad eyes.
Lisa sighed heavily and ran her hands through her hair again.
“All I needed was people who would be honest with me and tell me the truth. I am a doll in your hand, just to be manipulated, as I have been for all this time. They always created a fantasy, a perfect family that never existed!" She shouted loudly, wanting to make sure her father was listening. She wanted to make sure her soul was clean when she was done. She walked from one side to the other hugging herself. She heard a loud sob from Amy, and she stuttered out the words, not knowing what to say. “How could you forgive him? After everything he did, after destroying my life when I was just a teenager. Why, mom?“ She turned around and found her mother grabbing her arms, begging her to hear her.
“I was leaving, Lisa. I swear I tried.“ Her eyes went vacant, as if she remembered that day. “Everything was ready, I would never come back. But then I started watching you, Lucas and Jules. The way you got along, your arguments, God, the house was so full, like a real family.“ She looked back at her daughter, she was no longer trembling, but crying. “I could not. Do you know what it’s like for a mother to lose her family? I didn’t… I couldn’t."
(Play in the Music: Something inside – August Rush)
When the one thing you’re looking for
Is nowhere to be found
And you back stepping all of your moves
Trying to figure it out
You wanna reach out
You wanna give in
A few seconds in silence, just mother and daughter watching each other’s eyes, as they were identical, but with such different meanings.
“You decided to ignore what he did." Lisa accused.
Amy denied it, relaxing her strength in her daughter’s arms.
“I decided to keep him for… For all the good things he did.“ She wiped her own tears and gave a small smile to Lisa “And I didn’t leave by mistake. I decided to forgive him."
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on
It’s the first thing you see as you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on
Lisa denied with her head crying harder, she pulled her mother’s arms away from her and backed up a few steps without taking her eyes off her. She knew inside that Amy had always been a good person, she almost never agreed with the things Marco did. She just didn’t understand why her mother put up with everything in silence.
The last thing Lucas and Amy could hear was the door being slammed shut. Lisa was out of control, hate no longer gripping her as it used to, now it was just sadness, a broken heart. Ripped apart. She wiped her tears so that no one would see her in that state and took the first taxi that showed up to Jennie’s house.
She needed to get back to New York as soon as possible.
Cause if you hadn’t found me
I would have found you
I would have found you
She remembers watching her father when she was little. She loved spending hours sitting on the floor in his office watching the way he answered the phone, treated people, was so determined, like a Manoban. The little Thai girl dreamed of one day being able to be like him, and now she wished she had never had that blood in her veins.
***
Chaeyoung opens the door and her heart stops instantly. The surreal image she sees makes her soul cry before hugging the sad-eyed Thai. She had a defeated Lisa in front of her, shoulders slumped, breathing changed, eyes red from crying.
“Lili, what happened?" She asked, already knowing the answer from Jennie’s messages.
So long you’ve been running in circles
‘Round what’s at stake
But now the times come for your feet to stand still in one place
You wanna reach out
You wanna give in
Your head’s wrapped around what’s the next bend
She stared at Chaeyoung deeply, but unlike the other three people, she lacked. The blonde made way for Lisa to enter her house at a slow pace, absorbing the truth. They went to the bedroom and the Thai threw herself on the bed, wiping the tears that still bathed her face.
Chaeyoung took her hand.
“I feel sorry for your father." Lisa knew she was being honest, and that comforted her. “I wish I could fix this little broken heart with lots of kisses and affection."
Oh, tears. Heart that slowly remakes itself, that sudden butterflies in the stomach that make the whole body shiver. Lisa felt it all as, beside Chaeyoung, any pain faded into oblivion.
“Can I sleep here with you?“ that came out so childish from Lisa that Chaeyoung wanted to cry.
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on
It’s the first thing you see as you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on
Could she? It was everything the older woman wanted most, everything she needed most, that was it, Lisa was hers and she was Lisa’s, that was how things worked. She took care of her frail Thai, always knew how to do it, learned to know Lisa’s biggest fears, and ways to face them.
The two women lay down facing each other, still holding hands. Lisa hadn’t stopped crying, but she knew it would happen sometime in the night. She just needed to feel that Chaeyoung was close to know that she was protected, that the problems were nothing if she was with her.
Cause if you hadn’t found me
I would have found you
I would have found you
She just needed… Chaeyoung.
Her Chaeyoung.