Time is too short for unspoken words
••••
BLAIR'S POV
I find myself on the search for the mystery disappearance of Penelope Park.
After she left my room, I couldn't stop wondering about what she intended to say to me.
I spent most of my life bottling up unspoken conversations, and getting frustrated at myself for never releasing what I allowed build inside my chest. I hope she wasn't in the same stage. The recovery is tremendously long.
It takes me three minutes to hunt the girl down - she's in the student lounge, slumped over a thick novel with horrific posture and twirling a strand of hair around her index finger.
Target acquired.
I hop over the backside of the sofa she is seated on and plop down beside her. She is startled by my abrupt greeting and throws a right hook into my left shoulder without much thought, or any thought at all.
Who knew she could throw hands, I assumed she was just all spells and threats.
Penelope simmers once realising I was not an assailant, though she still glares at me with a heated passion.
I laugh amusedly, brushing aside the slight tingling sensation in my shoulder and peek over at the book she's reading. "Oooh, Park, I see you like sappy romance." I tease.
Spoiler alert the happy couple both tragically die in the end.
Penelope snaps the book shut, huffing and puffing loudly. "Blair, what do you want?" She's ice cold, it has to be because of something I said. But what did I say that upset her so harshly?
"I want you to talk to me."
"I didn't realise that isn't what we're doing right now." She answers sarcastically, rolling her eyes.
I mimic her eye roll and shift closer to her, hoping she doesn't let loose of another punch aimed for my shoulder. "You left my room wanting to talk, so I'm here now. Say whatever it is you wanted to when you felt like you couldn't."
Penelope hesitates, her eyes filling with.. anger?
"It doesn't work like that, Blair!" She suddenly exclaims, launching to her feet with the book clutched to her chest tightly, knuckles clenched white. "You don't have the right to act like you care when the only person you do care about is that damn Saltzman!" She shouts into one heaving breath and spins around with the intention to run.
I stand up and grab her shoulder before she can scamper away like earlier. "Penelope..." though as she slowly turns, her brown eyes are brimmed with tears she's forcing back. "Where is this coming from?"
"Don't." She mumbles, breath trapping inside her throat. "It's better if you don't know the answers."
"I don't know where you formed the idea that I don't care about you, because I do. I was actually starting to like you-"
"You don't like me, Blair." Penelope cuts in sharply, her voice hoarse.
A frown dims my face. "Of course I like you. Truth be told, I didn't at first because of the blackmail and threatening- okay anyway we developed over time and I think it's nice where we're at-"
Penelope interrupts me, again. Except this time she looks at me, dead in the eye and she speaks sharply, each word jabbing at me.
"You spent so long pining after Saltzman, only to have experienced what felt like heartbreak when you thought she didn't love you back. You were so blindsided by her that you never stopped to look around, because if you did, maybe you would have noticed the linger of someone else's stare." She confesses through tears.
Unable to stop her, she's off at the speed of light, vanishing from my sights.
I collapse back onto the sofa and absorb every word, even going to the extent of replaying our conversation. I sit with what she said for a few minutes which eventually crosses over into a wasteful twenty of just mindless thoughts.
Does this mean Penelope likes me on another level of liking someone? I haven't been this confused since I tried solving a quadratic equation without a calculator.
"Hey, Blair," Mg is towering over me once I register reality and phase back into current time. "Feeling alright?" He asks, taking a seat on the coffee table in front of me.
If Josie caught him doing that, Mg would be scolded for his lack of manners and unhygienic habits.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I say, giving him a tight lipped smile. "I'm surprised you're speaking to me."
He tilts his head. "Why wouldn't I? We're vampire buddies, remember?"
"After returning from.. well you know, everyone around here stares at me like I'm going to make them my next meal. It's a horrible feeling."
"Blair, I know that wasn't really you, and just because everyone else has poor judgment doesn't mean I do. You're my friend, that's not changing anytime soon." He pats my knee and I smile softly. Mg knows what to say, he knows exactly how to weave under my skin and comfort me without barely doing much.
"Thanks, Mg, I needed to hear that."
The boy grins. "That's what I'm here for."
"Seen Penelope today?" I ask, wanting to know if she has been upset the entire day.
"No, but I heard her."
I furrow my eyebrows. "What do you mean by that?"
Mg lowers his head in sympathy. "I live across the hall from her. She's been crying all morning. At first I didn't think it was her because I didn't know demons could be sad, but nope it was definitely her."
"Wow," I run my fingers through my hair. "I might have something to do with that."
"You upset The Penelope Park?" His mouth drops open in shock. I would be surprised too if I didn't know her like I do now. She's just a hurt girl cowering behind a tough act.
"I think, but I didn't mean to. Do you know if Penelope has a crush on anyone at this school?" I dig deeper, crossing my fingers for a no in response. If it's true and Penelope likes me, that'll complicate everything.
Mg ponders for a moment then his face brightens. "You won't believe this but she told me about this girl she has liked ever since they showed up in Mystic Falls. She didn't give a name though."
I slump back, soaking in the pieces to fit the bigger picture. Penelope likes me. She likes me. What am I supposed to do with that, how do I let her down easily with minimal damage. Is it even possible?
Why do you even like me Penelope Park, I can barely hold myself together at times even with multiple layers of glue and hundreds of failed attempts. And I can't flirt to save a life, nor am I romantic.
"Why are you asking this?" Mg questions, lifting his eyebrows.
"Just curious." I reply, noticing Hope exiting the student lounge behind Mg's head.
"I'll see you around, Mg." I say to him and he smiles and salutes as I pounce off the sofa and chase Hope down the hall.
"Hope!" I yell out, tailing behind her. The girl whips around faster than humanely possible and it catches me off guard. I trip on air and fall on my face at her feet.
Wow, I couldn't be any more embarrassing.
Hope laughs loudly and she crouches down to my level. "What happened to vampires having heightened reflexes?" She quips, lending me her hand. "You must be half asleep."
I awkwardly return to my feet with her minor help and ignore her comment to get straight to the point.
"PenelopelikesmeandIdon'tknowwhattodo!"
Hope narrows her eyes, puzzled by my splutter of words. "Okay, it's nice to see that you decided to stay. I can't exactly tell you to breathe but calm down and repeat your sentence."
I lick my lips and calm myself down. "Penelope likes me and I don't know what to do about it." I repeat in a clearer tone.
Hope's eyes enlarge and she clears her throat quietly. "That's awkward.." she forces a laugh, giving me a weird stare. "Do you like her back?"
"No," I say, but a heavy feeling weighs in my chest, an unknown ache that I have never felt before. "No, I like Lizzie." It almost sounds like I'm con-
"You don't need to convince me, Blair." So Hope wasn't the only one who noticed, but I wish she hadn't. Does that make me sound like someone whose indecisive and doesn't know what they want?
No, that's too specific.
"I don't want to hurt Penelope, but I don't think I could ever look at her any differently than just a friend."
Hope hums softly, moving her gaze from mine and to the left of me. "Looks like lover girl is heading this way now." She says sourly, stepping away from me. I never noticed how close we stood, she was just bare inches off.
I raise my eyebrows and glance over at the approaching person. A smile tugs subconsciously at my lips.
Lizzie walks straight for me, her blonde hair bouncing in soft curls she must've spent some time styling. Her eyes connect with mine and they never leave as she breaks the distance between us. "Hey." she breathes out, grinning.
I was so drawn to Lizzie's unmatched beauty that I lost sight of Hope and when I turned around, she was gone.
I guess I'll talk to her later.
"Hey." I say back.
"My dad wants to apologise to you." The smile on my face drops.
"I don't want to hear his apology." I state, clenching my jaw.
Does a man who is experienced in his research and claims to know his students not even know how to simply take a hint? Come on, I thought I made myself pretty clear when I punched him.
"But-" she aims to protest, sticking up for him but I sigh and she closes her mouth.
"Lizzie, I'm going to need time rebuilding my respect for him. Surely he can give me that, it's all I ask from him."
Lizzie looks down at her shoes, biting her bottom lip nervously. "Well, you're probably not going to like what's about to happen then."
"What do you mean?"
Lizzie clicks her tongue, "He's behind you."
I spin around, my fist already balled at my side and aching. The man's face comes into view and I know I shouldn't go soft on him just because of our past, but he looks miserable and part of that saddens me.
"I don't want to hear it, Dr. Saltzman."
He scratches at the patch of stubble on his chin. I had grown used to seeing him clean shaven. Maybe he's genuinely sorry that he's forgotten to prioritise his daily routine, like constantly shaving. "Please, Blair, I can't move on with this regret clinging to me. I know you can forgive me, you wrote me a letter. Just tell me what I can do."
I exhale harshly. "Then maybe you shouldn't have leaped into such hurtful conclusions about me. You knew of my family's history, you even told me you feared I was going to wind up like my father. But the thought never occurred to you that I was possessed by some manic woman I once had to call mom!" I snap, curling my nails deep into my skin.
Alaric glances down in shame. "It didn't seem like something that was possible. You assured me she was dead." He mutters, unable to look me in the eyes as he speaks.
I scoff, stepping away from him. I hate that my eyes begin to water. I trusted this man with so many of my insecurities, fears, stories that only he knew, just to feel betrayed at his hand.
"I'm a fucking vampire that feeds off blood. I myself, am dead. If I don't wear this stupid ring, I'll explode in the sunlight. Your daughters are witches. Your most prized student is a tribrid! Does any of that seem normal to you!" My voice rages, throat tightening as my words bite.
Alaric keeps his gaze drawn to the ground. "I'm sorry, Blair. I don't know what else I can do or say."
Lizzie grabs my hands and I feel her fingers intertwine with mine. A sense of ease washes over me but doesn't completely erase my anger. "How about staying the hell away from me. That sounds like a pretty damn good place to start."
I don't listen to what he has to say after I end my sentence and tug on Lizzie's hand, dragging us back into the student lounge. I fall onto the couch and pull Lizzie down with me, she waits until I speak.
"Did you take part in that setup?"
Lizzie looks at me, frowning. "I just wanted to help."
"Him or me?" I ask, feeling her skin begin to sweat as her hands slip from mine and she wipes them against her knee. "Because it didn't help me at all."
"Both," she sighs, fidgeting with her fingers. "I'm sorry, Blair. I hope I didn't blow my second chance with you again."
I shake my head, not able to hold a grudge against her and tone down the anger I had felt prior to this moment.
She just wanted to help. It doesn't matter that she wasn't successful, the thought of her wanting to help me should mean something to me.
And it does.
"You didn't blow anything, Lizzie. You're doing just fine." I send her a smile, brushing the fallen hair from her face. Her eyes widen as my other hand accidentally brushes over her thigh, cheeks flushing red.
"Sorry, I was just adjusting my hand." I apologise and proceed to move my hand, but she grabs hold of my wrist.
"Keep it there." She says in a dangerously quiet voice. She takes my hand and slowly traces it up her skirt, it disappears inside the material but only just as I feel her hand rest atop of mine.
I stare at her, open mouthed and my eyebrows bunched. She just smiles as if nothing happened and even begins talking.
"I know that Josie mentioned the talent show to you but I didn't hear of your answer. It's tomorrow night. Would you want to accompany me.." she pauses, her eyes dropping down to the visible lump under her skirt of our stacked hands. "-As my date?"
I shut my mouth finally and draw my attention away from the feeling of her warm skin burning against my palm. "Sure." I answer, not entirely certain of what I agreed to, but I had to reply with something.
Lizzie smirks, looking at me intensely. She squeezes my hand which automatically causes me to grip her thigh. "Amazing."
"Hey guys!" Josie's abrupt greeting makes me jolt and my hand to immediately return to my own lap.
"Hey, Jo." Lizzie responds causally, still the remaining smirk left behind.
Josie smiles softly at me. "I'm really glad to see your face, Blair."
I return her smile, "I'm happy to be here." That's wasn't completely the truth but a white lie never hurt anybody.
The brunette slumps down into the chair across from us, breathing out tiredly. "You'll never guess what happened with Penelope earlier."
Lizzie's ears metaphorically perk up. "What happened!?" She exclaims in questioning, scooting to the edge of her seat with anticipation.
"She bumped into me and when I snapped at her, she looked up at me and had been crying. I felt bad and asked her what happened and she told me to go to hell." Josie shares her story, pouting along the way for expressive effect.
I nibble on my bottom lip anxiously, not even noticing my knee began to bounce.
"Oh she did not!" Lizzie grumbles. "That's ironic, Satan herself is telling you to go to hell. What a sly little bit-" she cuts herself short as Hope approaches, her gaze remains glued to her shoes.
"Sorry, I just forgot something." Hope awkwardly shuffles past us, hovering directly over me to access the bookshelf attached to the wall behind me. When she stretches across me, her chest almost presses against my face.
Oh my fuckin-
"Did you find what you were looking for?" Lizzie practically snarls, her hand finding mine on the sofa.
Hope glances down at me as she's literally above me, the smallest of grins appears on her smug face. "Just found it actually." She hums and pulls away from me with a book in her hand. I skim the title quickly.
Dancing with Her Demons.
I've read that before. It ends with two women dying side by side after the world fell apart around them and everyone hunted them for sport. It's amazing if you're in the mood for ugly crying.
"That's a great book." I speak up, seeing Hope's smile return as she tucks the novel under her arm.
"You have excellent taste."
Lizzie's grasp tightens around my hand, and for some reason that excited me. She's expressing jealously, something I always wanted to see her do.
"As do you, Hope. Happy reading."
"I think that's your cue to leave, Mikaelson!" Lizzie snaps so unnecessarily. What is happening around here?
"Lizzie..." Josie mumbles, sending an apologetic smile Hope's way.
"What?" Lizzie husks out, a roughness in her tone that wasn't present before. "She's eyeing Blair up and down, she couldn't make it any more obvious!" It has been tense between them since I returned, but something could've happened between them before that.
Hope laughs humorously, tilting her head to the side to peer down at Lizzie, irritation evident in her expression.
"Are you insecure, Lizzie? What, I can't look at the friend," she pauses and I fear what she says next as she glimpses at me with a wicked smirk. "-Who I slept with just trying to help her cope with the trauma that you were the cause of!"
My mouth slacks open, and my eyes nervously dart between the three girls, witnessing every different reaction.
Josie lets loose of a surprised gasp, placing a hand over her mouth. For just a second, hurt dashes across her pupils. "Oh my god." She whispers.
Lizzie just looks angry, her cheeks burning a fiery red but I rub my finger across her knuckles and she seems to stump about half of her rage. "You slept with Hope?" She's staring at me now, blue eyes large with disbelief.
I glance at Hope, my eyes slanting with betrayal. I can't believe she just exposed that. It was something I didn't want to get out there and now it is.
I scratch the back of my head, reluctantly drawing my hand back from Lizzie's. "I wasn't in my right state of mind. I was hurt, and needed someone that needed me back just as much. So yes, I slept with Hope." I confess, already wincing for Lizzie to explode on the spot but she doesn't.
"Unbelievable." Lizzie shakes her head, her jaw tense and knuckles clenched.
"I also punched your dad." I add, figuring I should spill everything while I'm at it.
Josie gasps again, except much louder and unexpected, meanwhile Hope was obviously not fazed. "You punched our dad?"
Lizzie rubs at her eyes harshly. "Oh great, the day just continues getting better." She sarcastically says.
"And I-"
"What, slept with my sister too?" Josie throws a pillow at her twin, narrowing her eyes.
"That's my friend, Liz!" Josie exclaims with a pink blush, embarrassed.
Hope tries her absolute best not to break down laughing.
"God no, but I almost kissed her one time." The first week I was here, Josie helped me unpack a few boxes in the moving stage. When I bent down to grab one, she reached for the same one and our lips only just grazed. It was the most painfully awkward experience of my entire existence.
"Fantastic. Anything else you want to confess? The floor is very much open for you."
"I have an important question to ask instead."
Lizzie looks at me curiously, her facial features softening, no trace of annoyance or envy left. "And what's that?"
"Will you be my girlfriend?"
—
the big question is finally out there!
I wonder what Lizzie's answer is going to be
side note: I'm slowly beginning to lose motivation to continue updating for this :(