After Harry helped Draco out of his pajamas, Draco walked over to his sink in only his underwear, took his magical toothpaste case and toothbrush, and walked back over to Harry, who was waiting in the shower hallway.
"Gotta use this secretly," Draco mumbled, showing Harry a false label he had plastered onto the case - "POISONOUS. DO NOT TOUCH" was written in bold red letters.
"I don't remember you putting that label on it last night," Harry replied, taking his own pajamas off.
"I know. It magically labels itself when there are strangers around before I get there," said Draco, dipping his toothbrush into the black goo and brushing his teeth.
Harry walked over to the sink in his underwear and grabbed his toothbrush, then grabbed his large glass jar of the magical toothpaste and walked back over to Draco.
Harry took a look at his jar and noticed that it too had magically labeled itself with bold red letters - "TOXIC! STAY AWAY!"
Draco spat out the black blob onto the shower floor, and Harry watched as it magically disappeared without having to slip down the drain.
Harry brushed his teeth and spat the goo as well, then he washed his face and put on his robes as Draco repeated last night's long skincare regimen, adding more steps to his hair care routine.
While Draco gelled up his hair, Harry walked over to Blaise, who was showing Crabbe and Goyle a magical condom his father had invented.
"The Ministry of Magic doesn't know about this, so don't tell anyone," Blaise was telling the boys, holding up a piece of rubber that looked more ordinary than anything else. "It magically blocks the sperm from escaping, but if you chant a spell while wearing it, it powerfully blasts the sperm into the vagina and impregnates whoever you're fucking."
"Why would anyone wanna do that?" Crabbe asked in confusion. Goyle elbowed him in the rib.
"What spell do you chant?" Harry asked Blaise.
"No idea. Father wouldn't tell me, but he said he will once I'm old enough to have sex."
At the same time that Draco finished doing his hair, a flush sounded from one of the toilet stalls, and Theodore stepped out, already in his robes.
He headed straight for the sink and began washing his hands so vigorously that some of the water splashed at Goyle.
"What's his problem?" Draco whispered to Blaise, eyeing Theodore with disgust.
"No idea. He's been all cooped up by himself since last night, I barely know anything about him except that his stomach was upset," Blaise mumbled.
Draco sniggered, and the five boys went on to head to class, Salazar wrapped around Harry's neck and Theodore trailing a few feet behind them.
Their first class was Defense Against the Dark Arts, and they were with the Gryffindor first years, who were early.
Neville whimpered the moment he caught sight of Harry and Salazar and began trembling in his seat.
Ron was showing Dean and Seamus a spell he'd learned from his brothers, pointing his wand at his pet rat.
"Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow, turn this stupid fat rat yellow!"
Nothing happened. The rat squeaked and ran away from Ron's wand, which was a big mistake.
The moment it leapt off the table, Salazar stuck his head out in one swift motion, opened his mouth, and gobbled the rat up, swallowing it in one go.
"Scabbers!" Ron screamed, standing from his seat and running over to Harry.
"Will you tell your snake to stop eating people's pets?" Ron snapped at Harry, his fists clenched as if he was trying his best not to punch Harry in the face. "First it ate Neville's toad, and now my rat! What's next? Are you gonna train it to eat your classmates too?"
Draco stepped forward, his eyes shooting daggers at Ron. "Watch your mouth, Weasley. This world's better off without your stupid rat. Now shut up and sit down or this snake might have you for lunch."
And just like that, Peter Pettigrew was dead.