sometimes i think about what my adult life will end up like. will i be married with kids in a big house? will i be a mom to a child who's dad left? will i be single with no kids traveling the world? will i be dead? where will i be?
i definitely want to have kids and get married and be that basic family that every town has at least 20 of. but things don't always go as planned. maybe i won't have that.
i think noah thinks about the same thing a lot too. he'll never admit it because he likes to put up this front that makes it seem like he doesn't care about anything except going to the gym and partying and fucking random girls. but i know he thinks about his future a lot.
noah has potential. he's a smart guy. academically,he's always thrived. and he's always thrived when it came to football. he's going places in life.
maybe he wants a family? maybe he doesn't? does he wanna get married? does he wanna stay single? idk. but i just worry about him sometimes.
he never talks about his feelings. i mean i never do either but i have a lot of conversations with myself. which sounds weird but they're enough to get me through the hard times. but i think noah just keeps everything inside and doesn't know how to help himself.
i remember a few years ago,when his fighting got really bad,his parents sent him to a couple counselors to help him. but they didn't help him. i feel so bad for him sometimes. but he doesn't want to talk about his issues and i never want him to feel like i don't respect that or make him think he HAS to tell me things.
idk,i care about him. and i mean he deserves to have someone he can talk to. and i'll be that person for him any day.
sometimes i feel lucky because i'm the only girl that noah talks to. i mean yeah he flirts with like 15 girls an hour. but i mean i'm the only girl that he keeps around and doesn't use for sex and then throw to the curb. no other girl can say that for themself.
i think it makes a lot of girls jealous though. but i mean,it's not my problem. i'm just lucky to have him. he's been there through a lot of shit.
i haven't said anything yet because it's not something i like to talk about. but,about a year ago i got like super depressed. just over the fact that my parents aren't together. i got my heart absolutely broken,shattered,and stomped on by a boy i thought i was gonna be with forever. and there were some other things.
but anyways,the point of the story is,i didn't leave my room for over a week. i missed 6 days of school. i wouldn't talk to anyone. i was a mess. but noah was there. and i'll never forget the fact that he was trying his best to help me out of what had happened.
i don't know where i'm going with this. but i guess i'm just saying that i'm grateful for noah. he's someone i never want to loose.