He did it for the thing I wanted most?
My cheeks burn and my legs shake as I push away from the counter and stalk toward Kyron. I stop short of the bed and glare down at him. Through my gritted teeth, I say, "Don't you dare tell me you did it for my father."
"I did it for you, so you could take him home."
"Fuck you, Kyron! We could have found another way, but you left me in the dark. In fact, you conveniently left me in the dark about a lot of things."
He winces as he stands and towers over me, his black and amber eyes blazing. His jaw ticks as he runs his tongue over his teeth. "If I thought for a second we could walk in here and rescue him, we would have done it."
I pull my shoulders back and lift my chin. "We knew it was going to be hard. I wasn't delusional about that, but you started plotting with your mother a month before we attacked. You let her know my soldiers were coming."
"Your soldiers? I believe I was their general."
I scoff and shake my head. "You stopped being their general the minute you purposefully put their lives at risk."
"I took the necessary steps to protect them. I put a clear contingency plan into play to minimize the loss."
"And that was the only thing which went to plan that day! We were lucky the casualties weren't greater."
"Because I outfitted them with armor to protect them!"
My body trembles and I clench my fists at my side. The anger brewing in me heats my face and I scream, "And what about me? How the fuck were you going to protect me? You left me to go down into the cells by myself."
"My warriors were on orders not to hurt you, Raelle."
"Your warriors? Your fucking warriors! You were Lucent's general or Stigian's prince; you can't be both." I turn around and move to grip my hair, only to find my crown in the way. I rip it off and toss it onto the tabletop. It slides across the surface and stops before it can tip to the ground. I swallow down the lump in my throat and say, "They were told not to harm me because I'm your parah. You knew what we are, and you said nothing to me. When did you figure it out, Kyron?"
His throat bobs and his voice drops to barely a whisper. "I had my first suspension they night I took you to stream to watch the aurora. And I knew for sure after you almost drained me."
A breathy, humorless laugh escapes me. "That's a long time to keep something so important to yourself. You didn't feel compelled to share what you discovered with me? I mean, it pertained to me as well."
"I'd asked you that day in the infirmary why you thought you were drawn to my gift more than anyone else. You had a reasonable explanation about me being an elemental, so I decided to ease you into it. When I realized you wouldn't break your bond with Leif no matter what, I thought it was best to keep it a secret. I know the pain of not fully having your Parah, and I didn't want you to suffer that too."
I leave the room in silence for a moment while I let his confession sink in. His actions were not right, but they were reasonable. If he felt a fraction of the pain I've felt these past months, his choice was selfless. Merciful even. And perhaps I could forgive him if it weren't for the decisions he made afterward.
"So if you had to live with the pain of being separated, why not do it with a crown on your head?Oh, and you didn't have to bear you big secret alone anymore; you could tell your mother," I say, sarcasm drenching every word.
Kyron shoves one hand in his pocket and cradles the injured one to his chest. With an unnerving calm, he says, "It is in her best interest to keep my parah safe. I used it to your advantage."
"No, you used me to your advantage."
"Stop being so damn stubborn, Raelle. Your father was shackled to my mother's throne! What other choice did we have?"
"Did you discover that before or after she had a Cognus unbind your memories? I bet it felt good to get back at the men who stole years of your life, made sure you wouldn't return to your mother, and hindered you from taking the crown you were born to wear. And why not fuck over the person who would be their next queen and your new rival? What a sweet bonus I must have been."
"Are you fucking kidding me? Tell me how you were going to get past the warriors here! You couldn't just walk in, unchain him, and walk out."
"Obviously there are some holes in the security, or you wouldn't be bleeding, and we wouldn't be locked in here together! So don't tell me there was no other choice, Kyron! Don't justify what you did with a bond which meant nothing to you."
"And don't you tell me how I feel about our bond, or how I feel about you!" He runs his hand over his face and clenches his eyes closed. The seconds slowly tick by and when he looks at me again, calm has washed over him. "There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you, including shackle myself to Stigian."
I stumble back until my ass hits the edge of the table, and my voice is hoarse as I say, "Including hurting me, because you should know you broke my heart and left me in shreds."
"I'm sorry." Kyron steps forward, closing the distance between us, and I grip the edge of the table. Despite the pain it must cause him, he takes my cheeks into his hands and brushes his thumbs along the trail of tears running down my face. "Every day without you has been an infinite void, and the only thing keeping me going is the unbearable pain which never eases. It's all I have to remind me you were real."
I understand the pain and emptiness; it's the feelings I spent months running from. But now with him so close and his power flowing between us, pulling us together, the hurt is soothed, and his presence fills the chasm his absence left in my heart. I close my eyes and revel in the sensation. My hands move of their own accord, and I brush my knuckles against his abdomen. When my palms ache to touch him, I turn them and rest them on his chest, feeling the warmth he emanates.
With my eyes closed, I can push reality away and live in a realm where it is only Kyron and me. He isn't the blood heir to both our kingdoms. My trust in him isn't broken, and my heart is whole. We are not bound to duty and the lives of so many don't rest in our hands. This fantasy is so much easier to exist in.
The Statera may have chosen him as my perfect partner, but I once chose him as my escape. His lips had a way of drowning out the demands and expectations. He made me feel light and free when his arms were around me. For minutes, I no longer had to carry my burdens on my own, because he was crafted by the creator to handle what I could not. I would give anything for that reprieve again. I'd even sell a sliver of my soul.
I push up on my toes and stretch my neck to brush my lips to his. They are so soft and giving. He parts them, and I capture his bottom lip between mine and taste him with a stroke of my tongue. Tilting my head back further, he pulls me closer with a hand at my waist. I open to him and sink against his body, lost in the taste of cinnamon and the scent of pine.
Kyron lifts me to the tabletop, my crown clanks to the floor, and my fingers grip the silky black hair at the back of his neck. His hand finds the slit at my thigh and slides up, bringing my leg around his waist and leaning me back on the table. He leaves my lips and kisses my neck, peppering it with laps of his tongue and the scraping of his teeth. I arch into him, feeling the hard proof of his desire pressed to the apex of my legs.
"Oh, Statera help me," I breathe as he rocks against me, sending jolts of desire humming through my entire body.
The way he makes me feel with the touch of his lips and the stroke of his hands is intoxicating. I want him to subside the ache between my legs, to remind me how spectacular it felt to press my naked body to his. I want to hear him moan my name and bury himself deep inside of me. I want to be one with my parah.
He lifts his mouth from my skin, and a rush of cool air washes over me. I open my eyes, searching for the reason he pulled away and meet his dark, passion-filled gaze.
His irises—they were once the color of warm honey. Before he was forced to siphon from others. Before his mother led him to kill another and flee his kingdom. Before he was the ruler of Stigian. Now they are black, marred by the most grotesque of sins. I thought his transgressions against Cyffreds were not his fault, that he was an innocent bystander in his mother's wicked games. But the deep ebony void is now there by choice. A choice which was made clear to me the moment he took my gift.
I fight past the emotion building inside me and run my fingers over his swollen lips. "I missed you so much. It should have gotten easier the longer we were apart, but the anguish only grew stronger. But I'm learning to live with the hurt," I push against his chest, forcing him to stand, "because in the world you built for us, we can't exist as anything more than enemies." I sit up and brush my hands over my dirty gown.
"That's bullshit and you know it, Raelle. We aren't limited by the sins of two kingdoms."
I once believed I could have him and serve my people. It was as simple as choosing to make it work, but the treaties, oaths, and bonds prove otherwise.
"That would be true if your kingdom didn't believe in enslaving Cyffreds, mine wasn't fighting to free them, and we weren't chosen to be their next rulers."
The door across the room clicks, and we both watch as it slides open, revealing Micah, Esmeray, and my father. I jump down from the table, snatch up my crown, and rush towards the exit, needing distance to get my head on straight. Before I leave, I look at the iron and rubies in my hand and a thought occurs to me. It's something Kyron should know now that he will be the next king of Stigian.
I turn, look him in the eyes, and say, "Crushing, suffocating, and heavy is the crown, Your Grace."
With that, I rest my crown on my head and saunter out of the room, past those who set us at war.