CHAPTER THIRTY: THE WEDDING
A.N. // HI !! Surprise, I'm publishing this early. Please read the epilogue, it's not that long and ties everything up. <3
The end of May is here faster than I anticipated, and with it comes the anxiety of going to a wedding.
Jasmine and I had driven to the destination together, with me staring out the window or at the painted flowers on her nails as she focused on the road. And when we finally arrived, we were both pleasantly surprised at everything.
It's a small wedding, at least so far, apparently consisting of the closest family and friends, and the location certainly didn't disappoint.
It's simplistic, scenic, and looks like something out of a fairytale. There's a clear stream steadily flowing and a fairly short stone bridge over it. To one side of the water is the parking, with the treeline a good distance away. And to the other is the event of the evening.
Soft, green grass, fluffy clouds at the skyline, and noble trees with large trunks are the backdrop to the main focus.
Rows of dark, polished wooden seats and a white aisle runner in the middle lead the eyes up to an octagonal white gazebo. It's been layered with ivy and string lights, and there is no shortage of flowers, either.
A few of the trees have also been gifted fairy lights to hang for the occasion, their large branches spread out above everything, providing a glowing extra touch.
The ceremony will take place during golden hour, followed by food, music, and dancing under the decorated trees.
Jasmine heads away to speak with someone she apparently knows, and so I'm left standing at the end of the bridge for a moment, viewing everything from a safe distance.
I immediately spot Vaughn speaking with someone as well, so I just close my eyes and take a deep breath in, feeling the fresh, clean air fill my lungs. When I open them, I simply observe all the little details.
The little flower girl with her little flower crown. Shiny jewelry accenting countless necks, wrists, ears, and fingers. The wail of a small child from somewhere within the celebrational chatter. A tiny butterfly's wings fluttering from above one of the decorative flowers, fighting to not be blown away by the soft breeze. The chirps of the songbirds from the branches. Kids holding colorful pinwheels, people in pastel dresses, string lights swaying lightly.
Tables, it would appear, are already set up for after the ceremony, and I briefly wonder who the caterer is. I hadn't thought to ask.
With one last deep breath, I decide to head over to the crowd of people.
And not long after, Vaughn and Zeke somehow immediately find me, which I'm most grateful for. Not knowing many people at an event always feels awkward.
I hug them both in greeting before pulling away, and Zeke begins to point out someone and hand me a disposable camera.
The woman he points out is the live wedding painter they hired for the occasion, and he tells me I get to be one of the people who is tasked with taking pictures for the night if I want to be. He makes sure to let me know I can always hand the camera off to Vaughn if I don't want it. And then he grins and walks away.
"Why not just hire a wedding photographer?" I ask Vaughn as Zeke begins talking with who I assume to be unfamiliar relatives, given how Ivan has his arm slung around them.
Next to Ivan is a younger woman who looks to be in her thirties.
That must be his new girlfriend.
I remember walking past brick buildings, seeing newspapers criticizing him for his words about Ethan's mental condition. But they hadn't said anything about him getting a girlfriend so soon after Katelynn's death. That I learned from Vaughn and Si, and the latter was exceptionally upset over it. I mean, it's been what, a matter of months since the funeral?
I look away as Vaughn answers.
"They did. They're also doing this, to get more than one person's viewpoint of the evening. They thought it might be more fun to include this, too."
"Oh, okay," I nod, pretending to understand. And then I glance up and notice the look on his face.
"Wait, is my makeup or hair messed up or something?" Why is he looking at me like that?
He shakes his head as if trying to clear his mind before clearing his throat and looking down for a second.
"No, not at all, it's just...you look pretty in the dress, and...you're just breathtaking, Mik."
My eyes widen, and my heart starts to race.
Me?
I'm breathtaking?
To him?
A direct compliment? And he doesn't look like he immediately wants to take it back?
Instead, he stays scanning my face, as if trying to gauge my reaction. I feel my cheeks heat and know I'm turning very red very fast.
I decide to just thank him, but immediately after I open my mouth, my name's called from behind me. Glancing at the source of the shout, I see Zeke waving me over, to presumably meet someone.
When I look back to thank Vaughn, he's gone.
I wish I was brave enough to tell him that I think he's breathtaking, too.
...
The ceremony and the dinner were lovely. I think. I don't have much experience with weddings, after all. But I do keep hearing mentions of the word, 'perfect' and how delicious the various foods served were, so I assume it truly was.
I mean, I thought the pasta and the lobster were good, but again, I don't have much experience with lobster, either.
Now people are dancing under the dark sky and the glowing lights, probably to warm up because the temperature has dropped a significant amount since the ceremony. Either way, everyone is still finding joy despite jarring deaths, and I think maybe that's a big part of what life sometimes is.
From my spot standing at the edge of the crowd, on the side near the forest, I watch as Vaughn grins at something he's told, and something - happiness, I think - rushes through me.
I quickly look away, afraid to be caught staring.
There's a long sigh from behind me, and I turn to see Siara in front of me. I smile, unsure why she sighed, but she speaks before I can say anything.
"What are you waiting for?"
My brows furrow, confusion taking over. "What?"
"If you're waiting for Jasmine to say, 'Look, I was wrong, you should totally go be in love with him,' it's just not gonna happen."
Wait-
"She's just not the type of person to go back on her beliefs and opinions like that, especially after what happened. But she's also not the type to stop talking with you over something like that, so don't worry about losing your friendship with her. I mean, with Vaughn, that's another story, but-" she pauses, taking a deep breath. "Look, the point is, yes, Jasmine's just looking out for you. And given everything that's happened, I don't blame her. I actually would normally agree with her about this, but it's so clear that you two actually care for each other. It's so clear. So what are you waiting for?"
I'm speechless. No thoughts...just...what? I...is she really saying this?
I swallow, before making an attempt at speaking. "Why...are you telling me this?"
"Because today is the happiest day of my life, and seeing you and Vaughn constantly glancing at each other and looking so...down? It's not cool. So go. Cause if anyone should make the first move, I think it should be you."
And with that casually said thought-evoking statement, she moves to go back through the crowd.
If anyone should make the first move, I think it should be you.
"Wow," Zeke says to my right, appearing out of nowhere. He's grinning. "She's nosier than I've ever been."
I remain blinking at the spot where they were, trying to process her words and figure out where to go from here. Zeke doesn't seem to notice my internal crisis, so he just keeps talking.
"I just got stopped by Ivan for the longest, worst conversation you can imagine. But it's like, we couldn't exactly not invite him, though, you know?" He glances at me, and at seeing whatever my expression must be, he sighs, just like Si did. "You know, she's right, though. He really does care about you."
"In what way, though?" I dare to ask, and he pauses. Considers my question. Hesitantly gives me a long side glance.
"You know...a good, noninvasive friend who minds their own business would tell you that's something you should work out with him."
I don't get a chance to respond, as he moves right along.
"But just like my wife, I'm not that friend, so I'll tell you that he always seems to be much...I don't know, more gentle towards you. It's like he could be yelling and threatening someone one second, but you could show up and he'd start tucking your hair behind your ear and talking about how cute you look or something. If he weren't too scared to do so, because I'll be honest, I think he has a massive fear of rejection." He pauses. "Also, Vaughn has like, never yelled or threatened, according to Si. But, honestly, if that isn't romantic adoration, I really don't know what is. And this is coming from the bride and groom, so you should just maybe consider it. Alright, I gotta go now. Later."
He immediately follows in Si's direction and away from my frozen, stunned figure, as if simply disappearing from the scene will make it seem like he didn't say anything at all.
If that isn't romantic adoration, I really don't know what is.
So Vaughn does see me as more than a friend? Why? What could I possibly have to offer besides comfortable silence and bad jokes?
And then suddenly Jasmine is in front of me.
And I go still as she says, "Hey, I was headed over and couldn't help but catch the tail end of what Zeke was saying."
"Oh," I reply because my mind is still reeling, and my heart is still starting to race.
"Look, you know how I feel about everything, but I'm still your friend. And as your friend, I need to tell you that you don't need permission to feel, Mikaere. If he makes you happy, he makes you happy. I just hope you're careful and want you to be safe. I...after Ethan and Tommy, you just...you think you know someone. But that's not always the case. That's all."
And with that, she also walks away.
Oh.
You don't need permission to feel.
And how do I feel about him?
It starts to snow.
There are quite a few groanings and mumblings that move throughout the crowd, most of them sounding unsurprised given how it's gradually gotten colder as the night has gone on, but I pay no mind to them.
How do I feel about Vaughn?
I look up, sticking my hand out to catch a few flakes. And just like that, I'm back near the cabin, laying down in the snow, trying to get away from the ravens, about to meet him for the first time. I'm playing in the snow with Moose. I'm walking back from the lake, shoveling snow as I ponder over what Vaughn is thinking. I'm sitting by the fire playing chess with him.
Where is he? I scan the crowd before me, soon realizing there is no 6'6 figure to be seen.
I see Zeke and Siara, sitting together as they sway gently to a song. I see Jasmine, her face tilted up in bliss as she smiles softly at the flakes that fall. But I don't see him.
"Have you seen Vaughn?" I ask someone.
"Huh? Who? Oh. My friend says he went in the direction of the stream."
And sure enough, to my right, I notice his familiar gait moving away from the celebration, crossing over the bridge.
Without a glance behind me, I follow, heels sinking into the soft ground.
I'm standing in the small kitchen cooking with him. I'm watching his hands as they teach me how to load an arrow. I'm keeping count of every time his lips almost quirk up at one of my lame attempts at a joke.
The snow is coming down harder now, and my feet seem to move on their own as I follow him, grateful that his height makes it impossible to lose sight of him again. He's halfway to the bridge now, and I'm halfway through the crowd.
Then it's summer, and I'm back to the nights spent by the campfires, staring over the flames in hopes of meeting his eye. I'm watching him kneel down to Red's small position, holding his hand out hesitantly so as to not intimidate the puppy. I'm feeling his burning gaze on me before I dive into the water.
An old man shifts his umbrella slightly from where it's leaning against his chair, and I almost trip over it. I hardly notice, careful to not lose sight of Vaughn.
It's autumn, and I'm with him reminiscing over the year before. I'm in the kitchen again baking pies with him, laughing over the sound of the music playing. I'm feeling his hand being placed over mine at that family dinner and being reminded that I'm not alone.
He's off the grass and on the bridge now, and I'm out of the crowd. Maybe we're both finally out of the woods.
It's winter again, and I'm at the Juneau cabin with him. I joke that it's for the sake of nostalgia, and he smiles, but we know it's because we both miss it.
Now, he's paused in the middle of the bridge, loosening his tie as he remains oblivious to my epiphany. Except... it's not an epiphany, not really. From the beginning, I've known that I cared for Vaughn. I could just never admit the truth to myself, partially because I'd never experienced anything like it before, and partially because of everything Jasmine and Darren had said to me. Also, I was afraid he wouldn't feel the same.
And then I'm watching Vaughn as he plays with Red. I'm thinking of him after I'm attacked. I'm shaking as I call him, and I'm waiting, anxious until he arrives. I'm terrified, and he makes me feel safe.
I break into a run.
Then it's the beginning of spring, and I'm making eye contact with him as I attempt to sing whatever song comes on and he's failing to hide his soft laughter. I'm watching as he rolls up the sleeves of his shirt or runs his hand through his hair, quickly avoiding his gaze when he glances over. I'm feeling excited but content every time he walks into the room.
Now it's spring and I'm in love with Vaughn.
He hears the rapid footsteps behind him now, and he turns around, surprise written elegantly across his beautiful features.
Someone has to be your first love, after all. And I can't see myself falling for anyone else while I know him.
So I kiss him.
...
And he kisses her back, shock flooding through his bloodstream because he just can't comprehend it.
It's soft and quick, hesitant, and when they break apart, he gently rests his forehead against hers for a moment.
"You..." he trails off, can't seem to word it right. "You actually feel the same?"
"You think, Sherlock?" She grins, a wildly deep blush covering her cheeks.
And he laughs in relief, thinking back to a question he once asked her in the Chickaloon tavern all that time ago.
He reaches up once more, grabbing and cradling her face gently. "My darling Watson," he whispers, smiling, before kissing her again.
For what reason had they waited so long, again? He can't currently seem to remember.
Oh, yes. That's right.
It was the self-doubt, guilt, and fear that ate away at him until all he could do was shove his feelings away.
Mikaere suddenly pulls back, breaking the kiss, but it's only to immediately rise on her toes to kiss his forehead, just as he did once in Chickaloon.
And the immediate and violent rush of affection that goes through him brings him to a sudden realization that he's so happy.
Gripping her waist, he lifts her up and places her on the side of the thick, stone bridge, standing before her as the snowflakes fall down and make themselves at home temporarily in their hair.
He glances slightly up at her, not used to not being the taller one, but he finds he likes it.
After all, hadn't he been looking up to her since they met?
They're inseparable the rest of the night, as they're both happily content with doing everything else with only one hand if it means they don't have to let go of the other's. And there's even a rare, out-of-character moment when Vaughn pulls her close by the waist and dances with her under the fallen string lights, just as they danced in the cabin. Another light dance for their most treasured memories.
He doesn't know what he plans to do in the future just yet, and he doesn't know what she has planned for hers.
But what he does know is that no matter where she decides to go in life, he knows that if she wants him, there he will always be.
Waiting for her.