After Matthew took me to the lake, things started to simmer down. By the end of the week, the tension between us had lifted like fog in the early morning. He still barely says a word to me, and never smiles, but we're learning how to coexist. We stay out of the other's way, and when we have to speak to one another, we're civil.
I can't say I've forgiven him for spanking me, but I'm trying to get over it. I'm just making sure that my tongue behaves tomorrow morning at church.
Heaven knows I do NOT want to be bared in front of him. Last time was embarrassing enough. Can you just imagine the shame? The man hasn't even seen my ankles, let alone.....Goodness gracious, I can't fathom the indignity.
I worked tirelessly all week, burning the midnight oil, so the children and Matthew had respectable clothes to wear. I even got all of their underthings made.
When I handed Matthew his pile of new garments, I tucked his private clothes underneath. He knew they were there though, and I saw his neck turn red when he took them to the lean-to.
Sunday morning as we're getting ready for church, Remi comes out in her new dress. The beauty this girl possesses is staggering. If her mama looked anything like her, she was probably the most handsome woman in this world.
I was right about the lavender. Remi's green eyes look like emeralds sparkling against the soft purple hue. She acts like she's indifferent, but this is the first time since I've met her that she's held her head up high.
She needed a pretty dress.
When Matthew comes in, I have to still my heart. He is clean, his beard is shaven, and his clothes fit him perfectly. Today I can truly see what this man looks like, without the grunge and tattered clothes masking his true form.
The awful way my heart is beating is embarrassing. I swear if it thumps any louder, he will be able to hear it.
In my entire 21 years of life, I have NEVER met a man that equaled him. Heavens I wish I could be a true wife to him.
When he notices Remi, he does a double take. His eyes turn to softened butter as he looks at her. She has a proud smile across her lovely face, hoping her Pa will acknowledge the dress. So help me, he BETTER acknowledge her dress and how nice she looks, or I might go find myself a horse whip.
"If you ain't the prettiest young lady I ever did see," he says, in a warm, velvety tone.
She beams as she hugs his waist. "Do I look like her?" She asks, looking up and biting her lip nervously.
He nods, his eyes clouding over like the sky before a storm. She can immediately tell she shouldn't have said that, and let's him go, walking over to grab her Bible from her room.
"Ready?" He asks, glancing at me.
I smooth my hair once more and I help Jamie tuck in his shirt. Then we quickly follow behind the others.
As we're making our way to the church, Matthew leans in and whispers.
"Heed my warnin' woman. If you sass Mrs. Salders, you'll be takin' over my knee and bared tonight once the youngins go to bed. This one will hurt worsn' last time. I went easier on ya than I should'a last week."
I clear my throat and stare straight ahead. I'm sick of being talked to like a child.
"Just so there ain't no mistake, I need ya to tell me you hear my words and understand 'em."
I sigh as I turn around and glare at him. He looks at me, and waits.
"Mr. Olton, I understand your feelings. However, you need to understand that I still make my own choices."
He nods as he looks ahead again. "K. Well, I'll say it again. There is to be NO sassin'. You can choose to sass iffin ya want, but I don't want to be seemin' unreasonable when I choose to respond."
Once it's obvious I'm not going to say anything, he sighs and mutters something under his breath. I can't be positive, but I swear to the heavens he said "bullheaded woman."
Sophie Brennan, you best hold your tongue. The shame of being bared would be unlike anything else.
When we get to the church, Ruthie sees us and scurries over. I hop down off the wagon and give her a big hug.
"Mrs. Salders is in rare form today," she mutters as she kisses my cheek.
Sometimes I think the good Lord has a sense of humor. Most of the time I find His humor a touch frustrating.
"Matthew Olton, you look downright fancy in your new clothes," Ruthie teases him.
Matthew shakes his head in exasperation as he helps Remi and Jamie out of the wagon.
Ruthie chuckles as she adjusts her baby on her hip and we walk in, sitting where we did last week.
Matthew sits next to me again. Sunday is quickly becoming my favorite day. I get to see Ruthie, but more importantly, I get to sit next to this man for over an hour. I get to hear his deep, lovely singing voice....
I get to imagine that he's actually mine.
Once the service is over and we go outside, I start immediately chatting with Ruthie. Her little girl is giving her fits, not happy with being so still and quiet for so long. I can tell Ruthie is getting irked.
"May I?" I ask as I reach my arms out.
"Please" she nods as she hands the wiggly, red-faced toddler to me.
"What's wrong, little one?" I ask as I wipe her tears off of her sweaty cheeks.
She sniffs and looks at me, memorizing my face. Then she hiccups and puts her head on my bosom, sticking her thumb in her mouth and starting to suck on it.
"You're a natural," Ruthie says in awe, watching us. I see Matthew next to me, scrutinizing. I can't see his face, but I see his fists tighten at Ruthie's words.
He doesn't want to have a baby with me. He hates seeing me with a babe in my arms.
Mrs. Salders struts up and smiles sweetly. I inhale a big breath and think good thoughts...
Kittens playing and tumbling over their own paws...A cool breeze on a hot summer's day....Mrs. Salders getting Poison Ivy from head to toe...
Be good, Sophie Louise Brennan.
"It's lovely to see how favorable you are with youngins, Miz Brennan. My Winnie is due any day now, and she'll be needin' someone to help her, seeing as how she'll be busy running the boardinghouse she owns. Since you're just here to take care of youngins, I wonder if ya wouldn't mind adding a babe to your list, too."
I open my mouth to say something when Matthew grabs my hand and squeezes it. Then he bends down and whispers in my ear.
"I see it in yur eyes. I'm askin' ya not to make me do it."
I take a deep breath and sigh, smiling at her with every once of sweetness I can muster.
"You must be so proud of your daughter, Mrs. Salders."
Matthew visibly relaxes.
"I am. Doin' somethin' with yur life is a much better use of yur time then comin' across the country as a glorified big sister."
Ruthie shakes her head. "Mrs. Salders, we just got outta' church. You can't claim to be a Christian only when you're inside the buildin', when you're speaking for the devil himself outside of it."
"RUTH!" Anthony snaps in a spine-chilling voice. It's the kind of tone that would immediately make a puppy put its tail between its legs.
"I don't care, Anthony. This woman and her nasty words. Everyone is these parts knows that the only reason Winnie is even married is because Mr. Salders paid a man to get her off of his hands. Nobody else would marry her. She's not only ugly on the outside, but on the inside too. JUST LIKE HER MA!"
Anthony grabs her hand and pulls, so she's right next to his side. "One more word, and I'll whip you in front of everyone," he whispers. He's so mad, it wasn't much of a whisper at all.
"Well! Of all the cruel things to say," Mrs. Salders says, fighting fake tears as she dabs at her eyes, making a big spectacle.
One of her daughters rushes over to her.
"What's wrong, ma?"
"All I was tryn'na do was commend Miz Brennan on being so good with the youngins, when Mrs. Felton insulted us. I'm humiliated, and I want an apology," she wails. Her cries are so phony, I stifle a chuckle.
"And you'll get one, Mrs. Salders," Anthony says sounding so menacing, even I want to apologize.
"I 'pologize, ma'am. Please forgive my harsh tongue," Ruthie says, not sounding sorry at all.
Anthony can tell, and shakes his head in anger. Something tells me she's in even worse trouble than last time.
I hand the babe back to Ruthie, and get in the wagon. When I look over, Ruthie is also climbing in theirs. As she's almost in, Anthony comes up behind her and smacks her HARD, once, on her bottom. The look he gives her confirms my suspicions. This will be a bad one for her.
All she was trying to do was stand up for me. I feel awful.
As we go down the path, I'm expecting it to be completely silent. Suddenly, Matthew turns his head and looks at me.
"Thank you, Miz Brennan."
"For what?"
The corners of his mouth twitch just a touch as he looks back at the path.
"For behavin'. I really didn't wanna do it."
I smooth out my skirts and wipe a strand of hair off of my sweaty forehead.
"Well, she still deserves it. Nobody should say such hateful things and get away with it."
He nods and turns his head, spitting out the side of the wagon.
"Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't. My family doesn't spew hate. I appreciate ya respectin' that."
"I probably won't always respect it, Mr. Olton."
I see him nod again. "I'm fully anticipatin' that, Miz Brennan."