((condensed version))
Monday, December 16, 2019
My mind seems to be blocking everything out. I should feel something but I just don't anymore.
I know what my family thinks of me.
They all think I have behavioral problems.
When did I become this kid that people in my family talk shit about?
When did I become someone who would lie about sexual abuse/misconduct?
When did I become an issue?
Should I even care enough to clear my name?
Should I care what they think?
They're my family, but if they think these things are they really in my corner?
Without them I feel so alone
It's a somewhat new feeling
I think I want a family
I should cut them off
Let them think what they will
I'm tired of hurting over them
Of not being believed
Of not being accepted
Of not feeling welcomed
I deserve to feel like a person
Instead of a problem