Aspen's hands clenched back and forth against the bike's handle as he maneuvered through the lanes of cars. I only knew this because I was held onto him so tightly (begrudgingly at that) with the speed he was going at. I was still slightly intoxicated and every hole we sunk in or tried to maneuver around was just another threat to my fragile stomach contents.
"Are you vex with me?" I asked against the roar of the wind, smacking my lips together. I never knew your lips get numb when you're intoxicated. I should though, studying medicine and all. Maybe I did but at that moment I couldn't remember a lot. I blamed the alcohol for that too. It was fun and I found myself giggling as I tested it out.
"Will you stop that?" He snapped.
I furrowed my eyebrows, "stop what? Laughing? Didn't know it was a crime to enjoy life, Aspen."
"You're so infuriating. Sometimes I wonder how someone could be so dimwitted."
"Oh gee thanks," I spat out sarcastically already feeling my mood do a 180-degree turn. My voice cracked and I cursed the alcohol for making my emotions heighten and my heartache.
He glanced behind at my eyes covered by his helmet and his face suddenly softened, "I'm sorry Tostito, I honestly didn't mean it. I just... I guess I'm just annoyed."
"Will you stop calling me that ridiculous name. We're not friends Aspen, I barely know you and I don't think, wait no, I definitely still don't want to," feeling the salty tears flow past my mouth, I folded my arms and turned my head to face the buildings we passed. I wasn't in the mood to even acknowledge his presence. I didn't even care about the consequences of my harsh words. I ended up still mumbling just because I was feeling petty, "you disgust me."
He never said anything else for the whole ride to my home.
Or for the following week after that.
We hadn't acknowledged each other's existence in the past eight days and I didn't care. Well, at least I didn't want to. I stopped bothering to wake up early and by the time I did, he was already out the house going to who knew where. It was like deja vu. The only time we had to deal with each other was through dinner and it ended in awkward silence. I think Meredith realized but my dad was so unobservant he just continued to talk stories of the ER he thought we were engaged in.
It was for the best. He was leaving soon and I only had two and a half more weeks of vacation. I wasn't going to let Aspen's broody mood affect mine. Even though I was sure it matched already.
"Wynter?" I looked up from the magazine I was reading on the dining table to see Meredith leaning against the door frame, "I was just wondering if we could talk. I need to run to the supermarket and want some company."
I didn't entirely want to spend my Sunday doing errands but I got up from my chair knowing with Meredith she wasn't going to take no for an answer.
"Okay let's go."
I pushed the cart as Meredith ran a long manicured nail through the different kinds of pasta lined up on the shelves.
"I don't know why it's so hard to find gluten-free pasta," she commented. I wasn't sure what to reply so I didn't.
"So the real reason I asked you to come with me is because of my brother," She began and my interest suddenly perked up.
"I think you need to know something about him. I know it's not my place but I could tell something's going on between you two. I know him well enough to know that a pretty girl like you is hard for him to resist. Whatever he said or did please forgive him. Let bygones be bygones, Wynter."
I started to interject before she cut me off, "I need you to trust me. He's, well he's..."
I could tell something in her mind was battling. Figuring out if she should tell me this one secret about Aspen that maybe she wasn't allowed to.
"Just for me. Hear him out. He came here to figure out some things and you being angry at him or vice versa isn't good for anyone. I need him to get better."
I wanted to ask her exactly what he needed to get better from. It didn't seem like it was health-related. Whatever it was it had her in a mess, her whole face looked pained as she continued, "He's a good person Wyn, just give him a chance. For me."
We took another twenty minutes going up and down the aisles but my mind wasn't really there anymore. Her words seemed to bother me more than they should and I pondered them for the entire ride home.
She seemed so distraught when she was talking to me earlier I could tell it took a lot out of her to even ask me for the favor. I really didn't think I could forgive Aspen for the hateful words but something about when she said 'get better' made me have a brief moment of worry for him. I didn't want to be the reason he didn't. I was studying medicine trying to save people's lives not destroy them. For once I was willing to suck it up.
So after some self-punishment being stuck in my mind for the rest of the evening I eventually found myself waiting on the front porch steps. The stars loomed low, sparkling the patches of asphalt around me. Sparkles on me tickled my skin, goosebumps. They filled most of the sky that night and I took that as a sign of good luck, allowing a perfect glow to be layered on everything in my path of view. Aspen arrived home minutes later. And again I couldn't stop wondering where'd he been. With Luca? At the casino?
He climbed out of one of our extra cars, his leather jacket reflecting off the moon's light. I found it strange he didn't use his bike. He paused, taking out a cigarette. You are killing yourself, I thought. That's how life worked. That's all it ever was, a decanting of life and death. The piece of death lit up, creating an orange ember in its path. He seemed tired as his shoulders slumped, making his way closer to me. I cleared my throat, causing his gaze to travel from the shuffling of his feet to my face.
"Take a seat with me?" I asked timidly, patting the step ledge I was perched on. With a heavy sigh, he plopped down and leaned on his knees for support.
I watched him, noticing the stubble grown from his beard area that wasn't there last week. I had to remind myself if we were ever good I'd tell him he actually pulled off the scruffy look well.
"So," I began.
"So," he continued. The cigarette sizzled in sound as he took a deep breath in. Filling his lungs with the smoke.
"Aspen, what happened last week was well...I just want to move on and start over. From the very beginning. Forget the almost kiss, forget the fight. Let's just get to know one another and try to be friends...Oh and try not to strangle each other in the process."
He continued to look at something far away I couldn't see. I wasn't even sure he was staring at anything in particular. But I waited. It took him a good few seconds to reply.
"I don't think I could be friends with you Wynter."
"What do you mean by that?" I asked, masking my disappointment.
There I was trying my hardest to make amends and he was being an asshole like usual. I shouldn't have put it past him. Someone like Aspen would never change, he seemed like the type who was just good at pushing people away.
I cursed myself for even agreeing to be the bigger person and let Meredith get into my head. A weak and amateur move, showing my vulnerability for him to just come and crush it with one line.
He took an agonizingly long pull of his cigarette before he continued. Letting out a stream of smoke that had me choking for air.
"I mean, I don't think I could just be friends with you," He stressed and finally looked at me. My breathing hitched as my mind didn't seem to want to process his words, "that first time we almost kissed, yes I did it to mess with you. But I also felt attracted to you.
Stunned. Dumbfounded. My brain didn't form words. It couldn't process his either. It couldn't. Not when he was staring at me so intently. His lips parted slightly and I made an active choice to watch them. Watch them as they slowly moved closer to me.
"I mean really attracted to you. And when I almost kissed you I felt something I hadn't in three years."
His hand rose to caress my cheek, the warmth of his touch sending tingles down my spine. A language I could not translate into English, or Spanish, or any native language. But a language he understood. And then he kissed me.
It was even better than what I had imagined.